Chapter Thirteen
Dana
I woke up in a sweat and immediately knew something was wrong. Fumbling in the dark, I found the lamp and flicked it on. The house was eerily silent and all I could hear was my heart pounding so loudly I was scared it would burst from my chest. After a few minutes, I managed to calm down and breathe. “All of this hiding and talk of war is really getting to me,” I chuckled to myself. It was incredible how much had happened in just a short period of time. Everything about my romance with Jake was fast and intense, from the way we met, to the way we made love, down to the way we had to sneak around and hide. As exhilarating as it had all been, I began to wonder what kind of toll this was taking me. My life has always been considered pretty boring, excluding what had happened with my parents, so I wasn’t used to this kind of excitement. It was fun during the moments I was with him. But when I was alone, the excitement turned more into stress, and I knew we wouldn’t be able to sustain this long term. We needed to make sense of what was going on between us, and we needed to decide where to go from here.
After losing my parents, I had started getting awful night terrors, crippling dreams that left me in full panic. I didn’t want to go down that road again, yet here I was, awake in the middle of the night, clutching the sheets like I had seen a real-life ghost.
My head was spinning, and everything felt like one long rollercoaster ride. Who knew meeting the man of my dreams would lead to such serious and deadly consequences? The biker world wasn’t new to me because of Mitch. Yet, I never thought getting involved in the club would impact me so significantly. Only thinking about Jake made me feel safe; everything else was noise. Deep in my heart I knew that as long as I had Jake, everything would be alright. As scared as I was right now, I knew that Jake would never truly let any harm come to me and as long as he was breathing I was his top priority.
I shook my head to chase away the intrusive, dark thoughts and was just reaching over for the lamp switch when the bedroom door flung open and I let out a terrified scream.
“Dana! Dana you need to get up now!” Tina clutched her phone in hand.
“What’s going on?” I screamed “Is it Mitch? Jake? Oh my god, please tell me everyone is okay.” I was shaking with fear. My instincts had been correct, I knew something had happened. I truly wished all of this had been nothing more than a bad dream, but my reality was like something out of a nightmare as of late.
“It’s Jake…” She started, fumbling, trying to find the right words. “Someone found his safe house and…” She paused, staring at me, unable to speak.
My heart stopped and the entire room shifted around me. Everything froze, and I started at Tina, unable to process what she was saying. I watched her mouth moving, but I heard no words, as my brain desperately struggled to process what was happening. How had this gotten so out of control? How had our simple love turned into full-out war between the clubs and their members? Being around Jake was so pure, so happy. I couldn’t understand how something so beautiful was suddenly so ugly.
“Dana, Jake has been shot.” The statement was so blunt and forceful. “You need to get up now, he’s at the hospital and…”
I didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. My body turned to auto-pilot and I threw on whatever clothes were laying nearby. My only thought was getting to Jake, nothing else mattered beyond that. Losing this man was not an option and I knew if I could just get to him everything would be okay. All of those happy thoughts I had just moments ago darkened from my mind, and all I could picture was my world without Jake. I needed Jake like I needed oxygen, he was the breath that filled me up and set me afire. There was no longer a “me” without him, and I could feel the walls closing on me as I raced out of the house and to the car.
Once in the car, Tina started to go over exactly what had happened. Billy had phoned as soon as Jake had been taken to the hospital. He wasn’t sure how, but the safe house had been breached, and someone had taken a clean shot at Jake through the window. No one knew how bad the damage was yet, but the most important thing we knew so far was that Jake was still alive. Billy had sounded incredibly shook up on the phone, and Tina emphasized that Jake’s condition was critical at the moment. No one was sure how much time we had, and no one wanted to say out loud that there was a good chance that Jake might not survive the night.
As we made it out of the long driveway and towards the roads, I was so caught up in thinking of Jake that I didn’t notice the mess we were heading towards.
“Shit!” Tina yelled, banging her fists on the wheel of the car. “This damn snow is coming down even harder and the roads haven’t been cleared.”
The car’s wheels were clearly trapped, and as Tina tried to accelerate they refused to grip on to anything and move us forward. Over and over Tina tried, but it was all for naught.
