3
She was on edge as she left the castle the next day. The thought of trying to play buddy-buddy irked her all throughout her shift guarding the women’s chambers. She didn’t like going to the club. She also wondered out of all the places they could meet, why was it always Murazzi’s? It had nothing to do with location. It was across town, nearer the mines than the resorts and closer to her apartment than to the castle, but it didn’t stop anyone from going. It was dark with heavy wood and smelled heavily of old smoke. The dance floor was too small, and there was never a live band. The bartenders were more grumpy than hospitable, and the place could use a sound cleaning. She’d decided it had to do with tradition and habit. If the royal guard were ever disbanded for a new organization with all new people, the meeting place would never end up being Murazzi’s.
On top of all her complaints was the company. While the guardsmen were never kind to her, they tended to be worse at the club. While they knew she could kick any of their butts, they didn’t want her to know they were threatened by her, which often made them into raving idiots once they had a few beers in them.
Still, she’d come this far. Even if what the captain was asking of her was unfair, she wasn’t about to give up now. She’d proven herself the best at sparring and at simulations, and she would prove herself the best at camaraderie, too, if that’s what it took.
By the time she got home, all she wanted to do was curl up on the couch and drink something hot while she read a book, but that was out. Important stuff was happening, and she intended to capitalize on it. She went into her room and changed.
Marisa wanted to wear her new jean skirt, but knew if she dressed too much like a girl, she wouldn’t be taken seriously by the guys. If she needed to fit in with the boys, she should probably dress like them. A fitted T-shirt and jeans would be perfect. She added high heels, red. Sexy, but respectable. She wasn’t going to deny every aspect of her femininity. She liked being a girl, and she wasn’t about to hide it. She let her hair down and brushed it until it shined. After a few spritzes of her favorite cologne, she left her apartment.
She steeled herself for the derogatory comments and incidental touching and grabbing she was sure to find at the club as she walked the several blocks there. She only needed to show the captain that she could be part of the team. She could handle this.
She walked in and felt eyes immediately fall on her. She made sure to make an appearance once or twice a month, but that was all she could take. It kept her in the loop. That was all she needed. She spotted several of the castle guard mixed in with the locals. Vadik with his always unkempt blond hair and Yale with his enormous buggy blue eyes stood at the bar talking to a pretty bartender. A good twenty guardsmen were scattered about, but she couldn’t see Carlo, and her shoulders hunched slightly. She should have called him and coordinated their arrivals. Laterza, Corna, and Abelli sat with the captain, beers in their hands. This was no surprise. They were major suckups. Captain Di Stefano did not look like a man with important decisions hanging over him. He smiled, and she couldn’t help but admit that he was handsome.
She blushed a little at the thought. The man had just seriously insulted her—he’d called her competent, of all things—and here she was contemplating his handsomeness? It was probably just because he was off limits. Not only was he her superior officer, but it was well known that the captain of the royal guard was not allowed any serious relationship. It would interfere with his ability to protect the royal family.
“Well, look who’s here,” Barsetti said, appearing with a drink in hand. Marisa fought the urge to scowl at him. The captain was watching. “Hard day listening to those women cackle? Thought you’d grace us with your presence, huh?”
“Ha. Ha.” She smiled tersely. She bit back the urge to rake him over the coals for calling the queen a ‘cackling woman.’ The captain wanted her to play nice.
“That’s right. You’re one of them.” A new song blared through the speakers.
She pushed past him and made her way to the captain’s table. Since Carlo wasn’t there, she’d just go full throttle forward. Smile. Be nice. Keep your temper in check, she told herself. You can do this. It’s only a few hours.
All four sets of eyes watched her approach, their eyes traveling over her body, inspecting her. She forced herself not to grimace and say something harsh to them. No, today she was going to show the captain that she could fit in, no matter how hard it was going to be. She pulled out a chair next to Laterza and took a seat. The captain raised his arm and a surly, but pretty waitress came right over.
