All In
Johnny
THE NEXT MORNING, after feeding the horses and letting them out to pasture, Johnny walked to the back porch, his gaze on Izzy and Addie sitting on the loveseat there.
He walked through the door and saw that Addie had her long legs stretched out, feet on the coffee table in front of her, and she was wearing a striped cami and short-shorts sleep set. Her mass of hair was an appealing bedhead mess. Her eyes were still shadowed with sleep. All of this further making Johnny wonder what kind of dumbfuck Perry was. She had a mug of coffee curled in both hands like it was the elixir of life.
Izzy was wearing his Home tee over a pair of his pajama bottoms that she’d cut off at the knees and her hair was also an appealing bedhead mess that had something to do with sleeping but more to do with something else.
Suffice it to say, bottle five moved through bottle six and halfway through bottle seven, so a fun night got more fun.
After bottle seven and a half and everyone leaving, Johnny got to take off her dress, and with Izzy plastered, they’d probably not been as quiet as they should have.
Or at least Izzy wasn’t.
Then again, Addie was probably totally passed out, seeing as Iz did the same after he’d made her come, she’d returned the favor, and she’d slipped straight to sleep totally naked without even going to the bathroom to clean up.
Right then Iz looked a lot more alert than her sister, likely due to her practice with early mornings, so she had Brooks in her arms and was giving him his morning bottle.
Seeing her there, looking cute but thoroughly fucked and giving her nephew a bottle, Johnny felt the earth disappear under his feet and he plummeted only to stop and stand solid again.
This was not an unsettling feeling. It was just the first time he took note of it, even though it had been happening in increments for weeks as he kept falling faster and faster, deeper and deeper, even in the time she wasn’t around.
No, it wasn’t unsettling.
This was a fall he was happy to be taking.
“You want me to get you some coffee?” Izzy asked.
Of course she’d offer to get him coffee even if she was sitting with her sister, feeding her nephew.
“I can get it,” he replied, moving toward her.
He bent down and kissed the top of her head.
Then he hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to do, or if it would be welcome, but then he decided to do it.
So he moved to Addie and did the same thing.
When he was done, her head tipped back, and there was wonder in her blue eyes that were a darker blue than her sister’s, and as with everything else, almost as pretty.
“You need a refill?” he asked.
She shook her head mutely.
He turned to Iz, glancing at the coffee table to see her full cup.
She gave him a sweet smile.
It had been the right thing to do.
He went in, got his coffee and came back out, seeing in the meantime they’d been joined by a gray cat who was resting on her belly between the two women, eyes closed, Addie’s fingers in the fur of her ruff, and she was purring loudly.
Sabrina had decided to join the girls.
Johnny went to the screen door, leaned a shoulder against the jamb and looked out to the yard.
The table had been cleared but it and the chairs were still out there.
He took a sip and decided he’d see to that next.
“I know I’m cramping your style,” Addie announced.
Johnny’s gaze went to her as did Izzy’s.
She was looking at Johnny.
But it was Izzy who asked, “Sorry?”
“I remember how it is, first blush, all that goodness,” Addie said, now speaking to the coffee table. She took a sip and turned to her sister. “But I kinda like that little guy.” She indicated Brooks with a tip of her head and gave her sister a small smile. “I like spending time with him. It sucked how in my face it was that I had a husband and he had a father, but we were still on our own. It was that with Perry. It wasn’t taking care of my son. I love doing that.”
“Of course you do,” Izzy replied quietly.
“So you guys should do what you want to do. Go out. Have fun. Spend the night at Johnny’s. I’m used to taking care of Brooklyn alone so it’s not like I’m in new territory, just,” her lips twitched, “in a different place in familiar territory.”
“Now you have us,” Johnny said, and both women’s eyes came to him.
“You don’t have to—” Addie started.
This wasn’t Shandra and her dipshit brother.
This was Izzy and her strong, smart, funny, loving sister.
So he didn’t let her finish.
“No. Now you have us so you don’t have to do it alone,” he reiterated.
Addie shook her head. “It would really make me feel better if you guys just did your thing.”
“We will,” Johnny told her. “We are,” he stressed.
“It’s not the same,” Addie pressed.
“It’s life,” Johnny said.
