What the hell had he been thinking?

Lincoln was a nervous wreck by Wednesday night. He hadn’t slept. He hadn’t eaten. His hands were shaking and sweaty.

He’d been pacing his office so long the carpet was worn.

Sasha had taken his words to heart. Not only did she not try to contact him, but she hadn’t spoken to anyone. Not Rowen or Carter or even Rayne. Lincoln got no information from any of his friends to tell him if she was leaning one way or the other.

He assumed it was possible some of them were lying, especially Rayne, but he couldn’t do anything about it, so he stopped badgering them twenty-four hours ago.

His well-thought-out plan that had seemed brilliant Sunday afternoon before he spoke to her no longer seemed viable. How was he supposed to demonstrate his sadism in front of her if he couldn’t steady his hands or concentrate on his submissive?

It wasn’t safe. No one should dominate another person in this state of mind. He’d made a lot of poor choices over the years, but he wouldn’t make this mistake tonight.

He hadn’t canceled on anyone who’d scheduled a session with him for tonight yet—mostly because it hadn’t occurred to him how totally incapable he was until a few minutes ago. He’d have to wait until they arrived or find another Dom to fill his slots.

Jesus.

He stopped pacing and turned to look out the window. Would she show up?

What if she didn’t?

He’d told her he would respect her decision, but he wasn’t at all sure he could go through with it. If she didn’t come to the club tonight, he would undoubtedly head to her apartment and beg her to give him a chance.

He closed his eyes.

The door to his office opened. He waited for whoever it was to speak up. It was early, so it had to be either Rowen or Carter there to tear him another new asshole. He wasn’t eager to find out who’d come to rip into him this time.

No one spoke. Had he imagined the sound of the door?

Nope. Because then the door closed with a soft snick.

He took a breath, bracing himself to face the latest firing squad, and then he turned around.

His breath hitched. Damn. It was Sasha. Right there. In the flesh. In his office. Wearing a sexy pale pink sundress and silver sandals.

His heart leaped. He didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to spook her by running across the room, slamming her into the door, and kissing the sense out of her, but that was his first inclination.

She looked nervous. Hesitant. She tucked an unruly curl behind her ear and cleared her throat. “I heard you had a thing for innocent-looking girls. Is that a fetish?” Her voice was teasing.

Thank you, God.

A smile split his face. “If we want it to be.” Control yourself. Stay calm. Let her determine the course.

She stepped farther into the room, her fingers playing with the material of her dress at her sides.

Holy shit. His heart stopped. She wasn’t wearing one of her regular sweet, innocent dresses. Not this time. This dress would make every man in the building turn to stare with their throats dry and their balls pulled up tight.

His eyes went wide as he let his gaze roam down her body, taking it all in. The dress—if you could call it that—was indeed pale pink. But that’s about the only thing it had in common with her regular choices in clothing. It was short, almost too short—did it even cover her ass?

He swallowed a lump in his throat. He was afraid to find out.

The spaghetti straps were so thin he wasn’t sure they would hold up the bodice, which was more of a corset. It made her breasts look amazing, lifting them so much she had the hint of cleavage. The skirt was loose… and again, so damn short. If she spun, it would flare out and everyone around would see… what? He was dying to know and he prayed he got that opportunity at some point.

But holy mother… she was not wearing dainty silver flat sandals either. She was wearing dainty silver heels that made her legs go on and on forever and gave her shapely calves enough definition to cause him to drool.

Realizing he’d done nothing but stare at her hot body, he jerked his gaze to her face to find her biting her lip. Should he compliment her? “Baby… you look amazing.”

A slow smile. “I wasn’t sure you’d like it.”

He took a few steps forward. “Anything you wear looks amazing. And nothing.” He hoped he sounded light and joking as opposed to suggestive.

She worried her bottom lip again and looked away, blushing. Yeah, this was his Sasha. His chest tightened just looking at her, and he knew he would take her any way he could get her. He would move heaven and earth for her.

He would even give up sadism and sell the club for her. That’s how much he loved her.

He had intended to say nothing and let her watch him in action. But that was before. Before he realized he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to play tonight. Before she walked into his office wearing that damn outfit that made his cock hard and tied his tongue in knots.

