CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

As he exited the hospital elevator, Cage paused to lean up against the cool wall. He felt like a steaming pile of dog shit that hadn’t just been shit out and left behind to rot away, but had been lapped up by the same dog that had shit him out and then regurgitated. A few times over.

He hadn’t slept in days, he couldn’t eat without it coming right back up, he couldn’t even stay hard long enough to fuck his woman, and he was jonesing for a high something fierce. His heart was racing, his skin clammy, his body sluggish, he felt cold when he was sweating and crazy when he should feel happy. He needed something. Some blow, some pills, fucking anything at all. But he’d promised Tegen no more drugs and, to be perfectly honest, he hadn’t thought quitting the shit was going to be a problem until he’d sobered up and immediately wanted to be fucked-up again.

He’d tried hitting the bottle to take the edge off and all that did was get his ass kicked by Tegen. Not because he was drinking but because drinking had done nothing but worsen the cravings for something more. As well as cause him to think something more would be a really great idea, so he’d relapsed. Twice.

Which in turn caused Tegen to take his keys away, smash his cell phone to bits, and slap him in the face a few times.

It was fucking official. He was a goddamn junkie.

So yeah, it was a problem.

And because of all that bullshit, because he couldn’t trust his temper, he’d been putting off an important conversation that needed to be had.

With his motherfucking old man.

His old man who’d not only fucked with Cage’s life, but had almost ended his own life because he was a stubborn old bastard with a bad temper who was so busy worrying about everyone else he hadn’t been taking care of himself.

“Cage?”

Cage lifted his head just enough to see Tegen standing beside him, her green eyes filled with concern. “Are you going to puke again?”

Yes. Yes, he was.

He tried to glare at her. “No,” he bit out. “And stop treatin’ me like a little fuckin’ girl.”

“Stop acting like one,” she snapped.

“You treat all sick people like fuckin’ shit?” he muttered. “Or just me?”

“I’ll admit,” she said, her tone laced with sarcasm, “that my bedside manner leaves much to be desired, but you, you fucker, are not sick. You are cracked out, tweaking, wishing you were high. There is a fucking difference and if you don’t stop looking like you’re plotting ways to lose me and run straight to your friendly neighborhood drug dealer slash underage hooker extraordinaire, I’m packing up my shit and going back to California.”

“She isn’t underage,” he hissed.

“Out of everything I just said!” she yelled, making him wince. “That’s what you’re focusing on?”

Shaking his head, he stood up straight and turned toward her. “I’m not havin’ this conversation again. Not inside a fuckin’ hospital, not when I’m about to go see my old man laid up in bed because he almost fuckin’ died less than fifty fuckin’ feet from me and I was too fucked-up to even know it was happenin’. Not fuckin’ now, Tegen.”

“Cage,” she shot back. “You’re stalling. Put on your big girl panties, stop acting like a little bitch, and get in that room and talk to your father. Otherwise, we are going back home and you are going back to bed, where you should be anyway!”

He wanted to yell at her. Fuck, he wanted to knock her out for talking to him the way she did. But instead of yelling at her or adding “beating on women” to his list of wrongdoings, he smiled at her.

Home. She’d called his house “home.”

If he didn’t feel like at any moment he was going to lose what little bile remained inside of his stomach, he would have grabbed her, thrown her up against the wall, and tongue-fucked her mouth until she goddamn choked on her bad attitude.

Fuck, he loved her. He fucking loved the shit out of her.

She was crazy. She was loud and demanding and meaner than hell sometimes. She didn’t listen to a damn thing he said, she did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to do it, and the bitch loved to fight. All the damn time. Face slapping, shin kicking, balls to the wall, knock-down-and-drag-out fights.

But she fought like she loved. Hard. And he hadn’t ever been loved like this; he knew he wouldn’t ever be loved like this by anyone else.

She was his. She’d always been his, and if he’d taken half a second to look up from all that pussy he’d been eating, he would have realized way back when that he was hers. Always had been.

“Why are you smiling?” she demanded, narrowing her eyes. “Are you high? Did you get high while I was in the bathroom?”

His smile fell. “Shut up,” he muttered, turning away from her. “For two motherfuckin’ seconds.”

She was suddenly in front of him, sliding her arms up around his shoulders and pressing her body up against his.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, brushing her lips against his. “I’m just worried about you.”

Taking his bottom lip between her teeth, she sucked it inside her mouth and then darted her tongue in between his parted lips. Groaning, he wrapped his arms around her small waist, took an ass cheek in each of his hands and, despite how sick he felt, kissed her hard.

