Chapter Twenty
Corvin slept fitfully, habitually stirring awake to make sure Audrey was still beside him. When he finally fell into a deep sleep, he dreamed of her. One minute she was twirling in the sunlight, her hair fanning out in the wind. The next, she was dangling off a cliff as he tried to hold onto her hand. She looked at him with that same stone-cold expression she’d had when she left him, but a shadow of grief swelled in her eyes. It was an unspoken goodbye. Then, she let go.
“No!” He started awake and sat up to find himself in bed alone. Smoke hopped onto his shoulder and butted his head. He absently scratched at the bird’s neck. His headache was gone, but his muscles were stiff with disuse, and his stomach rumbled loudly.
“What time is it?” he asked, glancing around the windowless room.
Smoke tapped his beak on Corvin’s shoulder three times—nearly sunset. He had just enough time to eat and shower before Audrey had to enter the Hall of Echoes. Guilt churned in his gut. He’d failed her so completely. He hadn’t taught her enough about the Legacy, he hadn’t made her attend classes. He’d been so absorbed in fighting his feelings for her that he hadn’t come through as a mentor. She was not prepared for this.
Non-initiates were not even permitted in the lower chambers of the Arcanum. Under normal circumstances, the hall was a privilege and rite of passage, but it was being forced upon Audrey to try and bring her to heel, with a good chance of backfiring. His mother was breaking precedent by ordering it, and he didn’t trust her motives. It had crossed his mind more than once that she had known Audrey would fail her initiation and he would be forced to give up his post. What if this was her way of scaring Audrey off for good?
You don’t know how strong my wildcat is.
He was counting on that strength. Audrey was right—the council wielded too much power, and they played with fates and lives as if they knew the will of the Cosmos themselves. He believed in protecting the Legacy, but perhaps kidnapping, intimidation, and ultimatums wasn’t the best way to recruit wayward souls. Putting Audrey through a magical trial she was in no way ready for was cruel. He had to hope she didn’t come out the other side of the Hall hating the Synod and everything they stood for even more.
The hall was a potent regression magic shared among the Arcana worldwide. Echoes of Zyne souls were channeled there, and the Zyne accessed them to make connections to past lives and chart a soul’s progression through time. But, like all of the deeper mysteries, it was wild magic, not without inherent dangers. The moments that echoed the strongest were often either the last few or the most traumatic. If one’s shielding wasn’t adequate, they could drown in the pain and sorrow of so many horrific memories.
You endured it.
The memory made him shudder. Stepping over the threshold was like walking into a vortex of memories—some your own, most not. It took skill to decipher them and to know what was real and what was ephemeral. All sense of time was lost there, and it could be agonizing. Usually, only initiates of a high degree of magic chose to enter. Even if she was a tenth-degree witch, Audrey was years behind in training.
As he got ready, he tried to convince himself that his mother wouldn’t have assigned Audrey to the hall if she were not somehow confident in her safety. It was obvious she knew how much Audrey had come to mean to him. His happiness had never been her priority—the Legacy, her duty, and her agenda came first—but he had to believe she would not do anything as unforgiveable as irreparably damaging the woman he loved.
He loved Audrey.
He’d been devastated by her betrayal, cursing himself for twelve kinds of idiocy and wrestling with his inadequacy and failure. And then she had come to him last night, confided in him. He’d barely been able to decipher his anguish from hers, but her remorse was very real and very strong. Once he’d felt that, how could he not forgive her?
She’d trusted him at last, given him her confidence. Now, he finally understood the reason for her fight. She wasn’t just rebellious and obstinate—she had a noble cause. That more than anything had given him hope that there was a future for them. Audrey hadn’t been damaged by her past; she had been forged by it. Her ideals. Her independence. Her strength. When she’d finally taken off her armor and let him hold her, he’d fallen hopelessly, irrevocably in love with her.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he nearly shoved Cian down the marble stairway.
“Sorry. So sorry, Cian,” he said, bowing his head to his old teacher. “I should be paying more attention.”
