Chapter Two
Paris
A few days later, they arrived in the city of love. Tony had rented another flat, this one with the Eiffel Tower within view. He wanted to show Carter the world, piece by piece. High above the city streets, they could watch the bustle below from a near private balcony.
Tony walked out to that balcony, carrying two glasses and the bottle of burgundy they’d bought that morning while exploring the city. Carter leaned against the one open side of the space, looking down at the city that never slept.
He cast one look over his shoulder at Tony. “Don’t forget the bread and the brie.”
“I can only carry so much,” Tony said before smiling. After setting the glasses down on the small table beside the lounge chair, he filled both before heading back inside. Returning a few seconds later, he emerged with a cutting board filled to overflowing with grapes, cheese, and the wonderful French bread they’d bought from the patisserie across the street from their building.
Tony grabbed his wine glass and sat on the lounger before taking a sip. He eyed Carter, needing to be closer.
With Carter, there was always need. After setting his glass down, he eyed his lover.
“Come here.”
Carter turned and gave Tony a sultry glance. After he walked nearer, Carter allowed Tony to draw him onto the chaise, too. They spread out, stretching out along the length and entwining their limbs. Carter rested his head on Tony’s chest, sighing.
Tony smiled, loving the feeling of Carter resting against him. It was a welcome weight.
Carter helped him feel… grounded in some way.
Suddenly, Carter lifted his head. He leaned over to the table and took his glass, draining half in one gulp.
“Lush,” Tony whispered in his ear before whispering some more things in French. “Je veux te baiser ici devant le plus grand symbole phallique du monde.”
“What did you say?” he asked, his eyes darkening… as if he understood the words’ meaning.
“I said,” he whispered close to Carter’s ear. “That I wanted to fuck you right here while looking at the biggest phallic symbol in the world.”
Carter lifted his stare, a smile growing as heat flooded his eyes.
“I don’t know that it’s necessarily the biggest one, but it’s most definitely up there on the list,” Carter said.
“I’m starting to think you’re an exhibitionist.”
“Starting? How much more do I need to do in order to prove it?” They’d played with each other on the train to Paris… and ended up fucking in the bathroom. They were starting to have a thing for bathrooms, it seemed.
“Anyone could see us.” They were on the top floor, and both sides of the balcony were covered with thick ivy… but it wasn’t completely private. Anyone in the building across the street could see them as well as some below.
Carter started to spin to face him, but Tony stopped his lover. With a few buttons, zippers, and a sweep of the pants, Tony’s cock was sliding into Carter from behind.
Carter groaned, pushing back and against Tony’s thrusts. Tony held tight, nibbling on Carter’s neck. He left a trail along the column, up to his lover’s ear.
“Come for me,” he whispered against the lobe before licking the shell of Carter’s ear.
Carter succumbed, moaning loudly for anyone to hear.
Tony smiled to himself, casting a look across the street at the rows of windows, wondering if anyone watched them.
The thought seized him…
And he came, flooding Carter’s body with cum.
He captured Carter’s mouth as his balls emptied… his hunger never truly sated.
When it was over, they lay together, still linked. He wrapped his arms around his lover, stunned by the weight of the emotion he felt for the man.
How had he gotten here?
How did he deserve Carter’s light and love?
I don’t.
Tony pushed the thought away and held Carter even tighter. “I love you.”
Carter pulled away from him… but only so he could turn to face Tony.
Yet there was a slight frown on his face. He brushed a few damp strands of hair from Tony’s forehead. “You okay?”
Tony smiled. “Yeah… why wouldn’t I be?”
Carter shook his head. “I don’t know… I thought I heard something in your tone.”
“There was no tone,” Tony said, ignoring the little doubt springing back up in his mind. He drew Carter into his arms and held him tightly. He rested his chin on Carter’s shoulder and looked up at the moon staring down at them.
If only we could stay here in this moment.
A red glow appeared in the corner of his eye. Twisting his head, he lost the ability to breathe.
On Carter’s back was a tiny, red dot.
In one fluid move, Tony rolled them to the floor and flipped the chaise up to hide them from the gun’s sight. He paused, waiting for the first bullet to hit…
But there was nothing but the sounds of the city below.
“What the hell, Tony?”
He dragged Carter back down with him. “Shhhh!”
“What is it?” Carter whispered.
