Chapter 8
All night I kept asking myself what the bloody hell had just happened. One minute Alessandro and I were kissing and the next he was walking away from me—for good.
I should have tried harder to make him see things from my perspective. At least that’s what I told myself. But by the end of the week, I wasn’t sure that was right anymore. A little voice inside my head kept telling me that I was the one who hadn’t tried hard enough to see things from his point of view. I’d all but told him from day one that he wasn’t good enough for a serious relationship, that my family and acquaintances would never accept him. How had I not once stopped to realize how much those words would hurt? And what right did I have to treat him like that when, truthfully, I was the one who wasn’t good enough for him?
I desperately needed someone to talk to, someone to help me sort through my feelings, but I had no idea who to turn to. I couldn’t talk to my parents. Nor could I talk to my friends—not that I had many left. Most of the people I had spent time with before had turned their back on me and were now Kat’s friends.
After a week with no word at all from Alessandro, I finally broke down and decided to call my cousin Bridgette, the one who had eloped a few years ago with a man her parents didn’t approve of. If anyone would understand my predicament, it was her. The only problem was I hadn’t spoken to her in years. I found her number in my contact list and as I dialed I prayed she wouldn’t hang up on me.
When she answered, I launched in to an apology over the fact that we hadn’t spoken since she had married and begged her not to hang up.
“Oh come on, Claire, I would never hang up on you,” Bridgette said. “What’s the matter? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so frantic before.”
I told her about the way Alessandro and I had met, how I had meant for him to distract me from thinking about Nico, but instead we had grown closer than I ever imagined, and now I had no idea what to do. “If I choose to stay here in Monterra with him, my parents will cut me off. I’ll have to find a job on my own, I won’t be able to afford the rent on my apartment,” I said, realizing how shallow I sounded as the words came out of my mouth. Those were the kinds of problems people struggled with every day, except those people didn’t have someone as wonderful as Alessandro by their side.
“The alternative is returning to England without him, which I get the feeling you don’t want to do or else you wouldn’t have called me,” Bridgette said.
Ugh. It was all so painfully clear. I didn’t want to lose Alessandro. I wanted him more than I wanted a fancy apartment or a cushy job or enough money to go on fancy shopping sprees and trips to Monte Carlo whenever the desire hit.
“Claire, are you still there?” my cousin asked. I had gotten so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard what she had just asked.
“Yes, I’m still here. Sorry, I got distracted. What were you saying again?”
“I asked you if you love Alessandro.”
It took only a moment to mull over the answer to that question. “Yes. Yes, I do.” The minute those words were out of my mouth, I started to cry. I loved Alessandro and I might have just chased him away for good. How could I have been so stupid?
“Then you know what you need to do, right?” Bridgette asked.
“Yes,” I replied, choking back tears. “Listen Bridgette, I just want to say sorry again for the way I treated you after you got married, and thank you for listening to me and giving me advice, even though I don’t deserve it.”
“All is forgiven, Claire.” I heard a baby crying in the background. Bridgette had a child and I didn’t even know. “But I really do have to get going now. Call Alessandro, okay? And then ring me again in a few days to let me know what happened.”
*
My cousin had told me to call Alessandro, but with him refusing to answer, that left me with only one choice. I needed to go and look for him. It was too late at night for me to do that, which meant I would have to wait until morning.
As I lay in bed that night, Alessandro’s words from a few weeks came back to me. The ones he had said to me after our date at the Russo vineyard. He told me then that he wanted to be my man and that he would prove to me that the two of us could work out. At the time I thought he was announcing his attention to pursue me; that he would keep asking me to stay in Monterra. But that wasn’t how he’d gone about things. Over the past few weeks Alessandro had been showing me what a life with him would be like. He had taken me to his farm and introduced me to his family, hoping that I would fall in love with them just as I had with him. Except I’d been too stupid to realize it until it was too late. He wasn’t the type to waste words, Alessandro believed in showing his feelings rather than telling you what they were. It was an admirable trait.
