I didn’t want to dress up for the selection ceremony on Monday night like I had for the last one. I still wore a nice enough dress, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear anything that could be seen as even remotely slutty.

It was kind of sad to arrive at Cole’s house knowing that I would be eliminated tonight. It was what I wanted, but a part of me felt like I was giving up; that I was surrendering to the people who wanted me to fail. It was for the best though. At least, I hoped it was.

I barely listened as Angus reeled off his introduction for the camera. I must’ve looked pretty miserable because Skye kept shooting me concerned glances and trying to get me to smile. All the other contestants were watching Cole with hopeful eyes. I knew that mine were filled with resignation though.

When I glanced at Cole, I found that he was watching me too. He tried to give me a reassuring smile, but his lips remained tense and the smile lacked any warmth. He obviously wasn’t happy, but he wanted to do the right thing by me. I had to be grateful to him for that.

Angus handed him the first heart for the night, and the room started to buzz with nervous excitement. The contestants became still at my side, and all eyes were narrowed on that one heart-shaped piece of paper. The audience’s pick.

I had a feeling that Willow would be the one to be selected. She’d seemed so much more comfortable in front of the camera during her single date with Cole last week. I already knew how sweet she was, and I got the feeling that the audience would have discovered it during the episode too. I’d even overheard multiple people at school today talking about how cute the date had been and how they’d voted for her.

The moment Cole looked down at the heart his eyes snapped up to meet mine, and my stomach dropped.

“Madi.” He whispered my name. There was dread in his eyes, and I could see how sorry he was to have to call on me. I wanted to be angry with him, but it wasn’t his fault. The audience had voted for me to stay, so he didn’t have a choice.

I slowly walked up and stood before him.

“Madi, will you take a piece of my heart?” he asked. He looked so nervous and sad as he said it, like he was just as upset as I was.

I nodded and took the piece of paper he offered out to me. I couldn’t pretend to be excited in the way I knew Angus wanted, and he was practically glaring at me as I walked past him to take my place.

Once I was in position, I turned to face the cameras and tried to make my face a mask. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the audience votes. Cole caught my eye and gave a subtle nod toward the paper in my hand.

I glanced down at it and was surprised to find he’d written me another note.

“Madi, I’m not sure if you’ll get this tonight,” the note started. “But I prepared this card just in case the audience picked you again. If you are holding it now, then know that I understand why you don’t want to be in this competition. I would willingly let you go if that would make you happy. But you also need to know that you’re always going to miss the shot you never take. I haven’t given up on taking my shot with you.”

I smiled up at him, and his eyes brightened as a smile slowly started forming on his lips in return. We only shared a brief moment before he had to continue announcing the other contestants, but it left me feeling better about being selected. His reassurance made me feel like I could face another week of whispers in the school corridors because I wasn’t in this alone. I felt a flicker of hope for the first time that day, and I knew it had everything to do with the boy standing before me.

Watching him hand hearts to the others brought me a little more down to Earth though. Cole would still essentially be dating five other people after tonight. Yes, he’d written me a sweet note, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing things equally as sweet for everyone else.

As I watched the way his face lit up as he gave a heart to Teagan, I found myself feeling very confused. I couldn’t deny the sparks I’d begun to feel whenever I was close to him. But there was every chance he was feeling those sparks with other girls as well.

Cole continued handing out hearts until only Maria, Zoe and Brooke were left. There was a tense moment as Cole held up the last heart and looked between the three girls. Their expressions turned to stone as they waited for him to announce the final contender. This was the part of the show I hated the most. The seconds dragged out, and I could sense the torment the girls were going through.

When Cole finally called out a name it was like the air had suddenly rushed back into the room and everyone could breathe again. Zoe was his final choice. She walked up to receive her heart with a look of relief in her eyes. He appeared happy to give it to her, but it was clear from the way he kept sending worried glances toward the eliminated girls that he also felt guilty.

“Maria and Brooke,” Angus said, stepping forward. “I’m sorry, but neither of you has been selected to continue in Cole’s search for true love. You have both been eliminated from the competition.”

Brett walked forward, focusing his camera on the two girls as he captured their reactions. Maria didn’t seem too bothered and gave a small shrug, but I could see how annoyed Brooke was to have been taken out of contention. She was frowning and kept sending irritated glances toward her sister, as if it irked her that Laurie remained while she was being eliminated.

