Dammit. What in the hell did I just do? Anna’s staring at me as if I told her I was an axe-wielding murderer. Her lips are slightly parted and she studies me with those doe eyes. I am obviously moving in too fast for her.
But after all the shit that just went down, all the chaos and bloodshed, I’ve realized something tonight. I would do anything for this girl.
I have never thought that about any person in my entire life. I was raised to believe that a man kept his eye on himself and his house second. He protected his interests and kept anything that could break him at bay. It was like I was telling Anna minutes ago. My dad wasn’t even present in my life until I proved I was of some value to him. That’s not to say that he wasn’t a good father or that he did anything wrong. It was how he was raised and how he saw all the other men around him do it too.
However, I know that’s wrong now. How he treated my mama, as if she didn’t exist, is beyond me. I was always softer when she died because I was the one in complete control of my sister’s destiny, and I worked hard to make sure she got everything that she wanted with what little I could give her. That to me was love—something I could never put into words. And I stupidly thought that what my dad was doing for my mama was the same. He put food on the table and made sure there was money for clothes for school. He came home every once in a while and checked in on us too.
Now, I see there’s a difference in caring for someone and feeling for someone. Kissing Anna, her wet body leaning into my bare chest and her warm face pressed into my skin, was a revelation. I love Anna. I love her differently than I do my sister or my mama. I love her in a way that is completely separate from the motorcycle in the back of the van I always call my ‘baby.’ I love her beyond compare of the club.
And the question I asked her, about her having a life with me, is real. I want to know—no, I need to know if she feels the same way as I do. Her silence is writing pages of that answer, penning down some doom and gloom I’m not ready to hear. She may not be there yet, especially after watching me kill those bikers on the road and messing up her old boyfriend, but I would wait for those words for a million years.
When she speaks, she looks down at her fingers which twist in knots in her hands. Softly, she clears her throat and says, “Mack… what are you asking me?”
I turn my body so that I’m staring her down, towering over her. “I’m asking if you could be with a guy like me. And I’m not talking just for a few weeks while we track down your ex and make sure you’re out of the woods with this shit. I am talking about waking up every morning next to me and maybe even getting married. Could you do that with a guy like me?”
“A guy like you or you, yourself?”
“Me. I’m asking if you love me.”
More stunned silence. This time, from both of us. Even in my mind, saying the ‘L’ word is like climbing Mount Everest. Every part of my body is resisting those emotions. My mind fights back, wanting to take it back as quick as it left my mouth. I can’t stand to see her just staring at me like this—like a two-headed dragon.
“Anna,” I say, but she’s already there. Her finger presses to my lips as she leans herself in towards me. I can taste her sweet breath on my prickled skin, the pull of her body to mine is impossible to resist.
She whispers as her lips touch mine. “Mack, I love you. I don’t know when it happened, but I love you. But there’s…”
“Riley.” I finish her sentence with such certainty that she pulls back. Her eyes fall with the heavy look of shame. He’s the last person either of us want to bring up right now, but his name weighs heavy on us, and it has since we first kissed back in my office. He’s the reason we’re together and the reason why we can’t be together.
I ask the obvious question first. “Do you still have feelings for him?”
“It’s hard not to, Mack. We were together for so long, and when we broke it off, it wasn’t easy. He made me feel as if I was nothing without him when we were dating. The only way I could be a real person is if he protected me and told me what I needed to do. And then, when I broke it off with him, I felt like nothing because he came at me and attacked everything I cared about. He was making that prophecy come true.”
“But you know that isn’t true, Anna. You are something. You are something to me. I want you to understand that. What do I need to do?”
“I know it’s hard to understand, Mack, but it’s not about you. It’s all me. I’m scared that this is going to happen again. Riley was perfect when we started dating. He was the one person who accepted me as I was, even with all my quirks. And then he changed so quickly that I didn’t have time to realize that it wasn’t supposed to be like that. I can’t let that happen again…”
In my mind, I know she’s not comparing me to Riley or even saying that I would be like him, but it’s hard to avoid those thoughts. She’s scared. That’s easy to see. I can’t blame her. She’s got a psycho ex willing to do and risk just about anything to make sure he gets his revenge on her. And then, she’s got me. We started out as business partners and over the last forty-eight hours, we’ve evolved into something way more serious when we couldn’t fight those feelings anymore. What is she supposed to trust or believe? How can I make her see?
I take her hand again, placing it up against my heart, hoping she can feel what I feel. “Anna, I get it. So, I’m going to make you a deal. Give me a chance. Just let me try to do this right for once. We don’t have to talk about futures anymore or even say that ‘L’ word again if you don’t want to. In return, I’ll give you all the time and space you need to figure this shit out, because I promise you that you’re worth riding and fighting for.”
A smile escapes those red lips with the hint of lipstick still smeared on them. She bats her eyelashes as those fair cheeks blush and bloom pink as spring flowers. I hold out my hand to her, making it official. “You gotta shake on it,” I say as I laugh, trying to lighten the stiff mood.
“This means I can break this promise though if things go south. You gotta let me have an out clause that means you won’t come track me down with your club and all the ammo in the back of that van. I don’t know if I can convince another motorcycle club president to save me again.” Anna takes my hand and pulls me closer to her. I slide to the center of the couch to scoop her back on my lap. Our lips meet in the middle, softly sliding across the other.
