Looking small and rather defenceless, Avril huddled in one of the leather chairs in Varme, clutching her cup of coffee. She’d only just stopped crying which seemed to frighten her as much as it surprised me. Super-princesses like Avril didn’t cry proper tears or dissolve into heart-breaking sobs or so I’d assumed.
Ben beat a hasty retreat and had gone back to the hotel to update everyone else while Eva had once again swooped in and took us around the corner where to my horror she unlocked the door to the coffee shop. Bless her, she’d shut up shop to come and rescue us.
‘I’m s-sorry.’ Avril sniffed. Without her usual confident attitude, she seemed like an uncertain teenager.
‘Don’t worry,’ said Eva, leaning over and patting her hand. ‘You need a good cry, I think.’
‘I-I never c-cry.’ As soon as she said it, she dissolved into fresh sobs.
Eva and I exchanged quick frowns and then she moved her chair next to Avril’s and pulled her close in a hug. I sat watching, feeling a little awkward at witnessing her vulnerability.
Eventually her sobs subsided and she wiped at her face now streaked with mascara.
‘Oh God, what must I look like.’ Eva jumped up and grabbed a handful of napkins which Avril took, wiping her eyes with sudden angry strokes. ‘I’m a mess.’
‘Avril, you could never look a mess,’ I said gently, ignoring the gothic smears marbling her face. With her high-cheek bone structure and creamy skin she still managed to look beautiful if a little dishevelled. If I’d had a crying jag like that, I’d be piggy eyed and snotty.
‘I meant inside.’
‘You’re away from home. You’ve had a nasty shock. Of course, you’re all over the place.’ Eva handed her another napkin.
‘That’s not it. It’s not the accident. I’m a fraud, you know.’
‘I’m sure you aren’t. We all get upset.’ Eva’s soothing words made Avril screw up her face in protest.
‘No, seriously. I am. My marriage is in a mess.’ She ducked her head as if ashamed of her confession, picking at the strap on her handbag which she clutched to her chest like some kind of shield. ‘Christopher, my husband, isn’t interested any more. I know he isn’t.’ Her petulant declaration sounded as if she were daring us to contradict her.
‘He avoids me as much as possible. I know he hates spending time with me.’ Her face crumpled again as she balled the napkin in her hand.
Eva’s lips pursed. ‘Now. Is that what you know or what you think?’
With a shrug, Avril looked a little defiant as if she wasn’t used to having her view of the world challenged. ‘I’m a disappointment to him.’
‘How? You’re gorgeous, successful,’ I offered immediately worried that she might think if that was all I had to say, I was suggesting she was shallow. I needn’t have worried.
Avril lifted a disdainful eyebrow and looked directly at me. ‘And high-maintenance.’
I blushed and opened my mouth to try to deny it.
‘It’s alright, you might not have said it but most people think it. They’re right, I am.’
‘Yes,’ interrupted Eva, ‘but surely your husband knew that before you were married. Didn’t he love you as you were? Has that changed?’
With a self-deprecating half-laugh Avril’s mouth turned down. ‘It used to amuse him. Before we were married, he’d tease me about it but he said he loved that I knew what I wanted and didn’t play games. But now he’s bored with it. I know he is!’ She snatched up her coffee.
‘Has he said that?’
‘No, but I can tell,’ she mumbled from behind her cup.
‘How?’ persisted Eva, to Avril’s irritation. I realised she was expecting us to take her word for it.
‘Well …’ she wrinkled her face in thought, ‘we … we used to sit together after dinner and talk. Now it’s as if he can’t eat quickly enough so that he can get back to his study. He shuts the door. And then comes to bed when he thinks I’m asleep. Although I never am.’
‘Have you told him how you feel?’
‘I shouldn’t have to,’ Avril’s pout was back. ‘He should know.’
I bit back a smile quite happy to let Eva continue her careful probing. There was bugger all I could contribute.
‘What? Like you know that he’s bored with you?’ Eva’s voice held a sharp snap, tough love breaking through, which had both Avril and I straightening up in our seats.
‘But he is bored with me.’ There was a slight touch of the defensive in her mutinous words.
‘What’s he doing in the study? Instead of being with you?’
‘He runs his own business. I don’t quite understand what he does. Computer stuff. We’re very different. He doesn’t get the whole media thing or how important my job is.’
‘And is his job not important?’
Avril looked as if this was a complete revelation.
‘Well of course but …’
‘So you haven’t asked him about his work?’ Eva’s voice held the barest touch of teasing.
‘No.’ Avril’s voice was a touch sulky. ‘Computing stuff is boring.’
‘Not to him,’ suggested Eva.
Avril tossed her hair over her shoulder. ‘I guess not.’
‘When was the last time you took an interest in him? What he does? You said you used to bake for him? Coffee and walnut cake.’
Avril’s mouth tightened. ‘I don’t have time these days.’
‘Maybe you need to make time. Maybe you need to show him that you still care.’
‘I do still care.’
‘Do you tell him?’
‘It’s rather difficult when he’s tied to his computer.’
‘So how does he know? What if he’s thinking that you’re bored with him? That you don’t care because you don’t bake for him, like you used to?’
‘That’s ridicu …’ her voice petered out, her face crumpling with confusion. ‘Oh.’
‘It doesn’t sound as if the two of you are communicating very well. Sometimes someone has to take the first step to change things. Do you want your marriage to succeed?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘Why?’ Eva’s blunt cut to the chase question had Avril’s eyes flashing.
‘Because I love him.’
Eva leaned back in her chair with the merest hint of a smug smile on her face. ‘More than your job?’
Avril nodded.
‘Then perhaps you need to show him. Make him that coffee and walnut cake he used to love so much.’
Avril dropped her head in her hands. ‘Oh God, you’re right. I’m such an evil bitch. It’s all about me. I am high-maintenance but I love him. I’ve been so obsessed with how important my job is, I’ve stopped listening to him. Stopped making time for him. When we first got together, we had a golden rule. No talking about work for the first hour I came in. But we kind of lost sight of that. Oh God, it’s me. It’s all my fault. I’m the one driving him away. I’ve neglected him.’
Eva held up her hand. ‘Enough.’
Avril’s lips twitched. ‘I’m being a drama queen again, aren’t I?’
With a smile, Eva lifted her shoulders neither denying nor agreeing.
‘I’m going to call him. Tell him about the accident. Make him a cake when I get home.’