Poncho proudly leads our little party back to his house, it’s the small brick bungalow I visited with Molly at the end of summer.

John’s mom is in the kitchen when we get inside, sitting at the table with a book in front of her, which she puts it down when both dogs rush to her side. “You brought company home.” she says matter-of-fact. If John’s in trouble for not asking her permission first, there’s no sign of it on her face.

“You told me you were making lasagna for dinner.” he answers back like that explains everything. The two of them start laughing together at some joke I’m not getting, leaving me standing against the kitchen counter, looking on and a little baffled.

“I’m sorry about that” John’s mom says, after taking a long sip of water. Her name pops into my head as she looks at me. Carol. Last time, she was introduced as Carol. “John has a habit of bringing friends home so I can feed them. Probably his way of getting through all of our left overs faster so I have to make him something new.”

“Guilty,.” John says.

“You’re Reece, right?” His mom asks. When I nod, she says, “I know I’ve met you before, but seeing as there are a few people running around town with your face these days, I didn’t want to assume.”

John and I settle into the kitchen as his Mom checks on dinner, sitting down on one of the two remaining chairs after we let the dogs out back where Molly immediately starts doing laps, remembering that she’s been here before.

John talks happily to his Mom about school and people I don’t know, but it’s Carol who keeps reaching out to pull me into their conversation, shooting me apologetic looks all the while.

“So, Tony got a new dirt bike.” John starts in, it feels like he’s looking anywhere but at me. His Mom holds up a hand before he can start rambling about something new.

“Jonathan Matthew.” she starts. “You brought company over. The least you can do is include her in the conversation.” She passes behind her son, whose face has taken on a pink tinge, silently mouthing something at me from behind him. I think she says he’s nervous, but I could be wrong. I smile politely either way, not sure what to say.

From the looks of it, John is no better off than I am. For a second he meets my eye, but right away he gets up to go let the dogs in.

Is his Mom right? Is John nervous about having me here? It’s not like this is the first time.

“So, Reece.” Carol says after another minute of silence. Something about the look in her eye hints that on some level she’s laughing at me and her son, though I can’t say why. “I was so excited when John told me that you got to keep Molly. How are you liking having a puppy?”

“It’s exhausting.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind. “Although, I guess she’s still easier than the three you had.”

“Oh, I don’t know. It seems like the older puppies get, the more trouble they are. Then around about a year and a half they finally start to calm down.”

“Something to look forward to then.”

“How did you decide on the name Molly? It’s adorable.”

Now it’s my turn to feel a little uncomfortable, maybe even a little nervous. Or at least a little silly. “It’s a Harry Potter reference.” I confess. “I named her after Molly Weasley because I love the movies so much.”

From across the table, John gasps dramatically, jumping right back into the conversation like his mom never gave him a hard time. “By movies, I hope you meant books.”

I shake my head. “Nope. My sister Reagan keeps giving me a hard time about that too. I’m not a big reader. Besides, there’s no way the books are as good.”

“Blasphemy.”

From there our conversation takes on a life of its own, John and I debate everything from the merits of the Harry Potter franchise, to how weird of a name it is for a dog. It turns out that Carol has been letting John name all of their pets for his whole life, and how they’ve evolved over the years from more bizarre choices like Fork and Poncho.

As Carol takes the lasagna out of the oven, she tells me about choosing to have John as her fortieth birthday was approaching and she realized that she’d yet to meet anyone she wanted to settle down with. With complete openness, she talks about how she realized she had never been all that interested in a romantic partner, but had always wanted a child. So, she had John all on her own before it was too late. She says the word asexual like it’s the most natural thing in the world, my mouth drops open a little. I’m not even sure my parents know what that means.

John and his mom both admit that they used to see big families like mine, getting a little jealous since their own unit is so different, so small. Before long, they realized they could keep filling their house with more pets in need and feel just as content.

Their family is so different from what I’m used to, but I find I’m a little bit in love with it. They're just as interested in my not-so-conventional family as I am in their world of helping homeless animals.

It turns out that Carol’s lasagna is the stuff of legends. After only my first bite I’m convinced I could eat the entire pans worth tonight if someone asked me too. It’s that good. I’d never say this to my dad, but it’s probably the best I’ve ever had.

