Chapter 10
Shazuul recovers surprisingly quickly, and as we near Earth, I change the bandage for the first time, so I can see my handiwork.
The wound has healed very well, and the patient is pain-free. Shazuul has spent the last three days in my room. Nobody has dared to question the scientist’s daughter, and I take advantage of the fear that my father’s name awakens. For there is one thing I have learned: all of them, from the kitchen boy and the officers to the guards, they all fear Dr. Ruthiel and therefore, also me. The realization is not pleasant, and I wonder how I could have been so blind. Did I not want to notice that conversations stopped every time I came into a room? Or how people flinched from my touch, as if I would bring them the plague, death and ruin? Even my cyborg awakens less unpleasant feelings in them than I do.
The day before we reach Earth’s orbit, we gather one more time for a conference. Hazathel, Shazuul, Johar and I. When I look at the four of us, I am well aware that we are freaks. Since I gave the Sethari a new sucking snout, the atmosphere among us has changed dramatically. Hazathel was always polite to me, but when he sees me for the first time since Shazuul’s surgery, something astonishing happens. He picks me up, spins me around through the air like a little child, and gives me a big kiss on my forehead. Even the sounds coming from his poisonous scorpion sound friendly. Before I can recover my dignity after this unexpected attack (I think I hollered and giggled), he puts me down and whispers only these words: “Thank you.” I nod at him, with a lump in my throat, and tell everyone that we should get down to business. “After all, we have a lot to discuss.”
At first, we discuss together, if we should bring Shazuul down to Earth with us. As a doctor, I am strictly against it, but am overruled by the other three. “Then I will have to bring my doctor’s kit, for sure, and one of you will have to carry it,” I insist. We grin amicably, before things turn serious. Johar tell us exactly where the pirate captain dropped Cassie off, and suggests that we land very near there.
“We should skip the official registration this time,” he recommends.
I frown. “But why? We have nothing to hide. We are on official business. You have permission to set foot on Earth, and so do we.” One look at their faces tells me everything. “Johar, you didn’t by any chance, neglect to obtain residence permits for you, Shazuul and Hazathel, did you?”
Cyborgs are only allowed to be on Earth by special permission, just like all other strangers. I close my eyes, and realize that he didn’t neglect to get the permit. “You did that on purpose,” I say. Nobody answers me, but then they don’t need to.
“Your agreement,” I say and look at Hazathel, “wouldn’t happen to be that you immigrate illegally, so that nobody knows that you are visiting your family, would it?” The scorpion’s excited rattling gives me my answer. I sigh dramatically and put my head in my hands. “Fine,” I continue. “I assume that we are going to start our search for Cassie Burnett, and that Hazathel will at some point … go missing.” When I say Cassie’s name, Shazuul gets very excited. I think he likes her. God knows why. Further difficulties come to mind. What will happen when we have the woman and want to take her to my father’s lab? For the first time, I don’t view the idea of turning over a pregnant woman over to my father for experiments neutrally. Something like unease creeps into my heart, but this time, I do not push it to the side. I examine it, instead. Where is it coming from? I really must have changed, if I am no longer willing to do my father’s bidding without thinking. I realize something else. “I can understand,” I say slowly, “that Hazathel and Shazuul don’t want to be officially registered. But why not you?” I look at Johar. He and Hazathel exchange a look I don’t like. The eyebrows going up meaningfully, the shaking of the head and the inconspicuous exchange of information – all of those things that make others feel excluded.
Johar has his own plans and they have something to do with Cassie and her unborn children. He asked me if I trusted him. Now we have arrived at the point where I have to demonstrate if I really do. Either I can put my foot down and make everything official, or I can keep silent and show him that I trust him.
The buzzing of the communications’ device saves me from having to answer. I turn the screen on, and position it so only I and the cyborg are visible. It is, as the red blinking light tells me, my father. My heart starts to beat wildly in fear, anger and so many other feelings, and it is hard for me to get my racing pulse under control. Johar reaches for my sweaty hand underneath the table and squeezes it quickly. I check my appearance in the black screen one last time, making sure that all of my blue lines are still covered, and then I push “Receive.”
