Jeremy
“Think of this like a double date. It’s been a while since we all went out together.”
Kevin looked like he thought I might have finally cracked. I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before climbing out of the car. “Then think of it as our last meal?”
I was teasing, but his expression said he was detailing ways to kill me just to get me to stop making badly timed jokes. One day we’d laugh at this—I just hoped it wasn’t sitting in a prison room with me wearing a jumpsuit.
“I was going to take you out this weekend for a nice dinner.” I put a little bit of a singsong quality in my voice like you’d talk to a reluctant child. He didn’t appreciate that either, but at least he started to get out of the car.
“I want dessert. First.”
Trying not to laugh, I pulled him into my arms. Ignoring everything around us, I focused on him. “If that’s what you want, then you deserve it. You didn’t panic. You were calm and figured out a way to leave the house and get help. Then you came to find me, so we could discuss it together. I’m very proud of you.”
Talking to the cops should be the first thing someone thought to do in an emergency, but we weren’t exactly typical. After the threats she’d made, I knew why he’d panicked at the sight of a cop at the door. After all that had happened, I still couldn’t believe she’d actually done it.
“I should have been able to fix this or made a better decision. But what if he’d started asking about us? I just—”
I jumped right in to stop that train of thought. “No, we’re not doing that. You made the right choice for you in that moment. Now we’re going to take it from here together. We will figure this out. We’ll explain that they’re homophobic, and they wanted to keep us under their thumbs doing things their way.” It wouldn’t have been lying anyway.
“We don’t have to talk about the more intimate parts of our relationship. We can try to handle everything simply, but if it gets messy, then we’ll get a lawyer. We have the money for one, and there might even be programs through the college.”
“Or other people who talk to the doc.” Bryan came around the car and looked a little guilty. “Not that I’m saying there is one or breaking confidentiality, but if necessary, maybe a call to Dr. Sheppard to see if he knew anyone interesting who’s a lawyer would be a good idea.”
“Hey, Dr. Sheppard might have a contact in the police department or know how we can figure out what to do. Even if he just lets us talk it through and figure out how we feel, it might be helpful. What do you think? Should I call him tomorrow morning?” Calling Dr. Sheppard was starting to sound like a good idea. He was the only real adult I could think of who might actually know what to do.
Kevin was clearly on the fence, but the idea of someone stepping in to help seemed to appeal to him as well. “We’re probably not the first people he’s had to talk to the cops or something about.”
Bryan coughed oddly, trying to cover up his immediate answer. “No.” Then cleared his voice and tried something more subtle. “I’m sure he’s seen it all, and a situation like this wouldn’t surprise him.”
“See?” I gave Kevin another kiss, quick and light, before stepping away. “Come on, let’s go find you dessert.”
He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand. He wasn’t relaxed or happy, but I was going to count it as a victory. “They had that chocolate lava cake on the commercial, didn’t they?”
“Maybe, I’m not sure.” As we walked around the building—we might have parked toward the very back of the lot near the employees—I kept talking about what the dessert options could be. If he wanted a sugar rush, then that’s what I was going to get for him. Heading into the chain restaurant, I wished we’d picked somewhere nicer to go, but reasonable was probably better.
None of us were really dressed for fancy, and since we might end up needing a good lawyer, spending our money on a good steak seemed stupid. This would do, but once everything was figured out, I was going to take him on a real date. It’d been too long since we’d gone out and done something like that.
White tablecloths, snobby waiters…the whole nine yards.
We greeted the hostess and Maddox asked for a table in the back. It was probably a good idea. We weren’t trying to hide, because that would look bad if I was actually arrested, but we needed to be able to talk. And accidentally getting recognized by an off-duty cop who was coming in for dinner would be a bad thing.
Sitting down with our menus and the promise that our server would be with us in a moment, we started browsing around the food and relaxing. Crammed into the small booth, the fact that Kevin could still touch me and have that contact seemed to help him calm down even more.
It wasn’t long before the server came over and introduced herself. We ordered our drinks and she said she would come back in a few minutes to check on us since we were having a hard time deciding on dinner.
