CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Death was a cruel bitch and largely predictable. Except for when she exercised her malicious sense of humor. I opened my eyes a crack, not sure what to expect. No glorious white light surrounded me in warmth, no clouds, harps or angels, nor was Alyssa there to escort me into the legendary gardens of the ‘After’.
Nope. Navy sheets twisted around me, as I lay crowded and hot in Rowan’s bed.
Coal, curled like a kitten, balled up tight against my chest and belly. He had both his hands wrapped around one of the wooden training dirks we used with the younger students at the Academy. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth making him look younger than he did when he was awake.
I blinked and swiped them clear and blinked again. Was I dreaming? Were we both dead? I didn’t care as long as he was with me.
Warm, soft fingers brushed my cheek and I tore my gaze away from my boy. Jade spooned around him, facing me, her emerald green eyes glittering like two backlit gems. “He hasn’t left your side. He’s been so worried about you.”
“How,” I croaked.
Jade smiled. “We stormed the city searching for you. Bruin, Cowboy, and Savage were lead group and making their way to the palace when they saw the first body fall from the amphitheatre wall. They didn’t get there fast enough for your friend . . . but when the two kids went over, Bruin and Cowboy materialized and snatched them right out of the air.”
I ran my fingers through the crazy cockerel comb of ginger-red hair and thanked Castian, all the gods, and even the Fates, that Weres had been part of the lead group. No race could materialize with the accuracy of the Weres, and probably no men other than Bruin and Cowboy would have attempted a mid-air rescue.
I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around it, Coal and Elani had been saved. Not Terran though. I died a little thinking about him never mashing up sayings again, never playing hide and seek with me or being teased by his parents.
“And Rowan? Have preparations been made for him?”
Jade propped herself up onto her elbow. “Not necessary. Castian restored him for what you suffered at the hands of his sister. A life given for a life taken, he said.”
I swallowed as the room spun. “Rowan’s alive?”
“A little browbeaten by Reign, Bruin and Julian, but he’s held his own and is still breathing.” The weight from her pregnancy had crept into the rounds of her cheeks. I hadn’t noticed it before, but it was plain.
The deep grumble of Bruin’s bear, snoring and huffing at the back of my neck startled me. The heat from his long, lush fur warmed my back. He’d come. After all that had been said and all the anger, he’d come when I needed him.
“Nobody browbeat him,” someone mumbled from behind Jade. I saw it then, over her hip hung the arm of my other brother. I knew that beautiful shade of brown anywhere, deep mocha with a hint of cream. But—Julian never left Haven. I mean in the fifteen years he’d lived on our mountain he had never left the grounds. Ever.
“What about Rheagan and Abaddon?”
“We’ll find them,” Julian said, stretching and rising to his feet. “I should actually get back to it. You good, shrimpboat?”
I chuckled at the nickname I’d long forgotten. “Yeah. I’m good. Thanks for coming.”
“Hey, Trouble, you’re finally awake.” Rowan’s whisper came from the doorway as he strode over to our football field of a bed. He looked at the ensemble cast hunkered down around me and chuckled. “Good thing my parents believed in oversized furniture.”
“Very good thing,” I chuckled and raised my arm, ready for my husband to extricate me from the Shitstorm Survivors love-in. Bruin growled as I ruffled his fur and Rowan paled. “It’s okay. He sleeps like a bear.”
Rowan leaned over the sleeping mass of thick brown fur and squeezed my hand. “So, this is your family?”
“Yep. Except—”
“Your father’s downstairs. He’s been grilling me about Rheagan and Estes . . . or Abaddon, I guess . . . and my intentions.” A crease formed between his brows as he frowned. “You said the man was scary, Lexi. That didn’t begin to give me enough warning. He looks at me like he wants to chew my arms off for touching his daughter.”
I snorted. “You just don’t know him yet. His angry face and his happy face are the same. I’m sure you’ve charmed him and the rest of them.”
Rowan shook his head, not looking convinced, then glanced to Coal. “How great is that?”
I nodded. “Jade told me about Terran. But Elani’s safe?”
Rowan’s eyes glowed. “Fine. Your friends really saved the day on that one.”
“Help me up, will you? I’m stuck.” Rowan pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “There’s something I need to tell you first.”
A chill snaked down my spine. “What? What happened?”
