Chapter Seven

 

The clock on the wall displayed two o’clock exactly when he returned to his room, but he felt too wired to sleep. He tried, but all he ended up doing was tossing and turning for the better part of an hour. Finally, he gave up and went to look out the window.

When he drew back the heavy curtains, moonlight flooded his room. The moon wasn’t all that bright tonight, but his room had been so dark from the curtains that even this little bit of moonlight felt like a lot. Otto pressed his forehead against the cold glass and closed his eyes in frustration for a moment, before opening them again to look below.

Snow lay thick and heavy on almost every outdoor surface. The walking paths were kept clear, but everything else was covered in white. The winter had been exceptionally cold and snowy, and Otto wondered, as he had hundreds of times before, whether his friends in Bear Hollow were staying warm in the freezing temperatures. He worried constantly about his friends in Bear Hollow, and about the shifters here in Gilt Hollow. His life had become one giant ball of worry.

Otto couldn’t help it. He was a protector by nature. He wanted to keep everyone he loved safe, but tonight he felt like he’d failed. Kate had waltzed into his resistance meeting, taken over, and convinced everyone to follow a plan that was sure to get someone killed. It would probably get multiple someones killed, in fact.

Otto had washed his hands of it, true. But he knew in his heart he wouldn’t be able to stay completely out of things. If this idiotic mission was going to happen, he wanted to do what he could to protect shifter lives. He would end up involved somehow, even though raiding the Seversons’ vault was the last thing he wanted to do.

With a heavy sigh, Otto turned away from the window and went to sit at the generously sized table in the middle of his generously sized room. Every morning and evening, the Seversons’ kitchen staff brought lavish spreads of food to this table, all for Otto. Even for a wolf like him, with his huge appetite, the food was more than he could ever possibly eat. Much of it he stored away for future transport, before ten p.m. when the kitchen staff would come and clean up whatever was left over. They always left him the wine, though, at his request. Otto found that his shattered nerves could often use a drink, and while he would have preferred beer, the wine here was good, at least. Now, he poured himself a huge glass and sipped at it, contemplating what to do next. He was having a hard time thinking clearly, though, with all of the anger seeping through his veins.

He couldn’t believe that Kate had so easily taken over the resistance. She didn’t have a clue what she was up against, and her crazy ideas were going to get people killed. She should have stayed back in Bear Hollow where she belonged. Now, she—

A sharp knock on Otto’s door interrupted his thoughts. He glanced toward the door, surprised and wary. Why would anyone be looking for him at this time of night? Something must be wrong. Setting his wine glass down, he padded his way over to the door and gruffly called out, “Who is it?”

He half expected it to be one of the Severson guards, here to tell him that the resistance had been discovered and he was under arrest. And he half expected it to be one of the shifters, here to tell him that something horrible had happened to one of their own. What he hadn’t expected was to hear Kate’s sugary sweet voice drifting through the thick wood of the door.

“It’s me. Kate. Are you still awake? Can I come in?”

Otto rolled his eyes heavenward. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to speak with Kate. But she knocked again, and he knew enough of her by now to know that she wasn’t likely to leave until he gave in and let her come in. With an angry grunt, he swung the door wide open.

He wasn’t prepared for the sight he saw. Perhaps it was the soft moonlight, or perhaps it was his exhaustion really kicking in and playing tricks on his eyes, but Kate looked like an absolute vision. Her hair, which had been pulled up into a sleek bun all day, now hung in long, loose waves around her shoulders. And she had traded the sleek pants and shirt of the shifter uniform for a nightgown that clearly had come from Bear Hollow, not Gilt Hollow. The white fabric was rougher than the Gilt Hollow fabrics, but it looked like home, and Otto’s heart caught in his throat. The nightgown also billowed around her but hugged her curves in all the right places, and he realized that thoughts of home weren’t the only reason his heart was catching in his throat. He had never known a woman more beautiful than her.

Or more obnoxious, he told himself, trying desperately to get a grip on his emotions. He took a deep breath as he shut his door behind her and followed her into the room. She sat at his table and poured herself a glass of wine without asking, then took a long, deep sip before looking back at him.

