Chapter Eighteen - Braden

 

I'm fucked. Genuinely fucked.

Maddie's hand trailing down my stomach equaled an instant, rock hard, raging hard on. My dick standing to attention so fast it could well have been doing an army drill.

I curse the fact she's not like my usual girls. Usually, a suggestive smile and a wink is all that's needed. But no, I have to wine and fucking dine Maddie. I might as well serenade her under the fucking stars – and you know what? If I could sing, I damn well would.

Because I have to want what I can't have, all the time. And Maddie? Maddie is at the top of that list. Hell, she's at the top of every fucking list I own.

She is so damn untouchable, like a rare stone in a museum surrounded by laser lights. I feel like a ninja, dodging one more laser light daily and getting one step closer to worming my way into her heart.

But then, do I want her in love with me? The problem with this challenge is that it's not just a quick roll in the hay. I have to get to know her, I have to pretend to care about her – but when does pretending start becoming real?

I know her mom was killed. I know she's not close to her brother, that she loves her dad, and I also know that when she's in a bad mood her dirty mouth can rival mine on a good day. And that's sexy, on her.

Prim, proper Maddie going bad is the biggest fuckin' turn on I've ever had.

Shit.

I get up, slamming my bedroom door behind me. I can't stay in my room thinking about her. I practically run into Aston and Ryan at the bottom of the stairs and grab their arms, shoving them through the front door and round the side of the house.

“Dude? What the fuck?” Aston rubs his arms.

“You two.” I look between them. “Are driving me fucking crazy.”

“What?”

“This challenge. Do you know how hard it is to have that hot piece of ass rubbing up against me, knowing I can't drag her off to fuck her?” I resist the urge to slam my fist into the wall.

Ryan smirks. “You agreed, bro. I was only kidding, but then you agreed. You can't back out now. She's wrapped around your little finger.”

“Yeah, and that's the problem.” I look at him pointedly. “I don't want her wrapped around my little finger. I want her wrapped round my fucking dick.”

“So just drag her off to bed,” Aston suggests. “You two were getting' pretty cozy last night, if you get what I mean.”

“It hasn't even been two weeks, man.” I shake my head. “I can't even consider that until next week. She's attracted to me, and she's falling, but she's not fallen. She won't do it until she's full on in love with me. It doesn't help that girls I can't even remember keep coming up and asking me for another go.”

Both guys burst out laughing.

“Dude, you're joking, right?” Aston leans against the wall.

“I fuckin' wish.” I rub my forehead. “It's like, they see me with my fake girlfriend and all of a sudden I'm the sexiest thing on this damn campus.”

“I bet that isn't going down well,” Ryan muses. “With Maddie, that is. I bet you're loving it.”

“Actually, I fuckin' hate it.”

“You're joking? You actually hate it?”

“It's about as enjoyable as a hole in the head. That's how much I hate it. It doesn't help with the trust thing at all – especially since I can't remember them.”

Aston chuckles. “Send 'em my way next time. There's always space in my bed.”

“I'm sure there is,” I reply dryly. “What do I do about Maddie, though? She's driving me mad. She's like a walking sex advert to my brain.”

“Fuck her,” Ryan says simply. “You fuck her, get her out of your system. Just sooner than you already planned.”

 

~

 

Meggy's blonde hair bounces as she sits on my bed. “So, you and Maddie.”

“What about us?” I glance at her.

“You look pretty into her.”

Do I? “That's 'cause I am, Meggy.”

“Really, Bray? Because I know how well you can act. You can't hide anything from me.”

And that's the fucking problem. “I'm not acting. I like her.”

“Or do you like the sex you could get out of it?”

Seriously? “Meggy.”

“Bray.”

I look at her, and she raises her eyebrows. “I like her, I do. I mean, what's not to like?”

She leans back against the wall and crosses her arms across her chest. Her eyes bore into me, and I squirm slightly under her intense scrutiny. Shit. Why can she do this to me? How does she do it?

“I love you, Bray. You're like my brother, but if you're fucking her about, I will castrate you and hang your balls as a wind chime in the frat house front room window.” Ouch. I wince.

“I'm not fucking her around.” Much.

“Braden William Carter,” she snaps. “I mean it. I can read you like a book, and what you say and what you mean are two different things. But y'know what? What you mean and what you think are two different things, too.”

“Please, Meggy,” I say sarcastically. “Enlighten me on what I say, what I mean, and what I think.”

“What you say is that you want to be with her. What you mean is you want to sleep with her, and what you think is letting yourself feel for her what you do, in your heart, means you're a pussy.”

“What do you mean, letting myself feel something for her? I just admitted I like her.”

“Yes, Braden,” she says wryly. “But that's not what you mean. I'm not stupid. You're on some kick here with Maddie, and while it's not my business, I care about both of you. Unless you pull your brain from your dick, you're gonna end up hurt. Both of you will. Sex isn't everything.”

“I'm not in it for the sex.” I hate lying to her, but it has to be done.

“I call bullshit on that and every other lame-ass excuse you have stored in your brain, whichever part of your body it's currently residing in.” She jumps off the bed, crosses the room, and jabs a finger in my chest. “You, need to stop thinking you're the next Hugh Hefner and start thinking about how you actually feel. Your friends don't control you, Bray.”

“You just say that 'cause you think they're assholes.” I smirk.

“That's because they are assholes. Don't let them make you think that you should spend the next four years of your life at this college fucking everything with a pulse, because while you're busy getting it on, your future could be right in your line of sight. And y'know what else? Unless you open your eyes, you'll miss your future. She'll come and go so fast you'll blink, and you'll miss it.” She exhales and moves to the door. “Decide if Maddie is something with a pulse, or something more than that. She's been through too much to deal with your man-whore bullshit. Sit back and ask yourself what she is, not Tweedledick one and Tweedledick two.” She yanks the door open and slams it behind her.

“Fuck off,” I mutter, grabbing a pillow from the bed and chucking it at the closed door. “Fucking future. Bullshit.”

I'm almost nineteen. Who the fuck finds their future at this age?