SLOAN

I have no idea what I am doing right now. Ever since I choked that bastard in the on-call room last month, my relationship with Ava has progressed into something more. I have no idea how to classify what we are doing together. This is all new for me. The last time I took a woman on an actual date was back in medical school. Now, I’m sitting in the parking garage with Ava, wondering if this is a good idea. Somehow, I am at ease when Ava is around, a level of comfort I have not felt in years.

I reach across the center console to touch her face and brush a strand of loose hair behind her ear. Ava is so gorgeous and innocent. Too bad I have ruined her, turned her into my little whore. But she’s become so much more to me. The sex is only a perk of our relationship.

She turns to look at me, nervous and biting down on her bottom lip.

I lean in closer and breathe against her lips. “What are you doing to me, woman? I never thought much of relationships until I met you.”

“It’s been close to two months since we met. I never thought you would be anything to me other than a one-night stand. This terrifies me. I thought surgery would, but I was wrong because you scare me to death.”

“You have no reason to be afraid.” I flash a wicked smile, rubbing her chin with my thumb. “I will take care of you.”

She covers my hand with hers and kisses my skin, sending chills down my spine. “I want you, Sloan, but what if we get caught and lose our jobs?”

“You leave the worrying to me, okay?”

She slides her hand onto my thigh and gives it a squeeze. “It’s hard not to worry. I love working at the hospital. We have both busted our asses to get to where we are in our careers. I don’t want to see you lose your job and me get thrown out of the residency program. My dad would kill me. Everything I have worked so hard to achieve would all have been for nothing.”

“We can make this work,” I say to reassure her, even though I am not convinced this won’t end badly for both of us. “I want you in my life as more than just a girl I meet in the on-call room. This is not just about sex for me. Not anymore. It hasn’t been for a while now.”

“Me either,” she whispers against my hand. “I really like you, Sloan. Hell, I more than like you. This was supposed to be a one-night stand, but our relationship has become so much more to me. I don’t want to lose you over something as stupid as hospital rules.”

“And you won’t,” I say against her lips.

She shudders from my breath and leans in to give me a quick kiss. “I am starting to care about you, Sloan. You’re more than just my boss and my lover.”

“I only have one more month as the residency director and your teacher. It will all work itself out. Give it time. No one knows about us but Dr. Carlyle, right?”

She nods. “Just Stacey. She would never tell anyone.” Ava sinks into the leather and bites her cheek. “What if this doesn’t work out between us? Aren’t you afraid of what will happen?”

“I have no idea what will happen next week, let alone a month from now. Let’s take this one day at a time. I’d like to start with dinners, maybe a movie, if you want.”

She takes my hand in hers and squeezes. “I’ve seen doctors and nurses lose their jobs over what we are doing. The on-call room is supposed to be for breaks and sleeping—not for sex.”

“We’ll have to stop having sex at the hospital and save it for when we’re at my place.”

“What about my apartment?”

I take a second to contemplate her question.

“It’s one thing for Dr. Carlyle to know we are together, but it’s another for her to be on the other side of the wall when I’m fucking you.”

She leans over the shifter to rub my inner thigh. “Good point.”

Grabbing her hand, I hold it over my growing erection. She studies my face with those big, blue eyes that place me under her spell.

“I need your help with this,” I say, rubbing her hand over my cock.

She nods, smiling with her eyes.

I unzip my pants and fist my cock in my hand. Ava’s mouth widens.

“I want your lips wrapped around my cock.”

She does as I command, and like a good girl, she listens. Now, she’s all mine. I thread my fingers through her hair as she sucks me off, taking me to that point of ecstasy.

After she’s done sucking my cock, she wipes her mouth, and I push up her skirt. “Take off your panties and get over here.” I hit the button on the side of my seat to move it back far enough for her to straddle me.

She glances around the vacant parking lot, searching for people, before she removes her panties and hops over the shifter and onto my lap. This side of the lot only has a few cars, and I have tinted windows. For as much as I paid for this car, I need privacy and the dark tint gives us exactly that.

