11
LUKA LEFT ME WITH NO CHOICE but try to take him all the way in. Logic was shoved aside by panic, which was willing to try anything to find air. My terrified sound was muffled under his flesh, and I dug my nails into the meaty parts of his thighs, scrambling to earn his release. My eyes teared up in a physical reaction.
There was certainly no doubt in my mind who was in control.
It lasted only a few seconds and a lifetime before Luka stepped back. I fell forward onto my hands, gasping and choking in air as I stared at the carpet. I shook with both fear and adrenaline, and everything was buzzing as oxygen poured into my lungs. I’d never felt more alive.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
I snapped my head up and found him waiting for me with a strange emotion like concern edging his eyes. It was fleeting, and gone so fast I might have imagined it. We locked gazes in a wordless conversation, at least, it felt like it. He wanted to make sure I could handle what had just happened, which was so different than the aftermath of the bathtub. This was a check-in. A visual evaluation, and it looked like I’d passed.
“Get over here and suck my cock.”
He controlled every part of me, so I followed him without hesitation. It was stunning how quickly I’d surrendered, and how exciting this new feeling was. Giving my trust and control over to this beautiful monster was so very wrong, but . . . shit, I liked it. He quirked his mouth in a smile as I crawled to him and sat back on my heels, readying to complete my task.
He undid the belt from my neck and dumped it to the floor, which announced there was some sort of trust between us. I told myself I was happy about it because it meant I was a step closer to escape, and for no other reason.
Luka’s commands made it easy. I went faster when he ordered me to. I used my hands, and increased my grip as he instructed. I flicked my tongue on the sensitive underside where I knew there were the most nerve endings. When he groaned in satisfaction, pleasure washed over me as well.
“I tried to find you once,” he whispered. “Right after finals, but I was looking in the wrong place.” I paused as I considered his words, but his voice went severe. “Did I tell you to slow down?”
I resumed my steady pace. He’d looked for me? Why did that make me feel warm? He’d told me he wasn’t a nice guy, I reminded myself, and had proven it more than once. I should have been glad he hadn’t found me when I was younger. I’d grown up a lot in the last two years, and although I wasn’t tough, I was stronger now.
“You were the smartest one in the class,” he said. “So I assumed you were a math major, but no one knew you.”
Of course they didn’t. I didn’t make many new friends my sophomore year, and definitely not in my math classes. I wanted to ask why he hadn’t tried harder to find me. Luka’s personality was all type A. He wouldn’t give up easily if he wanted something. But he’d also changed since I’d seen him last, and I wondered if whatever had happened to him might have occurred at that time.
“I would have asked you out, and when I found out you were a virgin, I’d have taken you back to your dorm and fucked your smart brains out.”
My heart skipped at a hurried tempo. This was my fantasy, only in it he’d been patient and sweet. He’d been safe and comfortable and . . . maybe a little boring. I thought I wanted safe and comfortable, but what if I needed this aggressive, dominating version more?
His rapid, uneven breaths told me he was close, and I was anxious to see his release, this time with me being a willing participant. I tightened my grip, twisting it down his length as I slid my mouth up and down on him.
It rolled from his lips, loaded with sin. “You look so goddamn good like this. I’m gonna come in your innocent, little mouth. Would you like that? Huh?” He guided me to bob on him faster. “If I filled you up with my hot cum?”
His obscene words riled, but thrilled. I had no self-restraint. Like a kid who suddenly discovered a room full of toys, I wanted to play with everything, all at once. Now that I had dipped my toe into the dirty pond, I jumped in and was eager to get filthy.
Luka’s chest was heaving. He’d stared at me last night as he’d gone down on me, so I forced myself to do the same in return. His expression was intense and primal. He looked like a man on the edge of madness.
The muscles along his frame hardened. A growl ripped from his chest and he burst on my tongue. Hot, thick liquid pooled in my mouth in spurts, and from above, he rained down filthy words that were moaned as compliments.
He was still pulsing as the movement of his hips slowed.
“Swallow,” he said breathlessly, still recovering.
