Chapter Seven

Thrice led her into a bedroom where her suitcases were. “All of your belongings are in here. If you would like you can take a shower and turn in to get some rest.”

“Where will I sleep? I thought I could bunk down in Brandi’s apartment.”

“They don’t have an extra bed.”

“Oh. I could sleep on the floor.”

“Why? You can sleep here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He showed her where the bathroom was before he left her alone.

When he left, she collapsed onto the bed. Everything she had gone through was catching up with her. Instead of showering, she managed to stand up and take off her clothes. She reached for a shapeless nightshirt and pulled it over her head. It stopped at her knees plenty of coverage. She crawled onto the bed and drew the cover over her head.

Tears of frustration gathered in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She took out one of her cherished memories. The ones she safeguarded and reviewed periodically so she wouldn’t forget.

She was sitting at the big table in the kitchen. The walls were yellow and warm. The room was warm because her mom had the oven on. She was watching her mom combine the ingredients for a cake. Soon her mother would let her stir them together. A smile lingered on her lips much like it had all those years ago.

“Mommy, how do you know what you want to be when you grow up?” She had given her mom a list of things she planned to do when she was grown. She wanted to be a teacher and a singer, a vet because she loved animals, a doctor to make others well. Her mom would just smile and listen to her.

“Dreams are tricky baby. People will try to take them away from you. I had a dream once, and everyone told me I couldn’t do it because I was a girl. I listened, but times are changing. You can be whatever you want to be.”

“But how will I know?”

“That’s the tricky part. It will feel right, but others will tell you, you’re crazy. Do what makes you happy. Remember that, do what makes you happy.”

“Okay, mommy.” She remembered, but she always knew one day she would have to do what her father said. Turning over she buried her face in the pillow. Thrice’s scent surrounded her. She sat up before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. The floor was warm underneath her feet. He must have in-floor heating.

She padded softly towards the door. Where was he sleeping? If Jabari and Brandi didn’t have an extra bed in their place for her, then how did he? He was as single as the others. Why would there be an extra bed on his floor? That meant he gave up his bed for her. Why?

She went to the door closest to his room. When she opened it, the room was unfinished and unfurnished.

First, she flexed her toes on the warm floor loving the heat that greeted her. Then she softly walked into the living room not wanting to wake him if he was asleep. The couch was empty, but she could see his feet peeking out beyond the couch. He was lying on the floor.

When she walked over, he opened an eye and looked at her.

“Why are you on the floor?” she snapped.

His eyes dimmed. It was as if he pulled the curtain down blocking out the sunlight. Shit, she made a mistake. Seeing him on the floor rattled her. She still remembered his comment about abuse from earlier. It was entrenched in her brain like flesh-eating bacteria.

“I was hoping to get a few hours of sleep.”

She nodded, not knowing the right thing to say. He made her brain beg for a reboot. Forget the reboot, she needed to update her files. When was the last time she spent time talking to a male as fine as Thrice?

“You gave me your bed. I can’t take that. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want you to sleep on the couch.”

“Well, I can’t, won’t, take your bed.”

He gave her a reserved smile. “I must insist.”

She gave an exaggerated sigh and sat on the couch. “I'll tell you what. I will sit here on the couch, and we can look at each other all night. But I won’t put you out of your bed.”

He lowered his eyes unable to look at her. “I can go downstairs.”

“No! You’re not getting it.”

“I’m trying to make you happy. Why must you fight me on this?”

If he had screamed at her or even tried to make her feel bad, there was a chance she would have tried to take him apart verbally. She was just that fragile right now. But he hadn’t done any of those things. His voice was soft, and his eyes were downcast. He was strong and submissive at the same time, and she didn’t like it.

“I don’t want to fight you. How about we compromise?”

He looked up at her with tired brown eyes. God, she could dive into those eyes. His were truly the window to his soul.

“Your bed is big enough for us both to sleep on it.”

His eyes shuttered. It was like a wall of steel being placed between them. His body was so still, she was afraid he wasn’t breathing. Her breath was coming out loud, like a train trying to pull too much weight.

“Thrice?” She almost choked on his name before she got it out.

His body shuddered, and she saw him take a deep breath.

“That’s not a good idea.”