Cole’s choices weren’t too surprising seeing as he’d barely spent any time with Brooke or Maria on the group dates. It was so hard to know where his head was at though, and I wondered which one he’d been planning to keep. I knew that he’d agreed for me to take one of those two places, and I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t deserve to still be in the contest.

“Now it’s time for Cole to announce who will be joining him on this week’s single date,” Angus said. My fingers twitched at my sides as Cole’s eyes roamed over the group of contestants before him. He barely even looked at me though. I didn’t know whether to feel upset or relieved. I’d told him I wanted to play no more part in the contest, and I still felt apprehensive about the increased spotlight a single date would bring.

“Laurie,” Cole announced, giving the girl a big smile.

My heart skipped a beat and my mouth dropped open slightly. Laurie? He picked Laurie of all people? I couldn’t stop myself from turning to look at her. There was a smug smile gracing her features, and she appeared thoroughly pleased with herself.

I couldn’t stop the hurt and confusion from furrowing my brow as Laurie sashayed toward Cole and threw her arms around his neck. “Thanks for picking me, hot stuff. I’m going to show you the night of your life,” Laurie said.

I had to suppress a gag. Why couldn’t Cole see how fake Laurie was?

There were so many other lovely people still in the competition, and I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t picked someone like Teagan, who was incredibly beautiful both inside and out. I wasn’t jealous. At least, I didn’t think it was jealousy I was feeling. It was more like disappointment.

Once Angus wrapped up filming for the night, I made a quick exit. I knew Laurie would relish the opportunity to gloat about her upcoming date with Cole, and I didn’t want to hang around to hear it.

I was almost at my front doorstep when I heard my name being shouted from across the street. I slowly turned and was surprised to find Cole chasing after me.

“Shouldn’t you be finishing up with the others?” I asked, not even bothering to disguise my confusion.

“Angus has it under control,” Cole replied. “I just wanted to explain things to you.”

“What’s to explain?” I asked with a shrug. “The audience picked me; it’s not your fault I’m in this for another week. You can get rid of me next ceremony.”

He frowned, like he was confused about what I was saying, before he suddenly shook his head. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Laurie.”

“Oh, what about her?”

He dug his hands into his back pockets, and his gaze dropped to the ground for a second. “I just wanted to explain why I chose her tonight.”

My heart sped up as he spoke. I was desperate to know his reasons but also feared his answer. Was he hinting that Laurie wasn’t the person he wanted to pick, or was he about to open up and tell me about his feelings for her? I didn’t know either way, and I wasn’t sure I could handle the latter.

“Cole, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” I said. “It’s fine that you chose Laurie, really.”

His eyes darted up to look into mine and a flicker of confusion ran through them. “You’re okay with it?” he asked.

“Sure,” I shrugged again. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, his gaze still fraught with uncertainty. “I just thought that after Friday… And then you smiled when you read my note… I just wanted to check that you weren’t sad I didn’t pick you.”

I frowned, not really sure what he was trying to get at. The one thing I did know was that I definitely didn’t want him thinking I was jealous.

“Not at all,” I replied. “You know I want out of the competition anyway.” Ugh. The words were like some horrid sticky, chewy candy in my mouth. They tasted horrible, were impossible to spit out and all I wanted was to just swallow them.

“So, you’re not upset?”

“Of course not,” I said with a laugh. I was such a liar. “Laurie seems to really like you. I think you guys will have a great time together.”

I needed to tape my mouth closed. Why was I saying this crap to him? I didn’t think he’d have a good time with Laurie at all. In fact, the small devil sitting on my shoulder hoped they had a horrible time.

“Yeah, I guess,” he agreed.

There was so much going on beneath the surface of his cool expression. I could see it in his eyes, though I had no clue what he was thinking. I often found it hard to know what the hell was going on in that head of his.

“Anyway, I should probably get inside,” I said, jerking my thumb in the direction of the house. I needed to get away from him before I said something else stupid.

“It’s been a pretty long day.”

“Yeah, it has,” Cole agreed. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turned and walked back across the street without so much as a goodbye. I frowned after him, trying to understand what had gone wrong. He’d chosen Laurie for the date, and yet I felt like he was angry with me.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly and went into the house. Why did I feel like I had just made everything worse?