“Let’s go home,” he growled softly against her mouth. “I need inside of you.”

Beautiful green eyes, full of need and dancing with laughter, blinked up at him.

“You need to talk to him,” she said, giggling. “You haven’t seen him since…before…”

She stopped talking and grabbed him, held him close, and hugged him tight. “You need to talk to him, Cage,” she whispered. “Then we’ll go home.”

Yeah. He needed to talk to his old man. Only problem was, what the fuck was he supposed to say to a man who’d just had a massive heart attack? He couldn’t flip the fuck out like he wanted to, accuse him of destroying his relationship with the only woman who’d ever given a fuck about him…when it may very well throw the bastard into another heart attack.

Yeah, he might hate his old man, but he didn’t want him to die. Because maybe he still loved him too. Just a little.

The elevator doors beside them dinged and Ellie, her face streaked with tears, ran out into the hallway, Dirty following closely behind her.

“Hey,” he called out. Dirty stopped as Ellie kept walking.

He gave Dirty an inquisitive look. “What’s up?”

The man shook his head. “It’s her mom, brother,” he said. “It ain’t good.”

Cage nodded as he studied Dirty. “You need anything, dude?”

Dirty shook his head again. “Just her,” he said quietly and turned away.

Cage watched as he doubled his pace, catching quickly up to Ellie. Dirty’s arm shot out and hooked around her waist, and together they turned the corner and disappeared out of sight.

“I hate that you fucked her,” Tegen snarled.

“Once!” he yelled. “Years ago! I barely even remember it!”

“Whatever,” Tegen muttered. “Is it just me or are they are so fucking weird together? I mean, how in the hell did Ellie end up with Dirty?”

Cage laughed quietly. “Right. ’Cause this right here,” he said, pointing between the two of them, “is real motherfuckin’ normal.”

Tegen crossed her arms under her breasts, causing his eyes to shoot straight to the small amount of cleavage that popped up over the edge of her tank top. He loved that she was gaining weight. Fucking loved it.

“There isn’t anything wrong with us,” she said.

He snorted. “Yeah, okay,” he said, laughing, still staring at her tits. He was so fucking horny. It had been over a year since he’d last been inside of her and he was aching for it. The fact that he couldn’t hold a damn erection because he was too busy being half out of his mind wishing he was high was pissing him off, more than the fact that he’d let his life fall so far down the shitter not even a drain snake could give him a helping hand.

It was official—he was the biker brat equivalent to a spoiled rich kid who’d thrown his life away…just because. And he hated himself for it.

If Tegen weren’t here… Jesus, fuck, he didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if she hadn’t come back.

“I wanna fuck you so bad,” he said, reaching for her. She sidestepped him and the next thing he knew she was slapping her palms against his shoulders and shoving him backward.

“Go talk to your father,” she said firmly. “Right now.”

“Will you blow me afterward?” he asked, grinning at the elderly couple that was passing by them, their eyes wide with surprise.

“Yes,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But only if you promise to come all over my tits like a good little boy.”

The elderly man stopped walking and gaped at Tegen, who subsequently winked at him. Literally choking on her shock, the man’s wife grabbed his arm and yanked him toward the far elevator.

Laughing like a maniac, Tegen continued shoving him backward down the hallway and he let her, relishing in the smile on her face, just thanking God that she was here, with him, and…fuck him, she was happy.

“Ready?” she asked, stopping in front of a room he guessed was his father’s.

“No.”

Shaking her head, Tegen pushed open the door and walked inside. Sighing, his stomach nothing but a bundle of nerves, he followed her in and stopped when he saw his father. Lying in a hospital bed, dressed in a goddamn hospital gown, hooked up to machines and IVs, his long blond and gray hair splayed out over the pillow behind his head, was Deuce. Cage just stared. He’d never seen his father in such a vulnerable state. Not that the man looked weak by any means, just the opposite actually. He looked like he was too damn big for the bed, and if he pulled too hard on any of the equipment he was hooked up to, he’d break it instantly.

Deuce glanced from him to Tegen and back to him. Cage watched as his father took in his appearance. A look of relief crossed the man’s features.

“How long?” he asked.

“Since the last time he fucked up?” Tegen asked and Cage’s eyes shot to her. She folded her arms across her chest and cocked her hip out. “Three days. Three very long, very horrible days.”

“Fuck you!” Cage spat. “Was tellin’ him that really fuckin’ necessary?”

She shrugged indifferently. “Yes.”

