Kenzie

 

The dim light flickered overhead. It was deathly quiet in the new jail cell her father had moved her to shortly after she had thrown that note down to Xavier. She had promised to stay in her room and be quiet, terrified of just where she might be going, but Matteo hadn’t bothered to listen. He wasn’t going to believe her no matter what she said. A secured room in the corner of the basement was her new home, and as far as her father was concerned she would stay there until the baby was born.

 

Angelo had been commanded to bring down her books, a small concession. What was the point of worrying about schoolwork when she wouldn’t be able to attend classes? There was no telling what might happen to her now, and she couldn’t possibly concentrate on studying when she knew her life was on the line. Kenzie rubbed her still-flat stomach as she lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. It showed the exposed joists of the floor above. Not a very attractive scene, but it went perfectly with the concrete block walls and the concrete floor.

 

Kenzie knew that this was essentially her father’s panic room. It was a secure fortress within his own home, where he could retreat if things got bad. She had seen the inside of it once before, when she was very young, but at that time Matteo’s men had been filling it with guns and strange little suitcases. All of that had been removed now, and her father had had his goons carry in an small, uncomfortable bed and a few sparse pieces of furniture. It was a prison, indeed.

 

“I’m so sorry, little one. I’m bringing you into a horrible world, one that may be even worse for you than it has been for me. It might not be so bad if I knew I could be around to protect you, but I’ve gone and messed that up already. Your last hope is going to be your father, but your grandfather will never let that happen.” She swiped at a tear as it trickled down her cheek. “I should have played along for a while and let Matteo think I was on his side. At least then I would have been able to see you grow up. But once you’re born, I’ll either be dead or wishing I was. I guess the most I can hope for you is that you are a boy and that you want to be a part of this crime family. You’ll have a short life, but maybe you won’t know the kind of pain that I do.” It was sick to think that her child cooperating with her father was the best potential outcome, but she couldn’t change the way things were. She was alone in the world.

 

Kenzie thought back to the moment her father had found out for sure she was pregnant. He had been happy, as any grandparent should be, but for all the wrong reasons. Matteo only wanted to use the child for his own purposes. That was no reason to bring a baby into the world.

 

The heavy footsteps overhead told her that she wouldn’t be alone with her thoughts for long. Kenzie cringed as the door was flung open and her father entered. His face was red, and he had his shoulders hunched up around his ears. “I suggest you tell me everything, right now.” Matteo’s voice was icy cold.

 

Kenzie sat up, adrenaline buzzing in her veins. At one time, she had loved her father and had looked forward to seeing him when she came home from school. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time, and every encounter now was just Kenzie holding her breath to see what would happen to her. “About what?”

 

Matteo held up two fingers. “Twice now that shithole biker has come here looking for you.”

 

“Twice?” She blinked and turned away from her father. She had known about the first time, because that was when she had thrown down the note. Clearly, she had missed something.

 

“Yes, twice.” He emphasized the second word, making it drip from his tongue like something foreign and disgusting in his mouth. “He just broke into the back of my house looking for you. It’s only because Tiny is such a buffoon that he got away. Both of us nearly got shot, and I have a feeling this is all your fault.”

 

Her heart thundered in her ears, and she didn’t dare stand up for fear of passing out. Maybe there was hope for her yet. Xavier hadn’t given up on her, not yet. Her mind raced with ideas as to why he would be coming and what he had planned. “I don’t understand.”

 

“I don’t either,” Matteo affirmed, crossing the room toward her. He left the door wide open, but there was no doubt that several of his men were standing somewhere on the other side of it. If Xavier had broken in, the boss had likely increased his guard. “Why is he so desperate to find you?”

 

It wasn’t going to do her any good to tell the truth. Kenzie wasn’t even sure she knew what the truth was, other than Xavier had agreed to help her. She couldn’t say what his motive truly was. “I don’t know. The baby, I guess?”

 

Matteo’s eyes flashed to her stomach and then back to her face. “What did you tell him? He already knew about the baby when he showed up here the other day, and then he comes sneaking in like he’s going to whisk you away somewhere. I have a suspicion that you’re working with him to bring me down, Kenzie, and I’m not going to stand for it.”

 

Her stomach curled in on itself, even more so than it usually did when she had morning sickness. It had been bad for the last few days, so bad that Kenzie had barely been able to keep any food down. And it didn’t just happen in the morning and then go away; she felt sick almost from the time she woke up until the time she went to bed. “I’m not doing anything like that. I don’t know any more than you do.” It wasn’t completely a lie. If Matteo didn’t realize that Xavier was trying to get her out from under his thumb, then he was an idiot.