She only pulls away when she hears the unmistakable bang. And then another. “Mack! It’s Zeke! You didn’t call so I…”
“Dammit,” I mutter, remembering my promise to contact him before five p.m. that we were at least safe and on our way to the cabin. I can’t even guess what time it is now with the rain still battering the skies outside. I look down for Anna, but she’s already gone collecting her wet clothes from the entranceway. She looks back at me with an annoyed, awkward look as she slips into one of the cabin’s bedrooms just off the living room hallway.
I grab my pants from the same pile, throwing them on as I call back, “Give me a minute, Zeke. I’m coming.”
“What the fuck happened out there, Mack? The police scanners were talking about 5 dead riders out in the rain. Looks as if it was a hit and run and they’re saying it’s a big vehicle. They found white paint on a roadside too, and by the look of the cargo van, I can put the clues together faster than they can.” He pushes past me and into the living room. I’m instantly aware that the smell of sex that is unavoidable where we stand. I shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s more that I’m pissed I’m giving Anna’s secret away.
I quickly debrief Zeke on the situation with the cyclists and the gunshots fired. I tell him about the carnage the van left behind and the broken tire the detectives will probably find when the rain stops. “We gotta ditch the van,” I say. “It’s like you said, they’ll know to look for a white, large vehicle that is driving on a spare or dented rim. How long do you think it’s going to take them to look back on the highway cameras from shots of the license plate? Can we call in a favor with the ID guy to get us a new tag for a van or should we sink it?”
“We’ll sink it,” Zeke answers quickly. He takes a seat in one of the recliners, rubbing his hands on the velvety microfiber. “But that’s not the only reason why I am here. We can handle the van tonight while they struggle with the elements. What I wanted you to know is that we found Riley.”
“What?” I ask, my voice dropping at least an octave. “How the hell did you manage to find him? I thought we’ve been looking for weeks now with not even a lead and now we managed to trace him?”
“It was Anna’s plan. We stationed guys in beater cars outside the convention, and they followed anyone that fit Anna’s description. Vernon found him over on the east side of the Watertown neighborhood living in some rundown mansion he managed to squat himself and the rest of his club in. We’ve been doing intel on the place all night.”
“What’s the protection like?” I ask as I sit across from him back on the couch. He’s managed to get my full attention now.
“That’s the thing. We think that those five guys you managed to take out were probably some of his best riders or enforcers. We’ve had several guys out there all night, and they’ve seen lots of panic. Guys running in and out, no one stationed at the front or back entrance, no lights or security systems anywhere. We even sent some of our girls in to see if they could slip in undetected. They all came back reporting the same thing—the place is falling apart.”
“So what are you saying?”
Anna appears in the hallway wearing an oversized flannel shirt and nothing else. “He’s saying that we have to go now and get Riley, right?” Her eyes glow wide and large as they dart between the two of us.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Zeke replies without looking at her. “If we’re going to make our move on him, it’s going to be tonight, and she’s going to have to come with us.”
“No,” I say firmly. “I did this already today, and I am not going to put her at risk again. She’s not going to be bait for that madman. It’s too dangerous. We’ll go, and Anna will stay behind.” I can barely stand to look at her because I’ll know what I’ll see—resistance. She wants to take down Riley as much, if not more, than I do, but the stakes are higher for her. We both know what he’s capable of doing to get his hands on her.
She walks towards me, ignoring Zeke’s presence all together. “What did I tell you earlier, Mack? I’m not leaving you ever again. And you’re not leaving me behind either. We’re in this together—me and you. You’re just going to have to do your best to keep me out of trouble.”
“That’s easier said than done, Anna. I’m not going to be able to protect you when it’s us walking into their den. Sure, they say it’s unguarded, but we don’t know what kind of stash they’ve got built up in there or how many guys are actually members of the Knights now. Let’s just give it a day to tally things up.”
“No, Mack,” Zeke interrupts. “Anna is right. If we’re going to do this, it has to be tonight, and it has to be now. Sending the girls in was one thing, but they’re going to catch on that we’re scouting them and it’s going to go downhill from there. I already talked it over with the rest of the Dragon’s council and they agree. We’ve got to leave.”
Anna walks back towards the bedroom she exited from, her hand held up as if we’re going to disappear without her. “Let me grab my pants from the dryer.” She turns and runs, leaving Zeke and I alone.
“I’m not going to risk her life, Zeke. You don’t understand.”
“You don’t think I see it? The whole club saw it weeks ago when you first brought her in. She’s not just some side piece for you. We get that. And the club is going to treat her like she’s one of us, especially after today. No one, especially not me, wants to put her in danger. But if she could get us one step closer to Riley where we could get a clean shot and end this all today, wouldn’t that be worth it?”
He has me stunned. Have I been this blind that my damn club saw me falling for this girl before I did? And more importantly, am I being selfish by not taking into consideration the rewards of taking down the one man compromising my club’s territory and place of power?
More focused than ever, I stand up and walk quickly towards the window. Just outside, I spy Zeke’s car with its engine still running. Anna’s voice floats over my thoughts. “Are you ready to go, Mack?”
“Let’s do this.”