When Hayley and I arrived at school the next morning, there was a “Channel Five News” van parked by the front entrance and a gathering of students milling around it. I’d never seen a news truck at school before, and I searched the crowd for the source of the excitement. In the middle of it all, I saw the local news anchor standing in front of a camera.

“Is that Peggy Walton?” Hayley gasped as we got out of her car.

“Yeah, I think so,” I replied. The blonde reporter that had been gracing my TV screen every night for the last ten years was stunning in real life. She also seemed much taller than I expected.

She was standing on the front steps of the school interviewing Angus, with Cole and Laurie paired up at his side. Laurie had her arm tucked into Cole’s, and they looked like the picture perfect couple as they smiled for the news camera.

I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away as I watched the two of them snuggling before the camera crew and the crowd of kids. Angus was doing most of the talking, while Laurie kept sneaking loving glances at Cole.

“Any chance you feel like bailing on school?” I asked.

“I can’t, I have a Spanish quiz first up,” Hayley replied. “Sorry, Mads.”

I waved her comment away with one hand. “I’m only joking.” I wasn’t, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Hey, Madi.” I turned to find Jake getting out of the car next to us. I had been so absorbed by the spectacle in front of the school, I hadn’t even heard the car pull up.

“Hey, Jake,” I replied, my gaze drifting back toward Cole. I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away.

“You got a minute?” Jake asked.

I glanced at Hayley. She looked at me as if she was checking whether or not I wanted her to stay, so I gave her a small shake of my head. I could handle Jake myself. She nodded and started toward the school.

“Sure,” I said, turning back to look at Jake. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.” He shifted his backpack on his shoulder and tilted his head like he was concerned. “I heard about your locker yesterday.”

“Like you care,” I replied, with a shake of my head. This was the first time he’d spoken to me since we’d broken up. He wasn’t exactly my favorite person anymore and, after the rumors he’d spread, it was pretty clear I wasn’t his either.

“How can you say that?” he replied. “I know we’re broken up, but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you.”

“Yeah, well, you sure have a way of showing it,” I muttered.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“Just that, if you cared about me, you wouldn’t be spreading rumors about how I wouldn’t put out for you,” I replied.

He frowned and glanced around like he was worried we’d be overheard. “I didn’t spread those rumors,” he said. “I would never disrespect you like that.”

“So it was the tooth fairy telling the whole school I was frigid? Damn, I should’ve guessed.”

He lifted an eyebrow and shook his head. “Look, I don’t know how that rumor spread, but I would never tell anyone that was the reason for us breaking up. I really care about you.”

“Well, who was it then?” I asked.

“I have no idea,” he replied. “But I’ve been telling everyone it’s not true. I’ve been saying we broke up because we’d just grown apart.”

As I looked into his eyes, I found myself believing him. Jake never liked to outright lie, and when he did, he wasn’t very good at it. I could tell he was being honest. He could be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he wasn’t mean-spirited.

“Okay, fine, I believe you,” I said.

Jake smiled at me like he’d really needed to hear me say the words. “You always were the best. I’ve missed you, Mads.”

I nodded. I wasn’t quite ready to admit I’d missed him too. Jake and I hadn’t been a great couple, but it was like there was a massive void in my life without him in it.

“Do you think we could try to be friends?” he asked. There was so much hope in his eyes, and it seemed like he really wanted to try. It felt far too soon for any sort of friendship for me though.

“I’m not sure I’m quite there yet,” I replied. “But I think we could be eventually.”

“I can wait for eventually,” he said.

I turned back to look at the school and was relieved to find that the TV crew was now packing down and Cole and Laurie were nowhere to be seen. The crowd had also dispersed and I could see the school’s front doors, which had been obstructed by excited students when I first arrived.

I let out a breath. “Well, it looks like you’ve already started on being a good friend. You’ve stalled us enough that I won’t need to fight my way into school,” I said, nodding toward the empty parking lot.

“How about I do another good friend duty and walk you to your locker?” he asked.

I swallowed. I’d avoided my locker all of yesterday. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face it again so soon. I couldn’t stay away from it for the rest of the year though. I took in one big deep breath.

“Sure, let’s go.”

