I hated to see her go. I hated to see them all go. Olivia was the first to leave, heading back into the city. Taking her fancy car that she actually stole so she could track me down. I had to hand it to her, that was a pretty cool story. Not that she would get in trouble for it. The power of money, huh?

Nikki and Ava had to take off too. Ava was proud of her wound. Nikki was proud she was able to take care of Ava on her own. I was proud of them both but had this empty feeling that maybe they didn’t need me anymore. It was a fucked up feeling and I hid that shit under the hood of a pickup truck at the garage.

It was just me and Donny for the day so I treated him to a late lunch. We ended the day with a smoke and then I sent his ass home. I ended up crashing at my desk, sifting through all the bills and invoices and paperwork that so desperately needed my attention. Rubbing my jaw I realized I was the worst business owner in the history of the world. Not that I really asked for it all, you know? Gus just sort of left it all to me. And in this town, you had a job and you had to fucking do it or else things would crumble. We all depended on each other.

Which was why there was no way I could give up the garage and the land. Shit, I hated even having that on my mind at all.

I organized everything on my desk for the first time in… ever. The bills were staggering. The invoices were meek. The garage was underwater. But, hey, I was still breathing.

I opened the top drawer of my desk and dug in the back. I found the picture of Luke and put it on my desk. I rubbed my jaw harder as everything played out in my mind. He was going to be the one that got away. He wanted to escape it all. He wanted to become something. Do something. Achieve something. As his big brother, how the fuck could I tell him he was wrong? To me Luke would always be the four year old kid standing in front of the TV wearing nothing but cartoon underwear, watching cartoons, eating a bowl of cereal as milk dribbled down his chin.

“What the fuck happened…” I whispered.

It all happened too fast.

I put my hand over the picture. I looked forward, blinking fast.

I thought about Olivia. I couldn’t believe I trusted her with pieces of the truth. I had given her ammo to come after the town. Talk about trusting someone. And she wanted me to come to her speech. At the memorial for that little girl that passed away. Last time I was at a memorial…

“No,” I said.

I put the picture away and stood up. I cleared my throat.

I wasn’t going to live in the past.

I left the garage, drove home, and dug around in the fridge for something to eat. The food was scarce but the beer was cold. Jesse was my only company and I sat on the couch and tried to get him to put his head on my lap. He refused, turning, putting his head on the other end of the couch, leaving his ass to rest against me.

“Thanks, buddy,” I said.

Jesse let out a little yip and shut his eyes.

He had the right idea.

I finished my drink and shut my eyes too.

I had slept on the couch, in the chair, in my bed… but tonight, I felt alone… wishing Olivia was there with me.

 

* * *

 

I ran water into my hands and slid my fingers through my hair. I washed my face. I scrubbed my hands until they were raw. I had all of two nice shirts in my closet and that was two too many. I found my best looking jeans and got dressed. A nice button down dress type shirt was not my thing, but for Olivia…

I shook my head as I looked in the mirror.

What the fuck are you doing here, Gavin?

I was going to drive almost an hour north to go to this memorial to hear Olivia give a speech. She texted me the address and the time, that she would have someone waiting for me, and that when it was over we could get a private car and do something.

Suddenly I was going from the cracked pavement of a rundown town washed away in tragedy to the golden streets of the upper class life, complete with some guy that would drive me anywhere I said to go and with everything at my disposal.

I didn’t like it one bit. But I didn’t like not seeing Olivia more.

Plus, she was being vulnerable to me, telling me she was nervous about the speech and that she was going against her father’s wishes by not speaking words that were written for her.

She had me interested. And I wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad.

When I went downstairs after I finished getting ready there was a knock at the door. I stopped right at the door and ripped it open.

“Um… hello…”

I stood there facing a really beautiful woman. Like supermodel type beauty. The kind where it took hours of makeup, certain foods, and certain clothing to keep the image alive. She was skinny with really striking features. Her lips were a bright red color, her eyes a little bit narrow, a sultry dark color. She put a hand to her hip and jutted it out, showing off a wicked tight body.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“You’re Gavin. Do you remember me?”