“How far is it to the hospital?” I asked, thinking maybe we would have to walk the distance.
“Not even close to walking distance, if that’s what you’re asking,” Tina replied. “Would take hours, and we would freeze to death before we even made it half way.”
I stared down at my baggy t-shirt and thin leggings. Rushing to get ready, I hadn’t even bothered with a jacket or proper shoes. My bare toes wiggled back to me from their flip flops, and I knew that I wasn’t even prepared to walk the driveway back to the house.
The snow seemed to engulf the car, and it was evidently clear that we were not going to get moving again anytime, soon. The more Tina tried to push the gas, the deeper we ended up getting, until the car sputtered and gave up.
Turning the car completely off, we sat in silence, staring out at the snow-filled road ahead. I watched each snowflake coming down, and figured that every second we sat here was another second that Jake could die. The air in the car was already turning cold, and I cursed myself for being foolish enough to leave without my jacket. My body shivered, and the coldness felt like it was seeping straight into my heart. Memories from the night my parents died started creeping back into my mind, and everything felt awfully familiar. I remembered the feeling of wanting to get to my parents, and not being able to. It had taken so many years to accept the fact that I hadn’t gotten the chance to say goodbye to them. If Jake died and I wasn’t there, I would never forgive myself. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, so many things he needed to hear. I had myself convinced that if I was by his side, Jake would fight harder and survive. I knew that was a fantasy, and something that only happened in the movies, but what if this time it was true.
I sighed. “Guess I’ll never know if love can save lives,” I thought miserably. “Because I’m here and he’s there and we’re doomed.”
My thoughts were as dark as the stormy night that lay ahead and I could feel myself giving up.
I turned my head to stare out the passenger window; I didn’t want Tina to see my utter deflation and pathetic tears. Something appeared that sent me screaming: A man’s face was pressed against the window, and he knocked on the glass trying to mouth something to me.
“It’s just Timmy,” Tina said, unlocking the door. Always popping up and scaring the shit out of a girl!”
As the door opened, Timmy leaned down and started fumbling out an apology.
“I didn’t mean to scare you again! Oh god, I’m sorry! Don’t worry! Don’t worry it’s just me!”
“You’re lucky I didn’t open that door and tase you, you asshole. You scared poor Dana half to death,” Tina joked, although it was probably half-meant.
“I was out doing my perimeter check and I saw your car just sitting there with the lights cut. I ran over, worried something terrible had happened. But then I noticed you two just sitting in here.”
“Yeah…” I tried to hold back my tears as I explained. “The snow hasn’t been cleared here yet. My boyfriend has been shot and he’s at the hospital. It’s a terrible time to drive, but we have no choice…”
“Well you two might just be the luckiest women alive.” Timmy smiled. “Less than half a mile up, the roads are a lot better. They definitely aren’t ideal, but if you take it slow, you’ll make it. I saw the plows out a few hours ago, and there’s no way they’ve piled back up yet. It’s going to be snowy, but it won’t be nearly as thick as down here.”
I was just about to argue that it didn’t matter what the road condition was up ahead, I would get out and walk if need be. At this point I had to do whatever was in my power, because sitting here was slowly killing me. Before I could launch into a monologue about my feelings, Timmy spoke again.
“Let’s put my special forces training to good use!” Timmy said with a hint of pride. “Get that car going and I’ll push you up the road until you can take it on your own. With a strong man like me behind you, you’re guaranteed to make it!”
Tina shook her head like he was crazy, but decided to give it a go. She turned the car back on, and immediately I was thankful to get some heat going again. I rubbed my hands together, trying to get the blood moving. I let the heat blow on me, pushing away the icy, intrusive sadness that had taken over just moments ago.
With Tina at the wheel and Timmy taking up the rear, they worked together until the car started to budge.
“We might make it there, after all.” Tina smiled.
Timmy used every drop of strength he had, and boy, was that man strong. In less than 15 minutes, he had us out of the worst of it, and facing straight down a partially cleared road.
