CHAPTER TWELVE
WILLOW HAD FORGOTTEN that in all the years they’d been friends, Zane had only been in her apartment once, and that was last night when he’d dropped her off. It had been dark, and he’d been solely focused on her. There was no way he’d noticed anything else. She rarely thought of him as a wealthy actor, but it was hard not to realize it as he was standing in her one-bedroom apartment, which she was sure paled in comparison to the mansion he must live in. Piper and their father had done an amazing job of making it feel open and airy when she’d renovated, by adding cathedral ceilings and keeping the kitchen open to the living room, separated only by a breakfast bar. The recessed lighting, cream-colored walls with white moldings, and neutral furniture gave the space a cohesive feel. Of course, Willow being the pastry lover she was, she’d added mint and peach accent pillows for a splash of color.
What would Zane think of her cozy nest?
His gaze coasted to the windows overlooking the lake and fell to the couch below, where the yearbook she’d been poring over last night like a lovesick teenager sat like a beacon to her heart’s desire. Her pulse kicked up. Could she casually pick up the yearbook and slip it beneath a pillow without him realizing it?
“Love your place, Wills.”
“Um, thanks. Why don’t you put your stuff in the bedroom?” She motioned to the door to their right and moved in front of him, hoping to block his view of the couch.
His eyes flicked over her shoulder, and his lips curved up in a knowing grin.
“Wills.” He stepped closer, his arms circling her waist. “Were you feeling nostalgic last night?” He nuzzled his scruffy face against her neck, sparking a rippling effect of shivers and heat.
She touched her forehead to his shoulder, sheepishly answering, “Maybe.”
He pressed a kiss to her neck, took her face between both his hands, and put his warm, moist lips on hers, kissing her as he smiled.
“I love that,” he whispered. “Don’t be embarrassed about drooling over your man.”
She laughed and crossed the room to pick up the yearbook. “I wasn’t drooling. I was cursing.” She reached for it, and he grabbed her by the waist from behind and sank down to the couch, bringing her onto his lap.
“Cursing? That doesn’t sound like a girl who’s in love.” He reached for the yearbook, and she pulled it away.
“Remember, this was last night, when your confession came on the heels of the most incredible sex I’ve ever had. So there was all this lust and confusion tangled up with the other stuff.”
“Go on.” He nipped at her lips. “I’m liking the ‘most incredible sex’ part.”
She laughed again, and couldn’t remember ever having as many happy moments with any man as she’d had in the last two days with Zane. Despite the turmoil, he was, bar none, the man who made her heart sing.
“It sounds exactly like a girl who is madly in love but has tried to ignore her feelings for so long it’s clawing at every inch of her soul to be set free.” She snuggled against his chest and draped an arm over his shoulder, speaking softer. “And then she remembered the pain of the past, and it chained that love to the wall, leaving the lovesick girl in a constant battle of wanting the infuriating man and being afraid of the emotions he incited.”
He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her again, dipping into her mouth like a flower blooms, gentle yet certain of its ability to consume the sun’s rays. The yearbook fell from her fingers as he took the kiss deeper. She loved the way his kisses forced her to abandon all thought and become one with him. He knew when to be rough, when to be tender, and not a single second of their kisses felt forced or practiced. These kisses were beautifully real, making them that much sweeter.
“Baby,” he breathed, gathering her hair over one shoulder. “When you want to curse me, do it to my face. We’re feeling, Wills, and I’m not going to let either of us screw this up by keeping secrets about anything.”
How did he know exactly what she needed to hear?
“I want to know when I piss you off so I can fix it or argue about it, and I want to know when I turn you on.” He pulled the neckline of her shirt down and kissed the center of her breastbone. Her body pulsed with desire. “I want to strip away all the bullshit and get to the bottom of who we are. The good, the bad, and the frustrating.”
She couldn’t breathe. She felt like she was standing outside her body, watching a movie she’d wished for forever.
“And you’re looking at me like you’re not sure if I’m acting or not.” He picked up the yearbook and sighed. “I don’t blame you. Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing between the two.”
He pulled her closer.