“No. Am I supposed to?”

“I’m friends with Olivia. My name is Whitney.”

“Right,” I said. “You were with her that first night.”

“Exactly.” Whitney reached and touched my shirt. “I love this shirt on you. The light color works against your skin. Not that you need anything to show off your body. You’re really built solid.”

“Right,” I said again. “Um, Liv isn’t here…”

“Liv? You call her that. That’s totally adorable. I’m not here for her. I’m here for you. Can I come in?”

A second later, Jesse appeared next to me and started to bark. His loud, old man bark was ear splitting. I looked down at the dog and he was full on pissed off. His mouth open, saliva collecting, working damn hard to bark that loud. The hair near his ass was standing up too. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw Jesse this… angry.

I stepped forward and shut the door.

The thing was… Whitney didn’t move.

I had to get within an inch of her. Her perfume smell attacked me. It wasn’t the natural smell of Olivia.

“Bad doggy, huh?” Whitney whispered.

“Sorry about that. Jesse never gets like that. Must be a stranger thing.”

“Well, let’s not be strangers then, Gavin,” Whitney said.

Her voice was suddenly a little bit deeper, intention lingering behind that.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“I know what Olivia has been doing here,” she said. “With her father. I think it’s bullshit, to be honest.”

Didn’t Olivia tell me it was Whitney’s idea to come to town?

“Okay,” I said. “Look, I don’t have time right now. I’m kind of busy.”

“Where you heading?”

“Where I need to go,” I said.

“Ah, playing the shy card. Sure. That’s fine.” Whitney backed off a little. She then ran her hand through her dark hair. She pushed it all to one side. Her hair was long and soft. She looked like some woman in a fancy shampoo commercial. “I just wanted to check on the guy that was stealing her heart.”

“What?”

Whitney covered her mouth. “Whoops. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But you did.”

“Well, it’s true. And I can’t blame her. I’ve only been here for a minute and I can’t remember a thing I did yesterday. I just hope you know what you’re dealing with. Everything is processed.”

Kind of like your clothes, makeup, hair… appearance?

“How so?”

“Everything is decided for her,” Whitney said. “What she does. Where she goes. Who she goes with. In a way, it’s really sad.”

“How do you know Olivia?”

“We’ve been friends forever,” Whitney said, rolling her eyes. “Best friends. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. Including you, Gavin.”

“Why would I get hurt?”

Whitney stepped forward and touched my hand. “Just… be careful of reality.”

I took my hand away. “I’ve got to go.”

“Of course you do. It was so nice to meet you. Again. Well, to properly meet you. Hope you didn’t judge me the first time. Being drunk. Hanging on those two dweebs.”

“No judgment at all.”

“Honestly, Gavin, it should have been you. I wish I got to you first.”

Whitney winked and turned. She made it to the steps and went down two of them. I never thought in my wildest dreams I’d have rich women parading around my house.

Whitney then paused. She looked back with a grin. “Are you going to Olivia’s speech?”

I laughed. “You already know that answer.”

“That’s why I’m here, Gavin. I have the car.”

“Excuse me?”

“The car. For us. To go there together. Olivia said-”

“I’ll drive my truck.”

“To a memorial?”

“I’ll make do.”

“Fuck, that’s sexy,” Whitney said. She puckered her lips and blew a kiss at me.

Then she walked away for good.

I stood at the edge of my porch and watched her walk to the black car waiting for her. Everything about her fake and temptation rolled into one.

I didn’t trust her for one second. And she was friends with Olivia?

I gritted my teeth and let out a sigh.

I started wondering if I was doing the right thing here…

 

* * *

 

I parked my truck and had to walk three blocks. The memorial was being held in a small park near a couple busy streets. The perimeter of the park was closed off by fences and roses. It was really beautiful to see. I had never been there before. Inside the park there were two playgrounds - one for really little kids and one for the bigger kids. There were picnic tables, a pavilion, and the rest was just grass with different sections of gardens. All kinds of different flowers. It was really nice.

