28
CHRIS
It seemed at least a quarter of the assembled guests had the same idea. There could have been close to a hundred people outside. Most were gathered in a smoking huddle near the white marquee.
Some figures walked in the ornamental gardens, and Chris struggled to identify a clear space where Frank might feel comfortable; where he wouldn’t be overheard. Chris steered them around the side of the tents, aware that they could always go into the main hotel building in search of a quiet spot or sit in his car. Before they reached the parking lot that wrapped around the hotel like a moat and separated it from the marquee on the lawn, they came to a weather-worn old picnic table with benches either side.
Chris stood by the table; he suspected their conversation might be brief. "You wouldn't be the first man to disappear after just one night, and I'm sure you won't be the last. I won’t tell anyone, so don't worry. If it will cause you trouble with your girlfriend, well, she’ll hear nothing from me."
"That’s not it. Chris, I’ve not got a girlfriend. I’m sorry. I owe you an explanation if you’ll listen. I won’t blame you if you don’t want to give me the time of day." Frank gestured to the table and benches. "Shall we sit?"
Curious and surprised, Chris slipped onto a bench. "I didn't expect to see you here."
Frank opened his mouth, about to speak, hesitated, and looked around. "Chris, I can’t apologise enough for leaving as I did. I couldn’t do anything different at the time. I want to apologise for not contacting you afterwards. That’s something I regret. And the longer I left it, the harder it was to change."
"You didn’t forget your way to the studio then." It sounded catty, and Chris wished he hadn’t said it — he didn't want to give the impression he waited, pining, for weeks and weeks. He just didn’t have the time or inclination to meet up with another man. It wasn’t that Frank was special.
He was.
Chris just didn’t want Frank to know.
As he said, it was just one night; they owed each other nothing.
"It wasn't you; it was me. Oh, that sounds like a line from a film, doesn't it?"
"A total cliché." Chris nodded. "Anyway, forget about it. It’s not important, and I won't mention anything to anyone."
Frank looked down at the table, as if seeking answers there. "I don't want to forget about it. I haven’t forgotten." He raked his fingers through his hair. "I never wanted to forget. At the time, I just panicked. I saw Lee and Connor in the street when we were sitting in the car, and I recognised them. I wasn’t ready to talk to other people about you and me because it was all so new."
Nodding, Chris said, "Spending the night with a man?"
"I'd just split up with Ashley. And that felt very raw. I wasn’t sure whether we’d get back together. I’d change my mind about what I thought about her every thirty minutes or so." Looking up with eyes wide, Frank added, "And I felt guilty about being with you when I wasn’t ready for a new relationship."
"Relationship, that sounds a bit serious." Chris had also thought they had a potential future together, though.
Frank looked around, and Chris wondered if it was because he was self-conscious. Perhaps he didn't want anyone knowing that they'd met before. He needn't worry, as Chris wasn't going to out him. But he also wasn't going to tell him that.
"I know one night doesn’t begin a new relationship." Frank looked down at the table again, where his fingers fidgeted and stretched. "What I’m trying to say is that I was in a mentally messed up place right then. I may have been unsure about going on a date with a man, but that was probably the least of my problems. It wasn’t the main reason I ran and stayed away. Recently dumped after ten years was the bigger reason. It would have been different if we’d met one or two months later."
"Bad timing. I understand that."
Frank nodded. "Are you here with someone?"
"I know lots of the guests," Chris replied.
"A boyfriend, I mean?"
"No. Eternally single, that's me. What about you, Frank? I thought you were going to get back with your girlfriend. Didn’t that happen?"
A quirky, crooked smile changed the shape of Frank’s face, and his eyes lit up. "No, I never got back with Ash. That was never the plan; she did ask, several times, but it wasn’t right for us. I just had to take a little bit of time getting used to being single. Getting to know me and what I want if I’m not doing stuff to make other people happy."
"Finding yourself?"
