NEW LIFE
Alina stood in the corner of the great chamber at Dunkeld. The fire was banked to roaring, making her sweat in her long velvet gown.
“Here is the Vervain, mistress.”
“Thank you,” Alina said briefly to Blaire, as she brought in a bowl of steaming tincture. It was the best rinse for wounds she knew. Blaire left it where Alina directed and then Alina walked over to where Amabel laid, brow slick with sweat, looking up.
“You are well?” Alina asked. She could see her sister was in some pain, though she looked calm – every time a contraction passed through her, she tensed, her face stiffening, and then relaxed.
“I am,” Amabel whispered. “I am glad you're here.” She reached out and held Alina's wrist, fingers gripping the slender form of it.
“As am I,” Alina said. She looked into her sister's eyes and grinned. “It's bad enough having to live with Mistress MacFarlane as it is, without having her in here now.”
Both sisters laughed. The old midwife was not allowed in under Alina's strict rules of the bedchamber – both girls had lost their mother in childbirth and the thought of trusting anyone except each other was something they could not think of.
“It is good of you to come,” Amabel said.
Alina looked round. She had not had to travel anywhere, she lived in Dunkeld now. She saw where her sister stared and her own face creased with smiling.
“Well, it beats freezing to death in the north wing,” a dry voice said.
“Aili, it is wonderful to have you,” Alina smiled at her diminutive aunt, who had made the journey over freezing ground in the winter's cold.
“I like being here,” Aili said firmly. Neither Alina nor Amabel seemed to believe that statement, with reason. Aili had not left the turret for almost fifteen years. She had done a remarkable thing, coming into the world again, and they both felt awed.
“I'm...glad,” Amabel said, tensing. Alina saw how her teeth clamped, biting her lip. She turned to Aili and they exchanged a nod.
“”Now, when the next pain comes like that, tell me,” Aili instructed calmly. “When they're close enough together, I'll call your sister over and we can hold you up. That'll make things easier.”
Amabel nodded, face flushed with perspiration. Alina looked into the fire, feeling worried. She stared into the flames. As she watched, her sister's breath rasping in the quiet behind her, she slowly felt herself drawn into the flame, the world becoming quiet, as it did before she had a vision. In the flame, a face stared out at her, a face framed with long, straight auburn hair. The face was a grave oval, the mouth firm, and exactly a replica of Broderick's. The eyes were wide and heavy-lidded, something like her own. The color was striking: mirror gray, grave and tranquil, they hit Alina with a jolt that pained her. Mother!
The girl in the vision had eyes just like those of a mother Alina had not known she remembered. Until now.
“Alina...”
A strained gasp from the bed broke the vision and sent Alina crossing the floor with great haste, taking a seat on Amabel's left on the great dark oaken bed.
Aili looked up briefly, blue eyes glowing. “There, now,” she said, smiling. “The next one like that, we'll lift you up and you can push. Ready? One, two...”
“Aaah!”
Amabel screamed as the next contraction ripped through her and Alina felt all her weight press down on her shoulder. She bit her lip, struggling to support her sister, trying to ignore the cries and grunts of pain, the gasping breath.
She will be safe. She will be well. Let her be well...
The litany chased itself round Alina's head, as her sister struggled, panted, cried out, wept, and screamed.
Alina felt her own heart breaking, wishing she could do something, anything, to relieve pain.
Let her live. Let her live.
A great scream rent the air and Amabel tensed. Alina grunted with effort, holding her while she pushed, and pushed.
“Ah. There we are, lass. I've got the shoulders. One more push like that and...”
Amabel groaned and shuddered, then lay still. Further down the bed, Aili was smiling.
“Well, you can welcome your daughter into the world,” she said. Her voice was rich with wonder and Alina could hear the trace of tears in it.
She herself was gasping, feeling a relief that made her weak. She looked at her sister, who lay, spent and sweat soaked, on the bed. At the word “daughter,” she smiled.
“Daughter?” She turned to Alina, eyes shining with love for the new baby. “Can I see her? Let me see her!”
Aili chuckled. “I'm just washing her, dear,” she said. “Patient.” Alina could hear the sound of water and the coughs and then a harsh cry. Aili was bent over, her solid form strong as she cradled the babe under the water.
Two minutes later, she turned back to the bed. Alina was sitting with her hand in her sister's, squeezing her cold, pale hand, smiling at her as she smiled back, eyes bright with wonder.
“Here we are,” Aili said. She was at the bedside, holding in her arms a bundle that seemed to Alina impossibly small to cradle human life. She looked, staring as if transfixed, and found herself looking into a flushed, rumpled face, the eyes wide in wrinkled lids, their depth a deep, unwavering gray.
“Oh...” Amabel let out a gasp. She sat, though Alina held out a hand to try and stop her, and the expression on her face was a mix of wonder, longing, and such aching, painful love that it made Alina's heart stand suddenly still.
“Here we are. Now, hold her this way, easy with her head...it's not firm yet.” Aili chuckled gently as she placed the baby in Amabel's arms.
“Oh...” Amabel looked at her little daughter, her hand wavering before her face. The babe reached out and its hand met her finger, the tiny shape of it so perfect Alina's heart rose in her throat.
The babe gripped Amabel's finger and she breathed out with awe, and then started, suddenly, to cry. She rocked back and forth, holding the baby. She was crooning to her, a huge smile on her face, her lips tracing the baby's forehead with kisses.
Aili had turned away, taking the stained sheet from the bed. As Alina watched her, she saw her shoulders shake and knew her aunt cried.
She felt her own heart twist painfully, and looked back at the bed. She smiled at Amabel, who smiled back, the smile all wonder, joy, and love.
Alina looked at the babe, and the babe looked back. As their eyes met, the child let out a little cry. Alina smiled at her.
Joanna, she thought. Welcome, Joanna.
The baby made a little noise and then was still, her eyes unfocused but wandering in the direction of her aunt.
Then Amabel moved to feed her and the room grew quiet.
Alina looked into the fire, thinking that, after all, her heart might actually break, it was so full.