Chapter 5
On the inside, Cat felt wounded and numb all at once, as she turned her back on Talon and left. What in the world was going on with him? His character had changed so much in a short period of time. He was no longer the man she had fallen in love with. This Talon tried to control her life and to make decisions for her. She had tried to explain to him that she needed Shazuul – differently to how she needed him, but not any less. Every step that took her further away from Talon sounded so final. Her heart was breaking. She hoped in vain that he would stop her, or hurry after her, but nothing happened. He just stood there and watched her go back to Shazuul.
Was that it between her and Talon? The lump in her throat got so big that she couldn’t swallow it anymore. Maybe she should go back and try to explain everything to him again? But no… as long as he was in this state, there was no reasoning with him. On the other hand, did the things that stood between them now even require common sense and a clear mind?
She saw Shazuul, who had thrown off his blankets and was looking at her expectantly. The sight of him robbed her of the last of her strength. It had kept her upright during the inexplicable confrontation with Talon, but now it was gone. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t stay here, near Talon. Definitely not. Not until he could see that he had no reason to mistrust Shazuul. If only Talon could trust her, just once! Why was that so hard? Was it because she was his wife? No, she thought, that wasn’t it. She remembered the way he had looked at her, back then, when she had told him about her gift. He had been so non-judgemental. Why had he changed so much? If the result of him creating the bond between them was that he started acting like a brainless and possessive Neanderthal, then she could and would gladly do without him. She would need to find a way to break the bond. She wouldn’t be able to, as long as she was near him.
“We need to get out of here,” she said to Shazuul, expecting him to welcome the news with gladness. Instead, he tilted his head to the side and his little eyes looked at her in reprimand. “What?” she snapped, reacting to the unspoken accusation. “I will never let anyone tell me how to live my life, not even the man I love. Especially not the man I love.”
The silence that followed was strangely meaningful. Cat was irritated for a few seconds by the amused sparkle in the Sethari’s eyes, until she understood why he was so amused. “Damn it all,” she cried, “I cannot believe that I really said that. Fine. You are right. I love him.” That seemed to satisfy him, but not quite. “What else?” Cat sighed softly and look at him quizzically.
“Talon not himself,” Shazuul said haltingly.
“I know,” Cat said and made a face. “He thinks the air here is making him emotional. I think it’s more likely that the bond between us has clouded his judgment.”
“Not everything,” Shazuul said. For the love of God, it really was difficult to understand what he was really trying to say in his short little sentences – if you could even call them that. If it weren’t so exhausting to communicate with him in her thoughts, she would limit herself to that mode of communication.
“Are you trying to say that there is something else that has changed him? How do you know?” Cat’s heart started to race as she wondered what it could be. Shazuul said nothing. He seemed to be searching for the right words. He made an impatient gesture with his snout at her head, and she felt him knocking at the door – even though his request to enter was more like a fist banging on a closed door. She shrugged. “Fine, but just for a moment. You do realize that it really tires me out when you walk around in my brain, right?” He nodded, and before she could open herself all the way, he was inside her head.
Cat noticed the change right away. He had seemed strong to her when he had forced her to come to him out in the snowstorm, but that was nothing compared to the mental power that was in him now. He was practically vibrating with strength and energy, an energy that seemed strangely familiar to her. Then she understood, and her knees went soft. She could feel the small amount of energy that Shazuul had taken from her earlier. There were so many things she didn’t know - things nobody had told her. Or maybe these were things even her former colleagues from the Mind Reader Academy didn’t have a clue about? Shazuul seemed to feel that the overflowing power that was emanating from him was too much for her, because he dampened this… how could she describe it… vibrating glow that surrounded his thoughts a little.
Cat could feel that he wanted to show her something, and nodded. In a flow of feelings and images and smells and sounds, he sent her his memories from the time when he had been in Talon’s head. Cat became dizzy. This was overwhelmingly intense, as if Shazuul experienced the world with senses that were a thousand times more sensitive and receptive than her own. It was hard for her to not lose herself in the many sensations that Shazuul experienced when he jumped into someone else’s head. She wondered if this had anything to do with the way in which he took in nutrition. Then, as if Shazuul realized what was happening to her, she felt a slight pull at her attention, as if he were telling her to concentrate. With a sigh of regret, Cat turned away from what was coming at her, and focused on what Shazuul wanted to show her. And there it was, hardly noticeable, but present, nonetheless. Another consciousness. One that had no reason to be in Talon’s head. She held her breath and tried to see if she could recognize the person’s signature. Unfortunately, since she was seeing the memory from Shazuul’s vantage point, she was unable to recognize who it was. Every time she thought she recognized something, the feeling went away again. Then, just as quickly as he had jumped into her head, Shazuul said goodbye and she was alone again.
Strange. She had really thought that she was alone. Not just “herself again” but actually alone, like being lonely and deserted. On top of that, Cat realized with surprise that she didn’t feel weakened. Quite the opposite, because Shazuul had given her back some of the energy that he had taken from her earlier. This surprising realization would have to wait until later. Right now, the main thing was finding out who had dug into Talon’s head and why.
Cat pointed to the blankets, and Shazuul scooted over, so she could slip in next to him. “You don’t know who it was, do you?” Actually, the question wasn’t necessary, because he had already showed her the answer, so she wasn’t surprised when he shook his head. “But you think someone is influencing him?”
“Definitely,” Shazuul responded and looked at her intently. “Someone like you.”
Cat noticed that the color was draining from her face. Shazuul touched her carefully with his snout, trying in an attempt to calm her down, but also in question. “Mind Reader?”