Cian inclined his head. “Nothing to be sorry for. I’m sure you have much on your mind. Your mother sent me to find you. They are waiting.” He motioned for Corvin to lead the way, then fell into step beside him.
“Thank you. How is Audrey?”
“She has a very strong will.”
Corvin cracked a smile. That was putting it mildly. “Tell me truthfully, do you think she can handle this?”
Cian folded his hands into the long sleeves of his robe as they passed the first set of giant copper doors into the main antechamber. Altars lined the walls of the dark room, and incense thickened the air. Candlelight flickered over the murals depicting ancient magical battles. His old teacher’s face was grave. “What many do not understand is that the Hall of Echoes is empty. It contains only what we carry into it. Not only our mortal thoughts and feelings, but the marks of Fate upon our soul.”
The doors to the main chamber opened as they approached. Corvin paused a few feet away and turned to Cian. “But I have not prepared her for this, taught her enough about the celestial journey—”
“The only thing required is that the seeker be willing to face their own truth. That cannot be taught.” Cian sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Have faith in her. That is all you can do now.”
Though he wasn’t completely comforted, he nodded and followed Cian into the thirty-foot-high chamber of polished black granite that held the beating heart of the Arcanum. Celestial maps inlaid with precious metals and crystals climbed across the walls, ceiling, and floor. The raised dais in the center shimmered with ethereal light. The walls of the chamber were lined with torches and several more sets of copper doors, which were heavily spelled and warded to protect some of the most dangerous elemental mysteries in existence.
But the tingling sensation in Corvin’s stomach had nothing to do with the power licking at him with every step. As they approached one of those sets of doors, where his mother, Roderic, and the others were standing, his eyes latched onto Audrey.
She stood there, calm and somber, dressed in the formal white robes of a novice. In the torchlight, her hair was burnished gold, her skin softly glowing. Her eyes sparkled like the sea at midday. She was the most bewitching thing he’d ever seen.
Yours, the Fates seemed to whisper on a passing current of air.
Confusion crinkled Audrey’s brow as he strode toward her, instinct burning through his muscles. Before she could open her mouth to protest, he swept her into his arms and sealed her lips in a charged kiss. She blinked at him in a daze when he pulled back, her eyes wide and searching. He kissed her again, this time putting everything into it he couldn’t say in words. She gasped as he let his power loose, stroking down her body with heat and desire, and finally wrapping her in a blanket of safety, security… and love.
Tears glittered in the corners of her eyes.
Satisfied his message had been received, he laced their fingers together and turned to face the others. Cian and Roderic wore matching smiles, while his mother studied them with her usual stern expression of ceremony. He squeezed Audrey’s fingers in reassurance before he let go so she could kneel and receive the traditional blessing.
His mother anointed Audrey’s brow with oils of agrimony and angelica for protection on her journey. She placed her hands on Audrey’s shoulders and whispered a prayer for clarity, wisdom, and the safe passage and return of her soul. With her eyes closed, Audrey tilted her head back to balance the piece of amber his mother placed on her forehead.
Magic tingled up his spine, charging the air around them until the hairs on his forearms stood on end. His tie to the Conduit strengthened, anchoring him to this place, where he’d been born and spent his whole life, and to the souls surrounding him—people he loved—like invisible tethers.
Power filled his mother’s voice as she finished her spell. “As I have willed it, so let it be done.”
Patricia removed the stone, and Audrey opened her eyes and immediately looked to him, a flash of uncertainty showing behind her calm façade. He filled his eyes with silent reassurance that she was safe. He helped Audrey to her feet and kissed her on both cheeks in formal blessing, then took her hand as Cian and Roderic pulled the giant doors open.
Absolute darkness yawned on the other side until they removed the closest torches and dipped them just inside the doorway. Two rows of torches jumped to life, and the darkness pulled back like tendrils of smoke being sucked into a vacuum, condensing into the shape of another doorway at the far end of the hall. The threshold between the outer chamber and the hall glowed with pulsing runes as the passage between them fused. The ground beneath their feet shook, and an unearthly wind swept through the chamber, making the torches sputter.