“Father,” I say neutrally, or at least, I hope I do. My smile probably appears thinner than usual, but he usually doesn’t pay attention to such things. I don’t know what I was expecting, but he looks and talks just the same as always. It is shocking. The circles under his eyes might be a little darker than I remember them, the wrinkles around his mouth more pronounced and the expression in his gray eyes colder. But that may be because of the change in my perspective, too.
“What is the status of your efforts?” he asks and makes no mention of the fact that I have been trying desperately to reach him. Johar and I take turns reporting how far we have come. When Johar tells him that Cassie Burnett and her companions are on Earth, my father’s gaze sharpens. “Where did they land, and when?”
Somewhere near New York, about three months ago,” Johar reports. Am I making this up, or is he being purposefully vague? A cyborg cannot lie, I remind myself. But if Johar has learned anything in his fifty years, it’s skilled evasion and withholding information. My father seems not to notice, and even if he does, he shows no interest.
“Excellent,” he says, highly satisfied. I hear noise in the background. He turns around and makes a sign at someone whom I cannot see. “Your assignment is now fulfilled. Mara, come back here with Johar. I am not too far from you, and will send the coordinates to you shortly.”
I try hard to keep all emotions out of my voice. “Does this mean that you want to join us on the hunt for Cassie Burnett? You are coming with us to Earth?” My thoughts are racing. How are we supposed to smuggle Hazathel and Shazuul secretly to Earth, if my father and his troops are with us? We will need to think of something. I realize that I am starting to sweat, and stop myself from wiping my hand over my face and smearing the cream everywhere.
“Not exactly,” my father corrects me. His voice sounds friendly and cold at the same time, as if he has discovered a secret that brings him immense joy. I have chills all over. This is not good. Something is brewing, right over our heads. Something that can pull us with it and swallow us whole if we are not careful. “It is correct that I am traveling to Earth, accompanied by Johar.” He pauses. His gray eyes stare into mine, and I grow cold. Here comes the final blow. “You, on the other hand, will stay on the mother ship. I have to put you under quarantine and examine you.” I can’t help flinching. The memory of the cold operating table and the shiny scalpel flood over me, and narrow my vision until I see nothing else, other than the face on the monitor.
“No,” I stammer. “You can’t do that.” He is punishing me, I think. But it gets worse.
“I can, and I will,” my father replies casually. “You have disappointed me, Mara. I had such high hopes for you. And what did you do? You think you are in love. You did the dirty deed, and more than once,” his whole face contorts into a grimace of disgust. Has he always had an aversion to sex, or did that come with age? Did he adopt me because he couldn’t handle being intimate with a woman?
“No,” I say. Suddenly, I realize what I have to do. I stand up. Before I turn off the monitor, and sever all communication with him, I need to say one more thing. “The days of me obeying you blindly are over, Father. I have grown up. I am a self-sufficient person. I make my own decisions. I am deciding, here and now, that I have had enough of you. Good-bye, Father.” I reach for the button to cut the connection, when something in his face grabs my attention. He is smiling.
I think not, Mara,” he says. You know what you need to do,” he says, and at first, it doesn’t dawn on me that he is talking to my cyborg. My fingers hover over the button that will separate me from my father. I stare at him, frozen. How can he be so sure of himself?
Johar gets up and stands behind me. His long fingers reach into my hair tenderly, and I am happy that he has the courage to defy my father. I think he wants to show him that we belong together. And then I start to wonder, what his fingers are looking for on my scalp. He presses his index finger into my skull. The world goes pale. Through an ever-narrowing tunnel, I see my father’s satisfied smile. The last thing I hear are the words coming from my cyborg, who leans down towards me and whispers two words.
“Trust me.”