“You know them?” It shouldn’t have surprised Cat that the Sethari knew her former colleagues, since his own abilities were so well developed, and because he had never let her out of his sight. Shazuul nodded and managed somehow to attach an expression of reluctance to that nod, but then he shook his head.
“Shazuul and Mind Readers old acquaintances,” he said. The phrase “old acquaintances” sounded like a mantra he had repeated over and over. “This here... different. Hard to grasp. Fast. Faster than Shazuul.”
“Slow down,” Cat begged her new friend. “Someone snuck into Talon’s head. Someone who is quicker and better than you.” Shazuul was the best and fastest mind traveler she had ever met. So, if the person inside Talon’s head was stronger than him, then there was little hope of chasing him or her out of Talon’s head by force, but she had not arrived at all of her conclusions yet. “And this someone is influencing Talon in a way that he – well, what? Fights with me and separates from me? That he reacts more emotionally than usual?” Shazuul nodded, but his nod carried a question with it. How was he able to express so much with one gesture? “I think someone is trying to break us up. The only question is if that person cares about me or Talon.”
Talking with Shazuul had a near meditative quality to it. The Sethari’s presence definitely helped her think more clearly.
“There are the Krak, who want to take their revenge on Talon’s king.” She held up one finger. “Then there are my former colleagues, the Mind Readers. They have it out for me.” Two fingers. She thought for a bit. “Tell me… why did you show up at exactly that moment, even though you had stayed in the background for all those years?” A hint of mistrust went through her head. That really was a strange coincidence.
“Cat fine on her own,” he said in fragments. “Long time. Not now. Now Shazuul helps. The Krak – dangerous. Not trust. Talon’s king – worse. Much worse.”
“How do you know all of that?” Cat secretly thought that it was a little creepy how much the Sethari knew.
“Shazuul good observer,” the Sethari said proudly. “But now Talon. Important. Not separate.” Cat didn’t realize how relieved she was until he was done speaking. She had made a spur-of-the-moment decision, had fought with her beloved and had provoked him – and now they would make up again. It was just strange that she herself hadn’t reached that conclusion. It had taken Shazuul to show her the right path.
“One problem,” the Sethari interrupted her thoughts. Cat’s mood had improved dramatically at the thought of making up with her beloved, but now it was sinking to an almost new low. Not another problem, she prayed in the depths of her soul. The weight resting on her shoulders right now was more than enough.
“Talon no trust. Talon not alone.”
Okay, that was one thing she hadn’t thought of. Whoever the person was who had nested in Talon’s head, they came and went there as they pleased. Cat didn’t know if that person was always there, or… wait a minute. She closed her eyes and tried to bring her racing thoughts to order. Other than the Mind Readers, who were limited to reading someone else’s thoughts, and the mind travelers who could cover long distances to the “object” in a split second, there were also the mind twisters. If mind travelers were unusual, then you could say that mind twisters were extremely rare among those who could read thoughts. Cat had never had a deep relationship with those whom she had met, and for good reason. Most of them were twisted creatures who entertained themselves with creating the most perverse illusions in the heads of the innocent. Hadn’t she herself thought about mind twisters the first time she had been in Shazuul’s head? If her beloved really was under the influence of a true mind twister, then they needed to be extremely careful. Talon would not be able to tell the difference between reality and an illusion, or between his own perceptions and foreign, implanted feelings.
The next thought shocked her. Talon’s feelings for her – were they even real, or had someone forced feelings of love for her on him? She cursed softly for never having spent much time learning more about the mind twisters. Cat had always been satisfied knowing that she could recognize the dark work of a mind twister, without having to ask about their mechanisms or procedures. That would have to change now.
“What do you suggest? Is there a way for us to chase the stranger out?” She grimaced. “I know it sounds a lot like an exorcism, but you know what I mean.” And that was true. It seemed like Shazuul didn’t need to read her thoughts to know what was going on inside her.
“Better not. Wait for him to show himself.” This was the most complete sentence she had heard coming out of his mouth yet. She grinned.
“It won’t be easy,” she added. “Talon hates you, or should I say: The mind twister in him hates you. He barely has himself under control, and if he really wants to kill you, he will make it happen, sooner or later.” Shazuul nodded, looking exceptionally unhappy.
“Shazuul leave. Not far. Always here. Talon and the other…” he searched for the right words.
I understand. You want to give him a false sense of security until we know what his plans are, and then we move in. The only question is how we will know when the time is right, and then there are the Krak.” She thought about it. “Can you communicate with me, even from a certain distance?” Shazuul’s answer consisted of a confident smile. It took a lot of the burden off Cat. A plan started to emerge in her head. “This is what we will do. I will tell Talon about the Krak and that we need to go into the city, because we will be able to make contact with his king more easily there. In the end, we want to lure him to Earth, so he will receive his just punishment, right?” She could still see the images of the Krak woman dying. They still echoed inside of her and prevented her from feeling any sympathy for Ferthoris. “That should give us enough time to find out who the mind twister is and what he wants. At the same time, I will be keeping my promise to the Krak.” She remembered that Shazuul had warned her about the fish creature, so she looked at him. “You think they are up to something else, don’t you?”
“Be careful. Stay vigilant.” That was all that Shazuul said. Then he got up, shook the warm blankets from himself and looked at her one last time. Shazuul always there. Not forget.”
A lump started to form in her throat, and Cat swallowed. “I won’t forget, don’t worry. You, neither.” Was she seeing things, or had a treacherous look just flashed in Shazuul’s eyes. Before she could figure it if she had been mistaken, however, he turned around abruptly and left the room. The sound of the library door falling shut echoed in her head for a long time.
Cat was alone once more.