Tony shook his head violently, hating the look on Carter’s face. It was the antithesis of the joyful smile he wanted there. He counted off the seconds, and when it was apparent the shooter was waiting for them to come back into view, he turned to Carter. “Crawl in… as low as you can. Stay away from the windows. Head straight to the bedroom.” Carter opened his mouth, and Tony pressed a finger to his lips to stop the flow of questions he could sense coming. “Just do as I say. Please.”
Carter frowned but did exactly what Tony told him. Tony was quick on his heels, using his body to shield his lover the best he could. Once they were in the bedroom, he rose to his knees.
“Get dressed. Pack only the essentials and a change of clothing. We can buy new clothes when we stop,” Tony said as he grabbed a pair of pants from his suitcase.
Carter glared at him. “What’s going on?”
Tony ignored the question. “Get dressed and pack. I’ll explain later.” He grabbed a shirt and drew it over his head.
Carter didn’t move. “Why?”
Tony turned to look over his shoulder. “Pack your godamned bag now.”
Carter stiffened, the wounded look on his face almost too much for Tony to handle in that moment. He wanted to pause and draw his lover into his arms, but they had no time. Tony turned to face Carter. “Can you please just listen to me and do as I ask?”
“Why?”
“We’re in danger.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
Carter still didn’t move. “I thought it was over?”
It. Was Tony’s past life distilled into those two little letters? “We can hash it out later. For now, we need to go.”
“Is this how our life is gonna be here? Running from your past?”
Tony sighed. “You chose to come with me. I told you that you deserved better…” And you didn’t want to listen.
Who was he kidding? As if I’d have let him go, in all honesty.
Carter frowned again before crossing the room and grabbing his bag. Within a few minutes, they were packed and heading toward the door. Before he opened it, he drew his 22 from his backpack. Tossing the bag over one shoulder, he got close to the door. Ever so slowly, he opened it a crack and peeked out into the hall.
He’d chosen the apartment because the view from both the balcony and the front had been logistically sound. From his vantage point, he could easily see if anyone lay in wait. No one appeared to be lying in wait, so he quickly opened the door and retraced the mental map of the building. He’d already prepared several escape plans on the train into Paris.
He opted for version C.
After flipping a switch on a booby trap he’d left behind, Tony dragged Carter him to the stairwell. Instead of going down, they would go up. The apartment was close to the roof access and the buildings were close enough that they could walk a block down along their roofs before scaling the stairs down in another building.
They still needed to be careful. If the killer had night vision or infrared goggles, they could still be picked off. They would have to stay low. Once out on the roof, he pulled Carter low and eyed the area where the light had come from. “Stay down… and quiet.”
“What are we doing up here?” Carter asked, whispering.
Tony turned and saw the fear creeping into Carter’s eyes.
“I have an escape route. Just follow me.”
Low to the roof, they crept down the row of buildings until they arrived at one slightly taller than the other buildings. Just before Tony helped Carter climb the height, he heard the detonation in the apartment. “We need to go.”
He hefted Carter up the wall before tossing his bag up and pulling himself along the wall. Once on top, they raced for the roof access door. Tony pulled out his gun again and shot the lock off the door. They made it in seconds later and began the mad dash down seven flights of stairs.
When they approached the street, Tony took the lead again. He’d memorized the winding Parisian streets and wove them through them, circling back a few times—just in case. Finally, they reached the train station.
Tony pulled out some cash and purchased them a couchette cabin for their trip south. The smaller private cabins for two were sold out on the train, so he’d had to buy all the seats in a couchette compartment. Six tickets in hand, he urged Carter toward the train. They rushed through the crowd, nearly barreling into a man near the platform. The train was scheduled to pull away any second, and they needed to be on it.
Running the final few meters, they climbed aboard seconds before the Thello pulled away, destination Venice. It wasn’t until they were seated and silent inside their private cabin—and they’d had a minute to catch their breath—that Carter finally spoke.
“You need to explain. Everything.”
Tony rested the back of his head against the inside of the cabin. “You know the life I led. The mob doesn’t just let people like me walk away.”
“You said you’d taken care of things.”
“I thought I had.” They’d only had a few weeks before his past had come back to haunt them. It had to be Gina. Gina had always hated him. She’d been suspicious of him ever since her father died.
Sure, he had wanted to kill Gino, but natural causes had taken the man.
Of course, Tony hadn’t lent any assistance to stop nature’s course, either.
Ian might know if there’s a hit out on me… and who sent the order. Once they were safe again, he’d place a call.
“You never answered my question,” Carter said. “Is this what happens now? We run the rest of our lives?”
Tony wanted to lie and say no. Until he had more information, he wasn’t going to answer that question. “I need to get some answers myself.”