He wasn’t sure he wanted her to leave his office wearing it. In fact, he was concerned about who had seen her between her apartment and his office. Irrational jealousy reared its head. She would be pissed if he dictated what she could and couldn’t wear in public.

Suddenly he knew what he needed to do, so he started talking. “I had a mentor,” he began, taking a deep breath.

She startled. “You did?”

“Yeah. Master Christopher. I’ve never told anyone.”

“Okay.” She worried her fingers together. It was cute as fuck, and he had to glance away to keep his train of thought.

“I met him at an underground club when I was seventeen.”

She smiled. “I met a man in a club when I was seventeen too. What a coincidence.”

Lincoln smirked. “Don’t remind me.” He watched her drop her hands and wipe them on the sides of her skirt. She was nervous. And again, she pulled at his heartstrings. How and why had he denied himself this woman for so many years? “Master Christopher was a sadist.”

She nodded. “Okay.” Matter of fact. Huh.

“I found his work fascinating. He was brilliant. Watching him was like a form of art.”

She held his gaze, giving nothing away.

“I was intrigued, and I soaked up everything he had to offer. He thought I had a gift, so he shared it with me.” She still watched him, so he continued. “Apparently I was good at what I did. People booked time with me. Masochists, I mean.”

She lifted a brow, her head tipping slightly.

“A masochist is someone who enjoys receiving pain.”

“Yeah, I know what a masochist is. They booked time with you?”

He nodded. “Yes. They trusted me. I had a reputation. I still do.”

She licked her lips, thinking. “So, you’re saying people schedule a session with you? People who like to be flogged or whatever?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Go on.”

Okay? That’s it? He almost laughed. “You’re making this too easy.” He gave her a slight grin.

“What? Talking? You have trouble telling people about your past or something? I’m not sure I follow, Lincoln. I’m waiting for some big secret. That’s not the end, is it? What did Master Christopher do?”

Lincoln chuckled. “That part’s not important. Although I will tell you something I’ve never told a soul.”

“What?”

“He gave me the money to buy Club Zodiac.”

“Really? Your mentor?”

“Yes. He’d saved it all his life but never got around to following his dream. He wanted me to do it.”

“That’s so generous. I can’t wait to meet him someday.”

Lincoln sighed. “He died two years ago, unfortunately.”

“I’m so sorry.”

He took a second and then continued, “Anyway, without him, we wouldn’t be standing here.”

“So, that’s it? The big secret you’re stammering to get out is that you had a mentor and he gave you money? I don’t think that’s earth-shattering, Lincoln.”

He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Okay. You said that repeatedly the other night. What’d I do now?”

Lincoln rushed forward until he was right in her space.

She didn’t retreat.

“You… You’re… Damn, Sasha. You’re so fucking amazing. I kept that secret from you for years, worrying about what you’d think of me if you knew. And you’re only interested in my mentor.” He laughed. “I’m a fool.”

“What secret? Lincoln, I’m not following you.” She reached behind her back and grasped her hands together.

Fuck. Me.

“I’m a sadist, Sasha.”

“Okay. So?”

He laughed again. “This doesn’t bother you?”

“Should it?” Her head tipped to the side again, her brow furrowed. “I mean, you said you’re good at it. You own the club. I assumed you were into some sort of pretty serious dominance. Did you think I would care?” Her eyes suddenly went wide and she took a step back, dropping her hands and swallowing hard. “Wait. Shit. Are you trying to tell me that the only way you can be with me is if I let you dominate me like that? Because Lincoln, I’m not sure, but I don’t think I could be a masochist. It doesn’t turn me on. A spanking is one thing, especially if it ends in my favor. But real pain for the sake of the adrenaline rush or something? I don’t think that’s for me. If it’s a deal breaker, tell me now.”

He jerked. “What? No. God, no. I don’t think you’re a masochist either. You’d know if you had a predilection for pain, whether or not you’d seen it in person before. I saw the way you recoiled when you watched some hardcore stuff at Breeze. That’s my point. I would never expect you to do anything you weren’t one hundred percent comfortable with. That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

He hesitated and shook his head to clear it. “Okay, no. I’m messing this up. Yes, at one point I did think we couldn’t be together because I needed a masochist, but that was dumb. I see that now. I don’t need a masochist.