“Stop worrying, beautiful,” I say, lifting a piece of hair out of her eyes to tuck it behind her ear. “No one will see us.” Then, I grab the back of her head so I can slip my tongue inside her mouth, holding onto her to deepen the kiss.

She grinds her soaking wet pussy against my cock, making me harder with each movement.

Breaking away from her lips, I whisper, “Are you still on the pill?”

“Yes,” she hisses, rubbing her clit along my sensitive skin. “Now, you’re the one who needs to stop worrying and fuck me already.”

“You’re too impatient.” I want to play with her a little while longer, but I want her just as bad as she wants me.

She positions herself onto my erection, coating my skin with her juices as she slides down, taking all of me at once. “Sloan,” she cries out. She usually calls me Doc during sex. I like the sound of my name on her lips, the sound being ripped from her throat with each orgasm I give her.

Ava closes her eyes as she holds onto my shoulders and rides me hard and fast, just the way I like it. Once she finally opens her eyes, I grip her hips tight, watching as she comes undone for me. I love seeing her this vulnerable yet in control.

For years, all I had cared about was my career. I never cared about having a life outside the hospital until I met Ava. Now, she’s all mine. I hope I never have to let her go. But how long can this last? She’s my intern. I’m her teacher. This cannot end well for either of us.

* * *

After the hostess seats us at a table in the corner of the second floor at Luciano’s, I scoot along the circular bench and sit in the middle of the massive booth next to Ava. I slide my arm across her shoulders, and she leans her head on my chest for a second, before picking up the menu.

“This place is nice,” Ava flips open the menu, studying it for a few seconds, before her eyes travel around the crowded restaurant to take in the scenery.

I brought her to Luciano’s because they have the best Italian food in the city, but also because they are all about exclusivity and privacy—two things that are worth a lot of money to me.

“You deserve the best, Ava. This is only the beginning of what is to come.”

She peeks up at me. “What if someone sees us here together?”

“No one can see us over here.” I take her hand in mine and rest it on my thigh, giving it a quick squeeze. “The closest person is on the other side of the balcony, and no one can see up here from the first floor. We have what I consider the best table in the house. Even if someone saw us together, I’m done hiding how I feel about you, Ava. You need to get that through your pretty little head and live in the moment with me.”

“What about the hospital? Are we going to tell them about us?”

I shake my head. “No, not yet, I’m still trying to figure a way around that.”

“What if we went to human resources and told them we are together before they find out on their own?”

I shrug against the booth, unsure of the answer myself. All week, I have contemplated how I would tell the hospital about our relationship without both of us being reprimanded.

“I guess we can consider it, but I’m not sure that will go over well. Give me a few more days to think it through before we make any decisions. “Tonight,” I say, threading my fingers between hers, “I want to enjoy a meal with you, and then eat your pussy for dessert.”

She blushes, and it’s adorable. Even after all the sneaking off to have sex in public places, Ava still has the same innocence about her I saw the night we met. “Now, you’re just trying to get me wet, aren’t you? Haven’t you had enough of me already?”

“Nope, I can never get enough of you. It’s been that way from the start.” I smile at her, her expression mirroring mine. “You’re beautiful, smart, and everything I have been waiting for in a woman. And I found you on a dating app, of all places.”

She blushes. “You’re making me a better doctor. Sometimes, I wonder if you let me scrub in on my first day because we had sex, or if it was because I had earned it. I don’t want the lines to become too blurred when it comes to work and our relationship. I want to earn the surgeries I get.”

“You earned it,” I say, almost annoyed that she would even think I would allow her to perform surgery on a real, live human being just because we had sex. “Don’t ever doubt that you are a good doctor. In fact, you are the best in your class. So get that shit out of your head.”

“I love how you always know the right things to say,” she mutters with a dreamy look in her glassy blue eyes. “I love everything about you, Sloan.”

“No more Doc?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I can’t possibly call the man I am falling in love with Doc.”

