Thirteen
It was the worst day of Emma’s whole life. She was fingerprinted, booked into custody and placed in the detention center with other female inmates. One of them, about twenty years older than her, gave her dirty looks that made her want to curl up and die. She accused Emma of having her locked up, for reasons Emma couldn’t understand. She’d never seen the woman before.
She sat by herself, huddled up, while around her inmates in various stages of drug and alcohol withdrawal, or just plain miserable, sat on cots in their orange uniforms and wished they were somewhere else.
Emma looked at her ring finger and winced. Connor had pulled her rings off so roughly that he’d bruised her finger. He’d been drinking, she reminded herself, and he was probably so angry that he wasn’t thinking straight. He must hate her. He remembered a woman who didn’t like him, who’d resented his warnings about driving Mamie’s boat. He thought she’d hit him on purpose. Now he was getting even.
She gave a thought to the tiny life that she was certain was growing inside her. She hoped she could lie convincingly and make Connor believe that she wasn’t pregnant, so that she could save her child. He’d said he was sending divorce papers to her, and that would mean Alistair would bring them. Perhaps she could convince him, so that he could convince Connor.
It was such a shock to be in jail. They’d allowed her one phone call. She’d wanted to call Mamie, but no overseas calls were allowed. So, in desperation, she called her father. He was, as usual, drunk. When she told him what she wanted, he exploded in anger. His child, a jailbird? Nobody in his entire family had ever ended up in jail. She was no longer his child. He didn’t want anything else to do with her, he told her, cursing all the while. She could go to hell. And he’d hung up on her.
She wasn’t without friends. She could have called Cash Grier. She had no doubt that he’d have flown to North Georgia and bailed her out himself. But that would put him up against one of the richest men in the world, and Cash had two little kids. She couldn’t put him, or Tippy, in that position.
She had no money. Her checkbook was empty since she hadn’t been drawing a salary since her marriage, and she’d spent the last of her savings on a wedding present for Connor, a new expensive wallet. She grimaced as she imagined him throwing it into the fireplace now. She had a little in her savings account, but she didn’t have her bankbook. All her things were still at Connor’s house. None of them would add up to the amount she’d need to make bond. Apparently Connor, or Alistair, had talked to the prosecutor, because bail was set high at her arraignment.
Soon after her arrest, she’d had a visit from a harried public defender. He’d gone over her case and was fairly optimistic until she mentioned who was pressing charges. Then he’d gone very quiet. Of course he knew who Connor Sinclair was. He’d promised that he’d do what he could. He mentioned putting up bond, but she told him she owned no property. A property bond was impossible. She had no money, either. That meant she’d have to sit in jail until her case was called to trial. He added that it could take months, even possibly a year, before that happened, considering the current state of the court docket.
He left her even more depressed than she’d been before. She had a cousin in Comanche Wells, in addition to the father who’d disowned her, but to involve her cousin would risk having Cash learn about her situation and come to save her. She couldn’t let Connor go after him. Cash and Tippy had done so much for her. She owed them too much to let them know what a miserable situation she’d landed herself in.
So she sat in the detention center, growing more and more edgy by the day, while she waited in vain for her case to be called.
* * *
Sudie, a fellow inmate but much older, became protective of her when the antagonistic inmate she’d met on her first day at the detention center pushed her off her feet and hit her.
“You back off,” Sudie told the other woman, her gray hair sticking straight out from her broad head. She was big, burly, and most of the other inmates didn’t mess with her.
The other woman, Jackie by name, glared at her. “That’s my damned sister.” She pointed at Emma. “She put me in here, and I’m going to kill her! You won’t stop me!”
“Jackie, your sister lives in Atlanta,” Sudie tried to convince her. “She’s not in jail.”
“Yes, she is. I know my own kin when I see them. That’s her. You’re gonna die!” she told Emma with such venom that Emma felt sick. “I’m gonna kill you. Just wait. Nobody’s going to save you. Not even her!” She indicated Sudie.
But Jackie did go away. Sudie put an arm around Emma. “Don’t worry,” she said when she felt Emma shaking. “It’s okay. I won’t let her hurt you.”
Tears ran hotly down her cheeks. “Thanks. I wish I could repay you,” she began.
Sudie waved that away. “We’re all in here because we’re in trouble. We get by if we help each other. Some of the guards are nice. Some are just pure evil. That one—” she indicated a tall male guard who was watching them “—he likes pretty women. You make sure you scream if he tries anything. He’s twitchy. He’ll try something if he’s not under the cameras. But if you scream, he’ll back off.”
“I never dreamed that I’d end up here,” Emma said miserably.
“What did you do, baby?” Sudie asked.
“I hit a man with a speedboat.” Her eyes closed. “He was blinded. I was so scared. I didn’t do it on purpose, but he thinks I did.”
Sudie patted her back. “You’ll have a chance to tell your story when you get in front of a judge. Ever been in trouble with the law before?”
“Never in my life,” was the reply. “I’ve never even had a parking ticket!”
“Then you’ll get first offender status. It will be okay.” She frowned. “The man you hit, he wasn’t over sixty-five, was he?” she added worriedly.
