The card was out of place and so completely unexpected that I couldn’t make sense of it for a moment.

Sandy Koufax stared up at me with his goofy ears and wonky smile.

“I’m sorry. I thought… I just wanted you to have it.” Andrew’s voice was full of regret.

I couldn’t make myself respond.

Everything crashed over me as surely as if the waves had suddenly taken on tsunami proportions.

I was with my mom in the collectible shop, having just gotten an A on the book report.

I stood in the hallway, staring at the door after she’d hugged me, told me she loved me, and then hurried to catch her plane to New York.

I was in my bed, staring at that card every night before I fell asleep.

I was sixteen, walking into my room to find the things I loved most gone. Rushing to the bedside table and finding Sandy Koufax had vanished as well.

I was on a beach. In the sun. With a man I shouldn’t be with, feeling things I shouldn’t feel, knowing that whatever was left of my heart was going to be shattered after the sun came up the next day.

I knew I was the one who would be walking away.

And still Sandy Koufax grinned at me.

Andrew touched my arm lightly, probably fearing I was about to crumble. “I’m sorry, Joel. I thought… I thought it would make you happy.”

No. It definitely did not make me happy, but I pulled the card close, holding it against my chest, and let out a shaky breath. It was back. It was mine. It was with me once again.

Stupid. Utterly stupid and insane. This wasn’t the same card. I knew that. It wasn’t from my mother. It hadn’t been thrown out by my father. But still, it was there, given to me by a man I didn’t come close to deserving, who offered me everything.

Finally, my voice returned. “How did you get this?”

He gave a little shrug. “Well, you were in that coffee shop a long time.”

Right. Obviously. I pulled the card back and looked between Sandy and Andrew. Then, like it was made of china, I placed it inside the picnic basket and closed the lid.

“Joel, I’m so very sorry. I only—”

I captured his face in my hands and kissed him. Kissed him so hard I was probably hurting him, but I couldn’t stop. Couldn’t get him close enough. Couldn’t let him go.

I wouldn’t.

Still holding his beautiful face, I broke the kiss and looked into those clear blue eyes. “I love you.”

His lips moved, silently. His eyes grew large. He trembled.

I said it again, firmer, feeling the truth of it to my soul, though it terrified me. “I love you, Andrew.”

A tear made its way down Andrew’s cheek, but neither of us bothered to wipe it away. “I love you too.”

I knew that. I’d known I loved him, maybe from the first night in my room, maybe by the window in the cabin. I just hadn’t wanted to. In truth, I still didn’t. But that didn’t change the fact, nor that it was too soon and made no sense. I loved him. I was in love with him.

I pulled him to me, one arm going around his head, the other crushing his body to mine as I kissed him. Trying to pour every ounce of love and fear I had into it. Into him.

Then my hands took charge, not waiting for my brain to catch up as they began to pull off Andrew’s clothes. His shirt was gone, his body nearly glowing in the sun, and I yanked at the button of his jeans.

Though I wasn’t sure how, Andrew got my shirt off in the process, and then we hit a glitch. His words were barely more than frantic puffs of air. “Do you. I’ll do me.”

We both stood from our kneeling position, stripping out of our clothes. Andrew tossed one of his socks so forcefully it landed by the lapping waves. He didn’t bother with it, and then he was shoving the picnic basket and food aside, clearing the blanket.

I pointed back toward the cliff. “Should we go to that enclosure you mentioned?”

Andrew spared a glance at the palisades and then shook his head. “No. I don’t care. If someone comes, they can just leave. Who gives a shit?”

I couldn’t have agreed more, and we crashed into each other once again, the force of his body nearly knocking me backward. His lips were on mine as his hands roamed over my back, then my ass. Too soon, he broke the kiss and made his way over my body. Then, it wasn’t too soon as I was captured by his lips on my collarbone, as his tongue traced the edge, then down to my nipple, licking, sucking, giving little tugs.

Then he was on his knees, my cock in his mouth, my hands in his hair. I spared a glance away from him, for a second. Taking in the sea, the cliffs, the hint of lavender at the top before the walls of stone gave way to sky and sun.

And I was home.

By the sea. By the cliff.

But most of all, with him. This man was my home.

