I watched as Rich opened the lid to the cooler. His hands were as black as night, just a part of the job. He grabbed a hoagie and turned, slapping it against Donny’s stomach. He reached into the cooler again. He faked another handoff to Donny and then took a few steps and turned. He put his left hand out and looked right at me with a head nod.

I had a cigarette between my lips, not in the mood for whatever fucking game Rich wanted to play. I leaned against an open garage bay in a white sleeveless shirt that was covered in all kinds of fluids from cars, trucks, even a school bus. Shit, if it weren’t for the local school giving me the maintenance contract on all their buses I’d probably be working a second job to keep things flowing.

“Fourth and fifteen,” Rich yelled. “The pass is in the air… for the win…”

Rich threw the hoagie like a football. Of course he did. Rich still thought we were all in high school. He still saw himself playing in the championship game. Getting the college scholarship. Soaring to the top of all talks when it came time to go pro. And then inking a monster multi-million dollar deal and throwing the middle finger to the little shithole town we all called home.

Except Rich did something very stupid. He chose to look at the end instead of the middle. What did that mean? That meant Rich decided to toss back one too many shots, get into a car with a woman he picked up at a bar, and then wrapped that car around a tree. The woman broke her leg, her parents sued Rich, Rich lost his scholarship, and, oh yeah, he broke his throwing arm and never regained what he once had. I was never sure if he had the skills to go pro though. Not that any of that shit mattered to me. The world of college, parties, and careers waved bye-bye to me a long time ago.

I was lucky enough to know how to use a wrench and got in with the shop owner when I was fourteen. The guy who owned the place - Grumpy Gus - let me sleep in the garage when I had no home. I got to know him and he became the closest thing I had to a father. I was there when he died and I was there when his lawyer told me Gus left me everything. A house that needed to get knocked down, a garage that was barely alive, and some credit card debt because Grumpy Gus made himself happy with a credit card and a laptop, buying videos that he could have watched for free, but that’s a whole other topic.

Rich’s throw wasn’t on target at all.

I watched as my Italian hoagie with peppers and oil and vinegar flew to my right. I took my cigarette out of my mouth and threw it to the ground, stepped on it as I stepped to the right and threw my hand out, making the catch. Lucky for me my hands were big, callused, and the hoagie hit and stuck.

“For the win!” Rich called out.

“Nice throw,” I said. Then pointed to the yellow stained slightly turned clock on the wall. “Twenty minutes starts now.”

“Yes, boss,” Donny said with a salute.

He and Rich sat on the cooler after breaking out cans of soda. I knew there was beer hidden in the ice and they knew if I caught them even holding a can of beer before five I’d break their hands. I wouldn’t fire them because I needed the help.

I turned and walked into the garage. In a chair begging for its life sat Hank. His head was down on his chest as he snored, taking his afternoon nap before he’d wake and eat enough food for ten people. He was a big guy in every way possible but he was fiercely loyal, more to Gus than me. But I kept him around after Gus died because Gus made me promise to do so.

I kicked at the chair and Hank popped up and growled. “Fucker.”

“Good morning,” I said. “You going to eat?”

“I’ll get there, goddammit. I’m resting my eyes.”

“Sure thing,” I said.

I walked to the office door and looked back. The place was my kingdom. All I really had in life besides a black lab named Jesse at home. Jesse was too old for his own good but refused to give up on life. That dog was one tough son of a bitch.

I opened the office and sat down in my chair. I plopped my hoagie down on a pile of invoices and bills and went to town on my lunch. I figured the electric company wouldn’t mind a little stench of onion and oil on the bill, right? Plus, the fucking bill was forty days overdue.

I’d get to it when they’d send someone out to threaten to shut the power off.

It was the game of survival with no end in sight. The game I had been born into. Some days you were the one eating steak and smiling and other days you were hiding under the table waiting for a little piece of fat or bone to fall your way.

But at the end of the day, it always seemed to balance out.

Right on cue, the office door swung open and in came Nikki.

She had fear spread across her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stood up.

“The car’s making noise again. I was late with the rent. Stupid Handlen is threatening to kick me out.”

Nikki blew out what looked like a much needed breath. She ran her hand through her hair but a few strands refused to say back. Her eyes filled with tears as she bit her bottom lip. I knew how much Nikki hated to cry. Just about the same as she hated to be hugged and told it was going to be okay.

I gave her a few seconds and she collected herself.

“Ava is behind on her reading level too,” she said. “I think that hurts the worst.”

“She’s a kid,” I said. “Fuck whatever any school thinks about reading.”

“She’s not…”

“Nik,” I said as I rose up. I grabbed a paper towel and wiped my hands and mouth. Then I opened the top drawer of my desk and grabbed the bank deposit bag. I unzipped the green leather bag and took out cash.

She started to shake her head. “Dammit, Gavin. No. Not again.”