“I like the wine they gave you better than the one I had tonight. Yours has more berry flavors in it.”

Otto frowned. “I’m not interested in small talk, Kate. Why are you here?”

She shrugged, then took another sip of her wine before answering. “I’m not sure myself. I felt we left on bad terms after the meeting and I don’t like that. I just wanted you to know that I’m not trying to take over your position as leader of the resistance. It’s not like that at all. I just…think this vault raiding plan has a lot of potential. And that we should take more risks.”

Otto felt as though if his blood pressure spiked anymore his head might literally explode. “Yes. You’ve said all of that before about a thousand times. I’m quite weary of hearing you rattle on about risk taking. So unless you have something else new and meaningful to say, I’d rather be alone right now, thank you very much.”

She gave him a sidelong glance, her expression unreadable. “We should work together instead of against each other. We’d make a great team.”

He snorted, then came to sit at the table again, picking up his own glass of wine. He swirled it in the glass for a few moments before looking up at her. “I’m not interested in working with someone like you. You’re rash and rude, and you’re in way over your head.”

“Am I?” she asked, tilting her head sideways and giving him a coy look that sent shivers up and down his spine. He realized suddenly that they weren’t talking about the resistance anymore. He felt a slow fire beginning to burn in his belly, and he tried to push away the feeling.

“Kate, I’m not interested in flirting with you.” He got up to walk over to the window, slamming his wine glass down so hard that some of the dark red liquid sloshed out. He glared out at the snowy landscape with his back to Kate, trying to get his emotions under control.

He hated her.

Didn’t he?

So why did she make him feel this heat, this tingling excitement in his core. Why did the air around him seem to be crackling with electricity right now?

It’s just a simple physical attraction, he told himself. She’s objectively gorgeous, so what man wouldn’t have some sort of reaction to that. It doesn’t mean anything.

He felt her walking up beside him long before he could see her in his peripheral vision. It was as though she was surrounded by a field of electricity that he could not escape. He refused to glance over at her, looking straight ahead instead. If he looked at her one more time, in that goddamn nightgown that reminded him of home, he was going to lose control of his senses completely.

“We’re on the same team, you know.” Her voice was soft, a barely audible whisper. He clenched his fists and tried to fight off the waves of heat passing over him. He had never been this affected by a woman before, and the strength of the passion inside of him right now frightened him. He shouldn’t be alone with her. Not here, in this romantic moonlight, with no one around to see if he put his lips on hers.

What the hell was wrong with him? He had to get his thoughts off her lips and back on the fact that she had come here to Gilt Hollow specifically to cause trouble for him. She wanted to shake up the resistance in ways it didn’t need to be shaken up. But despite all of that, every fiber of his being was throbbing with desire. He had never felt so conflicted in his entire life.

“You don’t get it,” he said through gritted teeth. “I started this movement. I’m the one who put all of our lives on the line. If someone dies because of something the resistance does, I am the one responsible. It’s a heavy responsibility.”

Kate let out a long sigh. “No one joins the resistance thinking that anything about this is safe. We all know what the consequences might be. We’re willing to risk our lives because this cause is so important. You can’t hold yourself personally responsible for every death that occurs during a war. And that’s what this is, you know? A war.”

“Nice words. They’re easy to say when you’re not the one in charge.”

“You’re the most ridiculous, stubborn man I’ve ever met. Don’t you think if we go through with this raid on the Severson vault, and people die, that I will feel responsible? And yet, I am pushing for it anyway, because the sacrifices we’re making are worth it. The sacrifices we make now will pave the way for future generations of shifters to live free.”

Otto knew she was right, but he still couldn’t bear the thought of losing a shifter’s life while he was in charge. “The tunnel is enough risk for now. Once summer comes again, and the Bear Hollow shifters aren’t relying on us not to starve, we can scale back on the tunnel and put our efforts into other things. We do need to make sacrifices, but we don’t need to be foolish.”

“Bullshit. Raiding the vault isn’t foolish. It’s dangerous, but not foolish. We have a good chance of success. You need to stop telling everyone else when it’s okay for them to risk their lives. Each of us has the right to risk our own life where we see fit. You’re a leader, not a dictator. So stop dictating and start leading.”