“I was fixated on the fact that Master Christopher asked me to follow my passion. I twisted that and internalized it to mean he didn’t want me to veer from my dream of being a sadist and opening a club. Somehow I thought I would disappoint him if I didn’t continue to practice.”

Her words were soft and her face filled with sorrow. “That’s a heavy burden, Lincoln. I’m sure he never intended for you to take him so literally. Staying true to yourself can look like many things. People change. They evolve. They meet other people and are influenced by other ideas.”

“I’ve never actually had a permanent sub who was mine. I top people who want to scene with me. It’s not sexual for me. It’s a mutual arrangement where I get a release from dominating them and they get what they need from submitting to me.”

She nodded.

“Since being a sadist is a big part of who I am, I thought I needed a masochist as a life partner. But that was plain stupid. Couples in the lifestyle don’t all practice the same form of BDSM. Sometimes their tastes run in different directions. They negotiate. Figure out what they can both live with. It’s a give and take. They make it work. There’s no law that says my life partner also has to be into the same kink as me. I got stuck on that and wouldn’t let it go.”

“Let me guess, you figured that last part out on Sunday.”

He winced. “Yeah. Kinda. I mean, I was confused. Rowen and Carter helped set me straight. Or rather, they screamed at me until I saw reason. Some reason. I still have concerns. And Rowen might have broken his hand.”

Her eyes went wide. “He hit you?”

“No, but there’s a hole in my kitchen wall.”

She tipped her head back and laughed. It was the most beautiful sound. And then she held out a hand. “Wait, did you say Rowen was trying to get us together?”

“Not initially. At first he came to my house to cut off my balls and feed them to me. I deserved that. I can’t blame him. But Carter, ever the observant mediator, pointed out where both of us were wrong and patched things up.”

“Isn’t that nice?” she joked. “You boys had a get-together to decide who I’m allowed to sleep with and whether or not it would be prudent for me to join your club. What did y’all decide in the end? I mean, while I was bawling my eyes out on Rayne’s shoulder because the man I love fucked me and then tossed me out the door without a word.”

The blood rushed from Lincoln’s face. The man I love… That line in the middle there stopped time. It was in present tense. He wanted to fist pump the air. Instead, he tried to gather his wits. After all, she had followed those three words with more important ones—fucked me.

She was not going to make this easy. He had to dig out of this hole. “No one made decisions for you. But we did agree you should be able to make them for yourself, including your decisions regarding submission.”

“Should I be grateful?” More sarcasm.

“No.” He blew out a breath, needing to get this train back on the tracks. “I’m totally butchering this, aren’t I?”

“A little. But it’s kinda cute.” She tried not to smile. Total minx.

He narrowed his gaze at her. No matter what happened, he hoped she would at least be able to submit to him in some fashion, because at the moment he wanted nothing more than to take her over his knee and find out what she was wearing under that skimpy skirt before turning her bottom a delicious shade of dark pink. His cock stiffened.

Who knew he could react sexually or get aroused from dominating a sub? Until ten days ago, it hadn’t happened with any sub. It didn’t happen with other women. Not that he didn’t have relationships and sleep with women. But he didn’t do it at the club. He didn’t get hard from sadism or even domination. Except how would he know? Sasha was the first woman he’d practiced another form of dominance with. And he most definitely got hard with her. Just looking at her. When he considered spanking her… Fuck.

“Go on. Keep digging.” She pursed her lips.

“Baby…” he warned. He flexed his hand, the desire to spank her sweet ass growing. Inappropriate for the seriousness of this conversation.

Now she smiled. “No. Really. Don’t stop. This is just getting good. You can baby me later. I want to hear the rest of what you have to say first.”

His heart seized again. You can baby me later… There was a God. “What I was so ineloquently trying to say is that I didn’t think you’d want to be with me, knowing where my tendencies lie. I thought you’d be disgusted. Mortified. Think less of me. Frankly, this is still my primary concern. Just because you have no interest in practicing masochism doesn’t mean you can tolerate me doing it either.”