Her words somewhat take me by surprise, though I have been asking myself ever since the donor dinner if what I feel for Ava is love. It sure as hell is more than lust. “Do you mean that? You love me?”

She nods. “Is that crazy?”

“No,” I say, leaning in to her mouth. “Because I am falling crazy in love with you, too. I never expected to find love, because that would mean caring about someone more than I do my job, but I found it with you, Ava.”

“I love you, too, Sloan, but I’d like to know more about you. You keep me at a distance from your personal life.”

I sit up straight and press my body into hers, cradling her with my warmth. “I work more than anything. I have no life anymore.”

“I’m serious. I would like to know more about you. Why did you want to become a doctor? What led you to become the man you are today?”

“Is that all you want to know?”

“Let’s start with some of the basics, I guess. There’s one question I would love to know the answer to more than anything. Why did you have rules about one-night stands when we met?”

I sigh at her words. “So I didn’t get hurt again.”

“Again?” She narrows her eyes at me, awaiting a response.

“Yep, again. I dated this girl in medical school who was pretty much my world. Other than medicine, there wasn’t much I loved more than her.”

Ava sinks further into the leather seat and peeks over at me with curious eyes. “What happened?”

“She was offered a surgical residency at UCLA. I got one at Penn General. For a while, we tried to make it work long distance. Or at least I tried. She ended up cheating on me with an attending. They got married a few years ago.”

Ava runs her fingers over my skin, stroking the top of my hand. “My mom always says that things happen for a reason. That shitty experience led you to me.”

I grin so wide my jaw hurts. “I wouldn’t change meeting you for anything. She wasn’t right for me. It took me much longer to see that. You’re exactly what I want—beautiful, smart, a brilliant surgeon.”

“You already know why I wanted to become a doctor. I had no choice. My father raised me to become a surgeon. So what’s your story? Why did you choose this life? Every doctor has a reason they wanted to hold someone’s life in their hands.”

I consider her question for a second, taking far too long to answer, before she cocks an eyebrow at me. Even though I hate telling the story about my past, it’s a part of me she should understand. Unlike Ava’s story, mine is nothing but a series of fucked-up shit that guided me along the way. I’m lucky I made it this far.

Dredging up the past is one of my least favorite things and the reason why I always keep women at bay. Anytime a woman gets too close to me, they find out why I’m so broken and unwilling to let anyone into my life, and then it doesn’t work out. Work usually gets in the way, where with Ava we share the same love for the profession. Things are easier with Ava. She gets me in ways no else had in the past.

“Okay, but no judgment and no crying or pity parties. Got it?”

She holds up her pinky and says, “Promise.”

“I had a rocky upbringing. I grew up in a tough part of Philly with a dad who never remembered I was alive unless he wanted someone to yell at. He was a dick and a drunk. After my mom died from cancer, he fell apart. My mom wanted me to become a doctor. She said I was too smart, even as a child, to be anything other than a doctor. I was her doctor for a long time. When she got sick, I would take care of her. I would sit at her bedside for hours, taking her temperature and checking her heart rate with the toys she bought me. It was one of those medical bags with a plastic thermometer and stethoscope. Back then, I thought my toys could save her. I was too young to understand that saving a life took more than hope. So, I devoted my time to school and getting good grades, even though I was the biggest fuck up.”

“I’m so sorry, Sloan,” she mutters with sadness in her eyes.

“No pity,” I remind her.

“Right. Keep going. I want to hear it all.”

“You met some of my friends at The Sixth Floor. Nothing about them is legal, if you get what I’m trying to tell you without actually saying it. They do whatever it takes to get by, and for years, I did whatever was necessary right alongside them. I had no way to pay for college, other than the scholarships I got because of my grades. We were poor, but I guess not poor enough according to the state for me to get a completely free ride. They had no idea my dad spent all of his money on beer, vodka, and sports betting. He loved wasting an entire paycheck on the Eagles, who never won a fucking game he bet on.”

