Recovery Journal: Day 1,195
I saw her.
Cora.
I saw Cora. Here. In my town.
Which is now somehow her town.
She’s divorced. I don’t know why I’m writing that first. It shouldn’t be the first thing I write. I should be writing something like why she’s here, but I can’t stop thinking about that one little detail.
She’s divorced.
I still remember that day she turned me down.
I don’t blame her really.
Mentally unstable, newly single amputee asks you out before he’s even discharged from the hospital.
Kind of weird, right?
But I’ll never forgot those eyes.
They were sad eyes. Not because she felt bad for turning me down.
No, they were sad for some other reason.
Over the years, I’ve often wondered what it could have been. She’d always been so upbeat when she visited, almost like she was trying too hard.
Was she making up for something? Covering up a failing marriage perhaps?
She’s divorced.
My brain circles back to that once more, and it gives me a small glimmer of hope. But I’ve felt something like that before when it came to Cora.
Can I trust it once more?
The whole scene was something out of my worst nightmare.
Cora near tears, so on edge, she bolted out of her own daughter’s birthday party. And Lizzie? Lizzie just stood there, torn between running after her distraught mother or falling into the arms of her father.
I could see the indecision on her adorable little face as her eyes drifted down the hall and back toward her dad.
Finally, with one final, apologetic glance toward the man who frankly didn’t deserve any of it, she made up her mind and bolted for the family rooms in the back, toward Cora.
Leaving Blake and me alone.
Well, as alone as two men could be in a house full of people. Let the sizing-up and heavy stares begin.
His eyes went directly to my right side, a sly smirk spreading across his face. “And you are?”
Feeling my fist curl at my side, I did everything I could to keep it from meeting his face. “Dean. A name you’ll be hearing a lot of, I’m sure.”
“Well, Dean.” He said my name like he’d never heard it before. Like it was foul or foreign. Beneath him.
Don’t give in.
He’s just messing with you.
“Do you think you could show me to my room? I have some gifts in my bag I’d like to pull out for my daughter.”
The emphasis on the word daughter was not lost on me.
I violently shook my head. “You’re not staying here,” I said. “You can’t.”
“Excuse me?” His eyebrow rose in a way that told me he was used to getting his way. “I paid for a room.”
“Jesus. You’re the one guest Molly has tonight?”
“Look,” he said, clearly agitated, a state I was sure he was in most of his life, “I don’t know who Molly is, but the deal is, I paid for a room in this place, and I intend to stay. I haven’t seen my daughter in well over a month, and despite what Cora might have told you, I do love that little girl, so if you don’t mind, I’d like my room, please.”
Somehow, in the course of his little speech, I’d managed to get closer to him, his face within inches of mine. That fist that seemed to have a mind of its own was beginning to vibrate, a sensation I’d felt only one other time in my life when Macon Green, the school bully turned town cop, called Molly a string bean, and I punched him.
Honestly, I hadn’t even known what the term meant. I just didn’t like him making fun of my friend. It had made me angry. But the anger I felt toward this very grown-up man, the man who’d abused the woman I loved, it was a hundred times greater than that.
Immeasurable.
“Dean?” I heard Jake’s deep voice pull me back. “Everything okay?”
My heard turned to see him and Molly standing in the entryway to the kitchen, both looking concerned.
Well, Molly looked concerned. Jake looked ready to wrestle me to the floor.
“Yeah,” I answered, my steely gaze returning to Blake. “But it turns out that Blake here might need some new accommodations,” I said loud enough for the entire room to hear. “He’s partial to a rental. Anyone want to help him out with that?”
It was like waving honey in front of a bear.
The locals attacked.
Many of the rentals on Ocracoke were owned by the inhabitants themselves. It was a surefire way to make money, and we were all about keeping that local. But this was the beginning of dry season, and the minute those townsfolk turned around and saw a wealthy-looking dumbass like Blake standing there, basically waving around money with his expensive suitcase and designer clothes, they all rushed forward, offering up every place they had.
I sat back, smiling like a Cheshire cat, knowing Lizzie and Cora would be safe for the night without having to worry about him in the bedroom above theirs.
Now, I just had to figure out how to keep him out of their lives for good.