Carter sat across from him. In the farthest seat. His arms were crossed, his whole body pushing Tony away.
And it hurt.
“I’ll find out who’s after us… and stop it.”
“You said you were done with that life,” Carter said. “No more killing, Tony.”
“It’s us or them, Carter. Do you not understand that?”
Carter’s face was a mask of abject horror.
There was a knock at the door. Tony placed his hand on his weapon, rising to his feet. The door opened a crack, and Tony saw the conductor.
"Billets et passeports?"
Tony grabbed the tickets and handed them over—just as a passenger slipped in behind the conductor.
“Cette section est pleine,” Tony snarled in French. This compartment is full. His hackles rose, his internal alarm screaming in his mind. He tried to force the man back out into the hall, but the older man lifted a shaking hand with a ticket in it.
Tony could barely hear the man’s rapid-fire French as he stared at the ticket showing he indeed had a seat in their compartment. He frowned. He’d bought all six tickets himself.
Turning to the conductor, the man lifted the tickets Tony had handed over. “Cinq.”
How could there only be five tickets? Tony’s head whipped back to the man. The conductor reached over Tony’s shoulder to take the man’s ticket. Once he’d checked it, he turned to Tony. “Passeports?”
Tony eyed the stranger before opening up his bag and pulling out two of the fake passports. The train would pass the Swiss and Italian borders through the night. The conductors held on to their passports to make the trip across easier.
Once he had all three in hand, the conductor left.
Tony eyed the stranger, who carefully prodded past. An older man, he sat down after placing his bag in the overhead. He pulled out a French newspaper and set about reading—in between cautious glances at Tony.
“Comment avez-vous obtenu ce billet?” Tony asked in French. How did you get the ticket?
“Just leave it,” Carter said. “He looks harmless enough.”
The man was slightly shorter than Tony and at least thirty years older. But that didn’t mean he was harmless. Tony had felt the pushback he’d gotten from the man when trying to force him from the compartment. The old man was stronger than he appeared.
Tony never underestimated someone, especially when his gut was telling him there was something wrong.
The older man turned and let his gaze roam over Carter before turning to meet Tony’s stare. “I bought it,” he said in English, his French accent thick and heavy.
Tony narrowed his gaze. There was something familiar about the man. He pulled out his gun and placed it against the gentleman’s head. “Where… did you get that ticket?”
“I paid for it,” he said. “I have receipt.” He began patting his light jacket’s pockets. “I can show.”
Before Tony could react, the old man’s hand shot out and knocked the gun from Tony’s grip. Tony immediately went on the attack, laying out several quick jabs, all of them landing. By the fifth, the guy had started to defend himself.
But only defend.
Tony frowned, confused that the man wasn’t taking an offensive stance. He only worked to block Tony’s punches and kicks—he didn’t try to fight back in any way. Tony got in a right jab, knocking the guy’s cheek off.
His cheek off.
The facial appliance hung from a thin line of glue, showing off a much younger face underneath. Tony’s eyes widened. He could usually spot a make-up job from a mile away. This man was eye to eye with him and he hadn’t been able to spot it.
Fuck.
“Who are you?” Carter growled.
When Tony glanced over, he saw Carter held his gun… aimed at the old/young man. But then as close as they were, it could’ve been held on them both.
“Et tu, huh?” the guy said, eyeing Carter. “I didn’t think I’d have to fight you off.” The man now had a slight British accent, not French. He peeled away the rest of the cheek before taking the other one off. A completely different face began to emerge.
Tony took the gun from Carter and kept it aimed on the stranger. Once the wig was off, the appliances on the face gone, Tony recognized the man.
“Who are you?”
The Brit from the club—the one who’d manhandled Carter—stood before them.
“An angel sent from above,” the stranger answered, a cocky smile on his face.
“Try again,” Tony spat. He lifted the gun higher, ready to shoot. “You were the one who took aim at Carter.”
Carter gasped at his side.
The man turned to eye Carter. “If I wanted you dead, you already would be,” the man said calmly. He turned to face Tony. “You, too.” He smiled and frowned. “I’d heard so many tales about the amazing Antony Rosetta. I’m disappointed, quite frankly.”
Tony glared at the man.
He recognized the look in the eyes. There was death residing in them. Had his weakness for Carter already made him so soft that he’d allowed a killer close? Tony tightened his grip on the gun.
“Go ahead. Kill me. But you’ll be killing the one man who can help protect you both from Gina,” the man murmured.