I cupped his cheek with my hand and pulled my cock gently from his mouth, then knelt in front of him, offering one more kiss before looking into his eyes again. “I need you inside me.”

He jerked. “You need—”

“Yes, Andrew. Please.”

He didn’t question or speak again, but kissed me, then put his weight on me so we both slowly lowered to the blanket. I landed softly on my ass, and Andrew was between my legs, then covering me, kissing me again. Then he pulled away to look down at me. “You’re so beautiful, Joel.” He was silhouetted against the sun, the outline of his muscles sharp against the backdrop of the sky.

I needed him.

“Be in me, Andrew. Make love to me.” Even as the words left my lips, they sounded foreign to my ears and caused me to suck in a breath.

Andrew’s entire body froze. His arms on either side of my head as he supported his weight. His hips against mine, his erection flush with my own, our legs tangled. “You okay? Freak yourself out?”

Hell yeah, I had.

“Want me to stop?”

I considered for a heartbeat then doubled down. “No. I want you to make love to me.”

He sighed, and it sounded like relief. “I love you, Joel.”

I tried to say it again, but I couldn’t, not that it made it any less true.

Andrew repositioned and started to take me into his mouth once more, his hand tracing over my balls and moving lower between my legs.

“No.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “Don’t wait.”

He glanced up, staring over my body at me, and the sunlight fell over his face. “Don’t you need me to get you ready? It doesn’t seem like you take this position often.”

“I don’t. It’s been… forever, but I’ll be fine, just go slow.” If we waited, I’d either come or I’d freak out and change my mind. But I wanted him inside me. Wanted to be his in a way I’d never really been anyone else’s. “Please. I need you now, Andrew.”

“Okay. You don’t have to ask me twice.”

I let loose a half-crazed laugh. “Apparently I do.”

He paused and then laughed as well. “Yeah, I guess so.” Shifting, he reached over and retrieved the lube and condom. “You’re not going to have to ask a third time.” He dropped the lube bottle and had to scurry to catch it as it rolled away.

I laughed. He was so fucking adorable. “Oh my God, Andrew Kelly, will you get inside your man?”

“Yes, sir!” After he captured the bottle and was back in place, he ripped open the condom, sheathed himself, and then went a little overboard on the lube, coating his cock and taking precious seconds to do the same to my ass, slipping the tip of his thumb inside me.

I arched, hissing. But I managed a floppy wave of my hand against the blanket. “It’s okay. Go slow, but give me your dick already.”

He removed his thumb, and I stilled as he adjusted, drawing his body up to mine and lining himself up. “Breathe, baby.”

Right. Breathe.

I did. And he breached me, the tip of him pushing in and setting my body on fire. My hands shifted their grip from the blanket to his thighs, squeezing his hard muscles tight. I wasn’t going to be able to do this. I’d been wrong.

“Keep breathing.” His hand came up to smooth over my chest. “Look at me.”

I hadn’t even realized I’d slammed my eyes shut. I opened them and breathed. Then did as he asked and looked into his eyes. My body relaxed somewhat at the reminder of who was above me. Of his beauty, of how much I wanted him. Of the love I saw in the depths of his gaze.

I was ready. More than ready.

He smiled and pushed in more.

Another hiss and I tightened around him, though not intentionally.

He sucked in a breath. “Holy fuck, Joel.”

The lust in his voice did more than the lube could. I readjusted slightly, letting my legs open to him and then hook around his hips.

Andrew stared into my eyes as he slowly pushed the rest of the way in, stretching me, filling me. The depth in those blue eyes revealing every ounce of love and lust he felt.

Keeping himself buried deep, he lowered his body over mine, the hair of his chest caressing over my tingling skin, and he kissed me, his tongue slipping inside.

I gave myself over to him entirely, and he began to move. His cock slid, pulling partly out and then shoving back in with slow, agonizing force, stretching me in a painfully intoxicating way as his tongue explored my mouth, caressed my tongue.

Every so often, the pressure was too much, but then he would shift, easing the pain, his movement hitting a different spot inside and sending jolts of pleasure through my body.

He built a rhythm, rocking me on the shore until there was nothing in the world save him. His lips, his cock, his muscled body moving against mine with masculine grace. He broke the kiss, staring into my eyes again. “I love you.”