Otto finally turned to look at her, anger flaring in his eyes. “You need to stop butting your head into the resistance like you understand what’s going on here. You think you understand the risks you’re taking, but you don’t. You’ve only been here a day. I’ve been here almost two decades. Gilt Hollow can make you feel comfortable. You look around at all this wealth and abundance and think how bad can these people really be? But you step out of line just a little bit, and you’ll see. They don’t think twice about killing you for looking at them the wrong way. And they wouldn’t think twice about killing every shifter in Gilt Hollow if they catch one shifter trying to break into a vault. They’re ruthless and barbaric. You’re not just playing with fire, Kate. You’re playing with a damn inferno.”

She stared back at him with steady eyes, her gaze never wavering from his. “I’d rather burn up in a brilliant blaze while defending my people then tiptoe around on coals that are barely warm. I’m here to start the revolution or die trying.”

“You’re going to die trying,” Otto said. And then, before he could stop himself, he heard words coming out of his mouth that he’d never intended to say. “And if I have to watch you die, it’s going to kill me too.”

Her eyes widened slightly, and the air between them crackled. “Otto…”

And then, his lips were on hers. He could not stop himself. He hated her and yet he loved her. He couldn’t stand her and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Desire consumed him like it never had before. He should never have let her come into his room, and he knew that. He’d known that the moment he opened the door, and yet he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He couldn’t stop himself now.

He’d warned her about playing with fire, hadn’t he? And yet, if anyone was playing with an inferno right now, it was him. She burned him up with just a look, so what was this kiss going to do to him? He’d be reduced to a pile of ashes.

And in that moment, he didn’t care. His mind tried to scream at him that he was acting the fool. How could he stand up to Kate and all her wild ideas if he couldn’t control his passion for her? He needed to stay levelheaded, to keep a cool attitude toward her and make sure she didn’t push her ideas on the resistance crew anymore than she already had.

And yet, he continued to kiss her. She melted into his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and then running her fingers through his hair. It was her that took the kiss further, pushing her tongue into his mouth. But it was him who picked her up, putting his hands under her ass as she wrapped her legs around his hips. They never broke off their kiss as he took her toward the bed, pulling her down onto the soft mattress with him. Their tongues and their legs both intertwined. Her hair was a mass of dark, silky waves against the pure white of his pillowcases. She looked like an angel.

He tried once to pull away, but she pulled him back. He tried to think straight, but he couldn’t. He’d never felt anything like this before. Oh, sure, he’d been attracted to a woman here and there. But there were hardly any female shifters in Gilt Hollow. The few that were here usually worked as servants in the kitchens or gardens of noblemen’s houses, but even those were few and far between. Most of the female shifters he’d seen had been shopping at the one market in Gilt Hollow where shifters were allowed. Otto went to that market almost every Saturday, not to shop but rather to spend time talking with the other shifters. Before the secret tunnel had been completed, Otto’s only contact with Bear Hollow had been through the shifters at that market.

He’d had a romance here and there with pretty young shifters who came to the market, and he’d had one romance with a female shifter servant who actually lived in Gilt Hollow. Those little trysts had been fun, but Otto had never felt anything more than a surface level attraction. The romances had petered out, partially due to the fact, he was sure, that having any sort of real relationship while living in a nobleman’s house in Gilt Hollow was pretty much impossible. Otto had resigned himself to living a life largely devoid of passion.

But here, with Kate’s body tangled up in his, he was suddenly wondering if it was time to un-resign himself. Was it possible that this woman who drove him crazy was also meant for him?

No, no, no. Stop being ridiculous. You’re just overreacting because it’s been so long since you’ve had the chance to be alone with a beautiful woman. This is nothing more than a normal physical reaction. Any man would feel the same about any beautiful woman.

But even as Otto said these words to himself, he knew this was not normal. This attraction was something else. It ran deeper than anything he’d ever felt, and it overwhelmed even his anger toward Kate. He couldn’t stand the way she had barged into his life and tried to take over the resistance. But he couldn’t bring himself to care about it in that moment.