I didn’t sleep a wink that night.
I’d managed to get Blake out of the inn and into one of the nicest rentals on the island, no doubt causing the owner more strife than necessary for a single night. I imagined the overly privileged Blake was no picnic to have as a houseguest, but if it meant having him away from the girls, it was worth it. Still, even an island separating him from them didn’t feel like enough space.
I needed him gone. And soon.
Every time I managed to drift off to sleep, I’d have the same nightmare.
Him with that stupid smirk on his face, Cora and Lizzie by his side on the ferry as it left the dock.
And me on the shore, unable to stop them.
I would wake, covered in sweat, gasping for air, my arm aching something fierce.
It was just a dream, I’d try to remind myself.
It was just a dream.
But was it?
What if she’s not over him?
I’d heard of women who’d suffered abuse going back to the men who’d caused it.
What if that was Cora? What if she went back to him?
My head was swimming by the time I made it to the clinic that morning, coffee in hand, ready to put the finishing touches on the software program I’d set up. All the records had been entered by my own hand, saving us some money in the long run, and now, I just had to run some tests—another cost-saving measure.
But, as I walked through the back door, my mind was on anything but medical records and software systems.
It was on the woman in front of me.
She looked about as rough as I did, her hair drawn back in her usual bun as she tugged on the same cardigan she wore most days. But I could see the fatigue settling around her eyes
It seemed I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t gotten any sleep.
“Hey,” I said as those dark brown irises met mine. “I brought coffee.”
She gave me a sad smile and held up an already made cup. “Thanks, but I got in early.”
“Right. I’ll just leave this for Jake.”
A heavy, uncomfortable silence settled around us. She looked down at the old linoleum while I stared at my feet.
Finally, I got the nerve to ask, “Is he gone? I mean, did you talk to him? Is he leaving?”
She shook her head. “He’s staying a little longer.”
I stood up a bit straighter. “A little longer? How long?”
Her eyes met mine. “I don’t know, Dean. A few days maybe. I didn’t really ask.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why didn’t you ask?” I demanded.
“Because he was shuffling around his schedule. Because he wanted to see his daughter. Because I screwed up.”
My finger went through my hair as I paced. “You screwed up? You did? Cora, this man beat you! He beat you!”
I didn’t realize how loud I’d become until she matched it.
“He never beat me,” she said softly. “He’d lose his temper and slap me around, but he never beat me.”
My hand scrubbed over my face, feeling the stubble of a previous day. “Jesus Cora. Do you hear yourself right now?” I asked. “Do you hear yourself making excuses for him? You do remember what he did to you?”
“Yes, I remember!” she nearly screamed. “I remember every blow. Every argument. Every tear. I remember laughing off bruises to Lizzie, telling her how dumb her mommy was for running into things so often. I remember how stupid I felt for not being able to make it stop. For not being able to walk away. So, don’t raise your voice at me, Dean Sutherland, because I remember. Everything.”
“Then, why are you letting him do this? Why let him stay? Why not make him leave?” I whispered, taking a hesitant step forward.
Thankfully, she didn’t back away.
I hadn’t lost her trust. Yet.
But I had a feeling, I was treading a very fine line.
“Because I also remember everything else. The way he smiled when he held Lizzie for the first time. How proud he was when she said her first word. The tender way he sang to her at bedtime. I will never, ever be able to forgive him for the husband he became, but I can never fault him for the father he turned out to be. He might be overbearing and spoiled, but he loves that little girl.”
I swallowed hard, hating the idea of that man having anything less than a blackened soul. “But does he deserve her? After everything he did to you…”
My hand reached out for hers, and she let me take it, looking down at our two hands joined together with almost a sadness in her eyes.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “But I don’t think that’s up to me anymore.”
“Of course it is,” I pressed, thinking back to the snide sneer he had given me.
She pulled away, looking out the window toward the parking lot.
“Do you know what Lizzie told me when she came to find me during her birthday party yesterday? She said she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to miss her father. Do you know how absurd that is?” She let out a somber laugh under her breath. “When I asked her what she meant, she said she knew Daddy made me sad, that he hurt me, and that’s why we moved away. And, now that we were away and I was happy again, she was scared to even mention him or miss him. She thought she was supposed to forget him.