I walked to her and grabbed her hand. “Nik… shut up.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

I put the cash into her hand. “Pay the rent. Make sure you’re good with the preschool. Fuck whatever they say about Ava’s reading. I’ll work with her tonight. Bring her over and we’ll do something.”

“Gavin…”

I touched Nikki’s chin. “You’re family.”

“Not by blood.”

“That means nothing to me.”

We stared at each other. It was a damn shame we never allowed lines to get crossed, really. But by now we were far too close as brother and sister to let anything happen. After all she had been through though, she needed me to protect her. And Ava. Which I did.

“What about the garage?” Nikki asked. “I know this money is for the bills here.”

“Hey. The lights are on. Cars need to be fixed. The guys are working. This isn’t your worry.”

“I have to get to the diner or else I’m going to get fired.”

I grabbed the keys off my desk. “Take my truck. Leave the car. I’ll get it fixed and bring it to the diner.”

“You sure? I’ll find a way to pay you…” Nikki glanced at the cash and she frowned. “With the money you just gave me.”

“Go to work, Nik,” I said. “Pour coffees. Serve up club sandwiches. Flirt. Make money.”

“Only you could turn waitressing into making me feel like a whore.”

“At least you don’t do it topless.”

“Maybe I should,” Nikki said.

I laughed. “Get out of here.”

“Hey, Gav?” she called out.

“Yeah?” I was behind my desk again.

“Thanks for the cash,” she said. “And you smell like onions. Not a good fit on you.”

I reached down and grabbed an oregano laced onion. I tilted my head back and dangled it over my mouth like me and Luke used to do when we were kids with worms. We’d torture the hell out of Nikki with that stuff, until one time Luke dropped the worm for real by accident.

I dropped the onion into my mouth and chomped on it.

“You’re a pig,” Nikki said. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Nik,” I said.

She left the office and I plopped down in my chair. I still had half a hoagie to eat but priority number one was getting her car fixed. I opened my drawer again and shoved the remaining money and other invoices away. I dug in the back and found an old picture. Me, Luke, Nikki. Luke had his arm around her. He claimed her from day one. And now I was taking care of her. And Ava. With enough secrets to drown the strongest swimmer, I shut the drawer and stood up. My chair flew back and hit the wall.

I left the food on the desk only to have it stolen by a fucking cat that lingered around the garage. I warned the guys about feeding the damn thing but they named the cat Wrench and the fucking thing ate the other half of my lunch.

By then though I was already done with Nikki’s car.

The day rolled on. Cars came in, cars went out. Rich and Donny argued over a concert they claimed to have seen five years ago. Hank fell asleep hanging over the hood of a car. Every time he did it I thought this was the time I’d find him dead from a heart attack. But he woke up.

Life went on.

Life always went on… until it didn’t.

 

* * *

 

I opened the door to the house and whistled. In my head I heard the scratching of nails against the old wood floors. The beat up rug that led from the foyer to the living room would get rolled up as Jesse would do anything to get to me at the door. He’d fall to the floor, roll over, wiggling his back against my boots. He’d make the most pathetic whining sound you’d ever hear. Then he’d roll back and jump up to his feet… and piss.

I used to get so mad at the damn dog.

Now I looked down at my stained and worn boots and wished they were covered in piss.

“Jesse, I’m home,” I called out, cupping my hands to my mouth.

Then I heard the soft scratch, scratch as he lowered himself from the recliner in the sunroom and then slowly walked toward me. He looked at me with aged eyes but still managed to get his tail wagging fast. I dropped to one knee and he always gave me a big lab hug. I wrapped my arms around him.

“Missed you, buddy,” I said. “Find any squirrels today?”

Jess just stared. After a few seconds, he let out a loud bark.

That was dog for shut up and feed me.

So I did.

I found myself leftover pizza from the night before and grabbed a cold beer.

I sat out back with Jesse by my side.

My phone buzzed with a call from a number I didn’t know. It was someone looking for money to do with the garage. I ignored the call. The phone beeped again and it was Nikki.

A text message.

Out front. Brought food.

She always made her presence known, fearing I’d be with a woman.

I left the beer and a half eaten slice of pizza on the table. I went to the front door to find Ava standing there with a big smile on her face. Bluest eyes ever. Blonde hair that was almost white. A perfect mirror image…

It always took my breath.

“Uncle Gavin!” she yelled as though I was a mile away.

“Little Ava!” I yelled at her.

I scooped her up and saw Nikki getting out of her car with a bag of takeout food.

“Hope you’re hungry,” she called out.

“I only had four slices of pizza,” I yelled back. “I’m starving.”

“You’re a pig,” Ava said.

“Hey. Your mother called me that earlier.”

“See, it’s true,” Ava said.

I tickled her and she let out a yelling giggle that made the world feel totally right.

Even though everything was a fucked up mess.