“I was so impressed with how the school’s efforts to make back the money themselves took over the entire town.” John’s mom says after swallowing a forkful of pasta. “John tells me you had a lot to do with that.” Honestly, I’m a little surprised John noticed at all, but I don’t say that out loud. “I’m only sorry you didn’t get the result you were looking for.”

At first, I just want to change the subject. I’ve had an unexpectedly great day today and bringing this up all over again will only bring me down. However, John and his mom have been so open with me, that it hardly seems fair.

“Thank you.” I say. “It was a lot of work. Like a freakish amount of work. I know it wasn’t a waste of time since some people got their teams back, but the whole thing is kind of still a sore spot for me.”

Both Carol and John nod like what I’ve just said is completely understandable, rather than me just being selfish. Soon, the entire story comes pouring out of me. All of it. From my disappointment at not making the team last year, to my conversation with Coach Wasserman and not knowing what to do with the information I have. “It’s too late to fix it.” I add at the end. “I mean, we can’t get our team back, but it doesn’t feel right to me either.”

“You’re kidding!” John says, when I finally stop talking. “I mean, can they do that?” His hand clenches tight around his fork. “I’m sure your team works just as hard as the guys do.” Seeing how angry John is leaves me vindicated. Someone outside of my family, outside of my team, thinks this is just as wrong as I do.

John takes on a furious expression, his mother is nods thoughtfully. “How would you define fixing this?” She asks. “If you can’t bring your team back, at least not this year, what would be the next best thing?”

She’s asking the very same thing I’ve been wondering myself for a few days. If I were to try and call out the town for blatantly picking guys over girls because they don’t see our sports as equally valuable, what would I want?

“I’m not totally sure.” I admit. “Mostly, I just want the chance to play again. I’d also love to have a chance to play for a college team, or at least to give some of my friends that chance. The scholarships aren’t as big as they are for guys, but they still wouldn’t hurt.” Yeah, my mom has had a good job for as long as I can remember, but she also has four kids that are going to graduate high school at the exact same time. Maybe if Dad still had his job at the university things would be different. Now college has become something we don’t really talk about.

“Well, I’m hardly an expert...” Carol answers. “...but I doubt anyone can stop you from playing soccer outside of school. Though doing it in a way that would help with college might be another thing altogether. You've already proven yourself capable of making big things happen. I barely know you, and even I can see that. You know more about the sport than I ever will. You might find you already have the tools you need.”

I nod along, letting Carol’s words sink in. Soon, the conversation shifts even if my thoughts never quite leave her words.

Only after dinner is done and Carol has put a bowl of vanilla ice cream in front of me do I look outside, realizing that it’s already starting to get dark outside. Where did my day go? I grab my phone to text Dad.

Reece: Still alive.

Dad: Good to know.

I should probably get going if I want to have enough time to get home and shower before going out tonight.

Instead, when John suggests we play a board game, I find myself nodding yes.

Hours later, after a pretty intense game of Boggle, John walks Molly and I to the door. His mom left the two of us in the kitchen after dinner, retreating to her bedroom while her son and I hung out in the living room. I expect him to say goodbye when we reach the threshold, instead, he follows me outside.

“Thanks so much for dinner.” I say for the third time or so. “Your mom really is an amazing cook.”

“Thanks for coming.” John answers back. “I didn’t think you would.” I’m about to say goodnight, but John keeps talking. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something. Would you maybe want to go out with me to a movie next weekend?” The last sentence falls out of his mouth like one long word, both hurried and excited at the same time, but I catch exactly what he says.

It feels like I’ve been hit over the head with a frying pan.

John likes me.

John’s asking me out.

How did I not see this?

With other guys, I’ve usually had a pretty good idea of which ones were interested in me and which ones would only ever be buddies. I like to think I’ve got a pretty good sense about this kind of stuff.

With John, I’m entirely blindsided.

What surprises me so much more, is that I’m just standing here and smiling at him right now as reality hits me.

John asked me out and I...well, I kind of want to say yes.

“Umm...” I say, trying to buy myself more time. “I’m kind of surprised.”

