Chapter 27
Seth
“What?” Josie cried out. “What did you just say?”
I couldn’t look at Josie. Not right now. Apollo closed his eyes while Hera tipped forward once more.
“Are you sure?” Hera demanded. “If you speak the words once more, it will set in motion a chain of events you cannot stop. Your death is the end. Gods do not go to Tartarus. Our end is the final end. When we die, we cease to exist.”
“Seth! Please, stop.” Josie pulled on my arm, her voice cracking with anguish.
I grasped her hand, holding on. “If I do this, you will make damn sure that Josie wants for nothing. That she will be safe and our child will be safe.”
“I will ensure it myself,” Zeus spoke.
“Seth!” Josie darted in front of me, clasping my cheeks. She forced my gaze to hers. “You do not need to do this. Don’t you understand me? This is not how this—”
“This is what I have to do, psychí mou.” I lightly gripped her wrists, pulling her hands from my face. “It’s the only way to end this.”
Tears glimmered in her eyes. “It cannot be the only way.”
“Josie,” Apollo called out.
She stiffened and then slowly turned to face her father. She didn’t speak as her chest rose and fell sharply.
“If he does not do this, there will be nothing but destruction and death. Millions will die, and that is before Cronus forces Seth’s hand. The Titans will come for you, and Seth will kill Cronus.” Apollo rose from his throne. “Tens of millions will then die as his death rocks the earth from its very core. I have foreseen it.”
A long, tense moment passed, and then Josie said, “Now? Now you dare to speak to me?”
Energy crackled dangerously, and the rush of power wasn’t coming from me. It was all Josie.
Artemis shifted in her throne as a look of unease settled into her expression.
“I am sorry,” Apollo said.
Josie sucked in air as she tried to step forward, but I held her wrist. “You knew?” she demanded. “Did you know this all along? From the very beginning? You knew how this would end?”
Apollo looked away.
I thought for a moment Josie might explode, but she seemed to rein it all in. “I hate you.”
I pulled Josie back against my chest as Apollo sat down. I turned her to me, but she yanked herself free. Stepping back, she wrapped her arms around her chest. She stared at the floor of the temple, breathing raggedly.
Drawing in a ragged breath, I dragged my gaze to Zeus. “I will make the sacrifice.”
“Then so be it.”
Josie’s muffled cry faded as a male appeared before the gods. I’d never seen him before. He was young. Possibly a teenager. His eyes were…well, he didn’t have eyes. Where they should’ve been, there was nothing but sunken-in skin. He held an open case, and resting inside was an icicle-shaped dagger. The wickedly sharp point was a different color, as if it had been dipped in something.
“The dagger is an ancient one,” Athena said, her voice cautious. “Fashioned from Thanatos’s sword, it is deadly.”
“You will have until sundown to complete the sacrifice.” Zeus rose from his throne and stepped off the dais. “We will know when it is done.”
My eyes burned, but it wasn’t because of what I was going to do to myself, but what I knew it was going to do to Josie.
Zeus picked up the dagger and offered it to me, handle first. As I took it, he leaned in and whispered for only me to hear, “Your son will think of you with great pride.”
~
Josie
It was like being stuck in a waking nightmare. Everything was a blur and at the same time startlingly sharp and clear. I was vaguely aware of Seth coming toward me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me against him. I didn’t fight him this time, and when I took my next breath we were no longer in the Pantheon, but we were back in the dorm room we shared.
Seth let go and stepped back from me. I watched him place the dagger on the bed.
He didn’t take his eyes off me. “Josie—”
“Why?” I whispered, his face blurring as a rush of raw tears blinded me. I was so pissed off at him, so furious, and at the same time I was horrified. I was shocked, and none of this—none of this seemed real.
“This is not what I want,” he said. “Gods, Josie, this is not how I thought today was going to go.”
“You didn’t?” I laughed, and it sounded broken. Wiping at my cheeks, I walked to the bed and sat down. “This isn’t right.”