“Thanks,” Marisa said to the captain, then placed her order with the waitress.
She turned to Laterza. “Taking any vacation time this fall?”
He shook his head and said nothing. This was not going to be easy. “I was thinking about taking some in January or something to hit some beaches—you know, to get away from the cold. Maybe even Florida.”
“You want to go to America when you could stay here and ski the best snow and slopes in the world? That’s crazy if you ask me.” Laterza snorted. “No. I’ll be hanging at our ski resorts for my vacation.”
“I can ski anytime. I want to travel, see new things.”
Laterza only shook his head and took another drink, silence settling over the table. She was determined not to be discouraged and turned to Corna. “What about you? You the traveling type?”
He narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?” She tried to sound innocent.
“Every time you come into this place you sit with Carlo and don’t bother to talk to any of us.”
“Maybe I want that to change.” Although her gut churned, she didn’t squirm in her seat. She could feel the captain’s eyes on her. She would not blow this.
Abelli rolled his eyes and said, “Haven’t you already been here your requisite two times this month? I don’t think you’ve ever been here more than that.”
It was true. The end of July was in a few days, and she had already been twice. She bit the inside of her cheek to help her not lash out. “Like I said, I’m changing things up.”
Both Corna and Abelli sat back, the front two feet of their chairs rising into the air. She figured they were holding back and not saying what they wanted to because the captain was right there.
“So, no traveling vacations for any of you?”
“I may be heading over to Italy for a few days,” the captain said, his eyes down and pretending to pick some lint from his sleeve. He would never have lint on his sleeve. Was he trying to help her out? His eyes met hers for a split second before he turned to Laterza. “She has a point. You can ski anytime. Ever been to a beach?”
“Sure. When I was a kid, my family used to go each year,” Laterza said.
His eyes fell on Corna and then Abelli.
“I went to an island off Spain last year,” Corna said as he turned his glass in his hands. “It was pretty nice.”
“Never and don’t plan on it,” Abelli said. “I like my feet to stay on the ground.”
That got a chuckle, but there was tension in the air. Marisa figured they felt pressure to contribute to the conversation. The captain’s efforts were failing.
Abelli stood up first, followed closely behind by Corna. “I’m going to the loo,” Abelli said.
“I need a change of scenery,” Corna said, his eyes flicking to Marisa.
“I’ll join you,” Laterza said, grabbing his drink up as he left.
That did not go as she’d hoped. It was further proof she didn’t fit in and most likely never would. She waited for the captain to abandon her, too. But as soon as the three men were out of earshot, the captain said, “I appreciate your effort. Don’t give up.” He raised an eyebrow.
She nodded, but only slightly. “I don’t give up easily.”
“I know this about you. You can be quite stubborn.” He tapped his fingers on the table.
“You say that like it’s a bad quality.” She looked to the side so she’d have a second to take the anger out of her eyes.
“When it comes to teams jelling, it can be.”
It took everything she had not to huff and push back in her seat. She nodded instead. “I guess I can see that. But you know, it takes both sides to make the effort.” She held back what she wanted to say: it’s not right that they treat me as an inferior just because I’m a woman.
“You’re right. They need to be in a place to be able to accept you reaching out. They aren’t there yet, but keep trying, and I think they will be.”
She felt deflated, dismissed. The captain was giving her platitudes, nothing that would bring her any hope. She didn’t have time to reach out. The new assignments would be given tomorrow. She nodded but kept her eyes on her drink, waiting for him to take his leave of her.
But he leaned in, peering at her intently with those stunning hazel eyes. “Why is this so important to you, anyway?” He asked, surprising her. She didn’t expect the captain to pay so much attention to her. “From what I understand, you could have done very well in the army. Not only do you have exceptional skills, as you’ve shown in the guard, but your father could have cleared a path for your advancement.”
She snorted ruefully. “Maybe I don’t like taking the easy way.”
