She knew better than to let Evan’s hand stay on hers, but she missed him. More than she should. As Kate had predicted, not talking about the kiss had interfered with her and Evan’s friendship. They’d barely seen each other since Christmas, a drastic change from when they’d spent several days a week together.

Yet the time apart had made her realize she cared for him, and that maybe—just maybe—she could open her heart to love again. What she’d told Evan while they waited for a seat was true. She didn’t regret marrying Mike, and would still have married him, even if she’d known how soon he would die. By that same logic, why should she shy away from a potential relationship with Evan?

Life was too short to make decisions based on fear. She might get hurt again, but she also might find years of joy ahead of her.

Every time she thought about telling Evan her feelings, she froze. She’d picked up her phone to call him many times over the last several weeks, but chickened out each time.

When he’d called earlier that evening, he was giving her that opportunity, but she’d still hesitated. They needed to have a serious talk, but making herself vulnerable scared her. What if his feelings didn’t match hers, and she set herself up for disappointment? It’s a risk you know you must take.

She moved her hand from his. The light touch affected her in ways that clouded her thinking. Let them get through the meal first, then they’d talk.

They were called to a table and sat on two end seats of an eight-person setting. A family celebrating a child’s birthday filled the remaining six chairs.

“What are you getting?” All the menu choices sounded good, and she couldn’t decide.

Evan hadn’t even opened the menu. “Salmon. As soon as you suggested coming here, I knew what I wanted.”

“I thought about shrimp, but they give a few as an appetizer.” Enjoying food after a year of not tasting anything she ate was a marvelous part of the healing process. “It’s narrowed down to steak or chicken.”

“Do they have a combination option?”

She scanned the menu. “Yes.”

“There you go.” His crooked grin warmed her spirit.

They placed their orders, and soon their chef came to the table wearing a tall hat and pushing a cart loaded with ingredients. He performed a juggling act with the utensils before scraping a large square of butter from a bowl and tossing it on the grill.

Good thing I don’t eat like this all the time.

The entertainment continued with a flaming onion and more demonstrations of skills with the utensils. Their lively environment provided neutral territory, and she and Evan fell into their easy friendship. For the length of the meal, she forgot about everything except enjoying time with her friend.

Too soon the meal ended. They returned to Evan’s car and sat silently for a span of several seconds. She didn’t have to remind Evan about her condition of acceptance. He’d keep his word.

He traced a finger along the inside rim of the steering wheel. “Do you want to go back to your house and talk?”

“That’s fine.”

They didn’t talk on the drive there, saving their words for the conversation to come. Her garage and porch lights automatically turned on when he pulled in the driveway. She removed her keys from her purse, ready to unlock the door and get this over with.

She’d desperately wanted to sort out their issues, but now that the time had come, her nerves twisted into a rat’s nest of anxiety.

“Do you want anything to drink?” she asked after turning on the lights.

“I’m good, thanks.” His weight shifted to his good leg.

She’d noticed he’d been limping since they left the restaurant. “We can go in the living room.” Sitting on the right end of the sofa, she offered him the left side where the ottoman was.

“Thanks.” Once he lowered himself to the seat, he propped his leg on the ottoman, a touch of frustration evident in his taut facial muscles.

Compassion struck her. “We can do this another night.” When you’re not hurting.

“No, tonight’s good.” His jaw twitched. “We’ve put this off too long.”

The clock ticked. She should have gotten rid of it years ago, but, for whatever reason, Mike had loved it. The second hand made a full revolution, then another.

Evan adjusted the collar of his shirt. “On second thought, a glass of water would be nice.”

“I’ll get it.” She jumped to her feet, too eager to delay the talk.

She pulled two tumblers from the cabinet and pressed them against the spout of the refrigerator’s ice dispenser, then water spout. Carrying them into the living room, she attempted to think of conversation starters but came up dry.

Evan reached for a glass, drank a sip, then set it on the end table beside him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” After she had sat down, she took a throw pillow and hugged it on her lap.

“Where do we start?”

“I don’t know.” A nervous laugh bubbled from her chest. “I’ve never had this kind of conversation before.”

“Me either.” He lowered his leg, then shifted to face her. “All I know is, I miss what we had.”

“So do I.”

“Tonight was nice. Almost like old times.” His tone begged for consensus.

“Yes, it was.” She absently wrapped the pillow’s tag around her finger. “But then we’re here, and it’s not.”

He sighed and leaned into the sofa’s corner. “We can’t be more than friends, but how do we return to friends?”

His declaration shattered her confidence, but she covered it with agreement. “Anything beyond friendship would never work for us.”

“Why not?”

What in the world? She stopped herself short of throwing her arms up in the air. “You said it first.”

“But it doesn’t mean that’s what I want.” He flexed his jaw. “It just means that’s how it has to be.”

“You’re not making sense.”

Hands curled into tight fists. “I care for you. I tried hard to deny it to myself and everyone around us, but our time together in Louisiana convinced me. And it wasn’t the kisses—those were only confirmation of what I’d already figured out.”

“And I care for you, too. I didn’t want to, fought hard to change my feelings, but they wouldn’t go away.” She set the pillow aside, and tucked her feet under her to face him fully. “If we both want more than friendship, what are we running from?”

Evan swallowed, and turned toward her too. “Mike was my best friend. He asked me to take care of you, not fall in love.”

The confusion lifted. “I see.”

“Do you?” His fists clenched tighter. “Getting involved with you would be the ultimate betrayal of my friendship with Mike.”

Hadn’t she argued the same concept with herself many times? “Mike is dead, and he’s not coming back.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” He flinched at the anger in his tone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“Mike wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life alone, and I can’t help thinking if he had handpicked a man to come into my life after him, it would be one of his best friends.”