Seth came to me and knelt on the floor. He looked up at me, but I could barely look at him, because if I did, I would completely break down. “You can’t do this.”
“I have to,” he said, holding my hands. “It’s the only way.”
I lowered my head. “How can you be sure of that?”
A long moment passed before he answered. “It’s crazy, but I know this…this is right. This is what my entire life has been leading to—”
“You honestly believe your entire life has been leading up to the moment where you can sacrifice yourself?”
“Yes and no.” He placed his hand on my cheek, guiding my head up. “My life really didn’t have much meaning until I met you. I always hated the idea of fate, but it feels like this is fate. It makes sense.”
Hands shaking, I clutched my knees. “It doesn’t make any sense, Seth.”
His sharp intake of breath cut through me. “Babe…”
“No. It doesn’t make sense. At all,” I said, gripping my knees until my nails bit into my skin. It took several tries for me to say it, and when I did it was barely a whisper. “We were supposed to have forever.”
Seth closed his eyes.
“We were going to defeat the Titans and then we were going to come back here. We were going to pick a room for our child and we were going to do normal things, like shop for baby stuff, and let Deacon throw us a baby shower. We were going to be together.” My voice cracked. “And you were going to be there when I had our child. You’d be there. You wouldn’t be dead.”
Seth’s fingers slipped from my cheeks as he rose. Turning, he dragged his hand through his hair.
“There…there has to be another way,” I insisted. “This has to be some kind of twisted test that we have to figure out.” I stood, my knees shaking. “Maybe that’s all this is. Some kind of sick test and we can figure this out, right? We—”
“It is a test, Josie.” He faced me, his sculptured face painfully open. My breath caught at the finality in his expression, and I shook my head, already knowing what he was going to say. “There is no other way. Apollo was right. If I don’t stop this now, it will end with me killing Cronus.”
“So, what?” I demanded. “Then we kill him—”
“I know you do not want that, not when millions will die.”
“Then kill Zeus! That’s still on the table. We kill Zeus and then we take his head to Cronus.”
“No.” He caught my shoulders, holding me still. “That is not who I am anymore.”
Panic clawed through me. “If I had to kill—”
“I want my child to grow up knowing I made the right choice. I want my child to think of me and be filled with pride,” he said, drawing me to him. “I want our child to look up to me. Killing Zeus isn’t going to do that. Neither is killing Cronus.”
“I won’t let you do this, Seth. I can’t.”
“You have to. I know you don’t want me to. And that you don’t want to hear this.” He grasped my face, tilting my head back. “But there is no other way.”
I couldn’t stop the tears as I grasped the collar of Seth’s shirt and pressed against him. His arms circled me, holding on to me just as fiercely as I gripped him. “Do you want to die?” I whispered. “Is that it?”
“Gods, no. All I’ve ever wanted to do is be good enough for you—for our child.” Seth smoothed his hand down my hair, cupping the back of my neck. He pressed his lips against my damp cheek. “And if I have to give up my life to make sure you and our child have a long one in a better world, then I will gladly do it.”
“You are good enough, Seth. You already are.”
“I will be,” he said quietly.
Crying out, I pushed him away. “That’s not right! You can’t be okay with this.” I backed away from him, keeping my hands up as if I could ward off what he was saying. “You’re just going to give up?”
“I’m not giving up, psychí mou.” Pain shone in his eyes, pain for me and not him. “I’m telling you that I know this must be done.”
“No!” I screamed it even as it slowly started to sink it. There was no way out of this, not when he saw this as a way to ensure the future for me and our child. “Seth, please. Don’t you want to see your child?”
He grabbed me, pulling me into his arms. “I saw…I saw our child’s heartbeat.” His voice thickened. “That’s going to be… It has to be enough and it is. It’s more than I ever could’ve hoped for.”
The finality of this slammed into me. This was happening. There was no way out of this. He was going to do it, and I broke. Deep, soul-crushing sobs racked my body as Seth held me. I buried my face into his chest, gripping his shirt once again.