She shivered. “Why not? Lincoln, I know I’m not a member and I haven’t spent much time in the club, but I’ve known about the lifestyle for ten years. I’ve studied it thoroughly. You can’t shock me. Not verbally anyway. Yes, I’m new when it comes to witnessing, and I begged you fools to let me join the club so I could get a feel for the different types of dominance, but I wouldn’t judge anyone.”

“You nearly fainted watching that sub get cropped at Breeze last weekend.”

She rolled her eyes. It wasn’t her best-laid plan even under the circumstances, but he would refrain from pointing it out. “Are you listening to me? Jeez, Lincoln. I haven’t watched many scenes in person. Sometimes I’m going to be shocked or react negatively. Sometimes I’m going to get aroused and react positively. But I won’t know which scenes turn me on and which ones make me cringe until I observe them. Thus the need for the denied membership,” she pointed out again, her brows lifting high in a way that shouted duh.

“You really are interested in the lifestyle? You’re not just trying to piss off your brother… or me?”

Her shoulders dropped with her chin as she shot him another look, this one said seriously? “Why would I go to all the trouble to visit Breeze last week if I wasn’t interested in exploring my submission? It was stressful. I didn’t know anyone. I’ve never been so nervous in my life.

“But you three gave me no choice. You wouldn’t relent, so I found my bravery and explored elsewhere. I would much rather have been here with you or Rowen or Carter. People I know. People I’m comfortable with. But, nooooo.” The sarcasm that oozed in that word was thick in the air. “God forbid sweet, innocent Sasha be treated like an adult. After all, she’s just a kid. She can’t possibly know what she likes and doesn’t like. Let’s choose for her and set her straight.”

Lincoln winced. She was right. “We did that,” he admitted.

“Yes. You did.”

He schooled his face and his voice. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Apology accepted.”

That was easy.

She tipped her head again. “Are you sure you don’t think I can be a masochist?”

He flinched again. That came out of nowhere. And then he saw her fighting a grin. “Watch it.”

“So, what’s your plan for tonight? You want me to watch you work so I can make an informed decision? You think it’s important that I know exactly where your kink lies so there are no secrets between us?”

“Yes.” She had it all figured out. “But now I’m too flustered to do any scenes, so it’s not going to happen tonight.”

Sasha blew out a breath and wandered toward the window.

The back of her “dress” was mouthwatering. The skirt was too short for public consumption, and although her long curls hung down her back to cover it completely, he could see that the majority of her back was bare.

Her voice had changed tone when she spoke, softly. Sadness filled the room. “You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, Lincoln.”

His heart seized again. He slowly walked toward her back, but he needed to let her speak.

“I realize it was stupid of me to take you up on your offer to train me. It was childish. I did it to get your attention. I wanted you to see me. I thought if I could prove to you I was strong enough to submit to you no matter what you threw at me, I could make you love me.”

He couldn’t swallow. “I know. And I never should have made the offer. I thought if I pushed you hard enough, you would give up the notion you were submissive and run from me.”

She turned to look into his eyes. “Why, Lincoln?”

“Because I didn’t think you could love me if you knew who I really was, and it would hurt too bad to see you in my club with other Doms if you rejected me.”

She stared at him.

He stared back.

“We were both stupid.”

“Yes, but I had a responsibility as a Dom to protect you, and I failed you.”

She took one step closer. “You didn’t fail me. You’re here now.”

He lifted one hand tentatively and tucked a curl behind her ear.

She tipped her face into his touch. “So what do we do now?”

“Step back. Take it one day at a time. Get to know each other. Date. If you’re willing, that is.” It was too soon to say the things hanging on the tip of his tongue. The truth is you never needed to work so hard to make me see you. To make me love you. I already did. I was just too stubborn to admit it.

She shook her head at his suggestion.

His stomach dropped. His hand, still stroking her cheek, froze.

“I don’t want to take a step back, Lincoln. I want to move forward. Why would we dance around each other and pretend we feel less than we do?”

Fuck me.

He nodded, a small smile forming. “You’re in charge, baby. I’ll do whatever you want. Lead the way.”