If she disliked him, she didn’t seem to remember that at the moment, either. She kissed him like a woman starved for love, and he kissed her back with the same fervor.

He could feel the stiffening between his legs, and he felt the pressure growing as his rock hard erection strained against the fabric of his clothing. He wanted Kate more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.

He was officially losing his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Was it really so bad to want one night of pleasure with a fellow shifter? Even if that shifter did drive him crazy, they were still on the same team, right? Otto tried to rationalize what he was doing, but that was hard to do when you couldn’t think straight. He finally gave in to the passion overwhelming him, and decided to follow his desires, regardless of what his mind was screaming at him.

He tore off his clothes, and reached to pull off Kate’s as well. She did not protest, and, in fact, she helped him complete the task quickly. Within moments, they both lay naked beside each other on the bed, their clothes in an untidy heap somewhere on the floor behind Otto.

Otto could hardly believe his eyes when he looked at Kate. He had thought she was beautiful even when clothed, but nothing had prepared him for this. Unlike when he’d seen her naked earlier today, he let himself fully look at her now. Her body, all silky white skin and generous curves, stretched out before him like a goddess. She was lying on her side, watching him carefully with those eyes of hers that seemed to see everything. Her breasts rose and fell with the rapid rhythm of her breathing, and Otto’s gaze landed on her nipples, so alert and perfect.

“Damn woman,” he growled. “You’re gorgeous.”

She smiled shyly. That was the first smile Otto had seen from her that hadn’t been a smug, sneering look. The simple sweetness of her expression undid him. He reached his hand over to cup the soft curls between her legs, and then slid a finger into her warmth. He wanted to feel her, and to see how much she wanted him.

She was dripping wet, slick with desire for him. He let out a low growl, then pulled his fingers out and pushed her onto her back. She squeaked in surprise, but did not fight him. Instead, she gave him a devious look as he hovered over her.

“Are you going to punish me for breaking into your little resistance meeting?” she asked in a sultry voice. Her question and tone sent little shivers of delight through his body. He felt powerful as he looked down at her. For so long, he hadn’t been able to control any aspects of his own life. But this moment here was his. It was his decision whether he made love to her or not. She had invited him in, and no one else could tell him what he could or couldn’t do. The moment felt empowering, and thrilling. And he was going to take advantage of it.

“I’m going to punish you so hard,” he said, then slid into her with one rough, rapid movement. She gasped as he filled her, his thick erection pushing against her tight inner walls. He moaned as her wet warmth enveloped him. Nothing in his life had ever felt so good. And he had never felt like such a man. Kate looked up at him with eyes wide open. Instead of closing her eyes and looking away, she met his gaze, looking deep into his soul. He felt connected to her on so many levels. Their bodies were connected, but in her eyes he found so much more than a physical connection. They had a deep, almost spiritual connection. He knew in that moment that, no matter what happened between them in the future, he was never going to forget this moment right here. He was never going to be able to shake the feeling of his soul literally intertwining itself with another human’s soul.

“Punish me,” she said, her voice coming out in a low, raspy sound. She was breathing heavy, her inner walls oozing with the juices of her desire as Otto held himself there inside of her, his dick throbbing with pent-up pressure and anticipation. It was almost painful how badly he wanted her, but he had never felt a pain this good.

“Say it again,” he growled, thrusting himself a little deeper into her. Their hips were pressed against each other, and he could feel her trembling slightly beneath him. She felt it too—the coming earthquake. And she wanted it just as badly as he did.

“Punish me,” she repeated, lowering her eyelids as she looked up at him. “I’ve been a bad girl. I’ve made you angry and defied you. Now punish me.”

God, she was so hot.

He pulled out a bit, then thrust back into her as hard as he could. “This is for arguing with me.” He thrust again, his dick going so deep that he was surprised he couldn’t feel her backbone. “This is for barging into my meeting.” Another thrust. She yelped, then moaned, then begged for more.

“Yes, Otto, yes. Punish me. Punish me harder.” She finally closed her eyes, unable to keep them open anymore in the heat and passion of the moment. Otto could hardly keep his eyes open either.