Audrey gasped beside him, and he squeezed her limp fingers. He did not want to let go. Cian had said the only thing to fear in the hall was what you took with you. He knew Audrey had seen and experienced many horrors she had yet to share with him—and that was only from this one life. He wished he could protect her from what she was about to experience.
Have faith in her.
He did. Audrey was strong. A survivor. But no one ever came out of the Hall of Echoes unchanged. Would the experience turn her toward or away from the Zyne path? He hoped his mother knew the answer. There were so many deep and wondrous mysteries beyond what Audrey had been exposed to so far. He wanted to share them with her, to witness her discovery of who she was. If she would walk down that path with him, he would spend the rest of their life together proving she had made the right choice.
With a final kiss to her temple, and a silent prayer to the Cosmos, he let her go.
***
Audrey had thought she’d had her eyes opened to a new world when she arrived at the Arcanum, but the moment she’d entered the underground archives of the fortress, she’d felt like Dorothy waking up in Oz. She’d stepped out of the black and grey world and into bright Technicolor. Magic thrummed from the earth, calling to her like a siren’s song. It was akin to the power inside her, but not the same. It was more like the power that ate Zyne magic for breakfast. Power that could eat the world for breakfast. Or maybe the power that had created the world? Standing in front of the doorway to the Hall of Echoes, she felt like a speck of dust.
She could never go back to her old life.
Cian’s words from that morning echoed in her mind. Whatever happens, do not lose yourself. He’d talked a lot about grounding. Finding her center. Of all the things they’d practiced in their meditation classes, grounding had been the hardest for her. She didn’t have roots of her own. She’d never known anything solid. She never stayed in one place. She could barely keep her feet planted when sparring. It was her nature to bounce around.
She reached for where her mother’s necklace usually hung and found bare skin. Do not lose yourself. Good advice if you knew who you were, but she was afraid she didn’t.
I guess we’ll find out. She held her breath and took a step into the unknown.
She’d expected to feel different on the other side, but there was only a slight tingle as she crossed the glowing threshold, and a pop in her ears, as if the pressure had dropped. She turned to look back, but there was no longer a doorway. No audience. No Corvin. Just an endless hallway. Panic wanted to rise up, but she kept a tight leash on it. She took a deep breath and several quick strides toward the door at the opposite end of the hall.
As she crossed between them, the first two torches went out.
A tsunami of energy slammed into her and shoved its way through every cell in her body. Audrey cried out as it tried to rip her consciousness away with it. She gritted her teeth and reinforced her mental shielding. Another wave made her actually wish that she could pass out and not feel anything, but she focused on the pain, letting it ground her in her body while the pressure of the magic built, pounding away at her psyche.
She wasn’t sure when she’d decided to crawl, but she found herself on her hands and knees, trying to breathe without puking. She sat back on her heels, and the world slowly righted itself. The pressure eased. She took another moment to get her bearings.
Everything behind her had dissolved into absolute black. It was like kneeling at the very edge of the world. Instinct made her dive forward, and with that came another mental thrashing.
She curled onto her side, and the pain became kicks to her stomach and back.
She tasted blood, and her ears were ringing. The blows came faster and harder, and she cried out in a voice she didn’t recognize as people yelled in a language she didn’t understand. A kick landed on her head, but instead of unconscious, she found herself underwater. Bursts of light and loud claps of thunder came from all directions. She bobbed above the surface to catch a glimpse of an old-fashioned ship being torn apart by canon fire. She took a breath to scream, but water filled her lungs instead.
This is not me. It’s not real.
She opened her eyes to see the smooth black marble floor of the hall at eye level. Her chest heaved, convulsing uncontrollably with the memory of water as she sucked in normal air. Tears leaked out of her eyes in relief.
Those were not her memories.
Cian had said she would experience visions and memories from past lives. She’d imagined some sort of peyote-induced vision quest where she “spoke to the ancestors.” She had not taken him literally enough.