The words came easy this time. “I love you too.”

Andrew rose to a better kneeling position and increased the speed of his thrust, his hands slipping behind my thighs and securing me in his grip. “Stroke yourself, Joel. Come for me while I’m in you.”

I wasn’t sure I could take any more sensation, but I did as he asked, wrapping my fist around my dick and stroking in time with his thrusts. The sensation of him filling me up, the pressure of his strong hands on my skin, the grunts and growls he made as he thrust—I got lost in it all. It was probably just a matter of seconds, much sooner than I wanted, but I couldn’t hold back, not with the sight of him over me, the feel of him deep inside. “Fuck, Andrew. Fuck.”

At my panted curses, he pushed my thighs open farther and increased his speed, pounding into me. “Come for me, baby. Come for me.”

With a cry, I did, my orgasm rocketing through me, the power of it with Andrew thrusting into my body, making me arch my head back as jets of come shot over my chest, and against my jaw.

Above me, Andrew cried out in his own release, his fingers tightening on my thighs as he pumped again and again. Finally, he was still, frozen there as we both trembled in aftershocks, until his body relaxed. He lowered my legs and pulled himself free.

I wanted him back. Buried deep. Filling me. Completely joined with me.

Even as I mourned the loss of him, he leaned over, doing something with the condom, then lay on his side by me, supporting his head on one hand and lifting the other to trace my stubble. “Trying to show off, huh?”

I chuckled. “Maybe.”

Dipping his head, he ran his tongue over my jaw in a playful lick, cleaning me off. Then he grinned down at me once more, a devilish expression I hadn’t yet seen from him. “Well, I approve.” His smile turned serious. “Are you okay?”

I wasn’t sure if he meant physically or if I was about to jump up and bolt away. “I’ll probably be sore tomorrow.”

“You’d better be. I’ll be insulted if you aren’t.” He laid his hand on my chest, over my heart, whether intentional or not. “But you’re okay?”

I felt exposed, scared. And happier than I could ever remember being. “Yes. I’m okay.” I could tell there was something else he wanted to ask. Maybe something he needed to say. I knew what it was. I tested the words in my mind before I spoke them. These wouldn’t be caused by the heat of the moment. “I love you.”

The smile that followed made the beach, the cliffs, and every blossom of every lavender flower fade to gray in comparison. “I love you too.”

After a while, we put our clothes back on. Well, our underwear actually, just in case some tourists wandered by. What we’d done would still be obvious, but at least we wouldn’t get arrested for indecent exposure.

I lay on my back, Andrew’s head on my chest, as had already become habit. I traced his shoulder and arm with one hand and occasionally lifted my other to run my fingers through his hair.

At some point, I realized he’d fallen asleep, and I felt strangely alone in his absence.

Clouds moved overhead, and as each one passed, thoughts crowded into my mind. And though they brought more questions, and more fear, a shining light cut through each.

I loved Andrew Kelly.

Like full on loved him. Not a crush. Not anything I’d felt before. Ever.

And I wasn’t going to give him up.

The coffee shop was easy. No plans needed to change. The property would be mine tomorrow. The company’s property, actually, but whatever. I’d still find the old man’s price, buy Lavender Leaves, and keep the town’s policy of one type of business. I wasn’t sure how to fix the whole no chains or corporations thing. I knew I couldn’t talk my father, or the board, for that matter, into making Comfort Coffee a one-of-a-kind location, but I’d think of something. The answer had to be there.

All of that was trivial.

What I couldn’t figure out was how to stay. But I couldn’t leave Andrew. The answer should be easy enough. San Francisco was a little more than an hour away. I could commute. Yeah, right. As if my father would ever consider that. And on the business side of things, I knew he’d be right. I’d need to be there. The hours I worked wouldn’t make commuting an option. I’d barely get to Lavender Shores, have five hours of sleep, and then have to leave again. Maybe be in San Fran for the weekdays and with Andrew on the weekends. Right again, because I didn’t work weekends and every day of every month of every year.

I couldn’t see a solution.

I pulled Andrew closer as he slept and continued to study the sky, searching for answers.

I’d find one. I had no doubt. I’d just have to get creative. But whatever the answer, I wasn’t giving Andrew up.