2
As soon as she finished her shift and changed into her civilian clothes, she went straight to the captain’s office, hoping against hope that he would be there. When she arrived, she took a deep breath to calm herself, then knocked on his closed office door.
“Come in.”
She let out a long breath of relief, straightened the collar of her white button-up, and turned the knob.
The captain was studying a pile of papers on his desk—a quick glance told Marisa they were security plans for the upcoming centennial celebration. The queen’s cousin, Ottavio Mondadori, the princeps of Aligard, would be arriving in just a few days to commemorate a peace treaty signed a hundred years ago. Marisa struggled to remember the significance of the visit. She’d learned about Aligard in school of course; it was a small county within Monterra’s borders, but there had once been some sort of conflict between the governing family of Aligard and the Monterran royal family. Something to do with ownership of some mines or something trivial like that. She couldn’t remember. She’d always hated history. She quelled the urge to fidget and waited with artificial patience for the captain to finish.
Finally, the captain looked up. He blinked once in what may have been surprise, but his face showed only composure. “Donati. Please come in. Have a seat.” His hazel eyes held hers briefly before he returned to studying the papers on his desk.
She sat down across from him, holding her back straight. She began to speak in a confident voice, “Sir, I know you’re busy, so I’ll get right to the point. I know you’ll be increasing Prince Dante and Prince Rafael’s personal guard detail for their trip to America, and I believe I should be on that detail.”
That got his attention. His eyes shifted from the papers to her face, piercing her with a level of scrutiny even her army general father had not managed. She held his gaze and beat down the impulse to blush. She knew she deserved this position, and she wouldn’t be intimidated into showing weakness or lack of confidence.
The captain’s eye twitched slightly, and he leaned back in his chair. “After just eleven months in the castle guard, you think you’re ready for a spot on the personal guard?”
She nodded. “Yes, sir. It’s not that unusual—others have been promoted after spending less time on the castle guard. Others whose performance has not been as exemplary as mine.”
“Is that so? And what has been so exemplary about your performance?” His tone was slightly mocking, and Marisa was taken aback.
“Haven’t you seen—” she began, heat rising through her chest. She checked herself and continued, slightly calmer. “I’ve been the best in every training the entire eleven months I’ve been on the guard. No one has ever beaten me at sparring—”
“And no one has ever asked to join your team for the exercises, either.”
Marisa opened her mouth to argue, but that was the truth. She had given up asking the other guards to join her in the simulations—no one ever accepted her offer, and no one ever offered for her to join their team. “That’s not my fault.”
“Isn’t it?”
Marisa’s heart pounded with mingled anger and dread. This was not going at all how she had planned. “Sir, I don’t see how this is relevant.”
“No, you don’t. And that’s why it’s not likely you’ll be getting this promotion.”
Marisa gaped at him. “What? That isn’t right! I’ve worked harder than anybody else!”
“Maybe so. But perhaps you haven’t been working on all the right things.”
“I am the best guard you have, and you know it.”
“I’m not saying you aren’t good at your job. You’ve done very well and have proven yourself a competent guard. I just don’t think you’re personal guard material, yet.”
His attempt to placate her filled her with rage. Without even thinking, she pushed out of her seat and whirled toward the door.
“Donati,” the captain’s voice raised just slightly, though his tone was still even and calm. “You haven’t been dismissed.”
She froze. Every impulse in her screamed for her to storm out, or better yet—punch something. But she managed to take one deep breath and turn slowly back to the captain.
“You don’t seem to realize the importance of team cohesion. Your current position doesn’t demand it. As a castle guard protecting the women’s chambers, you don’t need to worry about working with others. Your, as you put it, exemplary skills are enough to carry you. So, if you are content to stand guard at the women’s chambers—a good position, and an honor as well—then continue on the path you are on. But if you are hoping to join the personal guard, there are improvements you could make.”
Through clenched teeth, Marisa managed to ask, “And what would those be?”
