Tigerheart hunted alone until nightfall. The three mice and two shrews he added to the fresh-kill pile meant that all his Clanmates could eat. They’d find the flesh sweet and soft, but they wouldn’t taste the bitter resentment that had driven him to hunt so determinedly.
He crouched now beneath a jutting knot of brambles beside the warrior den. The night was cold, and his sodden fur did little to keep out the chill. The rain pounded the clearing. Snowbird and Scorchfur were patrolling the borders. The rest of his Clanmates had long since withdrawn to their dens. Tigerheart didn’t want to go to his nest yet. He didn’t want to listen to Stonewing and Grassheart snoring. He knew he wouldn’t sleep. Worry about Dovewing would crowd his thoughts the moment he closed his eyes. It pricked at his belly now. Had she found somewhere safe and dry to shelter for the night? Perhaps she was keeping ahead of this relentless rain.
He saw two shapes move outside Rowanstar’s den.
“Go and talk to him.” Tawnypelt’s mew was muffled by the downpour. Tigerheart saw her nudge Rowanstar toward him.
As his father approached, he straightened and sat up, curling his tail tightly around his paws. Rain streamed from his whiskers.
“You shouldn’t have interfered.” Rowanstar stopped in front of him.
Tigerheart could see anger still burning in his father’s gaze and, behind it, hurt. “I’m sorry.” He dipped his head. He might have been right about the rabbit, but he knew how much he’d humiliated his father by stepping between his Clanmates and SkyClan. “I just didn’t want to see anyone get hurt.” He wondered if he should remind him that it would be a good idea to stay friendly with SkyClan. He decided to appeal to Rowanstar’s kindness instead. “After all we suffered with Darktail, I didn’t want to see more cats wounded.”
Rowanstar seemed to flinch; the memory clearly pained him. “I understand how you feel, Tigerheart. You care about your Clanmates. You are a good warrior, but leading a Clan that has been torn apart by rogues is hard enough. Leading a Clan when your son and deputy publicly challenges your decisions is impossible.” He gazed at Tigerheart, his eyes glittering solemnly in the darkness.
“I didn’t mean to undermine you,” Tigerheart meowed quickly. “I just wanted to do what was right.”
Rowanstar held his gaze. “Your plan worked. SkyClan promised to return what they stole and everyone was left unscathed.” He stared at the muddy earth for a moment before lifting his gaze to meet Tigerheart’s once more. “I am proud of you. I know that one day you will be a great leader. But it is hard to be eclipsed.”
Sympathy welled in Tigerheart’s chest. Rowanstar wanted to do the best for his Clan, but he didn’t always seem to know how. Had it always been this way? Had he been out of his depth since StarClan named him leader? Perhaps I was too young to realize until now. Tigerheart gazed softly at his father. “How did you know you wanted to be leader?”
Rowanstar blinked back at him. “I’m not sure I did. But when Blackstar made me deputy, I realized the difference between being a leader and a warrior.” Tigerheart leaned forward, pricking his ears as Rowanstar went on. “A leader’s loyalty and heart lie with his Clan. A warrior’s loyalty and heart lie with his leader.” His gaze seemed to reach deep into Tigerheart, tugging guilt from his belly. He’s telling me to trust him. But how can I when I know better? When the sun is strong, the shadows are strong.
“Do you want to lead this Clan?”
Rowanstar’s blunt question took him by surprise. Had his eyes betrayed his thoughts?
“Wh-when my time comes,” Tigerheart stammered. “But there’s no need to think of that now. You have moons left.”
“I mean now.” Rowanstar’s gaze remained steady. “Leaders have stepped down before and handed leadership to their deputy if it’s what is best for the Clan. I will support you if you wish to take my place. I can see that you are strong and wise, despite your youth. If you are ready to lead, I won’t stand in your way.”
Tigerheart could hardly believe his ears. “Now?” Suddenly the rain seemed to harden, filling his eyes and his nose, pressing in on every side until Tigerheart felt he was drowning. Leader? The responsibility snatched his breath. Every cat in the Clan would look to him for guidance, and rely on him to protect them. And I’d never be able to join Dovewing. His heart seemed to split with pain. His paws ached to run from the camp and keep running until he could escape from the endless rain and responsibility and think only of her and his kits.
He realized Rowanstar was staring at him questioningly. “I—I . . .” He could do no more than stutter.
“You aren’t ready,” Rowanstar answered for him gently. He dipped his head sympathetically. “You are still young and inexperienced. It takes courage to lead.”
“I’m not scared,” Tigerheart meowed quickly. “But there are other things I have to think about—”
Rowanstar hardly seemed to hear him. He seemed caught up in his own thoughts. “But if you don’t wish to lead, then you must learn to follow.” He lifted his chin, as though unaware of the lashing rain. “When I make a decision, you must obey. No arguing. No contradicting. You must follow me without question.”
Tigerheart nodded. What else could he do but agree? If he refused to lead, then he couldn’t undermine his leader. “I can do that,” he promised.
“I hope so,” Rowanstar meowed gravely. With a flick of his tail, he turned away and stalked back to Tawnypelt, who was waiting outside his den. Together they disappeared into its shelter.
Tigerheart crossed the clearing. He wanted to look up at the open sky, where the branches of the encircling trees didn’t touch. He stared at the gloomy clouds, which hid the night sky, and breathed deeply through the rain. He’d had a chance to lead ShadowClan. Should he have taken it?
As doubt swirled around him, paw steps sounded at the camp entrance.
Scorchfur and Snowbird padded into camp. Scorchfur was carrying a rabbit between his jaws. He dropped it at Tigerheart’s paws. “SkyClan left this at the border.”
Snowbird looked at the rain-soaked rabbit. “I guess the argument is settled.”
“You were right to stop the battle.” Scorchfur dipped his head to Tigerheart. “You showed SkyClan that ShadowClan deserves respect without blood being shed.”
Snowbird glanced around the deserted clearing. “Rowanstar would have let us fight,” she breathed in a hushed mew. “Puddleshine would be treating our injuries right now. But we have a rabbit instead of wounds because of you.”
Scorchfur nodded. “If you’d been leader in the first place, ShadowClan wouldn’t be in the state it is now.”
Tigerheart stiffened. “That’s not true. Rowanstar hasn’t caused our suffering. That was Darktail’s fault.”
“If we’d had a strong leader, Darktail would never have been able to take over,” Snowbird argued.
“Rowanstar doesn’t know how to lead,” Scorchfur agreed. “From now on, we will only take our orders from you.”
Tigerheart’s belly tightened. No! He’d just promised his father he wouldn’t undermine him. “You can’t—” But Snowbird was already heading to her den. Scorchfur had picked up the rabbit and was carrying it to the fresh-kill pile.
I’m not leader, but I must lead. Tigerheart’s thoughts spun. Without letting Rowanstar see what I’m doing. How was that possible? He felt trapped, tangled by the need to help his Clanmates while honoring his father. Would he ever be able to escape ShadowClan’s plight? What about Dovewing? What about my Clan? His heart ached while questions twisted his thoughts into knots. What about me ? Am I destined to be alone, separated forever from Dovewing and my kits?