Chapter Fifteen
Dana
The doctor quickly led me towards Jake’s room, and I tried to focus on his words as we walked. Everyone had scrambled out of their seats when the doctor came in, but only one of us was allowed to see Jake. The situation was not good, and it was too dire to have multiple people in his room. One by one we were allowed to come, and I had been the first in a long line of visitors. I almost wanted to let someone else go first, but I didn’t let my fear get the better of me. I pushed my way towards the doctor and to the ominous white doors. I knew what lay beyond those doors was terrifying, but not having a chance to see Jake again was even scarier.
“The surgery went well,” the doctor said. “We managed to remove the bullet and stop the internal bleeding.”
I nodded, my head spinning and my mind not fully comprehending the doctor’s words.
“Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to get him breathing on his own, and he hasn’t shown any sign of waking up soon.”
“But he’s alive?” I whispered. I didn’t want to ask the words out loud, but I simply couldn’t understand. Once the word “coma” had left the doctor’s lips, I felt as if my world imploded into nothingness. I thought if the surgery went well then that would be the end of this nightmare, but somehow it was still on going. I couldn’t grasp how one bullet could have done so much damage, but who ever had taken that shot knew exactly what they were doing. Had it been anyone else, their chances of survival would have been non-existent. But Jake was tough; at least, he had made it this far, I reminded myself.
“Yes, he is alive.” The doctor was choosing his words carefully. “But we don’t know the extent of his injuries until he wakes up. Depending on how long he’s in a coma, there can be… complications.”
“What kind of complications are we talking about? Are you certain he will wake up? Will he be the same? Will he have any memory loss? Will he remember me? Is there still a chance he could…” I needed answers desperately. My head was spinning with what-ifs.
“Unfortunately, I can’t answer those questions yet. We need to take this moment by moment, and for now just focus on the fact that he’s out of surgery and alive. I understand this is a lot to take in, but this man needs you right now. Once you’re with him, speak to him, hold his hand, and let him know you are there. Having people who love him is what he needs the most.”
I nodded, trying my best to stay strong for Jake.
“Can he hear me?” I asked, praying that my voice would be the key to waking him up.
“No one knows the answer to that, for sure, but some patients who have woken up from comas have said that they were able to hear everything that was going on around them. I believe somewhere in there, Mr. Handleman is still hanging on, and that hearing the people he loves talking to him can create miracles.”
“I can do that,” I responded “I won’t leave his side until he’s awake.”
Walking into Jake’s room knocked the air right out of my lungs. Jake was hooked up to so many machines I could barely see him underneath the maze of cords and tubes. The man who engulfed my life seemed too small in that bed, and my heart shattered to see him so weak and vulnerable. I was terrified to go any closer, not wanting to see Jake in this condition. Knowing what was happening was horrible, but actually seeing it up close was beyond anything I could have imagined. I was frozen to the spot, and my body refused to move any further.
“Go to him,” the doctor urged. “You can do this. Remember, you’re doing this for him.”
My legs felt so heavy as I slowly stepped closer to his bed. Once I finally reached his bedside, I steadied myself to look at him, and my eyes focused on his ruggedly handsome face.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
The monitors surrounding him beeped steadily, ensuring that his breathing and heart rate stayed constant. The sound was reassuring, and I reminded myself that as long as those monitors beeped, Jake was still within reach.
His mouth had tubes protruding from it, and his eyes were softly closed. It broke my heart seeing the man I loved had become like this. Tears began to stream down my cheeks as I reached for his hand. Clasping him tightly, I began to pour my heart out, saying words that I feared I may never again get to say.
“Oh, Jake…” I began softly, not knowing where to even begin. “Please Jake, you can’t leave me. Please wake up…” I paused, wondering if Jake could even hear my pleas. Whether he could or not, the words needed to be spoken, and at the very least the universe could hear my sorrow.
“I need you to wake up. Jake. Please. Look at me. I need you.” Tears streamed down my face and landed gently on our hands clasped tightly.