I did, and as I sat back, I wiped a finger over my damp lips. Did he notice my hand was trembling? I was sure he did. It felt like he saw everything. Yet he said nothing as he bent and tugged his pants and boxers up. He did the zipper, but not the button, and didn’t reach for the belt or his shirt. Instead he reached for me.
I stared at his offered hand, spinning. Given what I’d just done, this was nothing. So why did it feel like it was everything? As if I were crossing a threshold with him? Taking his hand was another huge step as we tried to forge trust. I slipped my hand into his, and although he didn’t smile, I knew he was pleased.
He didn’t speak as he helped me to my feet. When I was beside him, his hand on mine shifted. His long fingers curled around my wrist so he could lead me along toward the bathroom. He could have easily held my hand with our fingers linked together, but no. This wasn’t a partnership, and we weren’t equal. This was just another way for Luka to exert his control.
He scooped up the duffel bag, and once we were in the bathroom with the door shut, he set it on the counter and unloaded the contents. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it was surreal to see my things in his hands. My makeup bag. My shower caddy. My birth control pills.
I gripped the edges of my shirt and wrapped them around myself, crossing my arms over my chest. I was still shaky from the intense scene that had played out, and now I was cold and awkward. He turned the dial on my birth control pack and punched out the pill for today, then handed it to me. My fingers trembled as I took it from him, popped it in my mouth, and dry-swallowed.
Satisfied, he put a hand on my arm and guided me deeper into the room, herding me to the glass door of the shower.
He opened it, turned on the water, and then set his dark gaze on me. It was clear what he wanted. I let out a shuddering breath and peeled the shirt down my arms, dropping it to the tile. The silence from him was stifling, and I ached for him to say something.
But he said nothing.
Instead he turned me and pressed my back to the cold glass, which made me inhale sharply. He leaned over, setting his forearm on the glass over my head, and his other hand slipped down the front of my panties.
My lips parted so I could pull in air. His touch had purpose. His fingers closed around the vibrator still lodged in me, and slowly pulled it out. It was tossed into the nearby sink.
The glass at my back was beginning to warm with the heat of the shower, and I felt feverish as Luka set a hand delicately on my cheek. At first I thought he was going to kiss me, but his gaze wasn’t on mine, or on my mouth. His thumb brushed my cheekbone. It took me a second to place what he was doing. He was evaluating me for injury from the belt. Broken capillaries, or bloodshot eyes, or signs of ligature.
My voice was quiet. “Did you leave any marks?”
“No.” His gaze clicked with mine and my knees wanted to buckle under the weight of it. “Did you want me to?”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head.
Stubble darkened Luka’s jaw and I studied it up close. He looked sculpted. Flawless skin covering high cheekbones and a strong jawline. And, God, his mouth was sexy with its cruel, wicked lips. He must have noticed what I was looking at, because he gave me a hint of a closed mouth smile.
His fingers dipped below the waistband of my panties again, and his kiss swallowed my gasp. My skin seared from his touch, and burned as his hard body pressed against mine. I didn’t know if I was allowed to touch him without permission. He’d always had me pinned down, or had ordered me to put my hands behind my back. So I risked it. I set my palm flat on his chest, over his heart, and noticed its steady beat. Even his heartbeat was controlled.
But his skin was on fire like mine. Luka’s tongue filled my mouth as the pads of his fingers swept and stirred, and I moaned softly.
Had I cracked an invisible whip? Luka sank to his knees and tugged my underwear down my legs, pulling one foot free and then the other.
“Wider,” he ordered, pushing on my knee and getting me to stand with my feet wide on the bathmat.
“Mmmm,” I whimpered, strangling back the full moan. He’d planted a kiss right on my most sensitive spot. His forceful hands trapped my hips and held me still, and then he got to work.
Holy shit. I slid six inches down on the door, my skin squealing on the glass, as heat blasted up my legs. His soft, wet tongue made me squirm and left me dizzy with confusion. Once again, I wasn’t supposed to want pleasure from him. I should be clawing his eyes out, not holding back moans and running my fingers through his soft, thick hair.