“Yes, I can tell.” She thought she detected a hint of admiration in his voice.
He seemed to be waiting for her to elaborate, and she thought about how to answer. She had her canned response, the one she gave to reporters who wanted a story about the first female royal guard. She always told them that she did it because she’d wanted to be the best she could be, and the royal guard were the best. The reporters liked that answer; it made everyone feel warm and fuzzy. But it wasn’t the whole truth.
“I could’ve joined the army. In fact, I always wanted to. My whole family is army—even my mom—and I always thought I’d go down that same path.”
“So what changed?”
She hesitated. She hadn’t really told this to anyone before, but she felt strangely comfortable with him tonight. She moved to the seat next to him and was surprised to notice he was wearing cologne. A nice earthy scent.
“I was thirteen. My oldest brother and I were shopping the main market on Via Sacre. Crown Prince Dominic entered the square with his entourage only ten feet from us. My brother saluted. I gawked.” She shrugged. The crown prince was incredibly handsome, and her thirteen-year-old self had been just as star-struck as any normal teenage girl.
“My brother was on leave from the army. We were having the best day—I had really missed him, you know? Anyway, we were just standing there, when a man came up behind the two of us and stuck a gun in my brother’s back.”
Christian raised his eyebrows in alarm, but said nothing, just waited for Marisa to continue.
“The man whispered into my brother’s ear—he told him to run out toward Prince Nico and he would take it from there. I think he must have been planning to use Pietro as some sort of diversion so he could attack the prince. I was so scared, but Pietro didn’t move. He wouldn’t let the creep use him to hurt the prince.”
“Your brother sounds very honorable.”
Marisa smiled slightly. Her brother had always been her hero, and this was just one of the reasons why. “Anyway, the man yelled in his ear and pushed the gun further into his back. I had to muster all my courage not to react. I didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize my brother’s life. When Pietro still didn’t do as commanded, the madman pointed the gun on me. I felt helpless. But before my brother could react to the new threat, two men appeared and took the man and his gun to the ground.”
“Ah. The personal guard.” Christian nodded.
“That’s right. They were amazing. No one even knew they were there, and they appeared out of nowhere to save the day. The idea of being a hidden protector wormed its way into my heart, and I have done everything I could to become one of them.”
“That’s a great story.”
He looked like he might say more, but Marisa felt suddenly awkward. Why had she said all that to him? She felt a little ridiculous, gushing about her brother and the awesomeness of the personal guard. She gulped down her drink and noticed the captain’s drink was empty, too. “I’ll go get us another drink.”
“Not necessary.” He raised his hand in the air, but this time no one came. All three waitresses were busy with customers.
“It’s okay.” She stood up, taking his glass and her bottle to the counter. She needed a breather. So many emotions had rolled through her in such a short time; she wasn’t sure what was going on with her. She detoured toward the bathroom before ordering. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, trying to determine her feelings. What was this strange fluttery feeling in her stomach? The captain’s piercing hazel eyes came to mind, and the butterflies became more active. She splashed her face with water. Stop it. He is off limits, in so many ways. She dried her face, straightened her clothes, and headed back out, praying that Carlo had arrived. She needed a friendly face to anchor her right now.
When she stepped out, Barsetti was waiting for her.
“Dance with me.” He stood from his stool and acted like he was dancing. He pressed his body up against hers and clamped his hand on her backside. Revulsion filled her.
“Not today,” she said, pushing him away. She passed by him without another word.
“Hey!” he called. “Don’t ignore me.”
She kept walking, searching the room for Carlo. Barsetti had obviously already hit idiocy level. She refused to deal with a drunk tonight.
A hand grabbed her upper arm. Out of pure reflex, she pivoted on her foot, her opposite hand balling into a fist and connecting with the jaw of her attacker. She would teach Barsetti not to touch her. The force of the impact should have sent him to the ground, but a hand grabbed her wrist instead. A hand that did not belong to Barsetti, but to the captain of the guard.