“Before I met you, I didn’t know how wonderful life could be. After losing my parents, my only focus was school and work. I had Mitch, but there was an emptiness in me that I never bothered trying to fill. I thought my life was over in a sense. I came back to town because I didn’t need anything else; I had no drive, no passion, no desire. I had accepted my life as one where I would work, come home, sleep, and go back to work, never extending beyond that basic routine. That night at the bar, that night changed the entire course of my life. You swept me off of my feet, and shook up my world all at the same time.”
I took a breath. All I wanted was to say these words to Jake and have him hear me. I needed him to just open his eyes and make everything okay.
“Jake, there is no man in this world that can compare to you. If you don’t come back to me, you will take a part of me with you. You are my heart and soul; you are the piece that completes me. Just come back to me and we will live a beautiful life. We can go from this room straight to Key West, or Paris, or some island that doesn’t even have a name. I don’t care where I am, because home is wherever you are.”
I reached out, gently stroking the parts of his face that were uncovered by tubes.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Constant and steady, the machines continued to beep, but Jake didn’t stir.
***
A knock on the door stirred me from my thoughts, and I looked over to see who was there. Standing in the doorway was Tina, with Mitch in a wheelchair.
“You didn’t think I would let my sister deal with this alone, did you?” Mitch stared at me with pure love in his eyes. “It’s my job to take care of you, and it would seem I am failing pretty badly lately!”
“Oh Mitch!” I said as I ran towards him. This felt so similar to when we lost our parents, and I knew only Mitch could understand what I was going through.
Throwing my arms around my brother, I hugged him as tightly as I could. “Woah now, sis!” Mitch winced in pain. “I may look exceptionally handsome and recovered, but these old bones are still very much broken!”
I eased up and apologized. The last thing I wanted was to put my brother back in his hospital bed for longer.
“What’s the situation with Jake?” It was Tina, her face etched with worry.
“No changes as of yet. The doctor said we won’t really know anything until he wakes up.” I wiped away the tears in my eyes and continued on. “Right now we are supposed to just talk to him, urge him to wake up.”
Tina walked over towards Jake and gently placed her hand on top of his. She whispered something softly into his ear. The moment was incredibly tender, and I saw a side of Tina I had never seen before. It was clear to me how much Jake meant to a lot of people, and I knew that it wasn’t only me that was praying for him to be alright. Watching her with Jake, and remembering how she had taken care of me, my love for Tina grew exponentially. The fact she had even gone to my brother in order to help him get down here meant the world to me. This woman was a tough little saint, and I was so appreciative of having her in my life.
Tina lifted her head and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. Placing a soft kiss on Jake’s forehead, she stood up and walked back towards us.
“I’m going to leave you and Mitch here to talk, but I will back in a bit to help Mitch get back to bed.” Tough as ever, Tina bid us farewell and walked from the room.
***
Mitch looked at me long and hard before he finally spoke.
“Dana,” he began. “Why didn’t you come to me in the beginning? I should have found out from you, not from a traitor like Tom. Do you know how humiliating it was to hear about all of this from someone else? Do you know how worried, how scared I was when I was told the gravity of the situation? Sneaking around behind my back was so foolish, Dana, and I expected better from you. I’m your damn brother, not your enemy.”
“I know, and I wanted to, but it all began so fast and then by the time I realized how serious it was I knew we were in too deep. Mitch, I’m so sorry. I never intended to hide this from you, but the more it continued, the more I knew that involving you was only going to complicate the situation. I know how stupid it sounds, but it was like I was living in another world with Jake, a world that no one else could penetrate. The real-world consequences seemed too far off and distant that I didn’t take them seriously.”
“Dana, you were playing with fire from the start, and at the very least I could have protected you. Don’t ever keep things from me again. You’re my sister, I love you. What you did was wrong, but what’s done is done. I’m not going to stand here and chastise you, especially in this hospital room. You’ve had enough punishment for one lifetime, and I don’t think you need me to tell you that.”