Tony narrowed his eyes. So it was Gina, was it? But then, he didn’t trust a word that came out of the man’s mouth. Mouth. My god… I let this man touch Carter. Kiss him. He could’ve easily murdered Carter right before my very eyes. “I’ve already let you get too close. It won’t happen again.”
“You have. But like I said… you’d already be dead if that was my plan. I want to help.” There was an earnest pleading in his eyes. Tony didn’t trust it, yet there was a ring of truth to it.
Or was that his weakness talking?
The man eyed him, an emotion suddenly filling the lifeless depths. He cocked his head slightly.
Lust?
It mattered not. “Why would you want to do that? What do you get out of helping us?” Tony demanded.
“I need to know that one day I can escape this life. And maybe when that happens, you’ll be there to help me in return.”
Likely story. Tony trusted no one. He wouldn’t be convinced so easily. Better to kill him now. Save the trouble. Get us safely away.
“There’s a price on your head, Antony.” He paused. “It’s only a matter of time before someone like me finds you… and then realizes Carter’s with you. They won’t be as nice as I am. They’ll kill you both.”
He knows who we are and I have no idea who he is. Tony closed the gap, again placing the gun to the man’s forehead. “If you didn’t plan us harm… why did you aim your gun at Carter’s back?”
“The gun wasn’t loaded. I just needed to get you out of the building. I ran into someone I… recognized… someone who might’ve been in Paris looking for you.”
“Who?”
“A friend,” the stranger said.
“How do I know you aren’t directing us right into your friend’s hands?”
“Well, considering the fact I think he might’ve been blown up in your apartment after you left, I doubt that’s going to happen.” The man turned slightly to fully face him. “Nice device, by the way. I was rather interested in the accelerant you used. More in how you acquired that much in the few days you’ve been in France.”
If he knew what accelerant it was, he’d likely been in the apartment and somehow sidestepped the trigger. Tony knew the man was too dangerous. He readied to pull the trigger.
“No more killing,” Carter said from behind him. His lover’s voice was so low… lost. If I don’t kill him… he could take away the man I love.
“If I don’t kill him, he’ll kill us,” Tony snapped.
“And if he’s telling the truth?” Carter asked.
“He’s not,” Tony said through clenched teeth.
“I wouldn’t trust me, either,” the stranger said. “But I am telling you the truth.”
“Just toss him off the train or something,” Carter said. “Don’t kill him.”
“This is a high-speed train,” the guy argued. “He’ll kill me.”
Carter sighed. “Then kick him off at the next stop!”
“So he can just jump back on?” Tony asked Carter. “No. He dies here and now.”
“Carter… you don’t want him to do this,” the man murmured. “This isn’t the way to begin your life together.”
“You don’t know me!” Carter screamed at the stranger.
“Don’t I?” the man asked. “After that dance, I know you quite well,” he added with a slight smirk. “I know how good you felt in my arms. I know you felt it, too. You were hard against me. You liked it.”
Tony tensed, ready to cold cock the guy there and then. But thoughts of that sensual dance slipped into his mind, reminding him how turned on it had gotten him.
Get control of yourself.
“You liked watching him in my arms, too,” the bastard said to Tony.
“Shut up.”
“You liked it so much that you couldn’t even wait to get home. You fucked him in a bathroom. Not the best choice, eh? Although, I liked the show.”
“That was you looking into the crack?” Carter asked.
His smile answered the question.
Tony pistol whipped the asshole and took pleasure in the drip of blood that slid down the side of his forehead.
“You like it rough, I take it?” the stranger asked with a grin. “I do, too.”
“Bastard,” Carter murmured.
Tony tilted his head. “He needs to die.”
“No, Tony. Tie him up. Stuff him somewhere. Put a gag on him. Knock him out. I don’t know… just do whatever you need to stopping before you end up killing him.”
“None of those scenarios end up with us being safe,” Tony said. “It’s him or us!”
“No!” Carter spat. “You aren’t that man anymore.”
I am that man. I will always be that man.
Tony stared at the killer, knowing he was between a rock and a hard place. Let the man go, and it could spell their death. Kill him and Tony could lose Carter forever.
“My name’s Christopher. Friends call me Kit.”
“Hitmen don’t have friends,” Tony snapped. Nor do they have cute and fuzzy nicknames. But then, it’s likely not his name.
“I’m not your average hitman,” Kit answered. “I like to consider myself the kind-hearted killer.”
Carter laughed, the sound coming out with a nervous inflection. “A kind-hearted killer. Jesus Christ,” he whispered the last bit.