“I actually wasn’t thinking that I don’t believe you. I was thinking that you knew exactly what I needed to hear. But the fact that you can’t distinguish between real and fiction is a little scary.”
“No, it’s not, baby. It would be if I wasn’t aware of it.” He flipped through the yearbook to the drama club picture. “Do you know why I became an actor?”
“You said you loved everything about it, and you couldn’t wait to get to Hollywood, to live a bigger, better life.” She gazed down at the picture of the boy she’d fallen so hard for. It seemed strange to admit to herself now, but his senior year had been the year she’d dreaded the most. She’d expected to see less of him as he matured toward manhood while she was still finding her footing in that space between awkward and confident. But that hadn’t happened. Even though Zane had been the varsity football team captain, mentoring junior varsity players, with cheerleaders fawning all over him, he still took the time to talk to her after football games, if only for a minute. He’d flash a smile and say something like, Glad you made it. She hadn’t thought about those times in years, but now she remembered how he’d look in her direction between plays, and for a beat the rest of the kids had faded away. Had she always romanticized their friendship?
“That’s what I told everyone,” Zane said, pulling her from her memories. “But do you want to know the rest of the story?” He flipped through the yearbook to the picture of the football team.
“Of course.”
His eyes remained trained on the photograph. He and Ben stood in the back of the picture, both of them tall and dark, their faces masks of cool confidence that boys of almost eighteen possessed.
“Growing up, I always felt like I was putting on an act, you know? Trying to fit in and make up for the things I lacked.”
“Everyone does. That’s part of figuring out who you are.”
He lifted his eyes to hers. “You didn’t. You’ve always been real.”
“Only because I sucked at faking it.” She thought about that for a minute, and she realized that wasn’t exactly true. “Actually, I didn’t really suck at it, so I haven’t always been real.” She flipped through the yearbook until she reached her class picture and pointed to the picture of herself. She’d always worn her hair long, but she’d had bangs back then. “That girl had been crushing on you for years, and I did a pretty good job of keeping that to myself.”
He laughed. “No, you didn’t.”
“What? Yes, I definitely did.” She bumped him with her shoulder. “You had no idea.”
“No?” An amused smile lifted his lips.
“Oh my God. Piper was right.” She covered her face with her hands. “How embarrassing!”
“Why? I was totally into you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”
“Wills, are you kidding me? Do you know what kind of torture it was when you tutored me? Have you ever tried to concentrate with a raging hard-on?”
She gasped, laughing. “You did not have a raging hard-on! Please don’t tell me Piper was right about that, too. She said you were really good at math and just trying to hook up with me.”
“I did, too. Every damn time. But your sister is wrong. I sucked at math, geography, history, and English, which was another reason I felt like I needed to pretend to be something I wasn’t.” He closed the yearbook and set it on the coffee table. “But she was right about my being into you. I was definitely crushing on you.”
“Holy shit, Z. You’ve just turned my entire world upside down. All those years I got excited when you’d talk to me, or look at me, or . . .”
“Or throw every football with the hopes that you’d be impressed?”
She stared, speechless.
“Don’t look so shocked. You were funny and ballsy and so smart, baby. God, I was in awe of you. And you were the prettiest girl in Sweetwater. Still are.”
She shook her head to try to snap out of the surprise and overwhelming happiness that consumed her. “I was gawky and awkward.”
“You were beautiful and adorable.” The loving smile he flashed warmed her from the top of her head to the ends of her toes and all the best places in between. “But Piper was also wrong. I wasn’t trying to hook up. In fact, it was just the opposite. I had to study with you, because your mother suggested it when she found out I was failing math. How could I tell your mother no? She treated me like her own son. But trust me, the last thing I wanted to do was hook up with you.”
“Gee, thanks,” she said, only half teasing.
“Come on, Wills. You were my best friend’s little sister. If anyone was ever off-limits, it was you.”
She sank back against the cushions, her mouth open. “You liked me.”
“I liked you.”
“You got hard for me,” she said with great satisfaction.
“I jerked off to thoughts of you.” He shifted his hips.