“You girls take it nice and slow from here. Don’t go speeding off and killing yourself in the process, you hear me?”
Tina nodded and we both thanked Timmy profusely.
Tears began welling up in my eyes, and the adrenaline was beginning to wear off. “Please just get me to the hospital. I can’t lose the man I love.” I felt utterly defeated as the tears started flowing down my cheeks. Tina looked at me and sheer determination spread across her face.
“This won’t be my fastest drive, but I’ll get us there. Cut the tears and just focus on helping me see. Jake is one hell of a man, and if anyone can pull through being shot, it’s him.” Tina started accelerating and I rolled my window down so I could get a better view of the road ahead. The icy wind whipped at my face, and the sting made my focus even sharper. “If Jake can survive a bullet, I can survive getting to him,” I whispered to myself, and began helping Tina navigate through the blizzard.
***
After what felt like the longest drive of my entire life, we pulled up in front of the hospital. All I wanted to do was jump out and run, but I knew going off alone was foolish and would only put me in danger. My hands were shaking when we arrived at the hospital. Once inside, my composure started to fail me again and I was struggling to get the words out to the reception desk. Saying his name out loud, here, in this place, it all suddenly felt far too real.
Tina was right behind me, taking control of the situation in her usual tough tone.
“Jake Handleman. He was brought in tonight with a gunshot wound. We need to know where he is.”
“You will have to go to the waiting area and join the others,” the nurse at the desk said. “A doctor will come out and give you an update.” I started to argue, but Tina grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.
“Pull yourself together. This is going to be a long night and you need to stay alert. We aren’t alone here, and I can guarantee that this is not the end of your nightmare.” Tina held me until I started to breathe calmly.
“Do you think it’s safe to go to the waiting area?” I asked. “We don’t know who is over there and I’m so scared…”
“This is the safest place we can be right now,” Tina assured me. “The Flaming Dragons are here for Jake, even bikers know where to draw the line, and starting a problem in the hospital is not on their agenda.”
As we walked into the waiting area, it felt like all eyes were on me, and I couldn’t control the tears as they started to fill my eyes. Everything about this was too much, and seeing Jake’s club family just hit home that this wasn’t a dream. I stood, frozen to the spot, and clutching Tina’s arm like it was my only life raft. What could I possibly say to these people? Part of me was so angry that it had come to this, and I blamed each and every one of them for causing this to happen. But another part of me was racked with guilt, knowing that if I had just stopped this from starting then Jake would have been safe and all of this could have been prevented. As I stood, lost in my thoughts, an older gruff man approached.
“You must be, Dana,” he said awkwardly. “I’m Billy. Billy Ridgeway. People usually just call me ‘The Hammer.’ Whatever you like, I’m easy. I’m the Road Warrior for the Flaming Dragons. I was with Jake when this happened and I am so sorry. It all happened so fast that I didn’t even get a chance to react. I thought we had him protected, and I…” Billy trailed off, looking as defeated as I felt.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you for getting him here.” There was nothing else to say. There was bad blood between us right now, and in a small part each of us blamed the other. But now was not the time to deal with problems, now was the time to focus on solutions. Everyone in this room was praying for the same thing, that Jake would pull through and all of us could go back to our normal lives. I was full of frustration, thinking that love was supposed to conquer all, not be the fire starter in a war. How could Jake and I be the only two who understood love?
Instead of speaking, Billy and I simply stared at each other, a mutual understanding unspoken between us. Both of us felt guilt and both of us were afraid. Sometimes it takes the worst of situations to really bring reality to the forefront.
Standing in the waiting room, it took everything inside me not to collapse on the floor. All I needed in this moment were the two strong men in my life, and yet here we were, with both of them laid up in hospital beds because of me. I knew in time that Mitch would recover, and that gave me some comfort, but the uncertainty around Jake was too much to bear.
Staring at all of these strangers made me feel more alone than I had ever felt in my life. I turned to Lisa for some comfort. Reaching out, I gripped her hand tightly, and she squeezed it back in a gesture of reassurance. Suddenly, the doors opened and the doctor entered the room.