It was with some reluctance I walked into school at Jake’s side. I was amazed at how much distance had grown between us after such a short time. I felt different since we’d broken up, but he also felt different to me too. I found I was glad for his presence though. At least I wouldn’t have to face my locker alone.

My pace slowed as we neared my locker and I found myself wanting to squint my eyes shut and continue right past it. I resisted the temptation though, knowing that I couldn’t go another day without any of my books.

I shuddered to a stop as my locker came fully into view, and my hands lifted to my mouth as I gasped. The locker was clean. Shock raced through me, and I stayed cemented to the spot as I took in the shiny surface that was now free of any graffiti.

“Who?” I whispered. “How?”

I shook my head, still trying to believe that the insulting names were really gone. They’d been cleaned off so thoroughly it was like they’d never been there at all. Relieved tears welled in my eyes and I started smiling as I walked toward the locker.

“I heard Cole stayed late after school and cleaned it,” Jake said, from where he stood beside me.

“What?” I glanced at Jake, not sure I had heard him correctly.

“He must really like you,” he added. It looked like it nearly killed him to say aloud, and there was a frown on his face, as if his own words had upset him. Maybe he wasn’t quite as over our breakup as he thought?

I was too busy thinking about my locker though to focus on that. My heart was doing a strange flutter as I looked back at it.

“He really cleaned it?” I murmured.

“Apparently.”

I touched the cold metal, still not quite able to believe the horrible words were gone.

“Well, I should get to class. I’ll see you around,” Jake said.

“See you, Jake,” I replied, my gaze still focused on my locker.

Having it clean didn’t take the hurt away, but it made me feel like I could begin to move past it.

I gathered my books and walked to class, relieved that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. As I walked into my English class, I caught sight of Cole and grinned. I no longer cared about seeing him canoodling with Laurie for the cameras. I didn’t even care that there had been a heap of “#Laurole” posters dotting the corridors. It was a silly couple name anyway. All I seemed to care about was the fact that Cole had done something so kind, without even taking the credit for it; that he was as good on the inside as I’d been beginning to suspect.

“Hey,” I said in greeting, as I sat in my usual seat diagonally in front of him.

“Matthews,” he replied.

I swiveled in my chair so I was facing him. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I got a chance, the teacher entered the room and called for everyone to be silent. I begrudgingly turned to face the front of the room.

Instead of listening to Mr. Smith, I tore a piece of paper out of my notebook and started to write.

“I heard what you did with my locker. You don’t know how much it means to me! Thank you!!!!!!!"

I folded the piece of paper and waited for Mr. Randall to start writing on the whiteboard before I passed it back to Cole. As he took the paper, our fingers brushed for the briefest of seconds, making my skin tingle. I was so surprised by the sensation I almost dropped the note.

I glanced over my shoulder at him as he read my words and my heart fluttered when he smiled. He glanced up at me, the small smile transforming into a beaming grin when he caught my eye. His whole face was lit up as he dipped his head back down and focused on the page and wrote a response.

Mr. Randall started speaking again, and I begrudgingly turned away from Cole and faced the front of the room. He was explaining our next assignment, but I really wasn’t listening. All I could focus on was what message Cole was about to send me.

Seconds after Mr. Randall turned to start scribbling on the whiteboard, a small ball of paper landed on my desk. I smiled and began to unravel it. Once it was pressed flat, I realized Cole had torn it in the shape of half a heart. The edges were uneven and the paper scrunched, but I far preferred it to the ones I’d received in the selection ceremonies. I glanced over my shoulder at him. “A piece of your heart?” I mouthed at him.

He grinned but shook his head and nodded at the heart, indicating for me to flip it over. I did as he asked and found a message was written on the other side.

“I’d do anything to put that smile back on your face.”

It was such a simple sentence, but it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I read it over several times, and each time my heart swelled a little bigger. I looked at Cole and smiled, hoping he could see how much his words meant to me.

He was already watching me, and I found myself trapped in his stare as our eyes met. The look we exchanged was intense, and a torrent of feelings seemed to rise up within me. Feelings I never thought I’d have for him, but ones I found I could no longer deny.

The realization hit me like a slap across the face. I liked Cole Kingston. I turned from him quickly, suddenly worried that my feelings were clearly etched across my features and he would realize my dirty little secret.

I didn’t just want one of the pieces of his heart—I wanted them all.