“Ew!” She smacked his arm, then bit her lower lip as she thought about it. “Really? That’s kind of hot.”
Laughter sailed from his lungs. “God I love you.” He crushed his mouth to hers, laughing and kissing at once. “I’ll jerk off for you anytime you want.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
He touched his forehead to hers and said, “Good. I never told you what you’d be doing while I was jerking off.”
He pushed a hand between her legs, rubbing her through her jeans, and she felt herself go damp. Her eyes dropped to the outline of his rigid cock beneath his jeans. “I love when you talk dirty,” she whispered, and he made a low, gravelly sound in his throat.
“Don’t tell me that.” His jaw tightened. “We’re too good at crossing lines.”
“I crossed a big line for you. Cross this one for me. Don’t hold ba—”
Her words were smothered in his demanding mouth, which was exactly what she needed to bridge the gap between the fear she hoped to leave behind and the trust she needed to move forward. He continued rubbing her through her jeans, stroking her into a greedy frenzy of need and want as he ravaged her mouth. When he used his broad chest to push her down to the couch, she went willingly, spreading her legs to accommodate his powerful hips. He grabbed her hands, pressing them into the cushion as he ground his hips in a maddening rhythm, matching every penetrating stroke of his tongue.
“I need you naked,” he said, tugging her shirt up. “I need to have my mouth on you.”
Her body quivered. “Yes,” she panted out, rising off the cushion.
He tore off her shirt and hesitated for only a second before reading the approval in her expression and removing her bra. Perched on his knees between her legs, he tugged his shirt off and tossed it aside. His eyes rolled over her face, full of love and burning with desire. His gaze traveled lower, lingering on her breasts. Goose bumps chased the heat of his stare, pebbling her nipples into burning peaks. She felt more vulnerable now than she had on the island. This wasn’t a game, driven solely by passion. This was truth and honesty twining together, bound by a ribbon of hope and trust.
“Christ, baby. Every time I look at you you’re more gorgeous than the last.” He brushed his hand over her stomach, causing her insides to clench and burn. “I can’t do this here. I want too much of you.”
He moved off the couch and took her hand, bringing her up in front of him. Her breasts grazed his chest, sending white-hot sparks darting through her veins.
With a finger beneath her chin, he lifted her eyes to his. “You’re the sweetest thing.”
“I’m your sweetest thing.”
She took his hand and led him to her bedroom, leading him away from their past and welcoming him into her future.
WILLOW’S WORDS BURNED into Zane’s mind. He’d waited a lifetime to hear her say that she was his. He followed her into the bedroom, taking in the yellow walls and white trim, distressed furniture in muted shades of blue and green, built-in bookshelves flanking the doors to the balcony, and a king-size bed with a fluffy white blanket. He took her in his arms, her soft green eyes gazing up at him with wonder and trust and so much love he wanted to fall into them.
“I’ve fantasized about what your bedroom looked like and imagined it hundreds of different ways. But each and every time, one thing remained consistent.”
“Tell me.” She touched his chest, sending lust straight to his core.
“I was always in it.” He lowered his lips to hers, breathing her in. “I promise you don’t have to be afraid.” He took her hands and guided them to the button on his jeans, knowing that even though she was telling him to play dirty, she still needed to know she had some power. “You are who I want. You are who I have always wanted.”
A sexy sound escaped her lips.
He grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and tossed it on the bed, covered her hands with his, and helped her undo the button on his jeans. He pushed them off and stepped out of his briefs. There were many dirty things he wanted to do, to say, to experience with her, but he knew she was still scared despite her plea for crossing another line. Allowing her to leave her jeans on made him more vulnerable than her, and he hoped—God, he hoped—that nugget of fear in her eyes would dissipate.
“Touch me, baby,” he said, desperate for her. “I want your hands on me.”
She pressed her hands to his chest, and her lips followed. She was shaking as she kissed his pecs and slicked her tongue over his nipple. His hard length twitched between them. Her hands moved down his back, and she clenched his ass as she sealed her mouth over his nipple and sucked. His hips bucked forward, white-hot pleasures tearing through him.