“And you know whose fault that is? You know who made her believe that? Me. I did that to my little girl. I made her think she had to forget her father.
“She fell asleep, sobbing in my arms, last night, Dean. On her birthday. Because she missed her daddy. It’s not right. None of this is, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do any of this, but I need to figure it out. So, for the next few days, Blake is going to be around, and if you have a problem with that—”
“I don’t,” I said, the lie falling from my lips quicker than a lightning bolt in a summer storm.
“Good,” she said, a look of relief painting her expression. “Because I need support right now. I don’t think anyone really knows how to navigate this sort of thing. There’s definitely not a course for How to Have Dinner with Your Abusive Ex-Husband 101.”
“You’re going out to dinner with that asshole?” The words exploded out of me, causing her to take a step back.
“He wanted to take Lizzie out for her birthday,” she said, her eyes wide as she looked at me with an expression I’d never seen before.
Fear.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, lowering my voice to something less threatening.
“And you really don’t have much of a say.”
“Are you going to go back to him?” I blurted out, my insecurities showing.
“What?”
I swallowed hard, shaking my head as it filled with uncertainty. “I don’t like him being here, Cora. I don’t think it’s good for you. For—”
“You?” she said, meeting my gaze. “Look, I’m doing the best I can here with a situation that is basically impossible. But, if you think me trying to figure out how to work out a relationship between Blake and Lizzie is somehow me finding my way back to him, then you’re wrong. I had an entire year to go back to him, and I didn’t even though there were plenty of times I’d wanted to.”
Her words gutted me.
“Surprised, are you? That I could want to go back to a man who’d hurt me? That I could be that weak?”
“Cora, I don’t think you’re weak.”
She shook her head, letting out a sound of disbelief. “Your eyes say something differently.”
“Cora, I—”
“I never did,” she continued. “But there were times when I’d think back and remember the man I married, the husband he used to be and wonder if maybe he could be that again, you know? It’s not so absurd—for a woman to go back. We can’t shake those memories. We can’t stop thinking we can fix them.”
“Why didn’t you?” I finally asked, realizing how little we’d actually talked in our time together. How little I knew of this woman I loved so much.
“Lizzie,” she said. “I thought I’d done a good job of sheltering her from everything that was going on in our marriage. I didn’t want her to be raised in a house like that. I didn’t want her to grow up, knowing her father was a monster.”
I exhaled, a defeated sigh escaping my lips. “So, why invite him back into her life now? He’s still a monster.”
“Because he’s not a monster to her. And I won’t let him be.”
A frustrated hand ran through my hair. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with that. I don’t know if I can forgive what he did to you.”
Resigned eyes met mine as she gave a firm nod. “It’s not your job to forgive him. It’s mine. And this isn’t about forgiving or forgetting; it’s about Lizzie.”
And, with that, she walked away, leaving me with an impossible decision.
A lifetime with Cora and Lizzie—and Blake.
Every major life event. Every memory.
He’d be there.
Family gatherings, birthdays, graduation. Lizzie’s wedding.
He’d always be there.
Tainting our lives with his presence. Reminding me of everything he had done to the woman I loved.
But what other choice did I have?
To walk away?
To leave her, knowing he’d be there instead?
No, I couldn’t do that either.
So, I’d endure. I’d endure him for Cora. For Lizzie.
And for the future I saw ahead of us.
“You okay, man?” Jake asked me as he took a place next to me in front of the mirror, both of us adjusting our ties, as the noonday sun streamed through the windows of the yellow room of the inn.
“Yeah,” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question? It is your big day after all.”
He smiled at me through the mirror, a great big ear-to-ear grin. “I’m great. Been looking forward to this for a damn long time. That, and Molly and I grabbed a quickie in the closet before the guests arrived.”
A quick wink, and he went off in search of his jacket.
“Isn’t that against the rules? Seeing each other before the wedding? As the best man, shouldn’t I have prevented that or something?”
He laughed, shrugging into his gray suit coat with ease. “Pretty sure we’ve broken just about every rule there is. Nothing wrong with a little stress relief before the big walk down the aisle.”
