Chapter 4
Rosalie was down to her bra and panties in the dressing room, with Vanessa handing her things over the door. She was embarrassed that she had someone with her when she was clothes shopping, because she’d never had anyone besides her mother with her until now. Some of the outfit choices Rosalie couldn’t even bring herself to try on. She just picked them up between a thumb and a forefinger and moved them over to the discard pile that was rapidly growing on the chair. Some of those skirts barely covered her butt, and there was no way that she could walk around with her cheeks hanging out under her hemline. Maybe a change in wardrobe could help her, but this was not the way to go.
“Um, Vanessa? Can we get something a little more…” She broke off, not quite knowing how to phrase it. “Just with more material?” There was a silence on the other side of the door, and Rosalie winced. Had she already pushed her new friend away?
“Yeah, you got it. Hang on.” Vanessa’s voice sounded more than a little disappointed, and it made Rosalie want to leave. A bundle of clothes came over the top of the door again, and she sighed. Hopefully this batch had something in it that she would actually wear. A black leather skirt caught her attention instantly. Judging by the other skirts Vanessa had offered her, this one was actually of a decent length. Excited for the first time since they got into the store, she put it on. It went to mid-thigh, and she could actually pull it to almost her knees. She smiled. There. A compromise. Now for a shirt. A turquoise blob caught her attention, and she picked it up. It was a halter top, but it didn’t have too much cut out of it, just bare shoulders. Feeling better about her choices, she walked out of the dressing room with a confidence that she hadn’t felt before. Vanessa’s eyes lit up and she grinned, happily clapping her hands.
“That’s perfect! Wow! What a total transformation! I love it!” The praise made Rosalie blush, and she looked down at herself.
“I wouldn’t say it was perfect. She looks like a prostitute who hasn’t been out in the sun very often.” Rosalie’s head snapped up in anger. It was Eric. Mr. Blue Eyes himself. What the hell was he doing here? It was bad enough that Rosalie was showing off these new clothes in front of someone she hardly knew, but him? Rosalie ran back into the dressing room, almost slamming the door behind her. Her cheeks were red and burning with embarrassment. She heard a thud, and could only assume that Vanessa had punched him in the shoulder.
“What is wrong with you? She looked cute!” Rosalie maneuvered herself so she could peek out through the crack between the door and the wall. She had to balance precariously over the chair and massive pile of discards, doing her best not to press her face against the door so it wouldn’t make a noise and move. Eric rolled his eyes at her and shrugged off the blow.
“You can’t dress up a mouse and expect it to be anything more than a mouse. Sorry, that’s the truth.” His attitude was cold and nonchalant. Rosalie’s cheeks were still pink, but it was no longer with embarrassment, now it was with anger. How dare he put her down when he was friends with girls who wore less! She was just trying to find a happy medium between mouse and whore. That decided it right then and there. She was going to buy this outfit, and she was going to rock it. Maybe she was a little on the pale side, but she could start studying outside and fix that. Rosalie froze. Was she really going to take advice from this insensitive asshole? She leaned back, intending to change out of the outfit, but she slipped on the pile of clothes and accidentally pushed the door open. Vanessa and Eric froze, staring at her. Rosalie couldn’t do anything but stare back. Eric shrugged and turned on his heel, leaving the store. Vanessa watched him go with a scowl on his face.
“What was he doing here anyway?” hissed Rosalie once he was out of the store. Vanessa tossed her head haughtily.
“Probably here to tell me something else that my ex wanted me to know.” Rob was still trying to get at her, apparently, and she was holding her own ignoring him. Maybe he’d turned to his lieutenant to get the message across. A smile manifested on Rosalie’s face. Well, if that was the case, then he’d failed. He hadn’t said a word about Rob the whole time he was in the store. Was it maybe because of how she looked in that outfit? Or had he maybe been so disgusted that he couldn’t get the words out? Damn! Clothes shopping was an emotional roller coaster. Rosalie colored at the thought of him paying enough attention to her to forget what he was supposed to be doing. Then she got mad at herself. Why would he pay attention to her at all? She was invisible. In a haze, she paid for the skirt and top, mechanically making the rights sounds and movements to make it look like she was paying attention to Vanessa’s conversation. In reality, she was repeating a mantra over and over again in her head. Tomorrow school started. Her premed classes wouldn’t take her anywhere near Eric or Blaze or Rob, or any of that bunch. It was a hope that she held on to, and she started to count down the hours until her day was over. As the girls made it back to their dorm, they found Rob blocking their way. Vanessa froze, glowering at him, expecting him to move. The two of them stood in complete silence, staring at each other. Rosalie took that as her cue and slipped around him to get into the building. She almost felt bad about leaving Vanessa out there with him, but she was sure the other girl could handle it. Besides, she was still reeling herself, and just wanted to be alone.