“That’s it, baby.” He wound her hair around his hand. “Suck harder. I love your mouth.”
His muscles tightened as she sucked and licked, giving the same attention to the other side of his chest. Grinding his teeth with every slick of her tongue, he rocked against her belly. “Feel how hard you make me.”
Her hands gripped his sides as she kissed a path down the center of his stomach. Then she went up on her toes, reaching for his mouth. He tugged her head back, taking her in a kiss as roughly as he wanted to make love to her. He sucked her tongue into his mouth, showing her what he wanted next, pushed a hand between her legs, and rubbed her through her jeans.
“Touch me, Z. I need you to touch me.”
“Oh, I’m going to touch you.” He kissed her softer, loving how she craned up for more. “I’m going to touch you, and taste you, and love you until the sun comes up.”
He filled his hands with her breasts, and she inhaled sharply.
“I want to bury my cock between these gorgeous breasts that you’ve always hated, and not because I’m a boob man. I’m a Willow man. And I want to love every inch of you. I want you to feel how much I love you in the way I touch you and obliterate all your fears.” As he lowered his mouth and teased one taut peak, he watched her reaction, gauging how much dirty talk she could take.
Her eyes darkened, narrowed. Her fingers dug into his sides, and her lips curved up in a sinful grin. “What are you waiting for?”
Oh, hell yes. “In a hurry?”
“Only for you.”
The challenge in her eyes turned him on beyond comprehension. He sucked her breast into his mouth, working the button of her jeans with his free hand. He hooked his hands into either side of her waistband and yanked her pants down to her knees.
“Leave them on,” he demanded, loving the inferno blazing in her eyes as he pushed his hand between her legs and plunged two fingers deep inside her, taking her in a rough, possessive kiss.
She moaned as he sought the magical spot that would bring her up on her toes. Her fingernails dug into his skin as she clung to him, murmuring into the kiss. He brought his thumb into play, teasing her clit as he intensified the kiss even more. Her thighs tightened around his hand, and he knew she was close. He tore his mouth away and clamped it over her breast, sucking her nipple hard enough to send her over the edge.
“Z—oh God. Don’t stop. Harder. Oh my God.”
He loved her through her panting pleas, through the peak, until the very last pulse of her climax. She went limp against him. He lifted her into his arms and strode to the bed. Pulling the pretty blanket to the foot of the bed, he laid her down and rid her of her jeans. She blinked up at him, looking sated and so very trusting it filled him to the brim. His desire to be dirty took a backseat to his need to take her in his arms and love her with all of the tenderness she deserved.
“More dirty talk, please,” she said as sweetly as if she’d said, Please pass the sugar.
“You sure, baby? We don’t have to—”
“I’ve never done dirty talk, and I trust you, Z. I want to do everything with you. I want you to do what you said you wanted to do. To put your”—her eyes dropped to his throbbing cock—“between the girls. I want to let go of all my fears and put it all out on the table.”
He grinned at the thought of her spread-eagle on a table.
“We are not having sex on my table.” She curled her finger, motioning for him to come closer.
“Christ, I’ll never be able to deny you a damn thing.” He propped up pillows at the head of the bed. “Get comfy, precious girl.”
She scrambled up to the head of the bed with a wide smile and leaned back against the pillows like he’d just offered her an ice-cream cone. Her long blond hair cascaded over her breasts. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes locked on his, anticipation glittering back at him. She was his every fantasy come true, only better. Because she was Willow, and she was finally his.
He shook his head slowly. “Touch yourself for me, dirty girl.”
She trapped her lower lip between her teeth, and a second later it sprang free. “You first.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d really want to play this game.” Boy, was he wrong. He held out his hand. “Lick my palm, sweetheart.”
Just watching her lick him was erotic. He fisted his cock, giving it a long, tight stroke. He lifted her hand and sucked two fingers into his mouth, leaving them glistening as he guided them between her legs. Her skin flushed, and she touched herself tentatively, watching him stroke himself.
“Come on, baby. Show me how you like it.”