“Shh, psychí mou, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” He rocked me gently soothing me as each sob tore me apart from the inside out. “I’m here. It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t okay. It would never be okay. Never again.
He placed his lips against my temple. “We still have right now, psychí mou. And we’ll have forever in our memories.”
I pulled back, unable to catch my breath against the pressure clamping down on my chest. “Right now,” I whispered.
He smiled, running his fingers along my bottom lip. “We have right now. By the time the sun sets, it…it needs to be done.”
I started to protest, because I needed more time, but I listened to him. I heard him even though it felt like I was dying.
Right now—the beginning of what would be the end.
I captured his hand and closed my eyes, placing a kiss against his fingertip. Right now was all we had. Grief exploded, tearing me apart again. I had never known such pain that wasn’t psychical, not even after I learned that my grandparents or my mom had died. No. This was so much more. Like dying inside, piece by piece until there was nothing left of me.
I drew in a shuddering breath and released his hand. Reaching down, I grabbed the bottom of his shirt. Quickly, I pulled the material up over his shoulders, letting it slip to the floor. Then without words, I moved to the button on his pants. They too fell to the floor.
Starting with his chin, I kissed every square inch of his flesh until I was on my knees before him. If all we had was right now, then I would give him everything I had in me. Everything.
“Josie,” Seth breathed unsteadily, threading his fingers through my hair as I took him in my hands first, holding him tight as I moved my hand wickedly slow.
When his breath sucked in sharply, I took him into my mouth as I drew my hand back. His hips thrust up, but I didn’t hurry and I didn’t worry for one second about how inexperienced I was at this. That didn’t matter. Between warm breaths, I teased him with my tongue before taking him in once more, as far as I could. I flattened my tongue to draw him out, working him slowly until the sounds of his rough groans overshadowed my pounding heart.
With a near-feral sound, he gripped my shoulders and pulled me away, lifting me up to claim my mouth. He walked me back, removing my dress and bra with amazing quickness. Guiding me onto my back, I lifted my hips as he tugged my panties off with one sweep.
Molten lava shot through my veins as his heated gaze met mine. Need pulsed through me, dizzying as heat pooled between my thighs. There was a roaring in my ears as he knelt on the bed, his large hands on either side of my thighs. He lowered his head, his mouth blazing a path from my thigh to the most intimate part of me, and my back arched clear off the bed.
Seth captured my hands, holding them down as his tongue delved deep, teasing me until I moved unashamedly against his mouth, tipping my hips up and spreading my thighs. His name leaked out from my lips, over and over again like a whispered prayer.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he let go of my wrists, and I took control. Rolling him onto his back, I climbed up his hard body, kissing him with everything I had. Then, only after I had tasted every crevice of his mouth did I move down his body, slowly inching down on his thick length.
I placed my hands on his chest, grinding down. I gave him everything I was feeling, every part of my being. Words, for me, were not enough to describe how much I loved him. Not enough to tell him how much losing him was going to kill me. I used my body to show him how deep my love ran, and I prayed that it was enough. That he could feel it. That he knew it.
Seth sat up in one fluid motion, cupped the back of my head as he thrusted. “You’ve always been the best of me, Josie. I love you.”
The tears fell again. There was no stopping them as I wrapped my arms around him. Our bodies moved as one, hearts pounded in sync. He kissed me, devoured me as if he hoped to take my taste with him.
He quickened his strokes. Our breathing turned ragged as we clutched at one another desperately. In a searing burst of pleasure, we came together. Minutes passed as he held me tenderly, our bodies still joined together, and then I felt him hardening. I lifted my head from his chest and looked at him questioningly.
Without saying a word, he rolled me onto my back. He smoothed his thumb over my parted lips as he started to move with slow, unhurried strokes that burned my body. Lifting my hips, I crossed my legs over his hips and took him in deeper.
His pace picked up, surging over and over, going deeper and deeper until I didn’t know where he ended and I began. This seemed so right. So perfect. And it wasn’t fair what had to be done. It wasn’t right.