“It’s not fair. He should be here with you. What right do I have to be with you?”

“I always thought Mike was my future, but that’s not how life worked out. I’ve had to accept that he is my past, and the future is not guaranteed. All I have is now.” She scooted onto the middle cushion and put her hands on his shoulders. “This is now, Evan. You and me. We can embrace it to its fullest—or risk living with regret.”

Drawing on every bit of strength and will she possessed, she moved her hands upward and cradled his face. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t want this? That even now, you’re not remembering how powerfully our kisses affected you? That you don’t honestly see a future between us?”

His gaze burned into her. “I can’t.”

“Then what next? The ball’s in your court.”

Lowering his head, his mouth lingered a hair’s width from hers. “This.”

***

Evan couldn’t think straight. For all his excuses and reasons why he shouldn’t date Janie, none of them made sense right now. He was on an emotional high from her declaration of affection and hearing the passion with which she spoke.

She was officially his Janie as he’d thought of her for months, but didn’t think he’d had the right. And they’d sealed it with a kiss.

Fear had no place among them. She’d given him the words he’d needed to release any guilt about falling for his best friend’s gal.

But you had other reasons. His conscience kept trying to ruin his moment of joy.

 He didn’t want reminders pressing on him of why a relationship couldn’t work. They needed time to ease into this—and then he’d tell her, before they got in too deep.

Too late for that.

“Shut up.”

Janie jerked her head back. “Did you just tell me to shut up?”

He growled under his breath, not realizing he’d spoken out loud. “That was supposed to be a silent reprimand to my conscience.”

“Huh?”

“I’m an idiot.” He hit his head against the sofa cushion. “My mind keeps repeating that phrase that goes something like, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”

She made a noise that fell between a snort and laugh. “That good of a kiss?”

Knowing he’d never live it down, he winked and made the best of his faux pas. “The best.”

The merriment left her eyes. “When should we tell Jared and Wyatt?”

“The sooner, the better.” He wove his fingers with hers, needing the contact. “I’m honestly not sure how they’ll take the news.”

“You don’t think they’ll be happy?”

“Remember the night before Wyatt left, and we had a going away party?”

“Yes. We drove together.” The expression on her face implied so what.

“Jared told me Wyatt saw us walking in together and freaked out for a minute when he thought we’d gone as a couple.”

Good grief, that was less than six months after Mike died. Why would he even think that? She furrowed her brows. “Besides, now it’s been a year, and a lot has changed. I think he’ll understand, especially since he found love again.”

“I hope.”

“We can call him now.” She raised a single shoulder, turning the statement into a question.

He reached for his phone. “Okay.”

“Wait.” Her hand flew out to stop him. “Should we give ourselves time to adjust as a couple before going public?”

“We could, but you want my honest opinion?” After she nodded, he continued. “I think it’s important we tell them soon. We’re happy at the moment, feeling invincible, but I’m not naïve enough to believe we won’t face more obstacles and struggle again with the issues that kept us from getting here two months ago. If we tell Wyatt, he’ll be praying for us, and I think we’ll need that.”

“I didn’t think of it that way, but you have a good point.” She sucked in a long gulp of air. “Make the call.”

“Sure?”

“Positive.”

Thumbing through his contacts, he saw Wyatt’s number then tapped Call.

Wyatt answered on the second ring. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

“I have something I wanted to tell you.” He started to put the call on speaker, but if Wyatt had an adverse reaction, he didn’t want Janie subjected to anything he might say.

“Must be serious to call this late.”

He glanced at the annoyingly loud clock on the wall. Was it really after ten already? “I didn’t realize it was so late. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Meg’s reading up on a new system the library is thinking about installing so I’ve been relegated to watching reruns of reruns.”

“Sounds…fun.”

“Not exactly.” Wyatt laughed, and Evan could picture him rolling his eyes. “What’s going on?”

Why were words failing him? He stole a glimpse of his hand wrapped with Janie’s and smiled. “I’m seeing someone.”

“Cool. Anyone I know?”

“Janie.”

“Oh.” The tone of Wyatt’s reaction made it hard to decipher his thoughts on the matter.

“That’s it?”

Wyatt cleared his throat. “It took me by surprise, but I guess it shouldn’t have. I saw the way you looked at each other at my wedding, but Meg told me it was because I had romance on the mind.”

“That was months ago.”

“It took me seven years to come to my senses about Meg.”

“Touchè.” He stole a glimpse of Janie, who stared at him expectantly.

“What’s he saying?” she whispered.

“He’s good,” he mouthed.

“How long has this been going on?” Wyatt’s questions brought Evan’s attention back to the phone.

“Officially—an hour.”

“Why are you on the phone then instead of spending time with your girl?” The teasing tone transferred undiluted over the line.

“I plan on doing lots of that, but we wanted you to know, in case there were any problems.”

“If both of you are happy, then I’m happy.” A split-second silence filled the air. “I think you’d have Mike’s blessing. And not that you need it, but you have mine.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

“Treat her well. If I hear of any missteps, I won’t hesitate to go all big brother on you.”

Evan laughed, though he didn’t doubt Wyatt would follow through on his threat. Fortunately for him, he had no intentions of treating Janie with anything but the utmost respect. “I wouldn’t expect less.”

“Have you told Jared?”

“No, he’s in the field until April.”

“That’s right.” Wyatt coughed. “Sorry. Allergies. My body’s readjusting to spring in the North. Anyway, I think Jared will be happy for you two.”

Janie nudged him. “Let me talk to him.”

“Do you have a few more minutes? Janie wants to talk to you.”

“I always have time for her. Put her on the phone.”

Evan handed the phone to Janie and listened to the one side of the conversation he could hear. Janie’s laughter told him all he needed to know. Still watching her, he settled in his seat, counting his blessings.