She slid a little lower on the pillows and began moving her fingers quicker, breathing harder, and he was right there with her. Lust pooled at the base of his spine. Knowing how much she trusted him, how much he loved her, made everything more intense.
“Now will you do it?”
Her plea pulled him from the fog of lust consuming him. “Make love to you?”
She shook her head, looking sweet and seductive at once as she reached for him, then glanced down at her breasts. This was the biggest act of faith she could ever show, and the magnitude of it brought his mouth to hers in a kiss he hoped would convey how deeply he loved her.
“Baby, I adore you for you. You know that, right?”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t ask you to do this. Be dirty with me, Z.”
He straddled her hips, his eager erection bobbing between them, and he hesitated. It was almost too much, holding her heart in his hands.
“Talk dirty to me,” she whispered, reaching between his legs.
Her touch cut him loose. “Suck me, baby. Let me feel that wicked and wonderful mouth of yours around my cock.”
Her hair tumbled forward as she took him in her mouth, her eyes trained on his, taunting him as much as she pleasured him. His primal instincts surged forth, pushing away the softer man who had tried to take over. He gripped the base of his cock, staving off his release.
“Get me nice and wet, baby, so we can fulfill our fantasy.” Watching her slick her tongue over the tip and along his shaft nearly made him lose it.
She settled back against the pillows again and pushed her breasts together.
“Wills, you have no idea what you’re doing to me.” Heart, mind, and soul. He leaned his palm against the headboard, nestling his cock between her breasts. “Jesus. I could come like this.”
“That would be a waste.” She reached around him and smacked his ass. “Get to it.”
He pushed his cock through her gorgeous breasts, unable to quell the greedy noises that came with the blissful feel of her warm skin engulfing him. She licked the head each time it appeared, surpassing even his most erotic notions and taking him right up to the brink of release.
“Slow down,” she said. “Let me get my mouth around you.”
He groaned in agony, slowing his pace. As the wide crown pushed between her breasts, her warm mouth clamped down around it, and her tongue swirled over the tip, fraying his restraint. When her hand disappeared between his legs to her slick heat, his resolve shattered. He swept her giggling, squirming, deliciously soft body beneath him and reached for his wallet, quickly sheathing himself.
She wound her arms around his neck and rose off the mattress to align him with her entrance.
“I like being dirty with you,” she said with a wide smile.
“I’m not going to ask how you got so good at that.”
“Lots and lots of porn.”
His eyes widened, and she burst into laughter. “God, you’re gullible.”
“I was just picturing watching porn with you.”
She wiggled her hips. “We could make our own porn, but you talk a lot during sex, so maybe not. I might have to gag you.”
“Oh, baby. Now we’re talking.”
He gathered her in his arms, and she grinned up at him. “You never told me the real reason you went into acting.”
“Now who’s talking too much?”
She leaned up and kissed him. “Just tell me. Then you can make love to me until neither one of us has any energy left to talk.”
“That was the plan all along, sweetheart.”
“Z,” she complained.
He gazed down at her and knew she’d push until he told her. “I thought acting was all I was capable of and that a fast-paced, bigger-than-life existence would be more fulfilling than what Sweetwater had to offer. But I was young and stupid. I didn’t even know what fulfilling meant.” He kissed her softly, weighing his answer. “But we’re not going to talk about that now. All you need to know right this second is that there’s more I want out of life than to look pretty on a big screen.”
“Like?”
“Like you, baby. I want you.”
She looked at him for a long moment with a serious expression, like she was contemplating world peace. “I want you, too, Z,” she whispered.
He brushed his lips over her cheek and whispered, “You love me, Wills. Now stop talking and let me love you like you deserve to be loved.”
“With whipped cream and sugary goodness?” she teased.
She was killing him with Willowness. “That’ll be the second course.”
“Third,” she corrected him.
“Wills.”
“Sorry,” she whispered with another sweet giggle. She schooled her expression and said, “Do me, Walker, and stop talking. Geez. Where’s my ball gag?”
As their bodies came together, he got lost in the loving words slipping from her lips and the complete and utter lack of fear in her beautiful eyes.