“The personal guard must work as a unit—with implicit trust and near wordless communication. If your teammates don’t respect and depend on you, you can never be an effective personal guard.”
“So what are you saying? I’m not popular enough to be a personal guard?” Marisa fought to keep the sneer off her face.
“I’m saying you need to try harder to win the confidence of your teammates. Show me that you can be a team player, a leader even.”
A million arguments filled her mind—she’d given her teammates no reason to dislike her, her skill and hard work should be enough to earn their respect, she had done everything in her power already to be a team player, it was the other guardsmen with the problem, not her. She opened her mouth to argue, but the captain had already turned his attention back to his desk.
“Dismissed, Donati.”
***
Barely able to contain her fury, Marisa stalked through the servants’ quarters and out of the castle. She scanned her keycard and the door lock clicked open. She yanked the door harder than she’d intended and her knuckles slammed into the rock wall. She sucked on the stinging bloody rash and stomped to her car.
Once in the driver’s seat, Marisa let the anger she’d been holding back course through her. She pounded the dashboard and let out a guttural scream of frustration. She’d worked so hard—only to get to this point and be told she couldn’t advance because she wasn’t one of the guys. That was basically what the captain had said—the boys didn’t want to play with her, so obviously she couldn’t be trusted to do her job. She screamed again. It filled her head with heat, but she needed the catharsis.
Finally, exhausted and frustrated, she jammed the key into the ignition and turned it. Soothing piano music filtered out of the speakers, and Marisa sighed and slumped back in her seat. The music surrounded her and took the edge off of her fury. She took a deep breath, her fingers playing the notes on the steering wheel as if it were a grand piano. She closed her eyes and played to the end of the song before pulling out of her space and driving out of the parking lot and onto the long main U drive of the castle of Monterra. Her eyes shifted to the grassy field to her left, where a section of the army was practicing drills for the upcoming centennial celebration. She tried to make out her brothers or her dad, but they were too far away.
She marveled at the precision of their movements, the beauty of their formations, and for the slightest of moments she wondered if her dad had been right when he told her she’d never be happy in the royal guard. He’d always wanted her to join him and the rest of her family in the Monterran army. She shook her head. That wasn’t the life she wanted.
She drove to the gate and waved at Carlo as he came out of the guard shack. She rolled the passenger side window down, and Carlo leaned in, his cap barely clearing the upper edge of the opening, his shiny gold cuff buttons gleaming in the blazing sun coming in from the front window.
He smiled and waggled his bushy brown eyebrows. “So what happened? You’ll tell me everything that tripped you up, right? I need some pointers for my turn tomorrow.”
“You wish.” She scowled. It felt a little surreal to think she’d been so upset about the stupid fight after the trainings this morning, considering what just happened in the captain’s office.
“Went that well, huh?” He clasped his strong hands.
“The exercise was easy. It was after the fact that sucked.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him she’d asked for a promotion and been flatly denied. It was too humiliating.
Carlo nodded, his blue cap hitting the roof as he did. “What did they do this time?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, the pain in her left shoulder telling her otherwise. It had already started to turn gray. She was glad he couldn’t see it. “Captain wants me to find a way to fit in.” She fought not to roll her eyes.
Carlo nodded sympathetically. “I know it sucks. But you know—it wouldn’t hurt for you to show up at the club more often. I’m sure if the guys had a chance to get to know you…”
She gaped at him. “What? You think if I go invade their guy space, they’ll stop feeling threatened by a woman?”
“No. They will see how eccezionale you are. No one cares that you’re a woman.”
“That’s why they were puckering up behind the captain’s back as he chastised me, huh?”
“They’re guys. No one ever said they were smart. A car’s coming. I’ll open the gate for you. Come tomorrow night. Drinking and hanging out with the guys will do you some good and show the captain a bit of good will on your part.”
“Whatever.”
“Come.” He tilted his head and gave her a firm look.
“I’ll think about it, but no promises.”
“That’s something, at least.”