 

“I’m not sure I believe you. At one time, Kenzie, I thought I could rely on you. I thought you were a dedicated part of this family. After all, you told me how you were going to become a lawyer just so you could help us out. That’s something big.” He shook his head, giving her a look of such disappointment that almost believed him.

 

Kenzie knew all of this was from Matteo’s own imagination. She had contemplated law school at one point, and her father had taken the idea and run with it. She, however, had never said anything about helping the family. That was all him. Still, this wasn’t the time to correct him on it, not when she might never see the light of day again.

 

“But now you’ve betrayed me in more ways than I’d like to count. I don’t know exactly what you did, but I know you’ll never get a chance to see the dirtbag again. You’ll never have another second to yourself, because I’m not going to let Flynn have a chance at getting to you.” Matteo shook his finger at her, his face nearly purple now.

 

“Can’t I at least go back to my room?” she asked, casting her glance at the concrete walls and floor that surrounded her. It was dismal, at best. “I’d like to at least have a window to look out of. It might not be so bad then.”

 

“If you don’t like being down here, then you need to remember that it’s your own doing. You must have gone to Flynn at some point, or he wouldn’t be so desperate to get to you and he wouldn’t know about the baby. He would have written you off weeks ago as just another slut trying to use him.”

 

Kenzie’s stomach revolted against her. She pulled in a deep breath, trying to dispel the nausea, but it wasn’t enough. As she reached for the bottle of water that rested on a nearby table, her insides lurched. Kenzie lunged for the trash can and bent over it. Angelo had brought her a meager lunch on a tray, and she heaved up every bit of it. Her stomach continued to contract, trying to purge her system completely. Her throat burned as her body fought against her instincts, and she sobbed over the trash can.

 

“Don’t go thinking I’ll feel sorry for you,” Matteo said, as though she had vomited on purpose. “When you’re pregnant, you puke. I know how it is.”

 

Kenzie shook her head. Tears leaked through her closed eyelids as she willed her body to be still for a moment. “I know, but I don’t think that’s it. This is something different. I can feel it.”

 

Matteo threw his hands in the air. “Why did I have to have a daughter? You’d better hope that little brat inside you is a boy, otherwise I might sell it along with you. There’s no point being so dramatic. It’s not going to change my mind.”

 

She looked up at him, willing all of her desperation and sincerity to show in her eyes. “Please, Daddy. Just let me go to the doctor.”

 

Her father hesitated for just a moment, and then he sighed. “Fine, but you aren’t going anywhere. I’ll bring a doctor in to see you. That’ll be good enough.” He turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. The silence that fell in the room afterwards was so thick it made Kenzie’s ears ring. She laid back on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The knock that came on her door an hour later was so gentle that it startled Kenzie out of a deep sleep. Angelo and Tiny usually beat on her door like they were storming a castle, and her father didn’t bother to knock at all. She hesitated as she sat up on the edge of the mattress, moving slowly so as not to disturb her stomach again. “Yes?”

 

The door opened a crack, and the graying head of a man she didn’t recognize peeked in. “Miss Labriola? My name is Dr. Girtman. Your father said you needed to see me.”

 

“Please come in.” Kenzie would have much rather chosen her own doctor and done this in a proper exam room. But this was the only thing her father was going to allow, and she was going to have to take what she could get. She felt a certain sense of hope and relief that Matteo had even allowed this man to come.

 

Dr. Girtman had a medical bag with him, and he set it down on the table. He unzipped it and pulled out a blood pressure cuff. “Why don’t you tell me about your symptoms?” He was a frail-looking man with knobby knuckles and veins that stuck out of his skin. His white hair stuck out on either side of his head, uncombed. But his hands were warm as he wrapped the cuff around her upper arm, and he treated her with more kindness than anyone she had been around in a long time.

 

Kenzie had to wonder where Matteo had found this man. Back-alley doctors were usually young and hungry for all the money they could get, no matter what kind of oaths they had taken back in medical school (or if they had even finished medical school). This man was a different sort, and she was grateful. “I’m exhausted all the time. I can’t concentrate, and I’m throwing up constantly. I know those are all normal symptoms of pregnancy, but this just seems like an awful lot.”

