Chapter 29

Michael

hat saying “she takes my breath away” used to irritate the shit out of me, but when Dani opens the door, I instantly get it. The sight of her steals the breath from my lungs, even though she's staring daggers at me with her arms folded over her chest.

“Hey.” Nice, Michael. She's carrying your kid and hasn't talked to you for weeks because you were an asshole and all you have is “hey.”

“What do you want?”

I think back to my conversation with the guys a couple of days ago. “I’m sorry. I was an asshole.”

“Yes, you were.” She doesn’t budge.

“I was scared.” I swallow hard and look into her eyes. “I’m still fucking terrified.”

Her arms drop to her sides, and I notice her slightly protruding belly. Then I look into her eyes, trying to summon the strength to explain.

“You think I’m not terrified? You met my mother. I’m scared I won't have a clue what to do.”

She’s scared too? “You’re nothing like your mother. You’ll be incredible.”

“And you were raised by incredible parents, Michael.”

“And then they fucking died! When I was ten years old, Dani. Some days I struggle to remember them.”

I try to calm down as she takes a step back but still stands tall, not faltering.  “The memories are there. And then, you had Brooke and Dylan and Jax, and Alex, and Shriller . . .”

“And Julia.” I grimace just saying her name.

Her face softens, and she looks slightly sick. “I know you’ve been through terrible things. I had no illusions that you would be perfect. No one is.”

“I’m an addict, Dani. Odds say, I’ll relapse again. Do you really want that for your child? To have an addict for a father.”

“The baby does have an addict for a father, Michael, but that doesn’t mean you will be a bad father. Look at all the things you’ve done this year alone.”

I take a step closer to her, taking a deep breath and inhaling her clean scent. Her mint shampoo makes me smile. I always thought it was calming. “I’m so fucking sorry for what I said. I know it’s my baby. I know you didn’t plan this. I suck at emotions and this love stuff.”

Her head lifts so I can see her eyes clearly. “You don't have to do this, to come here and try to say all the right things. Don't tell me you love me, Michael, just so you can appease your family and do the right thing. I don’t want anything from you.”

“Dani, I’m not here because of anyone else. I’m here because of you. I’m a fuck-up, I just am. My idea of love is fucking warped.”

“What do you mean?”

My head slumps downward as I’m unable to look into her eyes. “She used to tell me she loved me.”

“Julia?”

I nod, still unable to look at her. “Yes. Afterward, she'd whisper in my ear how much she loved me.” I finally meet her gaze, her dark eyes watching me intently and giving me strength. “I never felt it for her, but I was confused until I met you.”

“She was a twisted bitch.”

I want to touch her so fucking bad, but I resist. “I finally realized that wasn't love, not even close.” My hand grazes her cheek. “But with you? God, I love you. I'd die for you. Happily. I keep trying so hard not to hurt you, but it’s all I seem to end up doing.”

A tear falls down her cheek, but Dani is frozen as my hand stills on her cheek, holding her gaze.

“I think about you every day and how you saved me, time and time again, expecting nothing in return.”

My other hand grips the side of her face as another tear falls, and I brush it away with my thumb.

“That's not entirely true.”

My eyes search hers. “No? What do you need? I'll give you anything.”

“You, dummy.” Her voice is a whisper as a smile pulls at my lips.

“I don't want an out, Dani. You're all I want. And the baby. And a gloriously, happy life with you both. I’ll give it everything I have.”

“Are you sure?”

“About you? Yes. I’ve never been certain about anything in my life except for you. I thought I needed to get my shit together first.”

“Love doesn’t wait for you to get your life together, it’s along for the ride.”

My lips near hers, dying to touch them. “I do love you Dani.”

She sighs softly against me. “I believe you. I’m starting to not hate the fact that I love you.”

“I can work with that.” My mouth presses against hers, and I hold onto her and kiss her like it’s the first time.

No more fear.