“I like that I’m not tasting anyone else’s cock right now. This pussy is all for me. Only for me.”
My eyes slammed shut and I tipped my head back, panting though my open lips. Emotions and sensations battled for attention. Luka’s hands were braced on my waist, and they were the only thing keeping me upright. My trembling legs were made of jelly.
He paused only for a moment. “Repeat it.”
“This . . .” The word was dirty, and I faltered for a moment. “This pussy is only for you.”
Saying it out loud catapulted me right to the edge. Everything was tingling and my heart raced. Need clawed inside, threatening to tear me to shreds.
“Oh, God. Oh, God . . .” I pulled at his hair, overwhelmed as the orgasm bore down.
Luka sucked at my clit, and his fingers dug in, denting the skin on my hips, which triggered my release. The climax was intense. I opened my mouth to cry out, but the pleasure stole the sound from my voice. I arched my back, my body possessed, and then I slammed back into the glass with a loud bang.
I groaned as the last wave passed, and reality came back into focus.
He wasn’t kneeling anymore. Luka stood over me, watching every breath I took intently. There was no outward reaction. His eyebrow didn’t hint at displeasure, and his mouth didn’t lift into a soft smile, but I sensed his satisfaction. He’d enjoyed making me come.
It wasn’t a reward for what we’d done in the bedroom, I was fairly sure. This had been about power. He was ensuring I was still under his spell.
“If I let go of you,” he said, “will you fall? Your legs are shaking pretty bad.” He didn’t use a patronizing tone, but the edge lingered and was further proof of how much he liked having the upper hand.
“I’m fine,” I said, pushing off of the glass to stand. It took an enormous effort not to sway, but I did it.
He released me, yanked open the shower door, and gestured. “Get in.”
I hesitantly stepped in and was relieved when he shut the now-fogged door behind me. Both the shower and the bathroom were well lit, and I was horribly uncomfortable being naked in front of him. It was something I was going to need to get over. As a doctor, nudity would be necessary, but that was different. It wasn’t sexual nudity.
I couldn’t put myself in that mindset here. Everything about Luka was sexual.
The shower was tiled with pretty green and blue glass accents, and there was a low ledge on the wall opposite the shower head. It was just big enough to consider it a seat. The water was hot as I stepped under the steady stream and closed my eyes.
How long would he give me to shower? Long enough to make sense of all the shit that just happened?
No. Cold air wafted as the door swung out and my eyes fluttered open to see a fully naked Luka step into the shower. I scrambled backward and turned away to stare at the wall. “What are you doing?”
“Saving time. We’re having dinner with my father in an hour.”
My gaze burned a hole in the tile. “What?”
Of course he didn’t say anything. I pictured him with an annoyed look plastered on, not wanting to repeat himself when I’d obviously heard him. Which I had, but it didn’t mean I understood. He wanted to hold me prisoner here, and meet his parents?
There was a quiet thud, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him set my shower caddy on the ledge.
“You won’t talk during dinner,” Luka said. “Answer questions if he asks, but that’s it.”
Since he couldn’t see me, I made a face.
Stupid. I should have guessed he’d know. Maybe my body language had given me away. I found myself spun around and my back flattened against the wall. He loomed above and his face was deadly serious.
“This is fucking important, you understand?” He looked . . . different. Holy hell, he looked concerned. It was such a strange fit on him. “My father’s an asshole. He’s mean, and cruel, and decisive, so you won’t say a goddamn word, or he’ll make you regret it.”
I blinked against the water misting in my face. It was coming off of Luka as the shower beat against him, but he didn’t pay any attention. It ran in rivulets over his shoulders and down his chest, and I wanted to watch the path it carved, but didn’t dare take my gaze off of his onyx-colored eyes.
“Not a word,” he repeated, every syllable weighted.
“Okay,” I whispered. His intense stare made me uncomfortable, and my awkwardness couldn’t be contained. “How does you being in my way in the shower save time?”