She had not taken any of this seriously enough. For the first time, she understood what Corvin meant when he talked about the Legacy. It was so much bigger than one person. It was eons. Lifetimes. And like it or not, she was a part of it. The didn’t understand it—but she didn’t have to to realize she’d made an error in not respecting it.
Audrey sat up, shivering, and stared into the encroaching abyss. If she looked hard, she could see it moving ever so slowly closer, eating away at her safe ground. What would happen if she just sat there? Would it swallow her up too?
She glanced at the three torches between her and the door, then slowly climbed to her feet. She didn’t want this to take any longer than necessary.
She took a deep breath and ran as hard as she could for the door. Two sets of torches went out as she crossed them. And then her shields were crushed under fifty tons of pressure as a barrage of images and feelings assaulted her in fast reeling time.
She fell flat on her face, screaming as her neurons overloaded. Most of it was flashes of color, echoes of pain, jerks of emotion pulling at her insides like fishhooks. Voices. She tumbled through it, end over end, helpless.
She was nine years old, watching Jack’s dead body being wheeled away by the paramedics while a lady in a trench coat tried to ask her questions. Thirteen, shivering on a doorstep in the rain. Sixteen, her first day in juvie, when they’d broken her jaw, and she’d been so hungry, but she couldn’t eat. Turner was yelling at her as he whipped her with his belt. “You’re just a worthless piece of garbage! Nobody wants you!”
It felt like hours later when she finally came back to herself. She was lying on the floor in a fetal position, facing the end of the hall. Her hands and feet were blocks of ice, and her head still felt as if it was going to spontaneously combust. Tracks of tears had dried in a line across her cheeks and nose and pooled on the floor, along with the blood from her busted lip. She checked with her tongue that her teeth were still in their sockets, then rolled to stare at the last torch. Her thoughts came in slow, globular forms as the flames danced in her double vision.
Do not lose yourself.
She squeezed her eyes shut as fresh tears leaked out. But who was she? She was nobody. A bottom feeder. Unwanted. Trash. She could fade into the black right now, and no one would care. The world would go on exactly as it had before.
No, that’s not true.
She wasn’t just a nobody. She was special. She was Zyne. She was here, enduring this, because she was strong enough to pass this test.
She had magic, and smarts, and…
Corvin.
Her eyes flashed open, and now she saw the flames of desire dancing in his gaze, his bright, unguarded smile. She could smell his soap and feel the tickle of a feather on her skin. Her next breath came easier. And the next after that.
She rolled to her knees and crawled toward the door. Beyond that door, he was waiting for her. He would always be there, because…
He loves me.
She crawled past the last torches, and they guttered out.
Darkness swallowed her.
She saw Jack’s worried face as a woman spoke to her, her low voice hoarse with panic.
Audrey clung to her mother, wrapping her hand around the moonstone around her neck.
Her mother pulled away, passing her over to Jack. Her face was contorted with sorrow as streams of tears poured from her eyes.
Audrey held onto the necklace and began to cry.
Her mother pulled the necklace over her head and put it over Audrey’s.
Jack lifted her up into the cab of the truck.
Her mother reached out and placed a hand on Audrey’s chest. A glow of pink light filled the cab for a moment, and she felt a swell of warm energy envelop her.
Audrey gripped her mother’s arm like a lifeline, screaming.
The last she saw of her mother was her hand twisting free of her grasp.
“Audrey!” Corvin shouted.
Gurgling like she’d woken up underwater, she pulled herself out of the nightmare and blinked her eyes open to find him holding her in his lap. They were on the floor in the marble chamber outside the Hall of Echoes. Patricia, Roderic, and Cian huddled over his shoulder.
She reached up to cup Corvin’s cheek, and he pulled her into his chest. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Is it over?”
He rocked her in his lap. “It’s over. Let’s get you to the healers.”
She wrapped her hands around his neck as he lifted her to her feet, then swept her into his arms. She could barely hold her head up, and it was much more comfortable tucked into Corvin’s neck anyway. “No, Corvin, just take me home.”