The next morning, I got out of bed early. It wasn’t particularly hard to do either since I’d barely slept the entire night. I called for a taxi and then stared at my reflection in the mirror while I waited. I looked positively dreadful thanks to too much crying and a lack of sleep.
When I arrived at Alessandro’s house, I knocked on the door. His father answered.
“Is Alessandro here?” I asked, wondering how much his dad knew about what was going on between the two of us.
“He’s in one of the orchards,” Mr. Conti told me.
“How do I get to him?”
“It’s a long walk. Why don’t you wait inside for him? He’ll be back for lunch.”
I shook my head. “No. I need to see him now.”
Mr. Conti explained how to find Alessandro and I headed out on the winding path that just a few weeks ago Alessandro had driven his tractor on when he showed me around. By the time I reached the orchard, I was tired and thirsty. I weaved my way through the rows of trees, hoping to catch sight of him. When I finally did, I was tempted to run away. What if he couldn’t forgive me? The idea was so frightening that I wanted to put life on pause until I built up enough courage to handle his possible rejection of me. But life didn’t work that way.
“Alessandro,” I called out to him, hoping that I’d been loud enough for him to hear me.
He turned his head and I took a step closer.
“What are you doing here, Claire?”
“I need to talk to you, and since you wouldn’t answer your phone…”
“There’s nothing left to say. I know I promised to help you forget your problems, but I just can’t give you what you want anymore. I’m sorry.” Alessandro turned his back to me.
“What I want is you, Alessandro.” My voice cracked as the words came out of my mouth. I hadn’t intended on breaking down like that, but Alessandro made me feel so vulnerable. It was ironic that the reason I had let him get to know me as well as he had was because I thought we had no future, but opening up to him had forged a connection between us I couldn’t deny.
“For how long? Until you decide that being an English Lady is better than being a Monterran farmer?”
“I don’t care about titles or money or any of those things anymore. Without you they mean nothing to me,” I said. Alessandro turned around. By the look on his face I could tell I hadn’t convinced him. “You don’t get it.”
“What is it that I don’t get?” he asked.
“I love you, that’s what.” I practically shouted the words.
“You what?” Alessandro said, his expression a mix of disbelief and surprise.
“You heard me,” I said wrapping my arms around my body and lowering my voice. “I said I love you.”
“Amore mio,” Alessandro said walking toward me. When he reached me he put his hand on my chin tilting my face up to look into his eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to tell me that.” Without giving me a chance to respond, Alessandro pulled me closer to him, my hands dropped to my sides, and as he leaned in for a kiss my arms reached around him.
“What does this mean, Claire?” he asked after his lips finally left mine. “Please tell me it means you’ve decided to stay with me in Monterra.”
I nodded and bit my lower lip to keep myself from smiling like an idiot.
Alessandro took my hand. “Come, we need to go somewhere and talk.” He led me through the trees until we got to a clearing. “How did you get out here?” he asked.
“I walked.”
“It’s a long walk from my house. You must be exhausted.”
“Not really. I was very motivated.”
Alessandro smiled and lifted me into his arms.
“What are you doing?”
“My lady is not taking another step,” he said as he walked towards the tractor parked beside the orchard. Alessandro was ever the gentleman. We got in and he drove, stopping at a small cottage I hadn’t noticed during my visit a few weeks ago.
“What is this place?”
“A guest house. We have two on our property. Come inside, I want to show it to you.”
I was too busy staring at Alessandro to pay attention as we walked inside. As soon as Alessandro closed the door behind us I pulled him closer pressing my lips onto his. It had been only a little over a week since our fight, but even a few days without him was too long.
Alessandro lifted me into his arms again and carried me over to the couch. His tongue grazed every inch of my neck, leaving me practically gasping. My tongue teased him right back. I lifted his shirt kissing the skin on his well-sculpted chest.
“Claire,” he breathed. “We better stop. You have no idea how crazy you’re making me right now.”
“Good,” I whispered into his ear. My heart thudded wildly in my chest as I said, “Because I want you.”
He stared into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
I nodded slowly and Alessandro lifted me into his arms. He carried me into a bedroom and lay me down before showing me a taste of heaven I’d never even imagined was possible.