Chapter 14

Needless to say, sleep was pretty much out of the question. I tossed and turned the entire night. If he had been lying, he had nearly convinced me.

My head throbbed the next morning, and my head felt stuffy. Stress had completely wrecked my immune system, and I’d started to feel sick.

Ella took one look at me and came back with a glass of orange juice and a cup of green tea. “You cannot get sick. Not today.”

“I know, I know,” I said before I blew my nose into a tissue. I took some DayQuil and put the box into my bag. Today I would stand in front of the entire school and tell them why they should elect me as their senior class president.

I had been so caught up in my Jake obsession that I hadn’t spent much time working on my speech. At about three in the morning, I’d finally gotten up and finished it.

I was not a great public speaker, but I would just have to do the best I could. Cold or no cold.

Jake would be at the house soon to drive me to school. I sent him a text saying that I wasn’t feeling too well and that I would just see him later at school. It took a few minutes, but he finally responded with an “okay.” I wished I could stay home and crawl under my covers, but I had to turn in our English project, and I had to be there for the speeches. It would be my one chance to talk to the student body before they voted.

At school Scott had put up new campaign posters for Jake, but Ella had convinced Trent to help us stick a note on every locker in the school telling students to vote for me.

After calculus I saw Jake. He waved at me, but I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I could not let him inside my head right now. I wasn’t prepared to talk to him yet.

I couldn’t keep away from him in English, though. He sat down in front of me. “Hey, are you avoiding me?”

“What? No. Of course not. Why would you think that?” Duh, I was obviously avoiding him. I just couldn’t have this conversation with him here. I couldn’t keep it together for the speech if I had some emotional blowout with him. I gave him the manga assignment, and he turned it in to Ms. Aprils at her desk. She flipped through it and smiled at him. Maybe he was right. Aprils did love him, and we probably would get an A.

With the project finally out of the way, I could focus all my attention on the speech. The assembly was scheduled for right after lunch. And lunchtime came all too quickly. My throat started to feel sore. Ella made me drink more orange juice, and I took some more medication.

The bell rang, and my heart beat ridiculously fast. I wasn’t one of those people who would rather be the guy in the casket at a funeral than the guy giving the eulogy, but public speaking wasn’t exactly high on my list of fun things to do.

Ella walked on one side of me, Trent on the other, as we headed down the hallway. We went into the auditorium and nearly knocked over the school’s mascot, Edgar the Eagle. He made some obscene gestures with his arms/wings despite Ella’s apologizing. Trent grabbed a couple of seats in the front row, and Ella walked all the way to the front with me. Ms. Rathbone showed me where to sit.

“You are going to do so great,” Ella said.

“What if I’m terrible?”

“Then I’m sending Trent up here and he’s going to Napoleon Dynamite his way into winning this election for you.” That did get a smile out of me. She left the stage to sit with Trent.

I watched them for a little while, but they were observing me and whispering, and it felt weird. The only thing left for me to look at was all the seats in the auditorium filling up with people. Everyone seemed to be talking at once, and the sound was deafening.

Jake finally arrived and sat down in the empty seat next to me. He said hi, I said hi back. Before he could say anything else, Scott sat down on the other side of Jake and handed him some big index cards. I ignored them both as I read over my speech again. I hoped it was good enough. My stomach twisted and turned in anticipation.

Ms. Rathbone stepped to the microphone and ordered the audience to quiet down. It settled down pretty quickly, and she rattled off a list of announcements that I completely tuned out. All I could think about was not humiliating myself, and how I was absolutely not allowed to sneak a look at Jake.

The headmistress outlined who would be speaking. Several student council positions only had one person running. They were Jake’s friends. Football players, cheerleaders. People no one would dare run against. They mostly got up to the microphone, introduced themselves, mentioned the office they were running for, and sat back down. I was going to have to speak sooner than I had anticipated.

The people running for treasurer and secretary had to give speeches since those offices were contested. I looked at them and pretended to listen, but I couldn’t. I had to stay focused on my speech. I started to worry that it wasn’t sophisticated enough or clever enough.