“Nothing terrible.” He squeezed my hand tighter and leaned over Bruin so he could see me better. “Do you remember when I told you that Faery traits either emerge at puberty or sometimes in stressful situations?” I nodded and he licked his lips. “Well, I think with everything that happened, the trauma of Tham and then witnessing Zale and the soldiers throw Terran and the kids over the wall . . . well, triggered a change in you.”
Bruin growled again and flexed his claws in his sleep.
Rowan paled and waited until he settled before continuing. “Now don’t freak out.”
“Screw that, saying ‘don’t freak out’ makes me lose my shit.” My breathing came shallow and fast while I took inventory, arms, legs— “You are seriously fucking with my tranquility here, Rowan. What kind of change?”
His grip loosened. “Lexi, look at me. Everything is all right. You’re beautiful. Stunning. It’s just that now—you have wings. Your Air trait is that your wings developed late, instead of you being born with them. They couldn’t break free and I had to operate to release them.”
“Oh. My. Gods.” My head whirled with that one as I whipped my gaze from shoulder to shoulder to see. “Wings?”
Rowan nodded and eased me up, first to a sit and then I scootched to the end of the bed. He lifted me up and over the footboard and set me on my feet. I was wearing a backless halter top and yoga pants. When he stood me in front of the mirror, tears welled.
“Hey, don’t cry, baby,” he said, sliding in behind me so he could watch my reaction in the mirror. “You’re stunning. Breathtaking.”
I swallowed, but my mouth remained dry. “I feel like I Sigourney Weaver’d, but my alien came out the back.” Shifting first one way and then the other I checked out the black velvety wings that hung sleek and tight against my back and rear. Black was cool. And as I studied them, they unfolded behind me. “Hey, did I do that?”
Rowan nodded. “You’ll feel odd at first and your balance might be off. But whatever happens, we’ll deal with it.
His gaze met mine and his expression tightened. “That is, if you still want this—me, I mean. Your family wants to take you home. You have choices. So, if you want to rethink. . .”
“You’re talking out of your ass, Doc.”
“Yeah, well, I’m losing my mind.”
Staring at the panicked reflection of my husband my vision grew blurry again. “Do you ever worry when things work out a little too well?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, like, I walked through hell and managed to get to the other side, but a funny thing happened on the journey, I sprouted wings.” I stretched my wings out and they fanned and flapped creating a little breeze. “You, Coal, Elani, and I are alive, my family is here and we are in love and married. It’s all kind of miraculous, don’t you think?”
Rowan broke into a brilliant smile and pulled me tight against his chest. “Yes I do. I was just afraid you might not. Lexi, you don’t have to—”
My fingers on his lips stopped his ramble. “I’m right where I was meant to be, Doc. You should have clued in by now, it’s not easy to get rid of me.”
He dipped his head and kissed his way down the column of my neck. I moaned. He smelled perfect, the warmth of his lips on my skin was divine, and he held me like we were the only two people alive. “Come with me, Trouble, I’ve got a surprise I want to show you.”
“Spoiler alert.” Bruin yawned, producing clothes to cover his naked self as he rolled off the bed in his human form. “When a man says he has a surprise for you . . . that would be his penis.”
Normally I would have laughed, but I couldn’t. So much had gone wrong between Bruin and me. I waited, watching as he sauntered around the mammoth of a bed in ripped jeans and a slogan T-shirt that had a double-pointed arrow across his chest and read, ‘Don’t need a permit for these guns!’
As my heart pounded faster, Bruin opened his arms and I ran. He caught me low on my hips and hugged me tight, one of his spine-cracking, bone-crushing hugs where you wonder if your lungs would ever re-inflate. In a flood of apology and genuine regret for my actions, the two of us made our peace.
If Bruin loved Mika half as much as I loved Rowan—and I knew he did—I didn’t blame him for his anger.
“Fuck, Princess,” Bruin growled, “don’t ever disappear on us again.”
“I promise,” I said, swiping away my tears.
Movement on the bed had me turning just in time to catch Coal flying into my arms. His little body slammed into mine and it was only Rowan’s hand on my back that kept us on our feet. I didn’t care. I squeezed him tight and gave him a million kisses. “Oh, buddy, I’m so glad you’re here. Are you all right? Estes didn’t hurt you, did he? Nobody hurt you?”