She stared at him a beat before stating, “Okay. I don’t mind you guys helping out, only when it fits. But if you don’t go camping because I’m on shift and someone has to look after Brooks, forget about it. The daycare does Saturdays but Deanna said she’d pitch in if I need it until I’m settled. And I appreciate you offering to talk to Margot for me but I don’t know her that well, and it wouldn’t be cool at this juncture to unload my kid on her.”
Johnny was going to get into the fact that Margot wouldn’t think of it as unloading a baby on her, but before he could, Izzy entered the conversation.
“It’s not bad, is it, that for a while we look after you?”
Addie looked to her sister, her face setting firm.
“Like when you warmed up soup for me?” she inquired.
“Ad—” Izzy began.
“Or when you helped me with that report about The Call of the Wild?” Addie went on.
“It’s what—” Izzy tried again.
“Or when you and Mom made me stay inside when you went out and buried our cat that had died?”
Izzy’s face got sad. “Doll—”
“Be with your guy and go camping, Iz,” Addie ordered.
“We can—”
Addie leaned into her. “Be with your guy and go camping, Iz,” she repeated. “I’ve got this. I’m fine. You’re giving us a home. You know how appreciated it is. But when we’re here, we add to your life, not take from it.”
“You never take from it,” Izzy returned.
“I’ve been taking from you since Mom loaded us up in that car in the middle of the night and we left Dad,” Addie shot back.
Iz shut her mouth.
Addie looked down to Brooks and back to her sister.
“He’s not hard work,” she whispered.
“No,” Izzy whispered in return.
More whispering when Addie said, “Love you, Iz.”
“Love you too, Addie,” Izzy replied.
“Be with your guy,” Addie urged.
“Okay,” Izzy agreed.
Johnny looked back out the window, raising his mug and taking a sip in order to open a throat that had closed.
When he was finished and nothing further had been said by the two sisters, he spoke.
“I’m dismantling that table and putting it and the chairs away, and if either of you two women even look like you’re gonna offer to help, I’m wringing your neck.”
There was a moment of stunned silence.
And then he heard two women bust out laughing.
“I need new wineglasses,” Izzy muttered.
Johnny turned his gaze from the television show they were watching, lying in his bed, to her beside him.
“And maybe a trip to the Pacific Northwest,” she went on.
He looked back to the TV.
They were watching “Big Little Lies.” It was funny. It was trippy. Reese Witherspoon was hysterical. And the suspense was excellent.
How Iz got wineglasses out of it, he had no idea.
The Pacific Northwest he could do.
He returned his gaze to her. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” she mumbled.
He didn’t look back at the screen as he noticed this entire exchange happened with her watching the TV.
It was a great show.
But that wasn’t it.
They were both up on pillows, Johnny on his side of the bed, Izzy on hers.
He had his back to the pillows with his legs stretched out in front of him, feet crossed at the ankles, with a bottle of beer in his hand resting on his abs.
She was on her side curled in a wide S, down a little bit with her head on plumped pillows, her glass of wine on the nightstand behind her.
And there was a vast expanse between them.
After a great night and a sweet morning, Johnny felt this vast expanse start widening after the tables and chairs had been put away, they’d shared breakfast then Izzy had showered and come downstairs only for Addie essentially to kick them out of Izzy’s house.
Izzy packed to spend the night and get ready in the morning at his place. They loaded up Ranger. They went to the mill. He showed her how to drive an ATV and they went cruising all over his land. But after they got back and had a late lunch, she seemed to be flagging so he suggested she take a nap.
She took him up on that with an eager attitude that he found unsettling.
It was like she was looking for a way to escape him in his (essentially) one-room house.
She slept hard and long, woke up groggy, ate the food he cooked for her like she was in a dream state, and not a good one, and when they decided to camp out in his bed and watch TV, she entered the bed removed from him. Even if she was on her side facing him, she didn’t cuddle in or even get close.
She also did nothing to invite Johnny to do it.
At first, Johnny thought she was still groggy or maybe sorting through all she’d learned the day before that was going down with her sister.
But studying her lying beside him watching TV, he knew that wasn’t it.
He didn’t know what it was but he had a creeping feeling sliding up the back of his neck and he didn’t fucking like it.