The memorial was being held at the far end of the park. There was a small stage with a podium. A gathering of people, most of them wearing shirts with a picture of a little girl that I assumed to be Abigail. What struck me hard was that she looked a lot like Ava. My heart was suddenly heavy.

The first few rows of people were sitting in chairs. The rest of us were just standing wherever we wanted. To the right of the stage I saw a small group of people. Men in suits with earpieces in. They were probably the ones guarding Olivia.

I decided to just hang back and see what happened. I didn’t want to make her more nervous than she already was.

There was a screen off to the left of the podium, playing a slideshow of this young girl’s life. Each picture that slid across the screen seemed sadder than the previous one.

All of it made me think of Luke. We had done the same damn thing for him. Why were some lives just taken at the wrong time? The wrong age? It just didn’t make sense.

I had the sudden urge to drink or smoke.

But I couldn’t do either.

I thought about bolting to my truck and texting Olivia a bullshit story.

I ended up just standing there. Waiting.

I was the only person without someone next to them.

That problem solved itself when I felt someone touch my arm.

I turned my head… and there was Whitney.

Ah, shit.

“You made it,” she whispered. “That’s good. Olivia needs it.”

“She needs it?”

“Such a terrible thing.” Whitney blinked fast. “So young. What a horrible disease.”

Whitney lowered her head. She let out a noise.

I touched her arm. “Hey. It’s okay. I know it’s sad. I know. It’s…”

Whitney looked at me. “Thank you, Gavin. For being here for me.”

I opened my mouth but didn’t have the chance to speak a word.

People started to gently applaud.

I looked and saw Olivia walking across the stage. She was in a beautiful white dress. My heart began to race. I swallowed hard and felt myself smiling. Her hair whipped around in the breeze. She wrestled with it, trying to get it behind her ears. She was so naturally beautiful, even from a distance.

She stepped to the podium and looked around.

Everyone knew who she was.

“Good afternoon,” she said. “I’m sure you all know who I am. I’m not here to introduce myself or talk about myself. I’m here to talk about a beautiful girl who led a beautiful life. And I don’t like saying things in the past tense. Because she still is leading a beautiful life. Through all of us. Through everyone she met and smiled at. We get to forever carry her smile with us. In some ways… we’re so lucky, right? I remember the first time I met Abigail. I know, I’m just some figurehead walking the halls of a hospital trying to get money…”

The crowd let out a little gasp.

“Oh, wow,” Whitney said.

I stepped forward. Smiling.

Olivia was being real.

“See this?” she asked, holding up a piece of paper. “This was written for me. For today.” She ripped the paper in half. “I’m not here for anything but to make sure we never forget Abigail.”

The entire crowd was silent.

“So I met Abigail. She was so bright. Smiling so big. There was just something about her. You know? I look at her parents” - Olivia nodded - “to Bill and Sarah, and I just know they know what I mean. Abigail never let anything bring her down. Never let anything get to her. To her, the hospital room was her room. She always talked about school. Wanting to go to school. Wanting to learn. And I learned from her. See, what nobody knows besides her parents was that I visited the hospital more than you all know. It’s not just for image. I care. I love. I feel heartache and I want to do something more. But there are times in life when we can’t do anything but just be present. And it may not seem like much, but being present is everything. Because eventually we’re not going to be present.” Olivia looked over to the screen that had a still shot of Abigail smiling. “And that’s when it hurts the most.”

Everyone was silent. Enamored by Olivia’s words.

She had me hooked.

Fuck, just watching her up there exposing her soul… she had me falling…

I felt something grab my arm and pull.

“Gavin, I can’t,” Whitney whispered.

She put her head to my shoulder. She forced my arm around her. She started to cry.