The frantic head shaking was the best thing I’d ‘heard’ all day? Night? Coal pulled back and I set him back on the floor so I could see his hands. The more he rambled in his patchy, disjointed signing the more air I drew into my lungs.
“Okay, buddy,” Rowan said. “How about we give your mom a minute to freshen up and we’ll take her downstairs? I bet she’s hungry.”
I nodded. Coal took my hand and escorted me to the bathroom. When I opened the door, he assumed his stance against the bedroom wall and raised his dirk. He looked so serious and grown up. Before I started blubbering again and embarrassed the kid, I kissed the top of his head and stepped in the bathroom.
The kitchen buzzed with chatter and the clink of cutlery to plates. Leda refilled platters of food for Ydorus, and Eury. The rich aroma of her cooking made my stomach rumble. Both of my Strati men had seen better days, but considering the forces we’d come up against, the good guys had definitely come out on top.
It hurt that Terran wasn’t sitting at the table, laughing with the others. I would miss him forever.
Coal ran to the table and knuckle-bumped the two warriors like he was one of the guys.
I would have marveled about that longer had an icy blast not hit me from behind me. I knew before turning who was there. Reign. People often remarked about his cold, dark eyes, but as his gaze met mine, I read all the hurt and anger and worry the others didn’t see.
My first memory for my whole life had been me as an eight-year-old little girl afraid of the monolithic warrior glaring down on me when he found me that day in the forest. Little did we know Balor had chosen him as my mentor with the hopes that I could grow strong enough to defend Attalos. He’d been more than my mentor . . . he was my father.
“I always suspected you were a royal, Princess. I just thought it was just the pain in the ass variety.”
My tears fell as I slammed against his chest and laid my cheek against his leather vest. His long, brindle hair brushed my cheek as his huge frame enveloped mine. “You look like road kill, old man.”
He squeezed tighter. “I almost lost my baby girl. You know how fucking angry that makes me?”
“By the way you’re squeezing the air from my lungs, I could guess.”
Reign eased up on the welcome hug and set me back on my feet. “Don’t you ever walk away from us again. You hearing me? Do you know how frantic I was not knowing what the fuck happened to you?”
While he cursed, and barked, and ranted, his arms remained locked around me.
“—and Zophia tells us about Tham, but won’t give us any intel on where you are or how to get to you—”
Reign in a full-on rage was the best thing . . . ever. I stood there, inserting my ‘I’m sorrys’, ‘it won’t happen agains’, and ‘yes sirs’ where appropriate and had never felt more loved.
Once the air cleared, I formally introduced him to Rowan and tried to smooth some of the raw edges on that one. Despite his grumblings about Rowan being a civilian, and a Noble, I think he liked him or was starting to. Funny, most fathers would have been thrilled their daughter married a wealthy doctor, but in Reign’s eyes, Rowan’s only star quality was that he was a swordsmith.
Go figure.
Julian gave me a proper hug and offered me a cd case. “I downloaded the surveillance feed from your cam and made you this.”
I’d forgotten all about my third eye recorder and rolled my eyes. “I lived that nightmare, bro, I don’t need a reminder.”
He scrubbed a hand over his cheeks and chuckled. “Uh . . . this footage was taken earlier in the evening. It’s your wedding and the hours that followed.”
I snatched the case out of his hand and my cheeks warmed. “You didn’t watch it, did you, pervert?”
He made a face. “No, I edited it out before Reign saw it and killed the man. I will say, the time stamp from start to finish impressed the hell out of me. Your man’s a machine. Well done, Princess.”
I laughed and left my brother to go join my sex machine husband. After slipping the cd case into Rowan’s pocket, I cupped his ass. “So, Doc, what’s my surprise?”
“Despite what your brother thought it’s not my penis.”
He led me by the hand, past the colored glass doors of the library, past the entrance with the glass wall and the fish, and into an area of the main floor I had discovered during hide and seek. The double doors to a ballroom were open and when I saw who was inside, I jolted to a stop.
“Tham!”
I launched myself across the room and into his arms. He felt whole and warm and real and I let myself believe the past five days had been nothing but a cruel trick. “You’re here. Castian gave you back to us. Gods, I’m so sorry. I never meant—”
Tham pulled back and wiped my tear-stained cheeks with his thumb. “Shh, I know your heart. I made peace with what happened and accept my passing.”
