I was shaking in the passenger seat of the car as Teagan drove us away from the campsite. Tears were streaming down my face, and I kept rubbing them away with the sleeve of my sweater. Dawn was approaching and the edges of the horizon were beginning to brighten, but it was still dark outside and there was nothing appealing about the thought of a new day. All I wanted was to remain in the darkness of night. It seemed safer here; more concealed from the ugly truths I had witnessed in the woods.

“I just don’t believe it,” Willow said. It was the fifth time she’d repeated the phrase, and each time she sounded just as shocked. “Cole isn’t like that.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t seem like him,” Teagan said. She kept darting concerned looks my way. I guess she hadn’t realized just how much I liked the guy.

“Seriously, are you okay, Madi?” Teagan asked.

I nodded, but it was hard to lie when my tears were giving me away.

“You know, for someone so pretty you sure are a sore sight when you cry,” Teagan said. “I knew you had to have a fault somewhere.”

I gave a small laugh. She wasn’t the first person to tell me I was an ugly crier, and she probably wouldn’t be the last. My face seemed to swell whenever I cried and everything went red. It looked more like I’d been in a fistfight.

“You should never cry. Like, ever,” Teagan added.

I uttered another laugh through my tears. I appreciated her trying to make me smile, but it didn’t seem to lessen the pain of Cole’s betrayal. I shouldn’t be so upset. We hadn’t even begun to date. I guess I just fell for him so hard and so fast, I didn’t realize how deep I’d gone.

“You really liked him, huh?” Teagan continued.

I nodded, and the pain in my heart flared up again. “I thought he liked me too,” I murmured.

Why couldn’t Cole and I have just continued trading insults like all good enemies did? Why did he have to go and make me like him? I was almost angrier with him for doing that than I was at him for fooling around with Laurie.

Teagan shook her head as she turned her gaze back onto the open road before us. “Laurie is such a nightmare.”

“Agreed,” came Willow’s response from the back seat. She moved forward and leaned on the center console. “So, are you going to stay in the competition?” she asked, looking up at me.

“No. I can’t,” I replied.

“And you shouldn’t have to,” said Teagan. “Talk to Angus. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Have you met Angus?” I asked. “He doesn’t exactly take no for an answer.”

Teagan shrugged. “Well, if he refuses you, you can tell him I quit too.”

“And me,” Willow added.

I sighed and nodded. Trying to convince Angus to let me out of the show a week before it ended was the last thing I felt like doing, but there was no way I was staying.

“He’ll understand,” Willow said. “He has too.”

I hoped she was right.

“Madi, it’s just one more week,” Angus said. “And it’s for charity.”

I was standing on his front doorstep, trying to convince him to let me leave the show. He couldn’t seem to understand why I was so desperate to quit though. His charity argument was beginning to feel really old. It was how he’d roped me into the contest in the first place, and he’d already raised more than double the amount of funds he had targeted. I wasn’t going to be guilt-tripped anymore. I was also beginning to suspect Angus cared more about the number of viewers than the money they were raising.

“To be honest Angus, this whole experience has been pretty horrible for me. You told me I would be eliminated at the first ceremony, but instead I’ve been stuck in this competition for weeks. I lost my boyfriend, I’ve had people call me names and then I had to deal with that crap Cole pulled last night. I’m done.”

“Please don’t do this,” he said. “We have thousands and thousands of people invested in the outcome. We will lose a lot of money in donations on Sunday night if people can’t vote for you.”

I lifted a hand to silence him. “This isn’t a discussion. This is a courtesy call. Like I said, I’m done.”

Angus huffed out a breath and leaned against his doorway. “Let me edit the footage to make the audience less likely to vote for you come Sunday,” he said. “Just give me one last ceremony for Cole to eliminate you."

“Does it look like I’m willing to come to one last ceremony?” I waved a hand at my face, which was still red and blotchy from crying earlier. “And why would I want you to make me look bad so people don’t vote?” I felt like I might start crying again if Angus kept pushing me.

“Please don’t cry,” he said. He actually looked fearful at the prospect. I’d heard some guys couldn’t cope with crying girls, but I’d never actually encountered one.

“Will crying get me out of the contest?”

Angus blew out another breath. “Look, I’ll try to make things work without you,” he said. “But if I can’t, I’m going to need you to be at the ceremony on Monday.”

“Then you better make things work,” I replied.

I didn’t feel much better after leaving Angus’ house. I thought I could relieve myself of the massive weight that was crushing my chest by telling him I was quitting the competition. But it just felt like the pressure was now teetering on my shoulders instead.

Angus may have agreed to try and get me out of the contest, but I didn’t feel like I could trust him. What did make me feel better was the realization that he didn’t control me. He couldn’t force me to attend the selection ceremony. So, for his sake, I hoped he could make things work without me.

Hayley spent the rest of the weekend plying me with copious amounts of ice cream. I think she was convinced that if she put enough ice cream in my body, it would start to fill the empty hollow Cole had carved out of my heart. When the ice cream didn’t seem to make me feel better, Hayley just stuck to her theory and fed me more. Apparently, she just hadn’t given me enough.

When Sunday night arrived, and it was time for the show to air, Hayley sat us both down for a Riverdale marathon. I was surprised she didn’t want to witness what Cole had done for herself, but she had decided to boycott the remainder of the show with me. I really loved my best friend.

Unfortunately, Hayley couldn’t hold my hand for every minute of the next week. I’d barely been in school for five minutes on Monday when Cole sought me out.

“Hey,” he said, as I walked away from my locker.

I didn’t make eye contact with him. How could I when every time I looked at him I was struck by the image of him and Laurie half naked? I kept walking, hoping he would disappear if I pretended he wasn’t there.

“Madi, can we talk?” I could sense him following me from a safe distance.

“Leave me alone,” I said, still refusing to look at him.

“I can’t,” he replied. “How can I let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

His words made me stop. They were somewhat cliché, but I couldn’t just ignore them. I slowly turned to look at him and I was shocked when I saw the boy before me. Cole had dark rings under his eyes, his hair was messy, and his clothes looked crinkled, as though he’d slept in them. He looked utterly wrecked, but I wasn’t going to let myself feel any sympathy for him. I just wished my heart agreed with my head, because I couldn’t seem to stop it from clenching with worry.

I had planned to fire some scathing remark at him, but I just didn’t have it in me. “Look, I’m really upset by what happened and I don’t feel ready to talk to you. I’ll only say something I’ll regret or something that will hurt you. Can I please just have some space?”

Cole took a step back from me and nodded. Just asking for space looked like it had hurt him enough.

“Whatever you want, Madi. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy,” he replied.

My stomach lurched at his comment. They weren’t the words of a guy who was interested in another girl. But I couldn’t give myself room to hope that maybe I was mistaken.

“I have to get to class.” I hurried away from him before he could respond. I could feel him staring after me, and as I went to turn the corner, I hazarded a glance back.

Cole stood exactly where I'd left him, looking completely broken by our encounter. I knew my heart was aching after losing him, and seeing him now I began to wonder if maybe his heart was aching too.