For the next ten minutes, Olivia recounted each visit with Abigail. She spoke of the memories, what they meant, and then talked about the hospital and what she wanted to do to help. She thanked Abigail’s parents for letting her speak. If that wasn’t enough she announced she was creating a fund and a scholarship in Abigail’s honor. Olivia was going to make sure all the local schools had updated computers and classrooms.

Whitney hugged my arm tight. “Oh, Gavin… I hate this.”

I gritted my teeth and broke away from Whitney.

Olivia finished her speech and the crowd applauded her. Abigail’s parents then took to the stage to hug Olivia.

“Can we go for a walk?” Whitney asked me. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“There’s plenty of people here,” I said. “I have to see Olivia.”

I saw the look on Whitney’s face and realized rejection was new to her.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “But I promised Liv…”

“She’s going to hurt you,” Whitney said. Her tears were suddenly dry. The sad girl was replaced with an evil girl. “So be ready for it, Gavin. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The crowd kept applauding. Then a voice came through the sound system.

It was Abigail’s father.

I glanced at the stage and saw a broken man, standing in front of so many people that cared about him, but there was nothing anyone could do for him.

Christ, did I know that feeling…

I shoved all my feelings aside and walked on the outside of the crowd.

When I got to the end of the crowd I was met with three really big guys that were blocking my way.

They stared at me.

We were the same height, the same build.

“I’m here to see Olivia,” I said.

“Sorry, sir,” the middle guy said. “Miss Olivia is not available.”

“Come on, man, she told me to meet her here.”

“I’m sure she did,” the guy said with a smile.

I felt my right hand ball up into a fist.

“He’s right,” a voice said. “Now move.”

The guys turned and quickly parted and made a path for Olivia as she stood there in her white dress, her hair dancing around in the breeze.

“Hey, darling,” I said. “Am I allowed through the secret service brigade here?”

“Come here, Gavin,” Olivia said.

I walked by the security guards and smirked at them.

From there I forgot about the entire thing and just focused on Olivia.

I grabbed her by the waist and looked down at her. “You did amazing.”

“I can’t believe you came.”

“I said I would. I liked seeing you vulnerable like that. Those people were listening to you, Liv.”

“No they weren’t,” she said. “They were admiring the celebrity in me. I hate feeling like I’m always bullshitting. Because most of the time I am.”

“So I’ve heard,” I said.

“Oh yeah? From whom?”

“Funny story…”

“Hey, Princess! Look here!”

I looked to my right and there was a guy with a camera. And behind him there were a dozen more.

“Dammit,” Olivia said. “Gavin, you should go. I’ll text you later when I get out of here.”

“What are you talking about?”

The security guards quickly blocked the way, trying to get the guys with the cameras away. That’s when I realized what this was. They were the paparazzi. I looked at Olivia again, maybe finally realizing just who she was. To all these people she was rich and famous. To me, she was something else. I didn’t care about her being famous. I didn’t care about her being rich either. That meant nothing to me. I cared about the way she looked at me. I cared about her being honest with me.

I grabbed for her hand but she swatted me away. “Gavin…”

“Embarrassed to be seen with a poor mechanic?” I asked.

“No. Not at all. Gavin… they’ll follow you. They’ll drive you crazy. I don’t want that for you.”

I leaned into Olivia and kissed her cheek. “Darling, I don’t give a fuck about that. I’m not leaving you like this.”

“They’ll follow my car,” she said. “It’ll be…”

I looked to my right. The paparazzi were arguing with the security guards. Abigail’s mother was now on stage speaking. I wanted to flip my lid. These assholes wanted a picture of Olivia while that poor little girl’s parents were grieving the loss of their daughter. I looked behind me and I smiled.

“Liv, I have an idea,” I whispered.

“Oh?”

I looked down at her feet. She wasn’t wearing heels. Something about that just drove me wild. She could play the rich girl image in front of anyone she wanted to but I could see through it. Because I saw the real her before I knew she was rich.

I slipped my hand into her hand. I smiled. “I hope you’re ready to run.”