I shook my head, still messing with my damn tie. Why they had to make these things so damn complicated, I had no idea.
And tight.
God, it was tight.
“Pretty sure you haven’t broken all the rules. Sure, you might live together, but it’s not like you knocked her up or any—”
I caught his shit-eating grin bouncing back at me in the mirror.
“Well, I’ll be damned.”
“We found out on Friday. We hadn’t even been trying. How’s that for irony? The town doctor who actively tells his teenage patients about the importance of birth control gets his soon-to-be wife pregnant before they’re even wed.”
“Well, it’s not like you need to tell anyone.”
“Are you kidding? I want to shout it from the rooftops. I’m so damn happy. But Molly says we need to be cautious.”
I pressed my lips firmly shut, trying to keep from laughing. My highly trained doctor of a best friend had had to be schooled by his soon-to-be wife on Pregnancy 101.
I could already tell this was going to be fun.
“So, were you even supposed to tell me?” I asked, watching him plop down on the bed to tie his shoes as I finished up my tie.
“Yes,” he replied. “She gave me a list. I’m allowed to tell you, your mother—”
“Whoa, I wouldn’t,” I said. “You tell that woman anything, and it will make its rounds through the whole town within hours. Plus, she’s dying for a grandchild, and at this point, she’s not picky on where it comes from.”
He laughed. “Duly noted.”
“Who else?”
“Oh, um…well, Cora. Or at least, you could. We didn’t think it was fair for you to keep a secret from someone you, uh…you—”
“Love?”
“Yeah, that. So, you do love her?”
“I do. More than I thought I could love anyone.”
I met his approving gaze in the bedroom mirror.
“And the ex-husband? How does he fit into things?”
I let out a discouraged huff of air. “I don’t know,” I said. “He’s been here all week, attending meetings at the school with Cora and going out to dinner with the two of them. I’m trying to be as supportive as I can, but when I see him with them, laughing and joking around, as if nothing happened—”
“You want to kill him?”
“I want to kill him,” I confirmed.
“When she applied for the position, I never asked what had made her decide to move down here. But I always had a feeling she was running. From a past that obviously caught up with her at that birthday party.” He exhaled a long breath as he gave a warm smile in my direction. “I happen to know a thing or two about outrunning your past. It always has a way of catching up to you.” He stood up and placed a solid hand on my shoulder. “Remember that.”
“I’m not running from anything,” I argued.
“Running, ignoring, avoiding—it’s all the same, Dean. Take it from the guy who spent twelve years trying to forget a girl.” He held his arms out wide with that same devil may care grin plastered across his face. “Look where it got me. Now, let’s go get me married. What do you say, best man?”
His joy must have been contagious because I found myself charging toward him like a damn fool, faking one of those one-armed pick-ups Cora loved so much but instead going for an over-the-shoulder bear hug.
“All right, let’s go get you married. It’s about damn time.”
The whole town came out to witness the wedding of Jake and Molly. Of course, the whole town pretty much came out for just about anything. But this particular event had been more than fifteen years in the making, and almost everyone felt like they had played some part in getting these two to this special day.
Even I got a little choked up, seeing Molly walk down the aisle in her mother’s lace gown, knowing everything they’d gone through to make it here.
I couldn’t help but glance over at Cora at that moment and every moment after.
This was what I wanted.
Looking around at all the people crammed in the inn once more after another rainy weekend, I chuckled under my breath. Well, maybe not exactly this.
But I wanted the happiness. The moment where our lives became one. When a family was born. I knew this—a wedding might be too soon for both of us—after all, we’d only just started dating, but I saw it on the brink of the horizon, like a lighthouse beacon calling me home.
“She’s a good match for you,” my mom said as we watched from the sidelines while Cora and Lizzie danced along with several other guests on the makeshift dance floor that had been set up in the parlor.
The original plan had been for a reception under the stars, but the early months of autumn were turning out to be soggy ones, and last-minute preparations to move everything indoors had had to be made.
Thank goodness for it, too, because as the sun set, lightning lit the sky, making me wonder just how bad it might still get. Here, in Ocracoke, we were no strangers to weather. I had many childhood memories of hunkering down to wait out a storm and even several evacuations. Jake and Molly were lucky, and the tropical storm that was supposed to barrel toward the coast had dissipated, and we were only experiencing the remnants.