She nodded, of course it wasn’t. She slipped off the couch lying next to him. In the dictionary, her picture had to be next to brazen hussy and shameless fool. She didn’t care, if she didn’t touch him, she was going to go crazy. Already her hands were shaking, and her breath was rattling in her chest like she was dying. It didn’t make sense, but she needed to be close to him.

“I won’t hurt you Thrice; I swear I won’t.”

His arms went around her bringing her closer to his body. The heat he gave off warmed her driving away some of the chill.

“You’re safe with me.” It came out as a low murmur followed by a yawn. He picked her up and walked into the bedroom.

Once he had her on the bed, he laid close pulling her back into his arms.

What am I doing? He questioned himself. He knew better, knew what lay down this road. Nothing but shame and degradation. To have to feel it at the hands of his mate ate at his soul, but he wasn’t strong enough to tell her to go.

He closed his eyes to enjoy the night because tomorrow she would change.

*~*~*~

What the hell was he doing holding her?

“Who gave you permission to touch me?” Her voice cut across him like a whip. He jerked awake moving his arms swiftly.

“I don’t know who you think you are, but if you ever touch me again, I will fucking eviscerate you. Did you hear me?” Her voice raised as the pounding in her head took over her thoughts. The nerve of that… that thing to think he could touch her.

He would not get away with it. She looked around the room for a weapon. He would bleed before she was done with him. A picture of him tied up as she wielded a whip against his back was so clear. A smile crossed her face. He wouldn’t be able to stand when she was done.

Another picture took its place. She was ten years old being sent to her room. Her father denied her food for a week. Nothing but bread and water because she ate too much and her mouth was too sassy.

Her eyes flew to him. He dropped to the floor on his knees with his head bent. He was naked as he waited for what was to come. Her hand flew to her mouth to keep her from throwing up as she ran to the bathroom.

“No, please.” She sobbed. What was happening to her? The thought of physical and mental torture kept coming to her. She could use him to do anything she wanted, and she knew he wouldn’t resist.

How could this be happening to her? She crawled to the shower forgetting to take her nightshirt off. After she turned on the water, she stuck her head in, in hopes that she could wash the images out of her brain.

She wouldn’t do it, she would leave him and never turn around.

“Then another will do it for you.”

What the? “Who is this? Are you talking to me in my head?” I’m going crazy. This has to be a nightmare.

“I’m going to give you the one thing you have always wanted.”

That got her attention. She was looking up. It was easier than believing there was a voice in her head talking to her.

“What’s that?”

“A choice.”

She waited, but the voice was gone, and she had a little control over her brain. Reaching up she turned off the water and stood to take off her nightshirt. She let it drop in the shower and got out reaching for a towel. She wrapped it around her body and walked out. When she reached the bedroom Thrice was still on his knees with his head bent.

“Thrice.” She choked on his name.

“It has to be this way.”

“What way? Tell me please.”

“I always knew that when I met my mate that she would order my death. I expect no less.”

“But you should. If I’m your mate, you have a right to expect love, and passion as well as compassion. No one has a right to hurt someone else.”

“And still it happens every day not only on your planet but across the galaxy. Who am I to ask to be spared?”

Who was he to ask to be spared? Who asked a question like that? The abused. Not the casually abused. Not that she thought that category existed. But the tragically abused. The ones whose abuser enjoyed it. They got off on it as if that was the only way they could feel like a male or a female. Before today, she would say that never happened to males. But the strong body bent in a subservient position told her that her high and moral ground was a lie. Anyone could be abused human or alien.

“I won’t kill you.”

“You will eventually.”

She wanted to protest, but after her actions earlier anything she said wouldn’t mean a thing. All she had to give him was her future actions.

“Could we start over?”

“You want to get kidnapped again?”

She opened her mouth to berate him then shut it quickly. The momentary sparkle in his eyes and the realization that she had a choice hit her at the same time.

“Let’s just start the day over, if possible.” Ivory came into the room and rubbed her body against Thrice. “I think you won her over.”

“She’s beautiful, just like you.” He looked up at her, judging her.

She felt it in her chest and the tongue that wanted to take him apart. It was like she was two separate people. The one who was enthralled by him and the bitch. Of course, the bitch was playing to win.

The other side of her that always went along for the ride. Even when the train was taking her to hell dropped the towel and knelt on the floor beside him.

“If you kneel, I’ll kneel. When you stand, I’ll stand. If you want to, you can kiss me, but only if you want to.”