The muscle along his jaw flexed.
Since it was his only response, I pushed further. “Or did you mean we didn’t have time to play ‘Let’s drown Addison in the bathtub’ again?”
Uh oh. The eyebrow arrowed upward and a scowl threatened. “I wasn’t going to drown you. That was a lesson so you’d understand who’s in charge.”
“Oh. Not me,” I said, my words bitter. “Got it.”
His cold façade snapped back into place. “I told you, these first few days will be hard. You can make it easier on yourself by not fighting. It just wastes energy. I’m going to win every time.”
I swallowed down the rising anger. Let him believe that, I thought. The faster he got comfortable in his position on top, the sooner he’d make a mistake. Plus, he couldn’t be around me twenty-four seven. He had a job.
I took a page from his book and let my face go blank. I didn’t say anything. I grabbed my shampoo bottle, turned away from him, and lathered my hair as quickly as possible. But Luka was standing under the water. To rinse off, he’d have to move out of the way. Why did he have to make everything so difficult?
It must have been clear I was waiting to get under the shower. He pulled me to him until my back was pressed against his hard chest and we shared the water cascading from the huge, fancy-looking showerhead. This wasn’t saving time at all. Was he . . . using this as an excuse to put his arms around me? I rinsed the last of the suds from my hair, and stayed in his unexpected embrace. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I keep having to remind myself that I hated him?
While I refused to admit I liked his strong arms around me, I could not get myself to step away.
“What about your mother?” I asked.
His tone was guarded. “What about her?”
He’d only mentioned his father, so I assumed his parents were divorced. “Where is she?”
“She died when I was nine.”
There was a stab of pain in my heart. “Oh.” Good lord, what was I supposed to say? Something sympathetic? I was ill-equipped to offer him any words of comfort.
Luka’s arms eased away, and painful awkwardness descended on us. I stepped into the corner out of the water and stared blankly at the pattern in the tile while he showered. It was cold, and I crossed my arms over my chest to hold in my shiver.
“Okay,” he said dryly, “the shy girl routine has got to go. Turn around.”
I frowned. “I can’t just shut that off.”
“You will, because I like looking at you. You’re fucking gorgeous.”
His words were a sucker punch to my center. Gorgeous? I was average at best. No one noticed mousy, proper Addison.
No one but Luka, apparently. I closed my eyes and turned in a slow circle until I faced him.
“Eyes open,” he said. “Stop hiding from me.”
I opened my eyes to glare at him, but he wasn’t looking at my face. His gaze swept appreciatively over my body, lingering on my breasts, before it finally settling on my eyes. There wasn’t a hint of a lie in his expression. Only desire. I had no idea how to feel about it.
Bottles and other shower accessories were shoved to one side of the ledge, and when Luka stood back up, he pointed to the bench. “Sit.”
I had to remind myself of the end goal. I would play my part as the obedient captive until the time was right. I lowered to sit and cringed at the cold tile against my bare skin.
“Good,” he said softly.
His all-seeing gaze was fixed on me, so I focused on the water swirling down the drain at his feet. The direction of the shower shifted away from us. He must have moved the showerhead. He sank down onto his knees before me, setting his dripping hands on my knees that were pinched together. His palms pried my legs apart, shoving me wide even as I began to resist. “Open.”
He was so much stronger than I was, and it forced my full attention on him. His hair was black when wet, and it only made him look more dangerous. More sinister and seductive. He edged closer between my legs so I couldn’t shut them, and his palms pressed me wide until I was entirely exposed.
“When I give you your signal, this is how wide you spread for me.”
What? I gaped at him. “Signal?”
He snapped his fingers in my face.
I lost the tenuous control on my emotions. “Are you fucking serious?”
Oh, it was the wrong thing to say. I was unaware his eyebrow could arch all the way up his forehead, like a barometer of displeasure. His fingers curled inward and he raked his nails over my thighs, leaving tracks that stung.
“Yeah, I’m fucking serious,” he growled. “If I want access to you, you’ll give it to me at the goddamn snap of my fingers.”