 

The old man smiled and looked at her fondly with his pale blue eyes. “You say ‘symptom’ like you have a disease. And that’s how a lot of doctors and hospitals choose to treat a woman with child. But this is so much more important than just some head cold. I can’t just throw some generic medicine at you and expect the problems to go away. Everything you do or experience during your pregnancy can change the outcome. Tell me a little bit more about what’s been going on in your life.”

 

“What’s been going on?” she asked, stunned. Nobody had really ever stopped to ask her that before. And this man seemed to not only know about pregnancy, but to care about it.

 

“Yes, yes.” Dr. Girtman took a stethoscope out of his bag and put it around his neck. “Sometimes, it’s the everyday things that we don’t really think about that affect us the most.”

 

At this new opportunity, Kenzie found the words flooding out of her mouth. While she left out the details about the blackmail, she told Dr. Girtman all about how she’d had a one-night stand with Xavier that wasn’t supposed to mean anything, that she had gotten pregnant, and how enraged her father was. Matteo would wring her neck if he had any idea what she was doing. He wouldn’t want her to reveal their lives to anyone, even if he had been the one to bring the doctor into the house. “I wasn’t sure at first what I was going to do, but it’s like I really haven’t been given a choice. My father is so angry, and I think he would kill Xavier if he could get his hands on him. I just want to live my life, but everyone else seems to be trying to live it for me.”

 

Dr. Girtman nodded as he took his stethoscope from around his neck and put it back in his medical bag next to a heartbeat monitor, a thermometer, and a blood pressure cuff. He had listened quietly the entire time she talked, nodding occasionally and never chastising her for what had happened. He had no harsh words for her even though she’d made some less-than-stellar choices. “Well, my dear, you might as well get used to that. Once you have a baby, he or she will be the center of your universe. As for right now …” he trailed off as he looked around him at her little corner of the basement. “I can see that you’re stressed. I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with you or with the baby, but you clearly need lots of good vitamins, nutritious food, and light exercise. I don’t suppose there’s any way you can stay in a, shall we say, slightly more comfortable part of the house?”

 

Kenzie’s lips pursed, and she shook her head as she glanced at the door. She hoped nobody would take the doctor’s honesty out on him. “I’m afraid I’m stuck here for the moment.”

 

The doctor looked concerned, but it was obvious he understood her situation. Otherwise, he never would have agreed to come to the house to do the exam. “I see. Sometimes we have to make the best of bad circumstances. I’ll leave a prescription for some prenatal vitamins and supplements. Those should help you feel better in general. Make sure you eat lots of small meals to combat the nausea.” He nodded and smiled, opened his mouth as if to say one more thing, but then turned for the door.

 

“Dr. Girtman?”

 

He looked over his shoulder, his face frightened and yet curious. “Yes?”

 

“Thank you.” And she truly felt gratitude for this man. He was a complete stranger, and yet he had been far nicer to her than her father had ever thought about being.

 

Kenzie sank back down into the mattress, a weight lifted off her. It was so nice to find that there were still good people in the world, and Dr. Girtman was definitely one of them. Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible to only have house visits if she always got to see him, and not just some random quack with a dirty scalpel.

 

Shouts sounded just on the other side of her bedroom door, followed by heavy thuds on the stairs and a slammed door. Her father burst into the room a moment later. “What did that swindler say to you? He gave me a big load of bullshit about how I’m treating you, saying it was inhumane or some shit like that. What did you tell him?”

 

“I just told him how I was feeling,” she replied, raising her eyebrows a little and trying to look innocent this time. Normally, she liked pissing her father off, but it was better not to at the moment. “He said he left some prescriptions with you?”

 

“Yeah, that and a big lecture, the asshole. Who does he think he is to tell me how I should be treating my daughter? Like I don’t already know what you need.” He ran a hand through his hair, thoroughly irritated. “That shriveled old man had the balls to shake his finger at me. He’s lucky I didn’t have Tiny take care of him.”

 

Kenzie didn’t know what to say, and she was afraid that if she tried she would only end up laughing. She nodded and listened while her father raged, and he left a few minutes later. She turned and put a pillow over her face to muffle her laughter. The old man had gotten to her father, just as he deserved. It was a small blessing, but one she would gladly enjoy while she could.

 

When she was done, she lay back down and stared up at the ceiling. But instead of feeling forlorn and miserable, she felt comforted. It was a surprising relief to know that the baby really was okay, and she tentatively touched her stomach once again. Not too long ago, she had been so focused on getting rid of it and not going through with the pregnancy. Those thoughts were so distant now that it was as though they belonged to someone else. The child growing inside her suddenly felt so much more real. She would find a way out of this, and everything would be okay.