Still, remnants or not, the sky was angry.
“Did you hear me, boy?” my mother said, leaning into me.
I shook my head, smiling. “I heard you, Mama. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more.”
“Now, this opinion is all just speculation, you see, since I still have not been formally introduced.”
I blew out a breath and turned. “You’ve met both Lizzie and Cora half a dozen times,” I protested. “You had an hour-long conversation over iced tea the other day at the party.”
She folded her arms in front of her, feigning a pout. “Yes, well”—she made a noise in the back of her throat—“that’s different, and you know it.”
I caved. “I’ll bring them over for Sunday dinner next week.”
She opened her mouth to argue, she and I both knowing that today was Saturday, and there was a perfectly good Sunday dinner happening tomorrow.
“I have a feeling, we’ll all need rest tomorrow,” I said, nodding in the direction of my brother, who was already zeroing in on one of the bridesmaids, an out-of-town cousin from Molly’s family.
“Oh, your brother hasn’t been showing up for ages,” she stated.
“If I’m going to introduce Cora and Lizzie to my family, I’d like to do it properly. Cora’s still upset I didn’t get to meet her brother when we visited a few weeks ago.”
“Speaking of her family, I thought I’d get a chance to meet her parents at the birthday party last week. I’m sorry they weren’t able to attend.”
I nodded. “Me, too, but it’s still too early in the semester for them to take off a few days. And you know how involved a trip here is. Besides, they’ve made arrangements to visit over Thanksgiving break—all of them. I’ve pretty much booked the entire inn for the occasion.”
“Oh, that will be lovely. I’ve always wanted a house full of people to cook for.”
I gave her a sideways glance. “You always have a house full of people to cook for,” I argued.
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. A house full of family. Grandchildren running around and daughters-in-law helping in the kitchen while the men watch football.”
I let out a laugh, taking a sip of the beer I’d been nursing for far too long. “That wasn’t sexist at all.”
“Stop sassing me boy. For so long, it’s just been us three. And that’s been fine. Great even,” she said, taking ahold of my hand. “But I want to see you two happy. Rooted. Growing.”
“Me, too, Mom,” I said, my eyes trained on Lizzie and Cora.
Both of them were beautiful tonight. So beautiful, it almost hurt to look at them. I swallowed deeply, unable to turn away.
“But?” my mom asked, sensing my hesitation.
“Cora’s ex-husband scares me. His presence in their lives. I don’t know if I can handle him being around them. Every time I see him, I feel like I’m losing control.”
She tugged on my hand, her warm fingers still entwined with mine. I tore my gaze away from Cora and focused on my mother.
“Life is complicated, Dean. Relationships are complicated.”
I breathed out, “Yours wasn’t. With Dad.”
“No,” she agreed. “Everything about your father was easy. I met a man, and we fell in love, had a couple of kids, and settled into a very comfortable sort of life. Until one day, out of the blue, he died. Then, it got complicated. No one goes into a relationship, knowing it’s going to end badly, but you can’t go back and erase your past. Besides, why would you want to? Look where it got me,” she said with one last smile. “I can already hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet.” Her eyes darted to Cora once more as I rolled my eyes. “Be blessed in what God has given you, son. Everything else will find its place.”
My mom’s version of chill basically.
I took her advice, heading to join my ladies on the dance floor, when I saw Lizzie turn toward the front door and yell, “Daddy!”
Her excited, definitely outdoor voice was heard across the room, and as everyone pivoted around to face the direction she was looking, I caught sight of Blake, clearly embarrassed, doing his best to sneak out of the inn.
Cora and I along with Lizzie charging forward, arms wide, closed the distance to figure out what was going on. I looked back, hoping Molly and Jake hadn’t noticed. Thankfully, they hadn’t.
Actually, as my eyes scanned the room, I had no idea where they were. Considering the sexy come-hither eyes Molly had been giving him during dinner, I probably didn’t want to know.