“But Kevin gets to.” Bryan frowned, and I thought I could see some of their dynamics peeking out. “I got scared by the cop too.”
“Not enough to have the brownie first. You probably had cereal for lunch again since I wasn’t there, and you need a vegetable. Colored marshmallows don’t count.” Maddox gave him a stern look that had Bryan squirming in his seat a little. “If you pick out something healthy, then we’ll see about dessert. But not if you drive me crazy about it.”
I could see the words on Bryan’s lips, but he held them in.
Most of the time Maddox was Daddy when they were alone, especially when Maddox was going off on something like vegetables. Occasionally, it would pop out when we were hanging out together. It wasn’t like they were hiding it from us, and I thought it was because he was more comfortable with us now. When we’d talked about it with Dr. Sheppard, he’d said that we should take our cues from Bryan, and if he wanted to ignore any little slips like that, then we should.
It was just hard.
I could see that he wanted to say something like, “Yes, Daddy,” but he was trying not to do it while we were here. The obnoxious part of me, who couldn’t seem to butt out, wanted to explain that we would be okay with it and that he should say whatever would make him happy. But I was going to do my best not to drive the guy nuts.
After all he’d done for Kevin, Bryan deserved a break.
Kevin didn’t seem to have the same thought process. He opened his mouth and the smile on his face said it was going to be bad. He had a terrible habit of treating them too much like family. The dysfunctional TV sitcom kind. Reaching out, I put my hand over his mouth and leaned in. “If you want that dessert, do not drive him crazy.”
I got a disgruntled look, but he nodded as I took my hand away. “Spoilsport.”
“If he throws something at you in this restaurant, we’re going to get tossed out and you won’t get your dessert.” They would also call the cops, which would open up a-whole-nother can of worms.
Maddox was trying not to laugh and failing miserably, and Bryan went back to studying the menu, clearly trying not to blush. He wasn’t doing a very good job, but the rest of us were going to give him a minute. Even if I had to spend the entire meal with my hand over Kevin’s mouth.
Kevin leaned in, and in a stage whisper, couldn’t resist poking at Bryan one more time. “But they’re so cute.”
“But they’re also entitled to privacy.” I shouldn’t have to point that out. But they really were like family so I kind of understood it.
He gave me a dramatic sigh but winked at Bryan who blushed again before finding his gumption, grumbling at Kevin. “You’re not going to get dessert first if you keep teasing me.”
Kevin turned his head and batted his eyelashes at me. “He wouldn’t break a promise.”
I poked Kevin in the ribs, grinning as he squirmed and tried not to make a scene. “He also will find a creative way to get back at you.”
“You’re supposed to be nice to me. I was traumatized.” He gave me a pathetic look that made me want to laugh.
“No, that cop was traumatized. You sent him over to that guy who answers the door without pants on.” Kevin looked confused, so I kept going. “Remember when we had to go give him his mail?”
Kevin’s eyes got wide. “Oh, I forgot about that. I just remembered getting his mail one time. It was the first thing that came to my mind.”
I wasn’t surprised he’d remembered it. I was never going to forget it. “You’ve probably scarred that cop for life.”
Kevin straightened up like he had a brilliant idea. “Hey, maybe they’ll be so busy with what’s probably going to be an indecent exposure case that they’ll forget about us.”
“If he’s still hanging out of those boxers like he was last time, you’re probably right.”
Kevin started laughing. “If the cop’s gay, he might get away with it. Naked-mail-guy was weird but not ugly.”
All I could remember was his boxers and a southern drawl. “I don’t exactly remember his face, to be honest.”
Bryan’s water sprayed across the table as he choked and coughed, fighting for air. Maddox looked concerned, but as Bryan’s color went from ripe tomato to something more normal, he relaxed. Gasping out, Bryan shook his head. “You two are insane.”
“Takes one to know one.” Kevin stuck out his tongue. We were sooo going to get thrown out. The adrenaline rush was probably fading, and the teasing was probably healthy for him, but I just hoped we didn’t drive anyone crazy.
Giving both of them a firm look, I shook my head. “What are you two, five?”
Bryan smirked and grinned. “Younger than that, depending on the situation, thank you very much.”