“What’s up, spätzchen?” he asked.
“Hmm?” she muttered distractedly.
“Are you okay?”
She lifted just her eyes to him, not her head.
“Sorry?”
“Are you okay?” he repeated.
“Of course,” she replied, looking back to the TV.
“You wanna get closer?” he asked.
“I’m good,” she said.
“I’m not,” he returned.
She lifted her eyes again. “Johnny, I’m watching this.”
No, he didn’t fucking like it.
That was when he raised the remote.
He hit pause and she glanced at the TV and back to him, now with little lines in between her eyebrows.
“What’s up?” he asked again.
“I’m just into this show. It’s good,” she lied.
They’d never watched TV together.
Maybe she wasn’t a cuddler.
However, she’d fallen asleep on top of him with his cum sliding out of her.
She was a cuddler.
“Babe—”
“This is a good show. I’m into it. And maybe still a little hungover.”
“You slept for two and a half hours this afternoon and drank more water today than an NFL team during a game.”
She got up on her forearm. “Yes, but I drank a lot of wine last night too.”
“You did,” he agreed.
“So I’m still a little hungover.”
“Being hungover means you can’t scoot close and watch a show with me?”
“I am watching it with you.”
“There’s three feet of space between us.”
She looked down at the bed but again to him when he continued speaking.
“You worried about your sister?” he asked.
“A little,” she answered. “Mostly I’m relieved. Perry’s always been a loser. I hate how she finally figured that out but I’m glad that part of her life is at an end and she can start fresh without him dragging on her.”
He believed at least that.
“You worried about the money it’s gonna take for her to get shot of that guy?” he went on.
She shook her head. “We always find a way.”
Yeah, he bet they did.
“So what is it?” he pushed.
“It’s nothing, Johnny. I’m just a little hungover and into this show.”
“Iz, we talk. That’s the deal, remember?”
“Your deal,” she returned.
His brows drew together. “What?”
She turned her eyes again to the TV. “Nothing.”
“Izzy,” he growled.
Her eyes shot to him and she pushed up to a hand in the bed.
“Okay, so, I’m learning the kind of guy you are, maybe you should learn the kind of woman I am,” she stated.
“Hit me,” he invited.
“Sometimes I need space to sort through things in my head.”
“Does this space need to be physical?” he asked.
“I . . .” She looked around them and back at him. “Sorry?”
“Can’t you sort through things in your head curled up to me?”
“I . . . I . . .” She stopped there like she didn’t know the answer to that question.
He tried something else.
“What did you mean, ‘your deal?’”
“What?” she asked, beginning to look panicked.
“You said it was my deal that we talk. What did you mean when you said that?”
“I meant that, uh . . .”
“Spit it out,” he prompted.
“Hold your horses!” she snapped, panic gone, she was ticked.
Johnny shut his mouth and stared at her.
The only times he could recall that she’d snapped at him was when she lost it right before he fucked her in her stable and when she got slightly ticked when he’d brought up Shandra on the balcony.
It just wasn’t her.
But maybe it should be her.
Maybe she should feel free to get pissed every once in a while, quit with the stiff upper lip, stop rolling with the punches and punch back.
And maybe now was the time to show her that she was safe to do that with him.
“You could curl up to me,” she noted angrily.
“Would you have been good with that?” he asked.
“I . . . don’t know,” she said. Then she went back on it and answered, “No.”
“So you need space to sort through things, it needs to be physical, but can you let me in on what these things are?”
“That’s part of having them to myself to sort through them, so no.”
“You ever had anyone to sort them out with?”
“Of course. Mom. Addie. Deanna.”
“A man,” he clarified.
“What’s that matter?”
“Iz—”
“She’s my sister, you know,” she declared suddenly.
Johnny shut his mouth again.
Izzy didn’t.
“Yesterday, when you were asking if it was Addie’s plan all along to come up here and stay with me, and I told you no but she was going to be with me for a while, you looked unhappy.”
He set his beer aside, turned to her and tried again, “Iz—”
She cut him off. “And she’s my sister. We’re . . . we . . . this is good. What you and I have. It’s new but it’s good. And it’s not habit, me looking out for her. It’s family. She needs me. So I need to be there for her. She’d do the same for me.”