Scott got up to say that he was running for vice president and got a huge round of applause. It sickened me—how could people be taken in by that slimeball? It was amazing what being somewhat attractive and athletic would get you.

Then it was my turn. I had thought Jake would go first, thinking it might be an alphabetical thing, but Ms. Rathbone called my name, and I had to go. I walked up to the podium and laid my papers down.

It was disconcerting to have every person in the room staring at me. I had never done anything like this before. I tried to speak, but my throat froze shut.

I widened my eyes and looked over at Ella and Trent. Trent smiled at me. Ella gave me a thumbs-up and mouthed, “You can do this!”

I could do this. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. “My name is Mattie Lowe, and I’m running for senior class president.”

I didn’t get any applause like the popular kids had. So I kept going. “A lot of things have changed recently at Malibu Prep. Things that were done behind our backs and without our input. I think since those changes affect us directly, we should have had some say in what goes on at this school. I think these uniforms are hideous. I think that seniors should have priority parking. I think we should be able to use our phones and text during school hours. Maybe not in class, but in between classes or during lunch. And speaking of lunch, I think it is crazy that we’re so close to so many amazing restaurants, and we’re not allowed to go off campus at lunchtime. It’s also ridiculous that we can’t bring our lunch from home and that all the vending machines were taken away. These rules have taken away our choices. What to wear, what we can eat. Who we can talk to. I think that’s wrong. All the adults in our lives, our teachers, our parents, they’re always telling us to be more responsible. They want us to hurry and grow up. Well, part of maturing is making your own decisions. How are we supposed to prove that we’re responsible or grown up if we’re never given the chance to make any decisions of our own? So if I’m elected president, I plan on changing all of that. I want us to get our choices back. A vote for Mattie Lowe is a vote for your voice to be heard. Thank you.”

I had done it. Everyone clapped for me. I returned to my chair and saw that Ella was standing up and applauding. She pulled Trent up, and they gave me my own personal standing ovation. I smiled at them. As I sat down, I noticed that my legs felt shaky and my hands trembled.

Jake leaned over to whisper, “Good job,” before Ms. Rathbone called him up. I was curious about what he would say, but it was just the typical things jocks always said. I’d thought Jake was different. That his speech would be different. Nope. He wanted more dances, more parties, and more money for sports.

“And in conclusion, I just want to remind you to think of Edgar, our school mascot, and vote for me. Because eagles soar high, not . . .”

Lowe. He was going to say that eagles soar high, not Lowe. I knew it, he knew it, every person in the room knew it. I could feel my face turning scarlet and berated myself for my own stupidity. Mercedes had been right. Look at what he was doing. About to humiliate me in front of the entire school.

I’ve never felt such an oppressive silence. Everyone seemed stunned until somebody yelled, “Burn!” That got a couple of laughs and some low moans. I could feel a thousand sets of eyes staring at me. It’s just like that dream where you’re at school naked, only it was really happening.

How could Jake do this?

Jake stood at the podium, looking as mortified as I felt. He could easily do it. Finish the sentence. Everyone would be impressed with his wit and cleverness.

I wanted to leave, but my feet felt glued to the floor. I waited for him to finish me off.

But he didn’t do it. Jake crumpled up his index card and sat back in the seat next to me. Everyone still seemed shocked. Not a single person clapped for him. Ms. Rathbone practically sprinted to the podium to dismiss the assembly and to remind everyone to head out now and vote.

“Mattie, I didn’t . . .”

I had no desire to listen to him. My feet finally started working, and I walked backstage, away from prying eyes.

I hadn’t gotten far when Jake reached out to take me by the arm, turning me to face him. “Leave me alone,” I hissed at him.

“You need to let me explain. I did not write this speech. Scott did. I know that’s no excuse. I should have gone through it before I read it out loud.”

I yanked my arm away from his grasp. I couldn’t think straight when he touched me. I was so angry, but I had to consider the facts. I thought of the speech and how little it had sounded like Jake to me. I had seen Scott hand him those cards. “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“I have never lied to you. I may have made a couple of bad choices recently, but I’ve never lied to you.”

