At the shrill, unwelcome call of the alarm, Holly struggled to open her encrusted eyelids and pressed blindly at the snooze button until the dreadful noise finally stopped.

She tried to rub the sleep from her left eye but only succeeded in irritating her eyeball. She blinked a few times to dissipate the soreness but it still felt full of sand.

She’d lain awake for hours and then dropped into a restless light sleep in which she’d dreamed about what had happened to her back then. As could often happen with dreams, some things were mixed up, nonsensical, but unfortunately it had awakened the real, still vivid memory.

---

The day of the elaborately planned meal, Geraldine had continued to insist that Holly join her and her husband for dinner, despite Holly’s polite protests.

She’d gone back to her bedroom for a rare half an hour’s peace while Geraldine took a shower and got changed. Before she’d gone to her own room, her boss had told Holly what to wear and how to style her hair.

Sometimes Geraldine acted so weirdly, Holly had scowled to herself. What other woman would want a young girl hanging around like a spare part when she had the chance of a rare romantic night in with her husband? It didn’t make much sense.

Holly had showered quickly, washed her hair and wrapped herself in a soft, fleecy robe. She’d dried her hair and then pulled the dressing table stool over to the window, where she’d sat, her elbows on the windowsill, staring longingly out at the greenery beyond, luxuriating in the few minutes she had alone,

Over the last week, she’d spotted a new gardener once or twice. A guy around her own age with crew-cut hair and muscled arms. In fact, he looked rather like a younger Brendan.

‘What’s the new gardener’s name?’ she’d asked Geraldine one day, keeping her tone level. Her boss didn’t generally like Holly taking an interest in anything or anyone that didn’t directly benefit Geraldine herself.

‘What? I didn’t even know we had a new gardener.’ Geraldine had shrugged, uninterested. ‘Brendan sorts all that sort of thing out.’

Holly had spotted him again yesterday morning. He had such a nice face, kind and trustworthy, she’d thought. It would be so nice to have someone else to chat to here.

But she hadn’t seen him around today.

Movement caught her eye then and she saw a glint amongst the leaves as the metal gates swung back behind the trees. It looked like Brendan was home early.

That would no doubt panic Geraldine, Holly thought glumly. She’d already said she wanted to look perfect for when her husband arrived home.

The sleek black Ferrari glided up the driveway and parked outside the front entrance. Holly tracked it until it drew too close to the house for her to see.

Flicking the switch on the curling tongs, she began to style her hair the way Geraldine had suggested. She’d quickly learned that her boss’s suggestions were actually clear instructions and were not generally up for debate.

It was always easiest to do exactly as Geraldine bade her.

She applied a bit of make-up, fluffed up her curls and sprayed them, then slipped on the silky kimono-style dress that she’d worn only once before but that Geraldine had deemed was a look that suited her.

Fifteen minutes later, she had headed downstairs.

‘Wow, lucky me,’ Brendan had grinned when she appeared at the lounge door. ‘Two beautiful women to entertain me at dinner tonight.’

‘Hi, Brendan.’ Holly had smiled, but inside, she’d silently raged. Entertain him indeed! She’d much rather be watching tonight’s episode of Big Brother in the peace of her own room than witness the two of them simpering at each other for hours down here.

‘So, how’re things going with my two favourite ladies?’ Brendan had poured himself a generous whisky and Holly watched as he knocked it straight back before pouring another.

‘Everything’s good, thanks.’ She’d nodded, sensing an opportunity. ‘Brendan, I wondered if you’d had a chance to get a copy of my contract from Myra yet?’

‘I am such a klutz!’ He’d clapped his hand to his forehead. ‘I’ll get her to print it off on Monday when she’s back in the office. Pinky promise.’

Holly was well past nodding and thanking him by now. It was the same old story time after time, and she didn’t grace it with a response.

‘Wit-woo!’ Brendan had given a low whistle as Geraldine appeared. ‘I’m the luckiest man on earth.’

Holly had to agree. Geraldine looked simply stunning, in a full-length powder-blue gown that set her glossy chestnut hair off perfectly. A simple diamond collar hugged the base of her throat and more jewels glistened on her fingers and wrist.

Her eye make-up was dark and sultry and her lips pouted in a shimmery pale apricot gloss. In contrast, Holly felt like a little kid dressed as a woman.

‘You look really beautiful, Geraldine,’ she’d said dutifully.

‘Thank you, darling.’ She’d gracefully accepted the glass of champagne that Brendan handed her. He’d picked up another glass and offered it to Holly.

‘Thanks, but I was just going to have juice tonight,’ she’d said.

‘Ahem… nobody will be drinking orange juice on my watch.’ Brendan had grinned, holding his own glass aloft. ‘Cheers!’

They’d toasted and Holly took a sip of the fizz. She had to admit it did taste delicious.

After the food, which Holly had noticed they both barely touched, Brendan put on a George Michael album and the three of them retired to the big soft leather couches.

‘I’ll have another drink with you and then I’ll take myself up to bed,’ Holly had said. ‘It’s been a really lovely evening.’

‘Nonsense,’ Geraldine had replied. ‘We hardly ever get the chance to chat together, the three of us. I don’t want you to go up yet, Holly.’

Holly had forced a smile and wondered how many more of Brendan’s business stories she could endure without falling asleep. They all ran along the same lines: an amazing business opportunity presented itself, somebody mucked the deal up, everyone thought all was lost, and then clever, resourceful Brendan saved the day. Yawn.

The worst part had been that he addressed everything he said directly to Holly, forcing her to pay attention and make all the right noises in all the right places.

Geraldine’s initial brighter mood had seemed to desert her after dinner, and she’d sat staring into space as Brendan rattled through his stories, obviously bored out of her brains from hearing them all before.

Holly had thought the end of the evening was drawing near, that soon she’d be tucked up in bed savouring a little time alone before sleep. Precious moments when she could be herself again.

She couldn’t have known that within the hour, she would lose ‘Holly’ altogether. That even years later, she would still be fighting to find herself.