“Do you see why I need to take him out?” Tony said to Carter without taking his gaze off Kit.
“I have a safe house… not far from the stop this train takes in Milan. I can take you there,” Kit added, unfazed by the moral dilemma Tony was struggling with. “You’d be protected. I could help hide you there.”
“He says he wants to help,” Carter said. “So let him help.”
“After what he did to you in the club? You’re really going to trust this bastard?” Tony clenched his jaw. Growing up in the same neighborhood should’ve made Carter more street smart. He was too trusting.
Too good.
You’re going to ruin him.
Carter moved closer and rested his body against Tony’s arm. “Don’t do this, Tony. We have the chance at a new life. A new start. Together. Please don’t turn back to who you were.”
Take the shot. Let him see who you really are. Let him walk away and get on with his life.
Tony slowly lowered the gun instead. He was a greedy son of a bitch. He wouldn’t let Carter walk away. If he murdered another man in cold blood in front of Carter, it would destroy the thing between them. His lover seemed to think there was a flicker of good somewhere deep within Tony. If he pulled the trigger, that illusion would be shattered.
There’s a lot of miles between here and Milan. I can find the right moment to kill him when Carter’s not watching.
He glared at Kit and holstered his weapon. “How close to Milan is this place?”
Kit’s smile grew.
Suddenly, the door to the compartment flew open and a shot took Tony in the chest.
The gun was taken from his hand…
He heard more shots fired as he fell back to the seat, the world already turning gray.
Carter…
Chapter Three
Dying
Tony awoke inside a car. Awoke might’ve been an understatement. He felt logy, his mind a blur. He heard Carter’s voice beside him and struggled to get air into his lungs. His chest hurt like a motherfucker.
He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, the buildings that had been outside the window was now rows and rows of grapevines. The sun hurt his eyes, so he closed them again, hearing a muffled voice that sounded like Carter.
And then it felt as if he was drowning.
He couldn’t move his limbs. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe.
Darkness swallowed him whole.
When he opened his eyes again, he was laid up in a bed in a room he didn’t know. Alone, he wasn’t sure where he was. The small room was simple. White walls. There was the narrow bed he was on and a small wash basin near the door. An IV hung from a pole beside the bed, inserted into his arm. One small window hung on the wall to his right. Outside, he saw a stone wall with metal spikes lined up along the top of it. The sun was low in the sky.
Sitting up—or rather attempting—took the very breath from his lungs. He fell back to the bed, his chest on fire. After a moment, he pulled back the sheet he was covered in and saw bandages bound around him. A hint of blood peeked through the very center. He searched his mind, trying to remember the last moment before this one.
The train. The other hitman.
Shots.
Carter…
Panic slammed into him. Ignoring the wound and the pain, he rose again. He ripped out the IV, fluid squirting from the end of the tube. Tony forced his feet to the side of the bed, sweat beading on his forehead by the time his feet hit the cool, tiled floor. Once he caught his breath, he forced his legs to propel him up. Only his legs weren’t cooperating. He crumbled onto the floor, his body weak.
Forehead to tile, he drew in more air. Each breath hurt.
I have to find him.
Tony crawled to the door, needing to lay eyes on Carter.
When he finally reached for the door, it opened before he could turn the knob. The door hit him, knocking the breath from his lungs.
“What in the hell?”
Tony heard a gasp.
“Tony! What’re you doing out of bed?”
He lifted his head. Carter stood above him, wide-eyed.
Relief washed over Tony as he held his arms out. Carter rushed to his embrace, filling those arms better than ever. He held on tight, tears stinging his eyes.
Carter pulled back, tears streaming down his. “I wasn’t sure you were going to wake up.” He brushed Tony’s hair back and pressed a kiss to his forehead—and then another on Tony’s lips. “I was so scared, Tony.”
“What happened?” he croaked, his voice dry.
“Let’s get you back in bed first,” Carter said, helping him off the floor.
It took a lot of effort on Tony’s part—effort he barely had. Somehow, he was put back in the narrow bed.
“Did you have to rip out the IV? Jeez, Tony.”
“I had to get to you,” Tony whispered, his throat raw.
“Let me get you some water,” Carter said, slipping from the room before Tony could object.
Don’t go. Don’t ever leave me.
Carter returned quickly, a small glass of iced water in his hand. He helped Tony take a drink. The water almost hurt to drink—yet it felt like heaven at the same time.
“Slow down,” Carter murmured. “You haven’t had anything to drink in a few weeks.”