John still looks so serious, standing on his step and watching me. “Really? I thought it was so obvious that I liked you. I thought maybe that’s why you started avoiding me.”

Oh. Damn. I’m here, oddly excited that a guy I didn’t realized I was into has asked me out and it’s possible I’ve been a jerk to him this whole time.

“I had no idea.” I promise. John’s whole body relaxes a little in response.

My heart is already sinking as I realize I really can’t give him the answer he wants to hear. Not today. Maybe not for a while yet.

I may not be grounded anymore, but I did make a deal I need to honor so I’m not free yet either.

“I can’t though.” I say right away, before John can get his hopes up. “Go out with you.” I want to. I really want to. I won’t say that part out loud. It would probably only make things worse for both of us.

I almost fumble out something about not wanting to ruin our friendship, because as I stand there, I’m realizing that I do see John as a friend even if maybe I didn’t completely realize that before either. I’m not about to lie to him.

“Oh...”

“It’s not you, I swear. You’re… you’re pretty great. It’s just complicated. I can’t right now.”

I have to imagine what John’s thinking right now—it’s someone else, I just don’t like him like that, a million other things that aren’t I promised my parents I wouldn’t date so that I can have a puppy—and as any hope of him smiling at me again tonight fades, I feel like a monster.

When Molly and I start our walk home, I’m grinning ear to ear, a little happy that no one is around to see me looking like a giant dope. There’s a pit of sadness growing in my stomach as well, like I’ve been hit with a new crush like a hammer, my body is tingling all over.

I like John.

I really like John.

Liking John feels pretty awesome.

By the time I get home, Molly is so exhausted that I eventually give in and pick her up to carry her the rest of the way inside. She wakes up only briefly, long enough to snuggle into her bed in the living room, I fall a little more in love with her right then and there.

My conversation with John’s mom is still niggling in the back of my brain, practically shouting look at me, though I can’t figure out why. As I make my way up two flights of stairs, I’m pulling at different strands of ideas, trying to see what might start to form into something real, something helpful.

I have every intention of sitting down at my desk and starting to brainstorm all over again, but as soon as I sit down in my gray wheely-chair I use my feet to push myself away from my computer and toward Reagan’s, where my sister is hunched over and clicking frantically at something on her screen.

“Hey.” I say as soon as I’m behind her. She ignores me until whatever is going on inside her computer is finished. It’s easy enough to recognize City of Ages, I’ve seen my sister play it a hundred times, but I have no idea what’s happening.

“What’s that?” I ask, pointing at a feathered monster in the game. My finger hits Reagan’s screen, leaving a smudge mark and eliciting a noise like an angry cat might make from my sister. “Sorry.”

“That’s Nadine’s character.” Rea reaches over and wipes the smudge away. “Why are you asking?”

“I’m taking an interest.”

“In City of Ages?” My sister sounds completely disbelieving.

“What?” I answer, even though her surprise is totally warranted.

“Why do you care?”

“Why are you so suspicious?” Reagan lets out a huff, not answering me. “Please?” I add. “Even just show me the basics and I’ll love you forever.”

Rae lets out a long sigh. “Is this about a guy?”

“No comment.”

“Did Mom and Dad say you could start dating again now that you aren’t grounded again?” Suspicion edges into Reagan’s voice.

“Nope.” I say, feeling a little guilty, but also the tiniest bit excited. “I’m just planning ahead.”

Despite her hesitation, Reagan’s enthusiasm quickly goes up as she describes a quest chain she’s been working through, whatever that means. I’m a little surprised at myself and how easily I catch on to what she’s doing. I still have no idea how to actually play, but for the first time I kind of feel like maybe I understand the point of all this. Maybe.

As my eyes watch the colorful scenes and animations unfolding in front of me, my mind starts to wander back to tonight.

Back to John. But, also back to our conversation with his mom.

Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to her about our team, but I’m glad I did. She seemed so sure that I already had everything I needed to help make this right.

I’m starting to think that maybe she’s right.

This has been a big night for realizing big things that have been in front of me all along.

“Rae.” I say, as my sister chats with Nadine through her game. “Any chance one of your theatre-nerd friends has a decent video camera we can borrow?”