It was Kevin’s turn to spray his drink all over the table. Soda was harder to clean up. “You’re getting water next time we go out with them. This is messy.”
Maddox was trying not to laugh, clearly attempting to look like the sane person among the crazies. I tossed him one of the napkins the server had left on the table. “Some help here, please?”
She chose that moment to walk back over to the table.
Great.
“Are you gentleman ready to order?” Her eyes widened at the mess, but she didn’t mention it specifically, just a subtle little comment. Her brain was probably going crazy trying to figure out what the hell we’d done. “I’ll bring you guys some more napkins in a minute.”
There was a bit more negotiating, but eventually, we got everything ordered. She thought we were nuts when Kevin started explaining he wanted dessert first, but I think she just chalked it up to strange college kids, because it got him an understanding nod. With the way we were acting, she probably thought we were high. Lovely, another chance for the cops to be called.
How we made it that long without being arrested, I’ll never know.
Attempting to keep things light and Kevin distracted, I tried to find another topic as the server left. “Did you guys get everything worked out with Michelle?”
Kevin leaned in, excitedly. “Hey, what’d she say about the cruise?”
“She’s going next week with a couple of her friends. They found a really good last-minute deal, and they managed to get the week off. We’ve gotten probably a dozen phone calls about what she should take and giving us emergency instructions.”
“You’d think I was still living at home and going to be by myself for the first time.” Bryan shook his head, smiling. “She even started going over how to call the neighbors if I needed help.”
“She’s never been the one to leave.” Maddox leaned back in the booth and reached for his water. “She’s ridiculously excited. And from the way she’s talking about it, I think it sounds like fun.”
“We haven’t been on one since we were kids. I remembered it was great, though. But my only mental images are of food and the playroom, so that’s probably not a good way to judge.” Shrugging, I tried to think back. We’d been left with babysitters mostly, so I didn’t remember having family time on the ship, but I could picture the ocean and some guy carving swans out of ice on the main deck.
Kevin’s face was scrunched up as he tried to remember, but he seemed to be having a hard time. I leaned in and gave him a quick peck. “You were really little.”
“I can’t remember anything specific, just lectures about us not being good enough in the dining room or something.” He shrugged.
“So you guys have had bad table manners for a long time?” Maddox said dryly, gesturing to the pile of wet napkins.
“Hey,” Kevin looked at him, his brows knitting together as he frowned and gestured toward Bryan with the wrapper of his straw. “It was his fault.”
The constant movement of Kevin’s hands as he played with the straw, his drink, and the napkins showed how worried he still was, even though he was outwardly much calmer than he’d been when I’d first walked out of the coffee shop.
When Bryan walked into the building, we’d been surprised to see him, but the deer-in-the-headlights expression put both of us on edge right away. We’d been changing some of the layouts on Maddox’s website and talking about putting some graphics together to give it a more professional look. He’d walked straight over to Maddox, completely ignoring the barista who’d called out a greeting and crouched down by Maddox’s chair.
All I’d initially gotten was that the cops had shown up at our door, and Kevin might be having a panic attack in the car. Seeing Kevin’s pale face, startled and going into shock, brought back the horrible images of that day. Kevin didn’t seem to be connecting the two events, but I’d flashed right back to that moment. I could almost hear his scream echoing in my head.
I must have lost track of the conversation, because Kevin’s hand reached out to grab mine and he squeezed it tightly, giving me an understanding look. “Does that sound okay to you?”
“Sorry, got distracted there for a minute. What did I miss?”
Bryan spoke up, probably going through the explanations for a second time. “Mom was talking about us taking a long weekend around the fourth to go up to the house. She talked about doing a barbecue and wanted to see if we were okay with her inviting some of the neighbors.”
“Sure, sounds perfect. I have a couple of things planned but nothing that week, so it should be good.” Talking about mundane things while the police could be looking for us was probably the wrong way to handle the situation, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.
Staying calm and confident for Kevin was all I could think of. He was the most important thing. I just wished our parents could understand. I’d never hurt him. They should have been able to see that. Calling the police on us showed they wouldn’t ever be able to understand.