A few weeks?
Tony pushed the glass away. “Tell me what happened? What did he do to us?”
Carter frowned. “He?”
“Kit.”
“Kit saved us,” Carter said. “Just like he promised.”
Tony shook his head. “He shot me.”
“No. The other hitman shot you. Before you fell, Kit took your gun and killed the guy. There was a doctor on the train who helped you until they could get to the next city. They rushed you to a Swiss hospital, where the doctors there got you put back together. Kit told the police some wild story about the hitman he’d killed, calling it self-defense. The police still arrested him—and I was sure it was all over for us then. Somehow, he escaped the police… and returned to the hospital just as another hitman came. Kit took care of him… and I helped Kit smuggle you out of the hospital… and he brought us here. To his safe house. Where he’s had a local doctor come and check on you every day for the last two weeks.”
“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, cupping Carter’s cheek.
He frowned. “Sorry for what?”
“That I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Kit was… so we’re okay,” Carter said.
Tony clenched his jaw. It wasn’t some other man’s job to protect what was his. He had failed.
“Someone’s awake, I see. About time.”
Tony lifted his stare and saw Kit standing in the doorframe.
Carter smiled up at the man. “I was just regaling him with our adventures from the train to here.”
“I hope you told him how dashing I was,” Kit said with a grin.
A grin that only further pissed Tony off.
If he did all Carter said, I should be thankful.
Yet he wasn’t.
Especially after Kit walked closer and put a hand on Carter’s shoulder.
“Can I get you something to eat? Some broth and maybe crackers?” Carter asked.
Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to eat. But his stomach clenched at the thought of food. Nodding his head, he met Carter’s stare. “Yes, please.”
“I’ll be right back,” Carter said before jumping up and leaving the room.
Kit’s stare followed Carter out before turning back to Tony. The look on his face spoke volumes. “You’ve got a good man, there.”
“I know.”
Kit smiled. “He’s been at your side almost constantly for the last three weeks. His loyalty to you is…” The man paused. “Let’s just say I’m… jealous.”
“Remember what I told you in the club?”
Kit frowned slightly, the smile fading some. “What part of it? No means no or you punching me in the gut—which I let you do, by the way.”
Sure. “The hands off him part.”
Kit’s smile only grew. “Carter only has eyes for you.”
“Oh? Did you test that theory?”
“Perhaps I did,” Kit said. “Perhaps I didn’t. Who knows?”
Kit disappeared through the door.
Moments later, Carter slipped back in carrying a tray of food. The scent of warm broth made his stomach clench again. He laid it across Tony’s lap and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Let me help you.”
“I can feed myself.”
Tony struggled to sit up a little more.
“Wait,” Carter said before cranking the bed up. It was an old hospital bed, and he was able to lift the head up for Tony. “There. That’s better, right?”
Tony nodded and took the spoon from the tray. He wasn’t used to being so dependent on others. He hated it.
The first spoonful of broth landed more on his chin than his lips. The next wasn’t much better. His hands didn’t seem to be as coordinated as he was accustomed to.
“Stop being mule headed.” Carter took the spoon. He brought it back to Tony’s lips. “You’re still healing from a serious injury. Let me help you.”
Tony met Carter’s insistent stare. After a few seconds, he opened his mouth and let his lover feed him.
Like a child.
He hated the feeling even more. But as he lay there and looked at the sense of love in Carter’s eyes, it quelled some of that hate. Carter seemed almost… happy… to be caring for him.
He would do anything in the world to make Carter happy.
Even if it meant he had to show his weaknesses.
After a few more spoonfuls, Tony couldn’t take any more. While the warmth felt fantastic on his throat, his gut wasn’t ready for much of anything. “I’m done.”
Carter put the spoon down and wiped his mouth and chin. “We can try again in a little while. I’ve got some gelatin ready for you, too. Applesauce… at least I think it’s apple sauce. It’s all in Italian… but there’s apples on the front and what’s inside looks like applesauce.”
Tony chuckled. “This isn’t the way I planned to show you Europe.”
Carter smiled wanly. “I know. But soon… you’ll be better and we can retrace our steps and do it the right way.”
Tony sensed concern in Carter’s words. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Carter looked away a moment before turning back to Tony. “Will we be able to do that? Or are we going to spend our days running?” Carter sighed. “I’m exhausted, Tony. I thought I knew what I’d signed up for… but being shot at and running for my life… I guess I had no idea.”