“I told you yesterday it was all cool.”
“Yes, but at first you looked upset about it.”
“Because we’re new and this is good and I want more of that,” he hedged.
It was more than just that. He just didn’t want to bring it to his bed with Izzy in it with him.
“That’s lovely and all but you were there. Perry didn’t just prove himself a loser, he proved himself a total jerk. She’s going to be a single mom, a real one now, in a new place and I want more of this too. I mean, you have to know that. I hate that it’s true what Addie said, she’s cramping our style. But it’s true, and I hate that she feels that and I hate that you feel that and I’m stuck in between, not giving the best to either of you.”
It was time to shut this down and there was only one way to do it.
He didn’t like that way.
But it was the only one.
“Shandra left me because of her brother.”
To that, Izzy shut her mouth.
“I can’t say why but I’ll say me not going to the police to share about shit he did makes me an accessory after the fact. So since I’d rather not be incarcerated, it’d be good you didn’t say anything to anyone, including Addie.”
Her eyes were now big.
Johnny didn’t let up.
“The whole situation was fucked up. So it was a totally fucked decision she made. She had no business going with him. But she felt like someone had to look after him and she was all he had. So she picked him and left me.”
“I . . . don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
“Nothing to say,” he replied. “I was pissed about it at first. Hurt and pissed. It didn’t take long to get to a place of understanding and that ended with me not being pissed, just hurt. They were tight. They had to be that way with the parents they had. She felt the bond of blood and obligation, and even if what she was doing was dangerous and downright stupid, she wasn’t strong enough to break that bond. So she went.”
“Addie’s not a criminal on the run,” she told him.
“I know that. And yeah, you saw me react to being in another situation that’s so good it’s great, it feels right, I know there’s a future in it and I want that, and I’m also in the middle of a situation with my woman’s sibling. But I didn’t lie to you then, Eliza. I get the difference and I’m cool with it. That doesn’t make me less disappointed when we’re at your place I can’t fuck you and not bite it back when I come, and I can’t listen to the sounds you make that I like a helluva lot when I touch you. That you don’t feel totally free to be with me when you want and you’re pulled another way. I know it’s selfish but this is that good. I want all of you. Right now I can’t have it. But I want it so I’ll take what I can get.”
“I like that you want all of it, I want all of it too,” she shared softly. “I just can’t give it now. Or at least, I didn’t feel I could before Addie talked to us this morning.”
“And this morning is when I realized where I was at with this. With you. With her. With Brooks. If I want to explore this with you, I have to be all in. I can’t hold back like I might in the beginning of a normal situation without any drama, testing the waters, seeing how far in I wanna get. This is no longer about building on what we got. Now, it’s about life, learning to have all that’s there to have together. And I’m all in. With you comes her. Brooks. Deanna. Charlie. With me comes Tobe. Margot. Dave. Ben and Cait, and whoever else.”
She was holding herself very still, staring at him intently, but he wasn’t quite done.
“Telling you all this isn’t about me getting burned by Shandra and still licking my wounds. Right here and now with this conversation, since I’m already all in, it’s about me having a genuine reaction to something, showing it, you internalizing that and not sharing it. I was disappointed because it’s disappointing. Life hits you with that too often. But in the end, you being close with Addie and Brooks and being there for them, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s just that I get to have the honor of doing it with you.”
“Johnny,” she whispered, wonder in her eyes now, like there’d been in her sister’s that morning.
Except it was a lot sweeter.
Still.
“Now you need to explain ‘your deal,’” he demanded.
The wonder started edging out with the panic beginning to edge back in.
“It’s just that it was you that made that decree and like I said, sometimes I need space to sort things out,” she explained.
“So you think you not talking to me about this, sitting on it, stewing on it, would have ended up all good?”
“Yes,” she replied immediately.
That was completely implausible.
“You’re telling me you’d get there on your own,” he said with clear skepticism.
“I’m telling you I’d eventually have talked to you about it when I was ready.”
“You sure about that?” he pushed.
“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”
“Babe, women stew.”
“It’s not stewing, it’s sorting.”
“Different words, same meaning,” he returned.
“That’s not true.”