Cage’s nostrils flared and his fists clenched but before he could come back at her, his father burst out laughing. Deep, body-shaking laughs wracked the man’s body and Cage just stood there and stared. Who the fuck was this guy? Sure as fuck wasn’t his old man.

“Tegen,” Deuce said, trying to catch his breath. “You give us a minute, darlin’?”

Cage watched in horror as the word “darlin’” fell out of his old man’s mouth and Tegen’s face lit up like a goddamn firecracker.

“Sure,” she said, smiling, all adorable and shit at Deuce. What the fuck? What the motherfuck? He’d seen it before, his old man putting on the charm and thongs falling off pussies all around the world. But…Tegen?

She hated Deuce. She thought Deuce was an arrogant, pigheaded, sexist Neanderthal!

And she was his fucking woman!

Cage glared at her as she practically skipped from the room, still smiling. He turned his glare back to his father. “Don’t ever call her that again,” he demanded angrily.

Deuce held his hands up. “I’ll leave you to it,” he said, fighting a smile.

Cage wasn’t satisfied. “She’s mine,” he said.

Deuce’s brow hit his hairline. “Jesus, fuck,” he said. “I don’t fuckin’ want her. What kind of crazy shit you thinkin’?”

“Nothin’,” Cage muttered.

Deuce narrowed his eyes, then shook his head. Gesturing to a seat near his hospital bed, he said, “Sit the fuck down.”

Cage gritted through the anger he felt at being treated like a dog and instead of exploding like he wanted to, did as he was told.

Deuce eyed him knowingly. “Shoulda listened to that old bastard,” he muttered. “Blue said, when you couldn’t have been no more than two years old, that you were just like me. He said you were gonna be throwin’ a whole lotta bullshit my way, told me I was gonna have a handful with you. And instead of listenin’, I told myself you had everything you could fuckin’ want and what you didn’t have I’d make sure and get for you, so ain’t no way you were goin’ to be gettin’ yourself into nearly as much trouble as I did. Told myself a whole lotta bullshit, I guess, ’cause in the end you weren’t just as dumb as I was, you were a whole lot fuckin’ dumber.”

Cage’s nostrils flared wildly as he fought to keep himself from throwing a punch, his anger only increasing when Deuce grinned at him.

“You gonna hit a sick old man?”

When Cage said nothing, Deuce’s grin grew. “Listen up, boy,” he said. “I’m man enough to admit when I fucked shit up and I sure fucked up with you. Thought by givin’ you everything I had, I was givin’ you everything I never had.”

Deuce shook his head and laughed softly to himself. “Straight-up bullshit. Shoulda let you figure your shit out on your own, shoulda let you fall the fuck down and pick yourself back up, shoulda let you make your own goddamn mistakes instead of takin’ care of everything for you behind your back, and I shoulda let you hop on that crazy bus with that crazy little red-haired shit. I know it now and I’m tellin’ you I’m fuckin’ sorry for fuckin’ with your life. Thought I was doin’ what was right, thought I was bein’ the way an old man should be, and it turns out I was just doin’ what I do best and fuckin’ everything up.”

Surprised, Cage blinked at his father. What?

“Listen to me carefully,” Deuce continued. “All my bullshit—my family, my club, my boys—it’s always been yours. You’re my oldest son, my motherfuckin’ legacy. You’ve got my love, my goddamn name, you got my colors on your back, you’ve got first fuckin’ dibs on everything I’ve ever had. You want to throw it all way, pass it the fuck on, live a different sorta life, you do what you gotta do, but it’s always been yours, Cage, whether you wanted it or not, that shit ain’t ever changed.”

Deuce looked away for a second as shame passed over his face, or was that regret? Then he looked back and held Cage’s gaze head on. “Me doin’ what I did, gettin’ between you and Tegen, I was doin’ what I thought was best for you. Didn’t think she could cut it, bein’ the old lady to a club prez. This job of mine, the job I’ll be passin’ down to you soon enough, you can’t be havin’ a woman breathin’ down your neck all damn day, wantin’ out of the life, hatin’ the club. You gotta have your damn head in the game and your woman at home, fuckin’ waitin’ on you, ready to take that bad fuckin’ day, bad month, bad fuckin’ year you’ve had, and let you bury that shit between her damn thighs without giving you shit about it. And all I saw from Tegen was her givin’ you, givin’ the club, nothin’ but shit. I was lookin’ out for you but it fuckin’ backfired and for that, I’m damn sorry.”

Cage swallowed hard. Now, what the fuck did he say to that?

“Had a long talk with that woman of yours,” Deuce said, smiling again. “She’s ready. She’s gotta good head on her shoulders, she knows the ins and outs of the club, and she loves the boys. Most importantly, though, she fuckin’ loves your dumb ass.”

