27
FRANK
Among the crowd that surrounded Kevin and Perry, the conversation had moved on to how many women in the vicinity knew Perry because they’d worked with him. Loitering on the periphery of the group, but not participating in the discussion, Frank glanced around and soon picked out Ben. He and Tom hadn’t moved far away. Through a gap in the crowd, Frank saw something that made him feel ill.
Not something, someone.
It had crossed his mind that Chris would be at the secret party because Frank hadn't forgotten the brief time he spent with Chris or how it ended. As Frank remembered it, the night he spent with Chris, he had the best intimate connection with another person ever. The prospect of coming out to people the next day hadn’t been the only thing that made Frank run away. It wasn’t the main reason, either.
He wasn’t ready to enter a new relationship when the hurt from the death of the old one was still so fresh. He wasn’t ready to think about a relationship. Or deal with the competing emotions and overwhelming attraction that he felt for the man who’d so captivated him. And on top of all that, he was convinced that Chris was way out of his league. What they had couldn’t amount to more. A successful, affluent man like Chris would never fall for a lowly construction company employee. After all, low social status and a lack of ambition had been a problem in the relationship with Ash, and that had ended.
The idea of having sex with Chris one night and coming out to people the next day wasn't the only thing that had made him run away that day. He'd fled from Chris's car with no explanation when he'd seen Connor and Lee, but the truth was, just as he’d said to Chris at the time, he hadn’t been ready.
Watching Chris across the crowded room did strange things to Frank's insides, as if his heartbeat had forgotten its natural rhythm.
His mouth went dry and sipping cold beer did nothing to alleviate the thirst. He watched for a little while as Chris talked easily with the people around him.
He wanted to go over and talk, but when he saw how Chris seem to be flirting with another man, jealousy rose its ugly head. Chris appeared to have a boyfriend; of course, he’d moved on. A man like him would be able to sort through suitors.
It was irrational, but Frank had a primitive urge to march over there and claim the man as his own.
Frank regretted his lost opportunity. That he hadn’t been ready back then.
Over the months, Frank had suspected his mind was playing tricks with him, building up a fantasy image of Chris, making him out to be more sexy, confident, and alluring than could possibly be real. However, watching Chris, he could see all of those qualities in him. Chris visibly oozed confidence and charisma.
Jealousy.
Where had that come from?
Envious of what Kevin and Perry, and Ben and Tom had.
Trying to work out whether any of those men were Chris's boyfriend, Frank watched. It certainly looked as if the other guys were flirting with Chris. It was possible Frank just imagined it, but every man appeared enthralled, and why not? Chris was a special man.
Dammit, there were too many men Frank didn't know at this party. Not just work colleagues with their plus ones, but also the extended friends and family of Connor and Lee.
Eventually, Frank couldn't contain himself any longer. He worked his way through the crowd, trying not to run. Trying not to feel like a mama bear defending her cub from an unwelcome predator.
When he got closer, Frank realised one of the men who he had only seen from behind was someone he knew, and the reason for his possessive ire was unfounded.
Frank knew Rick’s Removals’ Rick fairly well. Rick was a regular in the bars frequented by builders and other construction workers, and there was no way Rick was gay.
Chris smiled warmly when he saw Frank.
Before either of them could say a word, Rick spoke. "Hello, Frank. Long time, no see."
Greetings were exchanged with handshakes.
"Hello, Chris." Frank's tone was low and sincere. He ached with many things he wanted to say but couldn't when they were surrounded by other people. It was possible things were about to turn very awkward.
"Frank, did you know Rick has a removals company? I was just discussing the possibility of using his expertise to move some of my work for an exhibition in a few weeks’ time." Not in any way thrown off-kilter by Frank's approach, Chris appeared totally at ease as he continued the conversation.
Frank and Rick exchanged acknowledging nods.
"Yes, I know Frank," said Rick. "How do you two know each other?"
"Frank lives very near my studio," Chris replied without a moment of hesitation.
"We've been known to drink at the same watering hole," Frank added. "Where’s the exhibition?"
"Not too far, just north London."
"When is it, exactly? I'd love to come and see it."
"And I'd love for you to come," Chris replied. "How have you been these past few months?"
Frank felt too self-conscious to say much in front of Rick and anyone else who could hear. "Good? What about you? I suspect we’ve a lot to catch up on." Frank hoped to convey that he wanted to catch up in detail, in a way they couldn’t in front of an audience.
"Guys, excuse me, I need to see a dog about a man." Excluded from the question, Rick may have picked up on the hint to move on. "I’ll leave you to catch up. You’ve got my number, Chris, call me."
For a moment they stood and watched Rick walk away and disappear into the crowd.
"I just wanted to come over and say hi," said Frank when Rick was gone from view. "Is it me or is it stuffy in here?"
"If you want to step outside, do you mind if I come with? I could do with some air myself," Chris said.
"That would be great. Lead on."