Chapter Thirty-Seven

JACK

NY152,

You know that scene in You’ve Got Mail where Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are at that party together where Meg Ryan finds out Tom Hanks is in fact, Joe Fox, and they are both getting food from the table. Tom Hanks grabs all the caviar off one of the plates and Meg Ryan yells at him, telling him the caviar is a garnish? Do you remember that? Well, I had caviar today for the first time and I’ve come to the conclusion that it should be a garnish and nothing else.

Ugh, I can’t get the taste out of my mouth.

Help!

Noely

NY152,

On the show today, Turk Gunderson came and did a piece about Christmas trees and how to decorate them. He was insistent about using fake fiber-optic trees because they glistened and shimmered rather than glowed.

When did glistening and shimmering become better than glowing? I always thought glowing was the optimal way to shine light. Are you a glower, glistener, or shimmer-er? In my head, you’re a glower, but maybe that’s because I hold you in a higher regard.

Noely

NY152,

My brother made duck last night for our little family dinner. Duck, like the little quack, quack ducks you can feed at a pond.

I wasn’t a fan of his menu selection, nor was I fan of him using the head of the duck as a “decoration.” Hell, I would have rather seen the caviar gracing the plate at that point.

When he brought it out, all I could think about was the end scene in A Christmas Story when they are at the Chinese restaurant, singing Fra ra ra ra all night long.

Despite the fun memory, and that song playing on repeat in my head, I still couldn’t get over the dead duck head. Why my brother had to do that, I have no idea. Thankfully, he got an earful from his wife when their daughter buried her body under the table and would not reappear for dinner.

He doesn’t think things through sometimes.

Noely

NY152,

I’m not sure why you’ve been so silent lately, but please know this. I’ve missed you and your messages. I’ve missed the way you make me laugh, and the sweet words you say. I’m not sure if I said something wrong, or if you’re pulling away, but whatever it might be, I hope you tell me because honestly, I’ve missed you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

ShopGirl

I close out of the app and run both hands over my face, squeezing my eyes shut in the process. God, I miss her too.

I miss her so damn much, just as much as I missed her when I stopped us from going further the first time.

Why the hell did I do that?

Hmm . . . maybe because I’m a scared asshole with a tendency to run when things get complicated. Just like they are now.

Fuck, are they complicated.

I didn’t think this through, not even in the slightest.

When we went out for tacos the other day, I wanted to gauge where she was at, to see if there was any inkling that I could be the guy she’s messaging. But when she talked about it, when she talked about “him” it seemed like she was talking about someone completely separate from me, and that’s what is terrifying me.

I thought I’d been winning her over during the past few weeks. I thought I was doing a really good job at it actually, turning our sour encounter into a relationship to last for years to come. But now, now I wonder if I inadvertently friend-zoned myself?

Is she thinking The Rebel is who she’s been talking to? Is The Rebel the one who’s captured her? If only she would give me some sort of hint, because frankly, I’m terrified to meet up with her as NY152 and for her to be tremendously disappointed.

“Shit,” I mutter and walk out to my deck. What I wouldn’t give to have Noely here right now, laughing and teasing me.

I didn’t mean to meet anyone with the app. My profile was just a test profile, to make sure we had everything setup properly, but when the system matched me with Noely, and I read everything about her, I was intrigued. I had to meet her, so I said yes to a date.

Best decision of my life.

That night we spent together, hell, I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

Scratch that, I haven’t stopped thinking about the kiss we shared in her house, with her hair crazed with curls.

Wait, no. I haven’t stopped thinking about what we did in her dressing room. God, she’d felt perfect in my arms. So damn perfect. The taste of her. The feel of her wrapped around me. The softness of her skin. Fuck. How did I mess this up so badly?

I rub the scruff on my jaw, contemplating what I should do next. I thought using the You’ve Got Mail identities would make it so easy for her to know it was me. Wasn’t it the first thing we really connected on? The first big tick that said she and I were so suited? Had she actually found that in common with The Rebel as well?

I have two options, I can continue to be Noely’s friend, or I can nut up and message her back, ask her out on a date.

Knowing I can’t drag this on anymore—I’ve reached my breaking point—I pull my phone from my pocket.

Noely,

I’m so sorry about the silence recently. To be honest, I was trying to come up with different excuses as to why not to answer you, but they were all lies and you deserve better than that. So to tell you the truth, I took some time to do some serious thinking about what’s to come, about us, if there even is an us.

Despite being a strong and confident man, you’ve bewitched me. You’ve invaded my mind and turned it into a dusty fog, a place where nothing but your beautiful eyes and smile exist.

But even that is not an excuse, so I deeply apologize if I bewildered or upset you in any way. Please don’t think I’m not thinking about you, because your mouthy remarks and funny banter ring through my head every damn day.

Me

I hit send and take in a deep breath. I’ve never been this edgy about a girl in my life. Hell, I’ve never been nervous about anything really for that matter. Million-dollar business deals barely grant me a perspiration, but Noely in a tight red dress with matching lipstick? Fuck, she had me sweating from my hands to my feet.

Below me the waves crash onto the shore, calming my racing heart just as a message pings on my phone. That was quick, but I’m glad. I don’t know if I can wait very long for a response.

NY152,

Some serious thinking? What were you thinking about? It kind of makes me nervous that you took a while to respond because of thinking.

If we’re being honest, I like you, a lot, and if you were thinking about possibly ending this messaging relationship without even meeting, it would probably crush me.

Noely

Fuck. I run my hand through my hair. I have her just where I want her, liking the man who has won her soul over, but the only question is, is she going to like the man who’s behind the messages?

How on earth did Tom Hanks do this in You’ve Got Mail? I know it’s fiction—a movie no less—but it took some serious guts to win Meg Ryan over after he put her out of business. I would feel way more confident if The Rebel wasn’t in the picture. I know nothing about him. For all I know, he could be her soul mate.

Yes, I could have looked him up in the system, since I created it, but that would be a gross invasion of privacy. Now I’m second-guessing that decision.

My lips twist to the side as I think about my options. Well, option . . . because there really is only one.

It’s time to come clean. I hope that when she sees who NY152 is, she’s not disappointed.

Gathering myself, I open the app back up and click on the date request for ShopGirl. When I hit send, I go to the message bar and type her a quick message.

Noely,

Ending our messaging, no. I could never do that without at least taking you out on one more date, without giving myself one more chance at winning over your heart.

So, will you do me the honor and go out with me this Friday night? If you’d like to, accept my date request and I’ll see you at Going in Blind. Until then, sleep well, beautiful.

Me

Pressing send, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as I stare out at the ocean, trying to let the crash of the waves calm my nerves. Unfortunately, I’m at a point where nothing is going to soothe me, not until Noely is once again in my arms. Not until she is truly mine. Because when she is, I am never letting her go.