Hearing that, Cage smiled and Deuce snorted.

“Yeah, she’s fuckin’ ready and I ain’t goin’ to be buttin’ in where I don’t fuckin’ belong no more.”

Cage raised an eyebrow; he didn’t believe that line of bullshit for a second.

“Listen up,” Deuce said. “I’m about ready to turn the game on, so if you got somethin’ to say, you need to get some shit off your chest and tell me what a fuckin’ asshole I am, then you better get to it or I’m kickin’ you the fuck outta here.”

Grabbing the arms of the chair, Cage pushed himself into a standing position. “I ain’t got shit to say,” he said quietly. He didn’t; his old man had surprised him and for the first time in his life, Cage didn’t have a damn thing to say back.

“I’m proud of you,” Deuce said. “You should know that. You’re a good man and I know once you get your shit straightened out, you’re gonna be just fine runnin’ the club.”

The two men stared at each other until Cage broke the silence. “Yeah,” he said. “Thank you.”

Deuce waved him off. “Get the fuck outta here.”

Rolling his eyes, Cage turned to leave.

“One last thing.”

Cage turned around.

“Don’t let that one catch you stickin’ your shit where it don’t belong. She’s damn crazy and she’ll fuckin’ shoot your ass.”

Cage blew out a noisy, amused breath. “Don’t fuckin’ worry about that. I ain’t you.”

“In that case,” Deuce shot back. “Best stake out that territory right the fuck now instead of waitin’ like I did. Worst fuckin’ mistake I ever made.”

• • •

Deuce’s loud laughter followed Cage into the hallway where I was waiting for him. I took the silly smile on his face as a good sign. Despite how sick he’d been, he looked better than he had in days.

“Good talk?” I asked.

He didn’t respond, just continued to advance on me until we were nose to nose.

I raised my eyebrows. “Uh, not a good talk?”

“Marry me,” he said quietly.

Two words. Two stupid words and my stomach burst into a thousand butterflies, retarded butterflies who didn’t have a clue where they were going and were bumping into one another like drunken bumper car drivers.

“No!” I shouted, and was about to shove him off me when he caught my wrists and quickly backed me up against the wall.

“Marry me,” he repeated.

“Hell no,” I said firmly, sounding a lot calmer than I felt.

“Gimme one good reason why the fuck not?” he demanded.

I stared up at him, my heart pounding, feeling like at any moment it was going to pound its way straight out of my chest and fall to the floor where it would flop around like a dying fish.

“’Cause the way I’m seein’ it is unless you plan on runnin’ away again or gettin’ with some other asshole, you’re mine and I’m about ready to let the whole damn world know it.”

My already clammy body broke out in a cold sweat.

“You gonna run again, Tegen?”

I shook my head.

“My dick enough for you?”

I nodded.

He glared at me. “Then what’s the fuckin’ problem?”

What was the problem? What was the fucking problem, exactly? I wracked my brain searching for the problem and came up empty.

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

His lips split into a smile and dimples popped out everywhere. I lost what little breath I had left inside my lungs. “Teacup,” he whispered. “If you ain’t got a problem, then fuckin’ marry me.”

That’s when I realized what my problem was.

I didn’t have a problem. Not a single one.

Standing here in front of me was the one and only man I’d ever loved, loving me back, asking me to marry him. To spend the rest of my life with him and only him, because he loved me just that fucking much, so fucking much he wanted me to be his wife.

My eyes filled. That was my problem. I didn’t have one. I’d spent my entire life surrounded by problems, wishing and aching for things I knew would never happen.

But they had. And now my poor mind didn’t know what to do with itself.

Blinking caused tears to spill over and run down my cheeks and then Cage was there kissing them away almost as fast as I was producing them.

“Marry me,” he said, pressing his lips, wet with my tears, against my mouth.

My mouth opened and Cage’s tongue took advantage and shot inside.

“Marry me,” he mumbled as he kissed me, refusing to let me answer, kissing me harder each time I tried to pull away from him. “Marry me, Teacup.”

“Okay,” I said breathlessly, threading my fingers through his hair as I kissed him back with equal ferociousness.

Cage went still and with my head in his hands, pushed me away from him.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Okay,” I said, pulling him back to me. “But I don’t want a big stupid ring like Danny’s.”

“Shut up,” he muttered.

“No, I’m serious, Cage. I don’t—”

Cage’s mouth crashed down again on mine and I didn’t have much of a choice.

I shut right the fuck up.