Everything inside me wanted to believe him. The words I believe you came to the tip of my tongue. I clenched my teeth to keep them from escaping.

“Why didn’t you just write it yourself?”

He must have sensed that I was softening. “Because last night I had to choose between writing the speech and seeing you. I chose you.”

How could I not melt? I knew how busy he was. After he said that, I probably would have accepted any explanation to excuse his behavior. Somebody had drugged him. He had an evil twin. He had a time machine and would go back and undo it. Anything.

I wished I felt nothing for him. Instead I was angry and hurt, but underneath it all? I definitely still loved him. I couldn’t believe that I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

If he was playing me, he was amazingly good at it.

I wanted to test him. “Ella’s dating Trent. They’re serious.”

Jake looked really confused. “Um, okay. Good for Ella?”

“You’re not upset? You’re not jealous?”

“Why would I be? I told you that things with me and Ella were over.” He sounded so sincere and so bewildered.

Maybe Mercedes didn’t have the simplest explanation. Maybe the simplest explanation was the one that my heart believed. That Jake liked me. That Scott had set me up to be embarrassed, and Jake really hadn’t known anything about it.

Jake took a step toward me, and I took a step back. That made him stop. He looked and sounded hurt. “I’m so sorry that happened. I told Scott I was thinking about dropping out because I didn’t have time for it, and he said he would take care of it and help me because he wanted us all to do student council together.”

What did I say to that? “Okay.” His problems with his idiot friends were not really my problem.

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Look, if I win, I’m going to decline.”

“I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not my pity. What happened today was wrong. Listening to you up there, you really believe in something. You want this school to be a better place. I was just doing this to make my friends and my dad happy. You should be president. And I won’t have to decline because now I probably won’t even win.”

Jake and Ella. King and queen of the Land of Delusion. In what universe would Jake Kingston not win the election? “That’s nice and everything, but you sort of just humiliated me in front of the whole school, so I’m going to go now.”

But before I could leave, the curtains got thrown aside, and a fire-breathing Ms. Rathbone stood there. “Mr. Kingston, in my office now.”

“Can I just . . .”

“Now!” She stormed off, and Jake looked at me apologetically.

“I have to go. I know I don’t deserve to ask you this, but will you come to the masquerade ball tonight? I think we need to talk more about this.”

No, my head screamed. Tell him no! What is wrong with you?

What was wrong with me was that I was in love with him and wanted to believe him. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

He gave me a grin and started to say something else, but Ms. Rathbone shrieked at him from the back of the auditorium, and he ran out onto the stage and down the steps.

I didn’t need to think about it for long. The answer would be no.

* * *

Ella called Bill and explained the whole situation to him, and he actually left his studio to come and pull me out of school early. I stopped by the cafeteria to vote for myself (and took great satisfaction in crossing out Scott’s and Mercedes’s names and writing in Trent’s and Ella’s names instead) before I went home.

Once we got there, Dad asked me if I was all right. I told him I would live, and that apparently was good enough for him to head straight back to his painting.

Ella rushed me into her room and closed the door. “Just so you know, that speech totally backfired. People didn’t think it was cool,” she informed me. She said the general consensus seemed to be that he was a jerk and I’d handled it well. He’d had the higher ground, and he’d basically kicked me in the face. “People felt bad for you.”

“So I’m getting the pity vote?”

“A vote’s a vote,” she declared.

“Jake says that one line wasn’t his fault.”

“Oh, obviously,” Ella said as she went into her closet. “Scott was totally bragging about having written it to anyone who would listen.”

Jake had been telling me the truth.

It was like the sun coming out after a thunderstorm. Suddenly everything seemed brighter and warmer. I felt all glowy and happy inside.

“Ella? I think I need your help with something.”

She stuck her head out through the closet door. “What’s that?”

“I need you to take me shopping. I’m going to the masquerade ball tonight.”