"Yes. I’ve been single the whole time, ever since we met. And, well, I’m, um…"
A man who seemed so promising and then disappeared from the face of the earth the very next day, thought Chris.
The only way Chris knew how to contact Frank was through the dating website. When Chris logged in, immediately after Colin and Greg’s barbecue, Frank’s profile was already gone. It was the twenty-first-century equivalent of vanishing into thin air.
Chris had tried other apps and websites including Grindr, but no sign of Frank or those distinctive Celtic tattooed arms. Not interested. Moved away. Reunited with ex-girlfriend. Became a monk. Whatever the reason, it would have been nice to be told.
"So how do you know Connor and Lee?" Frank asked, steering the conversation in a different direction.
"Lee is a long time friend of mine. I only met Connor when he started dating Lee last September." The same time as you disappeared on me. "What about you; how do you know them?"
"I work with them." Frank sighed and hung his head. "I'm not a carpenter; I'm a scaffolder. Connor’s my boss."
Chris sat up straight and leaned forward. "You’re not Frank, the scaffolder? The Frank!" He practically squealed.
Frank looked confused. "What do you mean, The Frank?"
"Frank who teams up with Ben? Ben who is dating Tom. Tom, my housemate."
"Tom?" Frank's face showed the realisation upon it. "He’s your housemate. I only just met him a little while earlier but, of course, Ben talks about Tom. A lot. All the time."
"I had no way to contact you and yet over the past month or two that Tom and Ben have been dating I’ve heard him mention you many times." All good things too, confirming Chris’s impression. Chris wondered how much of what Frank had said before was actually a lie. At least Ben really had been gushing in his praise of his work colleague Frank, who was great at his job and stood up against homophobia. "I just never realised it was you. Why did you say you were a carpenter?"
Frank blushed. At least he had the decency to be embarrassed about lying. "I told you the truth about woodworking as a hobby. The lie about my job was impulsive. Not thought through. When we first talked in the café, I didn’t know what sort of crazy person you might turn out to be. At that time, I was worried about my reputation; I thought all the scaffolders were straight. How wrong was I! In the last few months, we've had four men come out. It's given me a lot to think about."
"I can understand that. I don’t take just any man to the studio where I work, either. Not hookups."
Frank practically flinched at the implication. Without putting it into so many words, Chris wanted to make it quite plain that he hadn't thought of Frank as a one-night play thing.
"Chris, I thought about you a lot since that day. I knew where to find you, but I didn't have the nerve to come knocking at the studio. After that night we spent together, I ran scared when I saw Lee and Connor. I didn't want them to see me with you. Knowing what I do now, I realise how crazy that was." Frank's trembling fingers timidly reached across the table. "If it's not too late, could I take you to dinner or something?"
"I don't know. Gosh, Frank. It’s so not what I was expecting. Are you asking me as a friend or on a date?"
"Can it be both?" Frank bit his bottom lip.
"It can, but if you had to choose?" Chris pushed for an answer.
"Then a date. I’m just not experienced in dating, I should warn you. I haven’t got in any practice since we met."
Chris felt lighter, wanted and exhilarated. Asked on a date by a lovely man who he’d wanted. He couldn’t be happier.
"How is the art world treating you? Weren't you going to Japan this year?"
"China, I've been to China. It was great to finally get there after I missed out ten years ago when my art class went." He hadn't meant to say that, but sometimes too many details slipped out.
"Missed out? Why?"
Chris shook his head. "Just circumstances. It’s a long time ago."
Frank seemed to accept this lack of an explanation. "Our date. What are you doing tomorrow or the day after?"
"Do you remember me telling you I work around the clock sometimes? I think I probably told you that I work around the clock when an exhibition is looming."
Frank nodded.
"Well, an exhibition is looming. I have one in London in a few weeks, and right now that's all I can think about. Let's make a point of exchanging numbers." Chris pulled his phone from his pocket to input Frank's details.