“So I know something’s on your mind and I gotta keep my mouth shut, knowing that something is bothering you, not knowing what that is, or how that could affect me, us, and wait on you to give it to me?”
“That doesn’t make it sound too good,” she murmured.
“That’s because it’s not, Eliza.”
“I’m not like that.”
“You just snapped at me.”
“You were being pushy.”
“So we could get through it and fucking enjoy a fucking TV show without anything weighing heavy on either of us.”
“I’m not like that,” she shot back. “I do talk about it. I always get it out in the end and it turns out okay when I do.”
“And you can assure me of that,” he stated.
“Of course.”
“You’re sure,” he pushed.
“Yes!”
She was snapping again, her face screwing up.
It was cute.
But he still didn’t buy it.
“And what if the sorting doesn’t go my way and I’ve had no say in that?” he asked.
“It’ll go your way,” she answered sharply.
“Right.”
“Right,” she bit out.
“Now I’m meant to believe that?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes!” she snapped again.
“How?” he pressed.
“Because I’m falling for you!”
Johnny went still.
Izzy did not.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m not stupid. I’m not going to mess that up by being upset about something and letting it fester and get twisted before I talk to you about it. I mean . . . yeesh.”
Yeesh?
He had no time to get into the utter adorableness of “yeesh.”
He shifted toward her, turning to his side, sliding down, hooking an arm around her waist and hauling her up against him.
Then he kissed her.
At first, he rolled on his back, pulling her on top of him, wanting her weight on him, wanting her anchoring him to his bed.
Then she whimpered in his mouth in that way he always felt in his dick and he rolled them again, Johnny on top of her, giving her as much of his weight as he thought she could take, pressing her into the bed like she could make a dent in it that would never go away.
The kiss started deep and wild and it kept going in that direction as they tore at each other’s clothes, devoured each other’s flesh any way they could get at it.
By the time he got his mouth between her legs, she was so wet and Johnny was just as ready for her, all he could do was suck her clit hard before surging over her, hand to his cock, guiding the way, finding her and sliding right in.
“Johnny,” she breathed when she was full of him.
He thrust, staring at this Izzy, his wild one, his sex kitten, the pink in her cheeks, the haze in her eyes, the swelling in her lips.
She lifted her arms above her head, cocked her knees and let her legs fall wide to the side . . .
Fuck.
His.
Open for him. Her hips undulating to meet his thrusts. Her body jolting when she took them. Her hair spread all over his bed. Her body his to do anything he wanted.
She trusted him that completely.
And no one else.
She’d never given that to anyone else.
But he had that from the beginning.
He made a noise that he made only for her and pulled out, shifted aside, whipped her to her belly and moved right back in. Hitching one leg, forcing hers up with it, gliding his hands up the outsides of her arms, keeping them straight above her head, wrapping his fingers around her forearms, watching her, one cheek pressed to his comforter, swollen lips parted, breaths coming fast, face flushed, he drove back in, pounding her into his bed.
Connected to her.
Covering her.
Giving her what was in her face at the same time he was her shield against the shit of life, the blanket to keep her warm, the shelter to keep her safe.
That was his to know, to give, to share with her later when she wasn’t taking his cock.
But her head arched back, she pressed her temple tight to his jaw and whispered a trembling, “Johnny.”
And he knew she knew.
He knew he didn’t have to say a word.
But he did have to say something else.
He slid a hand down the soft skin of her arm, her side, over her waist and hip and then in.
He touched her clit, pressed, rolled, she gasped and he said, “I’m falling for you too,” in her ear.
She cried out, her pussy rippling tight around his cock, her body shuddering under his, her ass pressing hard to his groin. It was too much, too good, he couldn’t ride her through her orgasm so he shoved his face in her neck, drove deep and shot inside his Izzy, groaning against her skin.
When he came out of where Izzy took him and back into the room, he pushed his face harder into her neck and kept her leg hitched as he fucked her gentle, deliberate, memorizing every inch of her inside, over and over slipping his cock out of her silky wet until she only had the tip and then sinking it slowly back in.
He felt her breath in his hair, the ease of her soft body under his. He slid his hand from between her legs and up to cup her breast.
He heard her hand glide over the comforter and press in to cover his.