It had to be them. I couldn’t think of anyone else who would do something like that. And the list of people who knew Kevin and I were related was really small. Bryan and Maddox were too honest and too nice, and the therapists had that medical confidentiality stuff which kept them from calling the cops unless I was actually hurting him, or we were going to hurt ourselves. Dr. Sheppard knew us better than that. And at the very least, Bryan would have probably picked up gossip around the office that would have given us a clue something was wrong.
No, it had to be them.
As we started talking about plans for the drive up and how many cars to take, the server came back with our food. Bryan had settled on a spicy black bean burger with sweet potato fries, calling that enough vegetables to get him dessert for a week. Maddox had gone with a stir fry that looked pretty good. Kevin and I were boring and totally unhealthy, ordering oversized burgers and regular fries.
Bryan gave our food longing looks but declared his burger, “Not too bad.”
True to his word, Kevin dug into the cake he’d ordered, but he also went back and forth taking bites of the burger and fries, so it probably wasn’t that bad. As we ate, we finalized the plans even though we were still weeks away and talked about other stuff they wanted to do.
“My mother has called twice this week wanting to see when I’m coming to visit. She’s got some kind of party planned, and I think she’s trying to get me to make an appearance.” Maddox’s face tightened up at the mention of his family.
They weren’t as crazy as ours, but they were right up there, so I could understand his frustration. Kevin gave him a confused look, trying to piece things together. “Are you talking with your dad then?”
Maddox snorted and shook his head. “Nope. He’s never home when she calls. No surprise there. And she doesn’t mention him at all. I’m not sure what she’s smoking, but I’m not going back when there’s a really good chance he’s going to lose it again.”
“Dinner with them was interesting enough when he had an audience. I’m not sure we need to see him when there’s nothing to stop him from going postal.” Bryan glanced over at Maddox, concerned at how he was taking the comments.
“No, you’re right. He’s not physically abusive, but verbally, it’s another story.” Maddox leaned over and gave Bryan a kiss before looking at us. “Dr. Sheppard’s been working me in once in a while, so I can understand my parents better.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” Kevin gave them an approving smile. “Having someone to talk to makes a big difference when shit goes wrong. You two have each other, and I have Jeremy, but sometimes having that outside person who can tell you objectively if you’re overreacting or if you’re not seeing it clearly is important.”
“You’re right. It’s been good. And having that authority figure who can tell you it’s okay to set boundaries and protect yourself makes all the difference.” Maddox looked over at Bryan and reached under the table to squeeze his hand. “I’m feeling better about it all and with the business doing so well, if they refuse to pay for school or things keep deteriorating, we’ll be fine. And that takes a load off.”
“Absolutely. And I think with the changes to the website and the advertising you were talking about, your business is only going to continue to grow.” Maddox had a good head for business, and it was easy to see how successful he was going to be.
“He just needs to figure out how to manage it, so it doesn’t get overwhelming when school’s in session.” Bryan gave Maddox a long, serious look before glancing back over at us. It was clear they’d had the discussion more than once. “He’s not going to do summer classes or try to push through faster, but he was crazy busy that last two months of the spring semester.”
“He is right here and will balance things out better.” Maddox grinned and seemed to poke Bryan because Bryan barked out a laugh and twisted in the seat.
“Stop that. Eat your dinner so I can have dessert.”
Laughing, Maddox nodded. “Of course, how could I forget?”
Hearing their talk about dessert had Kevin looking longingly at his empty plate; the only remains of the cake were some smears of chocolate. “The cheesecake looked good. Why don’t you get a piece of that one?”
He gave me a pathetically overacted puppy dog look. If anyone wanted cheesecake, it wasn’t me. “I should get it, huh?”
“Yup. You might even need two pieces. You’re clearly still hungry.”
“Clearly.” I glanced down at my burger, half-eaten with the fries going cold. I was still more worried than anything, but he was right—the picture had looked good.
“Yup.” He grinned, sensing his victory.
He was probably going to bounce off the walls or go into a sugar coma, but all I wanted to do was to keep the smile on his face. If it took too many desserts to keep it there, I’d deal with it. Real life was going to come crashing back sooner or later.