Tony swallowed thickly, overcome with emotion. His greed for Carter had made this happen. Had he never gone to that graduation ceremony…
Carter would now be safe. Living his life far from here.
“I shouldn’t have let you come. I should’ve let you move on without me,” Tony murmured. “My selfishness led to putting you in danger. It wasn’t fair to you.” He closed his eyes. “I couldn’t stay away…”
Carter brushed some hair from Tony’s face.
He reopened his eyes and saw the concern in Carter’s eyes.
“The thought of being anywhere but with you just doesn’t feel right. I love you so much.” Tears shone in Carter’s eyes. “I’m just tired. So, so tired.”
Tony dragged Carter down, ignoring the slice of pain from having his lover on his chest. “I love you, too.” Do I love him enough to let him go? Tony grimaced, the pain of that thought hurting more than any gunshot wound. “I have a contact in London. One I trust. He can get you back to the States. I’ll make sure you have a fresh start, far away from me.”
“No!” Carter said, lifting his head.
“You can’t have it both ways, love. Either you go back where you’re safe… or you stay in danger here. And I can’t handle the thought of the second option, not after what’s happened. I thought I could walk away… I really did. I was wrong. I won’t let you die because of it.”
Tears reformed in Carter’s eyes. One slipped down his cheek.
“I love you too much to allow you to stay,” Tony said, cementing the idea in his mind.
Carter shook his head. “No, Tony. Don’t do this. Don’t push me away again. There has to be another way.”
“Tell me you got our bags off the train.”
Carter nodded, looking confused. “Yeah.”
“There’s a phone in mine. It’s a sat phone. Untraceable. Bring it to me and I’ll get things set in motion.”
Carter rose from the bed, shaking his head. “No.”
“Carter…”
The man’s jaw set tightly. “No. I won’t bring it to you.” Carter grabbed the tray and lifted it from Tony’s lap. “Get some rest. I can bring you some more food later if you want.”
Carter exited the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
Too weak to attempt another climb from the bed, he closed his eyes. Once he was healed enough to get out of that bed, he’d find the damned phone himself.
Hopefully they all lasted that long.
* * * *
The days passed slowly. Each one, a doctor hobbled in through the gates with his black leather medical bag. The man was older than Methuselah. Kit and Carter acted as nursemaids, helping the ancient man change dressings and change out IV bags.
Carter ignored Tony’s request for the phone.
Kit informed him that Carter had threatened to kill anyone who gave Tony a phone. “He made me promise on my own life, Tony. No phone for you. Or else.”
Days turned into weeks. He was finally able to get up and walk short distances with a little assistance. Carter was at his side every step, every moment—his constant companion.
His love for the man only grew, even when his requests were being ignored.
By the time he was able to walk around on his own some, he couldn’t find his bags anywhere in the house. Both Carter and Kit ignored his questions, and the old doctor only stared at him confused—even though the man spoke to him quite easily in Italian about everything else under the sun and then some.
The weeks stretched out before Tony. The wound faded into a thin, pink line, but his body struggled to get back to where it was. Tony finally moved into the bedroom Carter was using and they once again shared a bed. Holding his lover close was good for his health—both physical and mental.
He seemed to grow stronger once Carter was once again in his arms each night.
One night, he felt the pang of need hit. Carter’s ass fit perfectly against his cock and he grew hard. It wasn’t his first erection since the gunshot, but it was the first one where he felt strong enough to do anything about it.
He rolled his hips, his heartbeat quickening.
Tony laid a trail of kisses along Carter’s neck, starving for them to do more than hold each other. He needed to lay claim to Carter’s body. To be one with him again…
Before I send him away.
Ignoring the unwanted thought, he focused on loving the man beside him with every ounce of himself.
After a moment, Carter stirred. His ass moved, rubbing against Tony’s very hard cock. Carter rolled over, his eyes looking a bit sleepy.
“Are you strong enough?”
Tony winced a bit. Regardless if he was or not, tonight he’d have his man. “I am,” he whispered before capturing Carter’s lips.
Their tongues clashed. Tony’s need mounted with every second. He rubbed himself against Carter before he slid his cock out from his briefs. Carter was naked, as always when they slept. Tony gripped both lengths in one hand and stroked them both. The feeling of Carter’s hard cock against his set his teeth on edge.
He needed to be inside his lover. More than his next breath. But before that could happen, he needed to hear Carter’s cries of satisfaction. Trailing kisses down his lover’s body, he pushed Carter flat to the mattress. He placed Carter’s legs on his shoulders before taking the man’s cock between his lips. After sucking the tip, he circled it with his tongue—and then licked the entire length down and back up.