“Look at my pretty dress, Daddy. It has sequins on it. Mommy called them sparkles, but they’re really not. It was made in China. Did you know that, in China, they—”
“What are you doing here?” Cora asked, placing a gentle hand on Lizzie’s shoulder.
For the first time since meeting the guy, he looked genuinely embarrassed and maybe a little drunk. “Lizzie left her rain jacket at the restaurant last night. I thought she might need it,” he said, holding it up for evidence. “I was just going to go drop it off by her door before heading off to the airport.”
“You’re leaving?” Cora said. “In this weather?”
He looked surprised. “Yes. Why?”
I lifted my arm, palm up toward the front door, the universal sign for duh. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in the midst of a pretty bad storm.”
“Yeah, I did,” he shot back, a definite whiff of alcohol coming off his breath. “And I’ve flown in worse.”
“Maybe in a major airport, sure. But here? No way. Besides,” I said, pointing toward one of the tables in the corner, “isn’t that your pilot?”
I was taking a wild guess, but the guy I was motioning toward happened to be one of the best pilots in town. And Blake seemed like the-best-of-the-best kind of guy.
“Son of a bitch,” he swore.
“Guess he figured you’d make the same assumption as the rest of us. No one travels in this weather. It’s just the way it is.”
“So, what am I supposed to do? I left the key for my rental on the counter before I locked up.”
I turned to Cora and then Lizzie before letting out a frustrated breath.
Growth. It was all about growth, right?
“Go grab a drink, I guess. You’re not going anywhere until morning.”
Blake gave one last longing look toward the door before Lizzie grabbed his hand, tugging him toward the dance floor.
“Yay!” Lizzie exclaimed when he finally gave in. “Come dance with me, Daddy. I promise not to step on your feet. Well, maybe not promise, but I’ll try. You, too, Dean!”
I forced a laugh, hating the idea of Lizzie out on the dance floor with Blake. “You go on ahead. l’ll be out there in a bit.”
She didn’t waste a second, pulling a less-than-thrilled-looking Blake out onto the dance floor, while Cora wrapped her arms around my waist.
“That was more than generous. More than he deserved.”
“I told you I’d try. Besides, I couldn’t let the guy leave, trashed.”
“Thank you,” she said. “But, if it helps, I’ll go spit in his drink.”
I laughed, a real one this time, as my hands found hers and decided to do what I’d been waiting to do all night.
I took her by the hand, and we danced until we forgot all about complications. Until all there was left was us and infinite possibilities.
The night grew late, and many of the guests had left. I sat back at one of the tables, watching my two best friends slow-dancing, laughing and smiling like they were the two happiest people on the planet.
No doubt they might just be.
Cora was once again on the dance floor with Lizzie, who refused to go to bed, holding out as long as she could. Cora, knowing she’d fail miserably with a house full of people, gave in and decided a few extra dances with her daughter never hurt anyone.
Sitting there, watching them, I couldn’t agree more.
“Got everything wrapped up in a nice little package, now don’t you? And record timing, too. What? A month? Or has this been going on longer than that? Are you the reason she moved down to this crappy town?”
I turned to see Blake basically falling into the seat next to me. He smelled like a bourbon distillery. I guessed my invitation for a drink hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“What?” I said.
“The thing you have going on with my wife.” He paused. “Excuse me, my ex-wife.”
I shook my head, feeling a mixture of anger and embarrassment for the guy. “Not really any of your business, is it?”
“Nope,” he said, staring down at his empty glass. “Not anymore. Not since she left me. She was always so difficult, you see.”
“Difficult?” The word made my blood boil.
“Yeah,.At first, I loved it. Growing up, no one ever defied me. Everyone did what I’d asked. Nannies, tutors. Hell, I even got my professors to change a few poor grades in college with sheer determination. But Cora? She was so different. So real. She had a genuineness about her, and I found it so interesting. Captivating really. I kept trying to force her to fit into my world, but try as I might, she didn’t. God, she’d make me so angry.”
“And so, you hit her?” I seethed.
His eyes flashed. “I never said I was perfect. Besides, looks like it all worked out in the end. For you at least.”
“For me?”
“Sure, you get to be the hero. Swoop in and steal my place.”