“I’m going to punish you so hard, you’ll never forget it. I’m going to make you feel me deep inside you, taking you like the powerful man I am. You cannot come into my room and tell me what to do and expect me not to put you in your place.” He was thrusting hard now, back and forth, back and forth. She was thrashing about beneath him, moaning and crying out.

“Take me, Otto, take me. Put me in my place.”

Otto kept thrusting, the pressure within him building to an impossible level. He was reaching his breaking point and he knew it. But he could not slow down. He had never felt so powerful and in control. With every thrust he made now, she was crying out his name. He was burning up completely from within, and he threw back his head and let out a howl.

He was a wolf of a man, and he was showing Kate right now exactly how much of a man he was. He looked down and saw her perfect breasts bouncing beneath him. He leaned his face down to take one of her nipples in his mouth, and he bit down hard. The sensation was apparently too much for her, because she cried out and came instantly.

Her inner walls squeezed and clenched around his dick as she panted and moaned and trembled at the earthquake within her. Otto felt the skin of her stomach against his, and she felt like she was on fire. He let out a low moan himself, and then, with one more thrust, he was joining her in the earthquake. He pulsed into her as tremors of ecstasy passed over him, and he howled as he felt a fresh wave of fire filling him. He was deep, deep inside of her, and they both clung to each other as the moment overtook them.

The fiery earthquake seemed to last for ages. For a delightful eternity, they lay there with their bodies and souls connected. But gradually, it began to fade away. Reluctantly, Otto rolled off of Kate to lie beside her on the bed. His body was satisfied, but his heart felt conflicted.

What had he done? The smart course of action would have been to keep as much distance between him and Kate as possible. Sleeping with her was pretty much the opposite of that. And to make matters worse, he felt an unmistakable, burning warmth in his core—a warmth he had never felt before.

It’s impossible. This cannot be the lifemate bond, can it? Surely, destiny did not pair me with a woman who is determined to undermine everything I do for the resistance.

Otto tried to push away the warmth, but it persisted. He wondered if Kate felt it too, but he dared not ask. If she said she did, then he would know for sure that he wasn’t imagining things. And he didn’t want to face the reality of discovering that Kate was his lifemate. He turned to look at her, searching her face for any indication that she was going through a similar struggle. But she was staring up at the ceiling with an expressionless mask on her face, giving nothing away.

“I should go,” she said, without turning to look at him. “Tomorrow will be a long first day of training for me.

Otto was torn between feeling relieved that she was leaving, and wanting to beg her to stay. Moving on autopilot, he rose from the bed and gathered up her clothes for her, laying them gently next to her. Then he walked over to look out the window again while she dressed.

What had he been thinking, sleeping with this woman who had done nothing but drive him crazy? He hadn’t been thinking, and that was the problem. He’d been too overcome with carnal desire to consider the implications of his actions. And that little fact also pointed to the possibility that Kate was indeed his lifemate. He’d heard other shifters say that when you found the person who was supposed to be your lifemate, the attraction was almost instant. It was strong, and irresistible. And wasn’t that what Otto had felt with Kate?

He heard her rise from the bed, and a few moments later she was standing beside him, fully dressed.

“I should go,” she said again.

Otto got the distinct feeling that there was something he was supposed to say. Was he supposed to tell her that he’d had a good time? That he thought she might be his lifemate? That she was good in bed? That she was drop dead gorgeous? What did a woman expect to hear in a situation like this? He didn’t know, and so in the end he just said, “Okay.”

She sighed, and turned to leave. His mind screamed at him to run after her and say something, anything else. But instead he kept staring out the window, confused and convinced that anything he might say was only going to make things more awkward.

She turned the doorknob and opened the door, but paused before leaving.

“You know I’m still going to go through with the plans for raiding the vault, right? This doesn’t change anything?”

Otto only shrugged, and Kate left the room without another word. When the door had clicked shut behind her, Otto shook his head and whispered after her.

“You’re wrong. This changes everything.”

Then he walked over to the table, drained both wineglasses, and went back to bed. He had a feeling he was going to need his rest over the next several days. He had a lifemate to protect now, and she was hell-bent on putting herself in harm’s way.