LEXI
After Bailey and I say our goodbyes, I turn my attention to my son, making him the exact same breakfast I made his father, minus the coffee of course. “What do you want to do today?” I ask after he makes it through most of his food.
His eyes light up. “Can we go to the beach?”
“A man after my own heart.” I bob my head in appreciation. “I could spend all day at the beach and not get tired of it.”
“Me, too.” Gabe grins at me and my heart melts.
For as much as he takes after Ty, it’s almost a relief to see little bits of me in there too. “What do you want to do at the beach?” I ask. “I can try to throw a football with you, but I’m nowhere near as good as you or Ty.”
“Can we see if Toby can come? He said he has this thing called a boogie board and it sounds so cool. He said he’d teach me how to use it.”
I check the clock on the microwave. “I don’t know if they’re even awake right now; it’s still pretty early for people on Hawaii time. Tell you what, why don’t you and I get ready and head out there. I’ll shoot them a text when it’s a little later and see if they want to join us.”
Gabe nods his approval and finishes his breakfast. I clean up the kitchen, taking care to leave it in as good of shape as I found it. We are guests here, after all, even if I feel just as comfortable here as I do at home. After the kitchen is clean, we head upstairs where I intend to make the bed and then get dressed for the beach. To my surprise, the bed is already made, the corners crisp and neatly tucked into place. I wonder what other surprises Ty has in store for me.
Almost as soon as I’m dressed, the doorbell rings. I scurry down the stairs and open the door to find Tara smiling sheepishly on the front porch.
“I know it’s early, but it’s not Marine early and it’s definitely not Ohio early, so I took a chance and figured you’d be up. I didn’t wake you did I?”
“God no. We’ve been up forever I think. Come on in.” I step aside and gesture for her to enter. “It’s not too early at all. Gabe and I were just about to head to the beach.”
Tara takes a tentative step into the house and then pauses. “That’s exactly why I came by. Toby was hoping to play with Gabe and I know I wouldn’t mind some grown up company. It gets so quiet around the house when Jack leaves for work.” She smiles apologetically. “Would you mind if we tagged along?”
“Gabe was just asking if we could invite you guys along. Apparently, Toby has a boogie board and has promised lessons.”
Tara laughs. “I’m sorry about that in advance. Toby can barely stay on the thing himself but he has a blast with it anyway.”
“As long as Gabe’s moving, he’s happy, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Perfect.” Tara beams. “I don’t know who’s more excited to have company, me or Toby.” She shrugs. “Probably me. There are tons of kids in the neighborhood for him to play with but I lost my closest friend last month when her husband got reassigned to another base. I’ve been kind of lost ever since…” She trails off and then claps her hands together. “Okay, well. You look like you’re pretty much ready. Do you mind waiting a few minutes for us to change?”
“I’ve got nothing but time.” I smile warmly, pleased to be on vacation and not have deadlines hanging over my head.
“Perfect.” Tara heads back to her house and reappears just a few minutes later with Toby in tow. Gabe takes one look at the boogie board tucked under his arm and decides he must have his own before the end of the day. We walk to the beach, chatting lightly as the boys run on ahead. Conversation with Tara is easy enough and she seems to enjoy sitting in a lounge chair and watching the water roll up to the shore as much as I do.
“What’s it like?” I ask, as I watch Gabe take a running leap onto the boogie board and skim along the water for the first time without falling down. “Being married to a Marine?” Gabe hops off the thing and high-fives Toby. He turns to me to see if I saw and I give him a round of applause before he’s off and running again.
Tara leans back in her chair and turns to me. “Do you want the real answer or the one I save for company?”
“The real one, please. I’m a no bullshit kind of girl.”
“It’s hard,” Tara says, her voice heavy. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud as hell of my husband and what he does, but I’m scared for him a lot, too. Our men, they don’t just go out there and play army. First ones in, last ones out. That’s a real thing. The chances of them seeing combat is very, very real. We’ve lost friends.” She looks out towards the sky. “There are times when he’s overseas and I won’t hear from him for weeks and all I can do is sit and wait for a phone call that either restarts my world or ends it completely. Those are the worst parts about him being gone. The other parts aren’t that bad. It’s pretty close to being a single mother.” Tara shades her face to watch her son hop on the boogie board. “But even that has its challenges,” she continues. “Just when Toby and I get into a rhythm of being alone, Jack comes home and we have to get used to each other all over again.”
“Wow.” My mind is going a million miles an hour and I can’t think of anything to say but Tara doesn’t seem to mind.
“It can be hard, but it’s worth it, too. For one, we get to live here, although, we could end up in who knows where just as easily. But, honestly, I can’t imagine Jack ever doing anything else. He’s wired to be a hero. To push himself harder, faster, stronger right alongside a bunch of guys wired the exact same way. What does that look like anywhere else but here? What do I expect him to do? Retire and get an office job somewhere? He’d wither away. I married the man, knowing I was marrying a Marine. Our life is challenging, but it’s worth it. Besides, you know what they say about absence. It makes the heart grow fonder. I have time to miss him when he’s gone and by the time they’re ready to deploy him again, I’m pretty much ready to send him overseas myself.”
I smile and laugh, trying to imagine myself in her shoes. Would I feel the same? Right now, with Ty being gone for a handful of hours and me missing him as if he’d been gone for months, it’s hard to imagine me actively wishing he would leave, but is that what happens to relationships? Do they degrade until the person is more annoyance than anything? I wonder what Bailey and Michelle would say about Liam and David. Do they crave time alone, away from their husbands or are they still happiest when they’re together?
I let myself fast forward and imagine myself married to Ty. How would I handle the times he’s deployed? The single mom stuff I’ve got down. I’ve darn near perfected that life. But not hearing from him for weeks? Could I live through that? Worrying about whether he’s alive or dead, just waiting for him to call me and let me know he’s okay? What if something happens? Something real and dangerous and life-threatening?
“I don’t know how you do it,” I say to Tara.
She smiles and shrugs. “It’s like all things. You get used to it.”