Tony took a few inches into his mouth and suckled his partner. Carter moaned, the sound reverberating off the plaster walls. The moans grew in volume as he feasted on Carter’s cock. Too much time had passed. He had to make up for it. He had to taste every inch of Carter’s beautiful body.
Letting the cock slip from his mouth, he then nipped at Carter’s inner thighs. He teased the man, getting closer and closer, only to move away and start again. Once Carter was writhing under him, he sucked on the sack while fingering the tight hole beyond.
Carter gasped with need the second Tony placed his finger on that spot. His body tightened as the finger slowly entered him. When Tony was knuckle deep, Carter cried out, his back arching.
“Lube?” Tony murmured the question, his voice low.
“In my bag,” Carter said, pointing toward the chair where it hung. “Front pocket, I think.”
Tony climbed out of the bed and wandered over, his hard cock swaying between his legs. He fished out the lube and came back to the bed. Once he had poured some into his palm, he climbed in and returned to where he’d left off.
He coated Carter’s ass before sliding two fingers in. Carter seemed to sigh and moan at the same time. Tony smiled, lifting his head to capture the head of Carter’s cock between his lips. He finger-fucked his man while sucking more and more cock into his mouth.
Carter’s body trembled under him. It only took a few more strokes of his fingers and mouth before Carter nearly came off the bed. He cried out into the night, cum shooting from his cock. Tony swallowed every drop, sucking to milk every bit of Carter’s release.
When Carter stilled some, Tony rose up on his knees between those wanton thighs. Angling the head of his cock where his fingers had just been, he slowly entered Carter for the first time in nearly three months.
Tony could already feel the fatigue hitting him, but he refused to cower to it. He needed this connection they’d been missing. He needed the intimacy.
He needed to prove he could still be the man he was.
Slowly, he drove into Carter, binding them as one. It wasn’t the wild, rough fucking, but a languid loving. He stared down into Carter’s eyes, feeling the bond they shared had evolved.
Grown. Carter was in his blood. Carter was woven into the fabric of who he was… who he’d become from this point forward.
I have to save him from me. He deserves better.
Tony quickened his pace, even though his body screamed for him to slow down. He knew they only had days left together. Eventually, he’d find a way to contact Ian and set his plan into motion.
For now, he would love Carter with everything he had and more.
He struggled for air, his chest on fire. Unwilling to stop, he rolled them over, putting Carter on top. Carter stretched sensually and pushed back on Tony’s cock before adjusting his legs. He rose up to a seated position and then began to move over Tony’s shaft.
Tony groaned, the sensation almost too good. Now on his back, he could focus on the pleasure of his own body more. He gripped Carter’s hips and set the pace he needed. Carter followed along, moving gracefully over him.
Moonlight washed in through the old glass windows of the villa. Shadows and light played over Carter’s face and chest. Tony’s stare followed the lines… the cheekbones… the curve of the lips he loved to kiss. They parted on a moan, his head falling back with pleasure.
Tony continued his perusal. The column of Carter’s neck… the curve of the shoulder as it rounded into a firm bicep. He glowed under the light, his skin looking luminescent.
This was the way he’d remember Carter. In the lonely nights to come, this was the night he’d remember.
Carter lowered his body, demanding Tony’s kiss. Tony feasted on Carter’s lips as the man moved quicker and quicker over his cock. He gripped Carter tighter, feeling his body tighten. He was so close…
So close…
“Aahhhhhhh,” he cried out as his hips arced upward. He filled Carter with a heavy load of seed, giving everything he had.
Moments later, when he was boneless and breathing hard, Carter lay across his chest.
“I’m not hurting you, am I?”
Tony brushed his hand through Carter’s hair. He was hurting, but not for the reasons Carter assumed. Even if he’d been in physical pain, he wouldn’t have wanted his lover to move in that moment. He was still memorizing every second, burning it into his brain. “No. You’re fine.”
Carter laid a gentle kiss on Tony’s chest. “I love you.”
He contemplated a lie. Trying to tell Carter he no longer felt the same. That he didn’t love the man anymore. But he’d already tried that route once before and it hadn’t worked. “I love you, too.”
They lay there like that for hours. Carter drifted off, but Tony was unable to find rest. The sun began to rise, slowly illuminating the room.
Tony looked down at Carter’s angelic face and memorized that, too.
The recollections of what he had with the man were the only things he could hold on to after Carter was gone.