It was dark out the next time Sasha woke up. A soft glow of light came from the partially open bathroom door. She inhaled slowly and closed her eyes again. It was cruel that every time she woke up the world was still spinning.

Voices coming from the living room caught her attention. That must have been what woke her. She couldn’t identify who was out there, but the hushed tones sounded angry. Probably Rowen. If Rayne was still in her apartment, Rowen would have eventually shown up.

The last person Sasha wanted to face today was her brother. She didn’t need his disapproval or his condemnation. She had her own.

Rayne had been a godsend. She had kicked off her shoes, climbed onto the bed, and held Sasha’s head against her shoulder, rocking her gently as she cried a river. She hadn’t pried her for information or judged her in any way.

If Rayne hadn’t been there, Sasha had no idea how she would have managed. She supposed she would have lain in bed until she got dehydrated.

The voices were getting closer.

Shit.

If Rowen thought now was a good time to lecture her—

The door opened, and Sasha was shocked to find not Rowen but Lincoln standing in the frame, larger than life, his expression filled with so much concern she thought he might have actually been crying.

She rolled onto her side, putting her back to him. “I’m not in the mood to submit to you tonight, Lincoln. Go find someone else to confuse.”

He came in anyway, of course. After all, the man might have sent her about ten thousand mixed signals, but he’d done so without ever lowering his shield of dominance.

He sat on the edge of the bed, his weight making her rock toward him a few inches.

Shit.

“Sasha…”

She bit her lip, forcing herself not to make a sound while a new wave of tears fell. On second thought, maybe dehydration would have been preferable because now she wouldn’t be forced to show any more emotion.

He didn’t touch her, which was good. If he had so much as set a hand on her thigh, even with the comforter protecting her skin from him, she still might have swung around and punched him.

“There’s no excuse for what I did this morning. Hell, there’s no excuse for anything I did for the last two days or even the last week. Or fuck, let’s go back five years. I’ve been an ass for five years.”

She stiffened. What the hell?

“I spent the day with Rowen and Carter in my face.”

Good. I hope you mean literally. Like their fists in your face. Asshole.

“Apparently I’ve had my head so far up my ass—Carter’s eloquent words—that I haven’t had a sane thought since I bought the club.”

She didn’t move. She didn’t dare breathe.

“According to Rowen, I need to enroll in some of our beginner seminars so I can learn some negotiation skills.”

Was he chuckling?

A rustling sound accompanied by two soft thuds told her he’d kicked off his shoes. And then he had the audacity to climb onto the bed next to her and prop himself against the headboard, making himself at home.

“I’m pretty sure both of them are right. I’ve been making stupid choices for years, ever since I walked into my own club one evening and saw the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen laughing nervously with my new employees across the room.”

Sasha fisted the sheets under her chin, grateful he couldn’t see her face and that she had curled into herself. Her hair fell over her cheek to block her completely.

“She was wearing these obscenely short white shorts and a silky yellow shirt with tiny spaghetti straps. She took my breath away with her innocence and purity.”

Sasha continued to lie perfectly still. Stunned. He knows what I was wearing the day we met? He was going to ruin her perfectly good mad. She could already tell. And that pissed her off.

“I was a stupid fool that day, and somehow fell into the role of jackass that I wore like a cloak from then on. I hurt her. Badly. But I was so damn self-righteous that I convinced myself over and over again that I wasn’t good enough for her anyway.”

Sasha sucked in a breath. Not good enough for me?

He kept going. “I had a thick head. I owned a BDSM club, and I had dark tendencies when it came to the lifestyle. I knew she did not and never would. So I shunned her every chance I got, pretending she was a nuisance. My partner’s kid sister.

“She didn’t go away, however. She didn’t find a nice vanilla guy and get married. She kept getting prettier and sexier as she turned into an amazing woman. I had to keep her at arm’s length to avoid the possibility that I might fall for her.”

Sasha had no idea what he was referring to, and she hoped he would eventually spit it out. Nevertheless, his words kept her tears falling silently onto the pillow.

“Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with a crush. That sweet, sexy woman was into me. She was shy about it. She didn’t flaunt it or approach me, but she didn’t hide it well either.”

“I had hoped she would move on so I could too. It was a catch-22. On the one hand, I knew I would be happy for her if she found a nice man and settled down in a vanilla life with a white picket fence and everything he could offer her that I knew I couldn’t. On the other hand, I knew it would hurt. I would never recover from her. I would never find another woman like her.”

More tears. Sasha hiccupped. She leaned farther into the pillow.

Lincoln slid down the bed, rolled onto his side behind her, and leaned on one elbow. He set a hand on her hip. His next words were closer to her ear. Gentle. “Somewhere along the way I knew she was mine. I knew it, and still I denied it. I convinced myself I was wrong for her. It wasn’t fair to her. And it wasn’t fair to me.”

She inhaled sharply. Damn him.

His hand smoothed down to her thigh and then back to rest on her hip again. “I didn’t have the right to decide what she could and couldn’t handle like some holier-than-thou, all-knowing God. I treated her like shit in an effort to get her to walk away from BDSM. To get her to walk away from me. It was selfish and unforgivable.

“I can’t change who I am, but she deserves to make her own choices instead of me dictating them for her and acting like she isn’t smart enough to think for herself. She deserves my honesty about who I am deep inside. She deserves to have all the information so she can make an informed decision. She deserves the world.”

Sasha held her lip so hard between her teeth she thought she might draw blood. She wanted to roll over and face him, but she knew if she did, the ugly cry would turn into a fountain. And besides, he still hadn’t told her what the mysterious secret was.

His hand slid up her arm to cup her shoulder, which was tucked deep under the covers like the rest of her. He didn’t try to roll her his direction. Instead, he held her in place, encouraging her silently not to face him.

“So, here’s the deal. No matter how you slice it, I still hurt you. Cruelly.” He’d switched to speaking to her in first person. Interesting. The strange long story was over. “I don’t deserve to even ask for your forgiveness after the way I treated you, not just today and yesterday but for years. However, I’m also clear now that forgiveness is your choice. Yours to give. I don’t get to dictate who you should fall in love with, and I don’t get to decide if you should forgive me for being a jackass.”

She winced. Apparently he did get to decide that she was in love. She smiled inside, incongruent with her perfectly good sad that accompanied her totally legitimate mad.

“I don’t want you to say anything. Not today. Not for a few days. I want you to spend some time thinking about what I’ve said and how you feel. I took things from you in the last two days that I had no right to claim. Inexcusable. I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me and want me to bow out and leave you alone.

“I also want you to know this had nothing to do with dominance and submission. My feelings for you are not related to the lifestyle at all. I don’t care if you never want to practice any form of BDSM, decide to become a flashy, boisterous brat, or pick up your own whip and switch sides. It changes nothing. Those things are just details. We can always work through them later.

“What I want is to invite you to come to the club Wednesday night as my guest. I’d like the opportunity to show you who I am and what I do at Zodiac. I don’t want you to make any definitive decisions between now and then. I won’t contact you. You need time to think and breathe after what I put you through this weekend. It was intense.”

He had that right. She’d never been so tired in her life. She might sleep clear until Wednesday.

He squeezed her shoulder when she started to roll backward, stopping her. “Don’t, baby.” His words were soft. “I don’t deserve to meet your gaze right now, and to be honest, I don’t think I could look into your eyes without crumbling. I’m feeling cowardly.

“And don’t say anything either. I don’t need an answer. Just think about it. If you want to take a chance on me, come on Wednesday. Carter will check you in. If not, I’ll understand. I might not like it… Okay, I might actually freak out, but I’ll learn to live with it.” A slight hint of humor ended his words.

He leaned in, kissed the hair curtaining her forehead, and then his weight left the bed, and he was gone.

Sasha couldn’t move for a long time. Rayne didn’t come in either. She was grateful for the solitude.