“What kind of things did you have to do?”

“Whatever I had to do. The tuition bills kept coming in, and I wasn’t about to end up like my friends. We sold drugs, handled bets for the bookie who lived around the corner from us, and pretty much anything else we could do to survive. My friends had it much worse than me. Even though my dad was a drunk, I was lucky he wasn’t the abusive kind. Instead, he would zone out and forget I even existed. It worked well for both of us. Having such a shitty father made me want to do something with my life, no matter what I had to do to get it. I knew from an early age that I never wanted to be like my old man.”

“That’s incredible that you were able to overcome so much to get where you are today,” Ava says. “Doesn’t that make you even more nervous about someone finding out about us? You already risked so much in your life to make your dreams come true. A scandal with a resident could ruin your career.”

More annoyed with myself than anyone, I grunt in frustration. “I guess I keep telling myself that no one will find out and that we can continue this way forever. I’m sorry, Ava. That is my fault. As the interim Residency Program Director, I’m supposed to ensure everyone on my staff is prepared to become a surgeon. Your training should have come first, and instead, I put my needs above yours. We need to change things when we get back to work. From now on, you will learn from me, instead of us sneaking around whenever we get the chance.”

“I understand, but you didn’t answer my question,” she says. “Aren’t you afraid to have everything you worked so hard to achieve disappear in the blink of an eye because of our inappropriate relationship?”

“The only thing inappropriate is the hospital’s stupid guidelines. Let me deal with them. I won’t lose my license to practice medicine over sleeping with an intern. We are both consenting adults. You are not receiving any preferential treatment from me, though I doubt some of your fellow interns will see it that way. I choose you because you are the best. Only the best is good enough for my patients. It has nothing to do with us.”

“It could damage your reputation if people were to find out. Having a bad rep in this business would be just as detrimental to your career.”

The waitress breaks up our conversation when she asks us what we want to order. I take charge and order chicken Parmesan, served family-style, for us along with two Caesar salads.

“Enough about me.” I pick up my glass and take a sip of wine. “This night is supposed to be about us, and this conversation is depressing. Let’s worry about the hospital when we cross that bridge. No matter what happens, you let me do the talking. I have a lot of pull at Penn Gen.”

“I will,” she promises. “And thank you for sharing so much about your past with me, Sloan. I feel like I understand you better already.”

The corners of my mouth turn up into a smile. “It feels good to talk to someone for a change. I’m so used to holding all of it inside.”

“You can always talk to me, Sloan.”

I kiss her on the forehead, and she stirs in my arms, looking up at me with a bright smile.

“And to think we never would have seen each other again if you weren’t my boss.” She tilts her head to the side and rests her cheek against my chest.

“Fate, I guess.”

“I’m glad I was the exception to your rule. Things could have gotten super awkward if you were a dick about it.”

I grab her hand and then bend down to kiss her neck, pinning her in place so that I can torture her, continuing to leave kisses along her skin.

“Keep that up, and you will have to meet me in the bathroom for a pre-dinner quickie,” she says, laughing.

“If that’s what you want,” I whisper against her neck, “I can make that a reality. Just say the word.”

She sucks in a deep breath when I place her hand on my erection and I slip my other hand beneath her skirt to find that her panties are so fucking wet. I consider bending her over the sink in the bathroom, or fucking her against the wall, like we did at Starbucks. But things are different now that Ava is my girlfriend.

We’re touching each other over our clothes when the waitress comes back with our salad, interrupting our under-the-table action. She clears her throat to announce her presence and sets the plates in front of us. Embarrassed, her face breaking out in red blotches, Ava avoids eye contact with the waitress and lifts her fork in her hand.

“I am starved.” I dig into my salad, staring at Ava the entire time. “But I’d much rather eat something else.”

She smiles so wide it reaches up to her bright blue eyes. “Let’s save that for dessert.”

I return her smile and shove the lettuce into my mouth, thinking about her lips and what I want to do with them, as I eat my food.