In her room, Rosalie hung the outfit up in her closet. She stared at it for a few minutes then yanked it off the bar and flung it across the room. She frowned at the pile of blue and black in the corner of the room. It felt like it was alive and had eyes to watch her accusingly with. Stalking across the room, she picked it up and hung it back in the closet…as far back as she could reach. There. It wasn’t anywhere that she could see. She still hadn’t decided if it had been a nice purchase, or if it had just been an impulse buy. She walked over to her desk and looked at the stack of textbooks. What better way to destress than to pack her bag for tomorrow? Yes, it was a bit on the geeky side, but it made her feel better. She grabbed her backpack and perused it for a moment. It was one of those heavy duty ones that high school kids used because they usually got slung all over the place. She pulled out her schedule and started to comb through it, separating the books by day. When she had everything she needed for tomorrow, she packed them in her bag, threw in a handful of pens and pencils, a stack of notebooks, and a calculator. She didn’t have a laptop, she was still saving up for that, but she was proud of being able to pay for her things herself, so the more things she could get for school, the more self-sufficient she saw herself as. For now it was the old fashioned, pen and paper way.
The tiny window gave her a nice view out onto the quad behind their dorm. She went over to it in order to catch the last few rays of the sun as they played across the grass. Her eye caught Vanessa and Rob, locked in a heated embrace, and she turned away embarrassed. She was embarrassed that she would never have the courage to have such a blatant public display of affection. Then she realized, you actually had to have someone first. That was the first hurdle, and she didn’t believe she would get there. Standing in front of the mirror, she gave herself a once over. She wasn’t completely unfortunate looking. The new hair cut framed her face and made it look fuller, almost pretty. The makeup gave her face a soft glow, and to her, she looked more alive than she had in years. Her eye caught the reflection of the closet, and she wondered what she would really look like in the style of clothes that Vanessa and her friends seemed to like. It would certainly catch Eric’s attention if she dressed that way, and she’d even feel a little like Sandy at the end of Grease. But was she really willing to lose herself in order to catch a guy? No. She couldn’t justify it. Maybe that would be something she’d put on her bucket list. A boyfriend. Why did that little thing seem to be so far out of her reach? Sighing, she grabbed her robe from the hook on the back of her door and grabbed her bathroom bag. Might as well wash all her worries away in the shower.
As the hot water rushed over her, Rosalie let her tears mix in. This was supposed to be a new beginning for her, and so far it just seemed like she was royally mucking it all up. It felt good to just let it out. No one was here to hear her, and she could let the weight slide off her shoulders. Toweling herself off, she put her robe on and headed back to her room. Vanessa still wasn’t back from whatever she was doing with Rob, so that left Rosalie alone with her thoughts. Changing into her pajamas, she crawled into bed and stared out of the window. She wasn’t really the praying type, but she closed her eyes for a minute and sent up a silent prayer that tomorrow went smoothly. The moon shone through the window, bathing her in a soft glow. It made Rosalie feel like a fairy princess, being kissed by the moonbeams. When she’d been younger, she’d hoped that there had been a mistake somewhere along the heritage line and she’d wake up one morning with wings and be beautiful. It was the product of an overactive imagination, and that had gotten her more than her fair share of teasing growing up. A few people had even suggested that she write down her crazy fantasies and publish them as fiction books. That thought made her blush, and it was with that thought that she finally fell asleep.
It was quite a while later that Vanessa came back up the stairs to her room. Rob was on her heels, and the two were knocking into almost everything as they made their way to her room. A particularly energetic kiss knocked into the bookshelf that Rosalie had built and set up next to her reading chair. The crash brought Rosalie into a state of semi-awareness. Sitting up with her heart racing, she jumped out of bed and rushed to the door of her room. She opened it and saw the two in a state of undress.
“Oh my goodness!” Rosalie quickly slammed the door shut again, locking it behind her. She crawled back under the covers and cried herself to sleep, feeling more alone than she had even in high school where the other girls made sure to point out her faults and let her know that she would never amount to anything. Did that mean that they were right?