Chapter Four
Beth
Beth knew Devin was angry. She could feel the tension and anger flowing from him, and he had every right to be livid with her. She broke his heart, and kept his son from him. But she had to make him understand. She didn’t have a choice and then she found out she was pregnant, and after hurting the man she once loved, she was too much of a coward to reach out to him. She was afraid of what her father would do if he found out she had made contact with Devin.
She owed him an explanation though. Actually, she owed him so much more than that, but telling him the truth now was the least she could do. Maybe he would understand. She prayed he would understand. Prayed hard.
“I never meant to hurt you, Devin. Breaking things off between us was the hardest thing I had ever done. I didn’t just destroy you, I destroyed myself,” she started to explain but was interrupted.
“You destroyed yourself? Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” he demanded. “I called you! I sent you probably hundreds of text messages. And nothing. I got nothing in return!”
Beth felt like she was reliving that horrible day all over again. The pain was still a living, breathing thing in her soul. She hated her father. He destroyed her for his own personal gain, and thought nothing of it. How could she explain that to Devin? Get him to understand that what she did, was to protect him and the career he loved.
“You know what, fuck it. I don’t even want to know.” She looked up into Devin’s face. The face she loved. The face that for the last eight years, she had only been able to dream about. “What are you doing here Beth? Why now?” he sounded so tired, even to her ears.
She looked around the room. She didn’t want anyone to overhear what she was about to say. Turning she walked to the chair her son... their son, had sat in, and she let out a long sigh.
“Two nights ago, I was at my parent’s house for another of their damn dinner parties,” she started. Devin already knew about the parties; they had talked about how much she hated them before when they were together. “I wanted to leave, but I had to tell my father good-bye first. He would have a shit fit if I left without telling him. When he hadn’t returned to the dining room, I went to search for him. Derek was tired, and I wanted to go home. Anyway, I heard a noise outside coming from the garden area. So I walked out the door,” Beth paused, she could still see the flashes of images in her mind. Like a movie playing in slow motion. “I saw my father outside with three men. One was begging my father for another chance. Saying something about losing a shipment and promising to get it back. I don’t know what he was talking about, but the man was scared...” her voice trailed off. Again, the images came. She tried to block them, to force them out of her head, but they refused to leave. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked into Devin’s eyes. “My father shot him. Just shot him. I stood there while the man fell to the ground, blood pooling from his face. He shot him...,” her voice broke.
Beth sat there for several minutes, crying. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Devin. He had a tissue in his hand, offering it to her. Graciously, Beth accepted it, wiping her face clean and blowing her nose. She knew she looked like a million-dollar mess, but she really didn’t care.
“I tried to sneak back inside, but when I got to the door my foot hit a damn planter. It crashed to the ground. My father sent Frank to see what made the noise. I just turned and ran as fast as I could. I sat at the table trying to make it look like I never left. Frank walked in the dining room and then left. But, my father will know it was me who witnessed the shooting. He’ll watch the cameras and see that I saw. He will send his men after me. So I told my mother good-bye, grabbed Derek and drove home. Derek and I packed as quickly as we could and left. He won’t think twice about killing me or Derek. Please, Devin. We need your help,” she finished, looking back up at him.
Devin’s face was completely blank. No emotion showed at all. Beth honestly didn’t know if he would help them. That wasn’t totally true. She knew Devin would never turn his back on Derek, but her - she was a different story.
Devin started to pace the room. But still, he said nothing. Beth’s nerves were all over the place. Just then, her cell phone buzzed causing her to jump. She grabbed it from her pocket looking at the caller ID. Her eyes went wide in fear.
“Who is it?” Devin asked, walking back to where she was sitting.
“My mother. She says my father is wanting to know where I am. Said he went by the house and I wasn’t home.” Fear crawled into every area of her soul. He was looking for her. He knew.
“He knows now. He knows that I saw him,” again the tears started to fall. She was dead if Devin wouldn’t help her.
“If you won’t help me, please help Derek,” she pleaded as her voice totally abandoned her.
Would she really have to leave her son? If it meant keeping him safe and alive, then yes she would. It would gut her, but she would do it nonetheless.
Devin grabbed her phone and read the message, still not saying a word. She hated his silence. She would rather him yell, cuss, scream - anything, but the silence.
“You have no idea what the shipment could have possibly been? And are you one-hundred percent sure your father pulled the trigger?” he finally asked.
“I have no clue. None of them mentioned what it was. All that was said was ‘the shipment’ and yes. I am one-hundred and fifty percent sure. I saw the gun in his hand. It had a silencer on it. Like the one we saw at that gun show in Houston that we went to. My father shot that man as he begged for his life,” she told him. “Now, it’s all I see. I can’t get the images out of my head. It’s like a bad horror movie. They play over and over again. Never stopping...” she trailed off as the movie of that night played again in her mind.
Devin squatted down in front of her. “Beth, look at me.”
She brought her eyes to his. Such beautiful eyes. Their son had the same ones. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you about Derek,” she said quietly. “I always wanted to, but I was too scared. My father is the reason I ended things between us. He threatened your career. I couldn’t let him hurt you. So, I broke up with you. My God Devin, I am so sorry,” and more tears fell...
“What do you mean, he threatened my career?”
“Right before the party, he came to me and told me that I had to end things with you. If I didn’t, he would contact the Admiral and have you dishonorably discharged. He said he would ruin you. I couldn’t let him do that to you. Your career was everything to you. So, I did what he demanded.” Beth could see Devin’s anger returning and she looked down to her lap, unable to meet his gaze.
“How could he do that? I have nothing in my military career that would warrant a dishonorable discharge. But most importantly, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared of what my father might have done. You would have confronted him. I couldn’t allow you to risk everything for me,” she had to get him to understand. Everything she did, she did it for him.
“My career meant nothing Beth. You meant more to me than my damn job! How could you have not known that? And then never telling me about Derek?” he was definitely angry.
Deciding to ignore his questions, she continued. “Then, three months later I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to tell you. I picked up the phone to call you a million times. But my father’s words would come back into my head and I would put the phone back down. He would say that ‘accidents’ happen during war all the time. And he would hate for you to have one. I couldn’t risk it. So I never told you.” Beth hung her head. She was so ashamed of herself. She took eight years away from both Devin and Derek. Eight years neither could get back.