“Steal your place? No one is stealing anything here, Blake. You gave up everything the minute you struck your wife,” I said, my voice lowered. “This,” I said, “them”—I motioned toward Cora and Lizzie—“they could have still been yours if you had just realized you already had everything you wanted and stopped acting like a pathetic, spoiled little bitch. That woman is amazing. Just the way she is. She doesn’t need to be changed or molded into someone else. She’s already perfect.”
His eyes settled on Cora for a brief second before coming back to me. I saw a flash of pain and then something else. Malice. If there was one thing I’d learned from Cora, it was that, when Blake was hurting, he lashed out.
And that look in his eyes confirmed one thing. Blake had just put on his fighting gloves.
His eyes slowly lingered down toward my left arm to the prosthetic hand peeking out of my suit jacket. “Figures she’d pick someone like you.”
I stood up, the sound of my chair scraping against the wood floor grabbing the attention of several people around me. I knew I shouldn’t react, but part of me couldn’t help it. I’d been a ticking time bomb since this guy showed up, and that daring look in his eyes was like dangling a carrot in front of a starved horse.
I couldn’t resist.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Clearly pleased with himself, he rose to the occasion. “Well, I suppose it means, for starters, you’re weak. Crippled.” He reached out and flicked my prosthesis for effect. “If I was scared and alone, starving for attention, and ran into you? Well, I just might fall in love with you, too. I’m assuming you have some sort of sad, sappy story to go along with this piece of plastic on your arm? Something that really gets the girls’ juices going. How many times have you used it?”
My body was humming with raw, untapped anger as he rambled on, smiling nonetheless. I could see what he was doing as he was doing it.
Egging me on.
But it was as if my body and my brain disconnected, and my body took the helm of the ship.
“How long exactly did it take my overly emotional ex-wife to jump in bed with you? A day? She’s a real fire pistol, too, isn’t she? And that mouth of hers? Really hoovers the thing right in there.”
“Dean?” My brother had taken notice and ditched his bridesmaid to try to step in.
“Go, Taylor,” I said. “Just go.”
“Taylor? This your brother Lizzie was telling me about? The other fisherman? The one who actually fishes? Hey, what are the chances you could get me to shore tonight, buddy?”
“No,” I barked. “No one is taking you anywhere in this weather, Blake. I told you that. Besides,” I said, pulling out the set of keys I’d taken away hours ago, “Taylor has the night off. Don’t you, brother?”
“Right,” he said, his eyes darting between Blake and me before he stepped back to join his bridesmaid.
“Man, you guys on this island are a bunch of pussies when it comes to weather,” he said. “But at least you have plenty of it. Pussy, I mean. Maybe I’ll just go find some of my own. Your brother looks like he found a good one. I think I spotted a bridesmaid earlier who looked promising—a pretty blonde with a funny name. Minnie or Mickie?”
Millie, Molly’s younger sister.
My stomach heaved, and my fists clenched.
“You have yourself a good night,” he said. “Well, who am I kidding? Of course you’ll have a good night. You’ll be burying yourself over and over in my ex-wife, and as we both know—”
I hit him.
I hit him so hard, he flew back into the table, shattering glasses and breaking chairs. It was like one of those slow-motion scenes from a movie. Only there was no slow motion, and the blood wasn’t fake.
For as drunk as he was, it didn’t take him long to pop back up and take a shot at me. Thankfully, there must not have been much roughhousing or boxing classes in finishing school because the guy punched like a toddler. Still, he managed to get a few shots in.
“Son of a bitch!” he roared before someone—Jake, I realized—grabbed him from behind to separate us.
My brother tried to do the same for me, but I shrugged him off.
“I’m fine!” I hollered, taking my first look around. “I’m fine.”
There were flower petals everywhere as glass littered the floor. The remaining wedding guests were all huddled together, looking shocked and scared.
I scanned the room, finding the two most important guests.
Cora and Lizzie.
They both stood in a corner, clinging to each other, staring at me with disbelief in their eyes.
Disbelief and disappointment.
“Okay!” Jake announced. “Show’s over. Let’s get this cleaned up. I’m gonna grab some ice.”
I gave him a look of apology, and he just shook his head, waving it off as he headed for the kitchen.