The release shattered through my body and heart. I cried out as his body jerked against mine. And when we both came back down to earth, we started all over again. I was desperate to remember the feel of his skin against mine, the way it tasted and felt and smelled. Using my hands, my tongue, I worshipped every inch of him, and still it wasn’t enough.
It would never be enough.
He pulled me into his lap, sliding in with one stroke. I moaned. “You’re so beautiful and you’re so strong. Don’t ever forget that. No matter what. Never forget that.”
Tears pricked my eyes until they blinded me. “Seth…”
“Promise me.” He cupped the back of my head, exposing my throat so that he could rain kisses down the length of my neck. Again and again, we made love to each other until the first shadows started to bleed through the windows.
And then it was time.
Wrapping myself around Seth, I sobbed against his skin. My insides were twisted, cold. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
He cradled me to his chest. “You don’t have to. I’m not going to do it here. I’ll leave. It’ll be easier that way.”
I leaned back, placing my hands on his shoulders. “How can you be okay with this?”
“Easy.” He kissed the tip of my nose and brushed my tears away with the back of his hand. “I love you. And love is selfless.”
That only made me cry all the harder, because I had never been selfless in my love. Never. “You don’t deserve this.”
A faint smile curved his lips. “Some would say this was a long time coming.” Seth gently placed me on the bed and sat up. He gazed at the dagger for several seconds. “I’m going to leave. You don’t have to—”
Panic erupted as I scrambled onto my knees. “No—no! Don’t leave. Please. I can be here.” I pulled it together, brushing the tears off my cheek. “I can be here.”
He looked at me. “I don’t want you to see this.”
“And I don’t want you to be alone.” Sliding off the bed, I picked up my dress and tugged it on, my heart pounding and my stomach churning. I faced him. “Please. Please don’t leave. I need to be here. I need—” I drew in a slow breath. “I need to be here for you. I need to be a part of this.”
“Josie…”
“I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.” And that was the truth. I squared my shoulders. “I will help you.”
Seth closed his eyes briefly, and for a moment I thought he was going to tell me no, but then he nodded. He stood and picked the dagger up. “Then it’s time.”
Slowly, numbly, I stood as he knelt on the floor beside the bed. I followed him down, pressing my body against his. “I don’t want you to… I don’t want you to…go,” I said, because I couldn’t force myself to say the correct word.
“I know.” Seth kissed my tear-soaked lips and pulled back far enough that his breath warmed the space between them. “Close your eyes.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, but the tears still leaked through. My heart completely ripped open, beyond repair. Out of everything that I’d experienced, this was the one thing that would kill me. We would defeat the Titans and save millions of lives, but I’d never be the same. A huge part of me would die a slow death, because I no longer knew what life was without Seth.
But I wrapped my hands around his.
And his hands were wrapped around the dagger
“I love you,” he whispered hoarsely, pressing the sharp edge against his chest, above his heart. “I will always love you.”
A ragged sound escaped me, more animal than human as I opened my eyes. “I love you. Oh God, I love you so much.”
“I know. I know, Josie.”
“And I will tell our child all about you. Every day. Every second, I will tell our child how great you were and how much you loved them,” I said, taking short, broken breaths. “Our child will know you. I promise.”
“Thank you.” Seth shuddered. “I love you.”
Hands trembling around his, I felt him pull back, and at the last minute instinct took over. I tried to stop him, but it was…it was too late.
I screamed as he impaled the dagger deep into his chest, and the last thing I saw was his eyes, those beautiful amber-colored eyes. I thought I saw a flicker of surprise.
Then there was a flash of bright light that momentarily blinded me, followed by an intense blast of heat. I pitched forward as the dagger slipped from my lifeless fingers.
I was alone.
I curled into myself, a scream of vast agony and despair still pouring from me, tearing from my very soul.
Seth hadn’t even made a sound, ensuring that the last words I’d ever remember him saying were him saying that he loved me, and now…he was gone.
Seth was gone.