“Made peace? Screw that. You’re back now and that’s all that matters.”
Tham shook his head. “No, little one, Castian has allowed me to say my goodbyes and fulfill my promise but that is all. He will not undo what has been done. That time has passed and my body has been burned. I am grateful he allowed me this much.”
“What? No? If I speak to him—”
“A life for a life, sweeting. You have your Rowan back. With Coal and Elani, your family is restored.”
“But you’re my family too. I need you.” I could see in his Highborne blue eyes that the deal was done. I had only this moment with Tham to say our goodbyes. “Will you still come to me? Still visit me in my dreams? I need our time together.”
The sharp intake of breath behind me made me wince. Shit. I’d never told Rowan about the nocturnal get togethers Tham and I shared.
“If I am able,” he said. “I shall always watch over you and Galan and our Haven family.”
I exhaled, glancing back to where Rowan stood over my shoulder. There was hurt and tension in his gaze, but love too. I turned back to Tham. “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Hotness. This is all my fault.”
Tham shook his head and his flaxen waves rustled against the suede of his vest as it always had. “Mayhap this is where my Ambar Lenn was leading me all along. We cannot know what my path was meant to be. Whether my future lay in the hands of Castian, or the Fates, or my own free will, this is where we are and I accept it.”
“You’re such a fucking martyr,” I said with a quiet laugh. His perfect features blurred behind my tears. “Only you could take being dead and make it sound like a new and exciting adventure.”
He bowed his head and gestured to our family filing into the ballroom behind us. Reign corrected Coal’s grip on his dirk. Tham smiled. “If I spend a lifetime watching your futures unfold, neelan, it will be a full life indeed. With Rheagan and Abaddon together and on the loose, the war with the Scourge will escalate. You will need someone watching your back.”
“You’re pretty determined for a ghost, you know.”
“I am aware.” He smiled at me with an ease that only Tham could muster and my heart ached. “Do you remember what you told Galan, Aust, and me the morning we left our village and headed to Haven?”
I shrugged. “Something profoundly inspirational?”
“Naturally.” Tham laughed, running his fingers down the side of my cheek. “You said not to hold back when facing Fate’s Journey, that starting anew is the perfect opportunity to strike a fresh path and create a life only dreamed of.”
“So, what now?” I asked.
“Now, I fulfill the last promise I made to you. A dance on your birthday.” Tham nodded to someone over my shoulder. The music came up and Bruno Mars started singing, “Count on Me”. Tham waggled his finger, coaxing me, and I went to him, tears streaming, my heart filled to bursting.
“Happy birthday, neelan.” Tham kissed my forehead and whirled me into his arms. My feet barely touched the tiles.
I memorized everything about those three magical minutes. The grace of Tham’s movement as we glided across the polished floor, the way his dimples showed when he laughed, the aroma of suede mixing with the scent of his smooth, ivory skin. And as the song ended, the way his arms felt around me as he hugged me goodbye.
“Amin mela lle, Alexannia Grace.”
“I love you too, Hotness.” He waited while I gathered myself and then led us to our watching family. His smile softened as he raised our joined hands to Rowan. “You are a truly blessed male. Take good care of her. And be patient.”
Rowan cleared his throat. “I absolutely will. And good luck to you.”
I couldn’t watch as Tham walked away and Rowan seemed to know it. He turned me back towards the dance floor and I kept my gaze focused on the windows on the far wall.
“I hate to admit it,” he said, “but that guy is pretty great.”
“The best.” Realizing how insensitive my words were, I glanced up. “I’m gutted by losing Tham, but it’s you I love. You know that, right?”
Rowan nodded, and for the first time I saw that the doubt and hurt he’d carried with him was gone. His eyes burned with the most beautiful flecks of gold and green. “I do.”
I pressed my cheek to Rowan’s side and he draped his arm across my shoulder. The chatter of our family dissipated and we were left alone. I don’t know how long we stayed there, me listening to the thrumming rhythm of his heart beneath my ear. Eventually though, he gathered my hand in his and led me out a door in the opposite direction everyone else had gone.
“Back to what Bruin said earlier . . . I do have another surprise I desperately want to show you.”
The chemistry sparking between us from that first moment ignited once again. My skin tingled to awareness as I jogged to keep up with his determined strides.
“Yay. And as the birthday girl, I get to unwrap my surprise, right?”