Finally, Johnny buried himself inside her and stayed there, tracing the line of her neck with his lips.
Her body twitched and her head moved to the side like she wanted to squeeze him out.
He started to pull away but she said softly, but urgently, “Don’t. It just tickles. Your beard. But I like it.”
He retraced his line at her neck.
She shivered under him.
And it was then he knew.
This was it.
This was all he was ever going to have.
Izzy.
Her body. Her pussy. Her hair. Her neck. Her breasts. Her scent. Her taste.
Her belly would swell with the babies he’d plant there.
Her skin would wrinkle.
Her hair would gray.
He would mourn her when she was gone and there wouldn’t be another for him.
Or he would leave this earth knowing she’d do the same.
That was it.
The rest of his life.
Simple.
And unbelievably fucking beautiful.
He’d finished taking the plunge and it ended up being him doing it fucking Izzy wild in his bed.
But he thought that was fitting considering that was how it started.
He nipped her earlobe, kissed it and asked quietly there, “You wanna clean up?”
She spoke no words, just nodded.
He kissed her neck. Her shoulder. Slid out and rolled her around to gather her to him and take her mouth in a deep kiss.
When he finished it, she looked into his eyes, hers blinked lazily, and when she opened them again, they were smiling.
“Be back,” she whispered.
He nodded.
She pulled away and he watched her move around naked, searching the floor.
She found what he knew she was looking for when she bent to pick up his tee, straightened and moved toward the hall, pulling it on over her head.
She didn’t bother with panties.
Ranger followed her to the bathroom.
Johnny grinned.
They’d left Dempsey and Swirl with Addie and Brooks because Izzy wanted them there for her sister’s protection.
So now it was just Ranger.
And it was not lost on Johnny that even in his absence Ranger had always been his dog. It didn’t seem he mourned or was even confused about Shandra not in his life anymore.
He was just home.
That said, being all Johnny’s, his dog hadn’t bonded with Izzy. He liked the attention she gave him when she gave it. He was a dog. That happened.
But he’d never followed her anywhere when he’d be leaving Johnny behind.
Now he was in the bathroom with Johnny’s woman.
Still grinning, Johnny angled out of bed, found his shorts, his jeans, tugged them on and then went to Izzy’s wineglass.
He nabbed it, took it to the kitchen, got the bottle out of the fridge, yanked out the cork he’d wedged in and refilled it.
He got himself another beer, and when he moved back to the bed, he set her glass on his nightstand with his bottle.
He was just stretching back out in the bed when she and Ranger returned.
She came right to his side. Crawled over him, set her hip beside his, and collapsed onto him, curled close.
He slid a hand over her hip, hiked up his tee, and cupped her bare ass as he found the remote and hit play on the TV.
Ranger dropped his jaw to the side of the bed.
Johnny threw the remote on the nightstand, reached out his other hand and rubbed behind his dog’s ears.
In a time in the program where it didn’t seem she would miss too much action, he murmured, “You need space, baby, take it.”
She pushed farther into him, twisted her neck and kissed his chest then rested her cheek there again and murmured back, “Thank you, honey.”
“You have that, feel safe in it,” he told her. “But just to say, you need to talk shit out, even if you’re pissed at me and we got something to work through, hit me with it. I’m here. I’ll listen. If you’re talking to me, snapping at me or yelling at me. I’ll listen. And we’ll get to the other side.”
To that, she didn’t kiss him.
She turned her head and nuzzled her face against his skin like a sleepy cat or a newborn baby.
Johnny’s chest constricted and only did it more when she settled with her cheek back to his chest and whispered, “Okay, häschen.”
She remembered.
She remembered what his grandmother called him.
And she gave him that back.
He was staring at the TV and not seeing a thing, just trying to remember how to breathe.
When Ranger licked his wrist it came back to him and Johnny murmured, “Right, boy. Down.”
Without delay, Ranger slid with a dog groan down the side of the bed and disappeared.
“Want your wine?” Johnny asked Iz.
“In a sec,” she answered.
He started tracing patterns on her hip and the cheek of her ass.
She sighed and curled in closer.
This was more like it.
Johnny smiled at the TV.
Then he watched a great program cuddled in bed with his woman.