As I walked off in the direction of Cora, I knew her forgiveness wouldn’t come nearly as easy. I watched as she whispered in Lizzie’s ear, sending her toward the kitchen after Jake.
“Cora,” I said, barely able to make eye contact.
“I can’t do this,” she said.
“You can’t do what?”
“This,” she said. “Any of this. I can’t go through life like this with the two of you at each other’s throats in front of Lizzie all the time.”
A frustrated breath escaped my lips. “I know. I’m sorry. He egged me on, and I shouldn’t have let him.”
“Stop,” she said. “It doesn’t even matter.” A tear ran down her cheek. “And I can’t believe I have to do this. But you’re making me choose between the two of you. You’re making me choose between the man I love and the father of my child.”
“Please, no,” I begged, pulling her into the hall for privacy. “I’m not making you choose anything. I can do this. I can.”
She let out a strangled laugh. “You just proved that you clearly can’t, Dean. You just clobbered him at your best friend’s wedding. Lizzie has one father. And I need him to be a bright light in her eyes, not the horrible monster that he became to me. So, I’ll fight for that, and if that means walking away from this, from what we have, I’ll do it. For her, I’ll do anything. Even if it means giving up my own happiness.”
“Has anyone seen my keys?” Taylor’s voice resonated through the house at the same time I heard Jake call out, “Where did he go?”
Cora and I must have sensed it.
Something was up.
We both turned toward the parlor, and I found Jake with a small med kit and ice and a bewildered-looking Taylor.
“Where did who go?” I asked.
“Blake,” Jake said. “I set him down at this table before I went to the kitchen, and he’s gone.”
“And so are my keys,” Taylor said, pointing to where I’d set his keys down right before Blake and I went to blows.
The giant set of keys that had access to every boat we owned in the harbor.
“Well, maybe they flew off the table when you hit the guy,” Taylor said.
“Maybe he’s in the restroom,” Cora said.
Everyone started looking around at once. After five minutes, he was a no-show. And so was Taylor’s truck.
“Why the fuck would he take my truck? He has a car of his own.”
“Does it really matter at this point?” I asked.
“Where do you think he went?” Cora asked, moving on to more pressing issues.
“I don’t know, but he was pretty drunk. Wherever he went, we need to find him before he gets hurt. Or worse, before he hurts someone else.” I pulled my keys out of my pocket, just as Taylor’s phone began to ring. “I’ll go look for him.”
“What?” Taylor said loud enough to make everyone turn. He held up a finger, signaling for me to wait. “When?” he asked the person on the phone before turning to us. “Someone just took one of our boats out of the marina.”
“Oh my God, in this weather? He wouldn’t,” I said. “Does he even know how to operate a boat?”
Cora nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. It’s one of his hobbies.”
Grabbing the phone from Taylor, I held it up to my ear. “Hi, who is this?”
“Dean, is that you? This is Dwight Bosley. I live just behind the marina, over on the—”
“I know where you live, Dwight,” I said, feeling too impatient to wait for the old man to continue.
“Oh, yes, of course. Anyway, I saw Taylor’s truck skate into the parking lot just a few minutes ago, which was alarming because it wasn’t too long ago that the Mrs. and I left the wedding, and I remembered you taking away his keys.”
“Dwight, which boat did he take?” I pressed.
“Smaller one,” he answered. “One of the boats meant for the inshore tours—or at least, that’s what it looked like from my window. I was so worried it was Taylor. That’s why I called him first. But, now, I feel terrible I didn’t call Macon first, knowing someone stole it. Do you want me to call him? Macon, that is.”
“I’ll do it myself,” I said, knowing Macon wouldn’t do a lick of good right now.
He couldn’t steer a boat in a straight line to save his life.
Never could.
Handing back the phone to my brother, who was still three sheets to the wind, and then glancing in the direction of my best friend, still dressed in his wedding attire, holding a med kit and a bag of ice, while his new wife stood by his side, I knew I was the only option.
So, I took a deep breath, and I made a choice.
“I’m going after him,” I announced to the room.
And, before anyone could change my mind, I charged out of the house and toward the churning dark water that had already tried to steal my life once, and I begged it not to do so a second time.