I leaned down and gently hugged Mitch. I had been so caught up in worrying he would be angry that I failed to realize that my brother has always had my back and supported me. What I did was foolish, and I should have been a bigger woman about the entire thing. How would this have ended if we had just been open from the very start? I know the what-ifs weren’t helpful, but it was so hard not to get caught up in them, anyway.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “If I could go back in time, there are so many things I would have done differently.”
“Well, there is no way to go back, but there is a way to move forward.” Mitch’s face took on a look of determination and I knew my brother was already hatching a plan.
“At the moment, the Wild Wolves and the Flaming Dragons have teamed up in order to hunt down Mack and Tom. Having the clubs in communication is good news for you, because it means there is always wiggle room for compromise.” Mitch looked a bit uncertain. “I can’t promise you anything, and even I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but hell if I let club politics hurt you, Dana.”
“Mitch, I don’t even know what to say. All I want is for the situation to go away and for life to be smooth and easy.”
“Life is never smooth or easy, Dana, but if I can make life happy for you then you have my word that I will,” Mitch said. “But before I go and ruin my reputation, I need to ask you something.”
“Anything,” I replied, eager to do whatever I could to bring about peace.
“Is this real, Dana? Do you truly love this man? And more importantly, does this man truly love you? You know I would never settle for anything less than perfection for you, and I need to know that this man is going to treat you right. You’re a warrior of a woman, but you still need someone in your corner who cherishes and protects you. You’re grown now, and I can’t fill that position forever. But if this guy isn’t going to meet those standards, then I don’t see a point in going any further.”
I stopped for a moment before answering, picturing all of our moments together. The tenderness and kindness Jake had shown me, hidden underneath his tough, strong exterior. I recalled our very first meeting, and how without even knowing me he had made a point of protecting me. He hadn’t even hesitated when it came to my safety, and he put himself in harm’s way simply so I wasn’t harassed. I could picture exactly how he looked at me every time we were together, his eyes staring deep in to my soul, unearthing my every secret. I could feel his hands on my body, filling me with a desire I had never known before, coaxing me into the most profound sense of comfort and confidence. Did this man truly love me?
“Yes,” I smiled. “Yes, he loves me and yes, I love him. We have a bond that I can’t even describe, one that cannot be broken by rules and clubs or even by bullets. You will be proud of me for my decision, brother. Jake ticks every box on your long list of criteria.”
Mitch nodded, clearly believing this to be something more than simple lust. I had never spoken so highly of a man before, nor had I even really brought any man around. I knew my brother had a serious protective streak, and I have never met a man who could ever match up to his expectations.
“I will take it from here, sister. Focus on Jake, and leave the rest to me. The clubs are my world, and I am much better equipped to deal with them than you are. Your talents are better suited to this room, coaxing your man back from the brink of death. I’ll do whatever I can to deal with those bikers down the hall.”
As I watched Mitch leave down the hallway I thought of everything we had gone through together as siblings. Mitch and Jake were very similar, and maybe that’s what drew me to Jake so quickly. I knew that both men loved me dearly, and I would always be protected no matter what. As tough as these men were, there was a softness underneath it all, and that kindness melted me every time.
As I stood there smiling, a shift in the air made me spin around. It was starting to feel like Jake and I were more than just physically connected. It would seem that body instinctively knew when something was wrong, and my soul was entwined with Jake’s on the deepest of levels.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep…………… BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.BEEP.
A team of nurses and doctors started coming into the room. I didn’t want to believe this was really happening, and I cursed myself for getting too comfortable and believing that we were actually in the clear. “This is it,” I thought, “all of that just to lose him.” The alarm was going faster and more furiously, and the sound was so loud I had to cover my ears just to make it stop. My heart was breaking with each beep, and that comforting sound had now become a sound of death.
I sprinted over to Jake, pushing past the nurses and doctors who tried to stop me. They tried to hold me back, but I was overcome with a strength I had never possessed before. Throwing everyone off of me, I pushed on towards Jake and managed to make it to his side. My mind and body froze, and I looked down expecting the worst. It was only once my brain kicked back into gear that I realized what I was actually seeing. The alarm wasn’t ringing because Jake was dead, but because he was alive, and he had managed to pull his tubes out.