“No! Why?”
“Bigger penalty if you hurt somebody elderly.” She smiled at Emma’s surprise. “Most of us know something about the law.” She rolled her eyes. “This isn’t my first time around the block. I’ve been in trouble since I was fourteen. This latest wrangle is because I stole an expensive car and went joyriding in it.” She shook her head. “‘Grand Theft Auto’ is a great video game. In real life, it’s not so much fun.”
Emma smiled. “Thanks for saving me.”
Sudie shrugged. “Not a problem. Stick with me, kid. I’ll keep you safe.” She motioned to another inmate, one who was as thin as Sudie was hefty. “This is Emma,” she told the other woman with an affectionate smile. “We’re adopting her.”
“Hi. I’m Delsa,” the other woman said. She hugged Emma. “Welcome to the family.”
Emma laughed self-consciously. “Thanks.” She looked at them worriedly. “I’ve read books about jail. I don’t have any cigarettes...”
They both laughed. “We don’t smoke,” they assured her. “But where we’ll be going, cigarettes are a very valuable commodity. She’s in for reckless driving or hit-and-run, something like that, but she’s a first offender,” Sudie told her friend.
“She’ll be out in no time,” Delsa agreed. “Have they set a bond hearing yet?”
“I don’t have any money,” Emma said complacently. “So I’m here until my case comes up in court.”
They both grimaced.
“It’s not so bad,” Emma replied in her soft voice. “The food is nice, and so is the company.”
They both smiled.
“Thanks, kid,” Sudie said gently. “Been a long time since I’ve been called nice company.”
“People get in trouble for all sorts of reasons,” Emma said. “My parents were sticklers for going to church. They taught me that you never judge other people.”
“Can’t you call your parents to get you out?” Delsa asked.
“My mother’s been dead a long time.” She lowered her eyes. “I called my dad. He disowned me.” She sighed and forced a smile. “So thanks for adopting me. I guess I’m an orphan.”
“My dad threw me out of the house when I was ten,” Sudie said. “I was glad to go. I got tired of getting beat up when he was high. He died of an overdose, I heard. My mom’s still on the streets, making her living.”
“I only had my mother,” Delsa said sadly. “She died when I was eleven. I had to go on the streets to survive.” She made a face. “My pimp taught me how to steal. I’ve been doing it ever since. Wouldn’t know how to make an honest living.”
“Me, neither,” Sudie agreed. She shook a finger at Emma. “You didn’t hear that,” she said firmly. “If you’re gonna be our kid, you have to turn out right. Got that?”
Emma beamed. “Okay.”
“Gonna raise some eyebrows when we put that out. Her being our kid.” Sudie grinned.
It was true. They were very dark-skinned with curly hair and jet-black eyes. Emma was blonde.
“We should of got married.” Delsa sighed. “Not easy, being like us, even in 2017.”
Emma looked from one to the other. “Are you a couple?”
They both nodded.
Emma just smiled. “I think how people want to live their lives is their business. You’ll get no judgments from me.”
Sudie hugged her. “Now I know you’re my kid!”
Emma laughed.
* * *
It was a long process, getting used to being incarcerated. So many restrictions. In the shower room, Emma was always with her two companions. If she hadn’t been, Jackie would have been on her like a duck on a June bug. She kept making threats. Emma got to know one of the detention guards, a kindly older woman named Bess. She mentioned it to her.
“She’s got mental problems,” Bess told her quietly. “You watch out for her. But you’re in good hands.” She indicated Emma’s friends. “Nobody’s going to risk getting in bad with them to get to you. They’re dangerous.”
“They’re so sweet,” Emma defended them.
Bess smiled. “I guess different people bring out different qualities in people. They had a rough start in life. It has an effect.”
“Yes, it does.”
“No chance that he might drop the charges?” Bess asked aloud.
Emma sighed. “I blinded him,” she said simply. “I should have stopped to see about him. But I was too afraid. He’s suffered so terribly. We have to pay for the things we do in life. God forgives. But He exacts a price when we hurt people. And that’s the way it should be.”
Bess grimaced. “You’re a good person, Emma. I’m sorry this happened to you.”
Emma smiled. “It will all come right, one day. If he could regain his sight, I’d stay in here forever. I’d do anything if he could see again. I love him...so much.” Her voice broke.
Bess didn’t reply. She felt sorry for the man who’d thrown Emma to the wolves. One day he’d come to his senses and realize that he was exacting punishment for an accident. But it might be too late by then.
* * *
Emma was sick every morning. Jackie noticed and it set her off. She started raging about her sister bringing a child into the world who’d be corrupt and hateful like she was. She told Emma she was going to make sure that baby didn’t live.
Connor had made the same threat. He hadn’t sent her any more messages, but Alistair, who contacted her through her public defender, said he’d been out of the country. Emma was sure that Connor had meant what he said. If she’d been out of jail she might have been able to find a way to hide her pregnancy. Here, confined, there was no hope.
She touched her stomach lightly and sighed. If only her life had been less complicated. If she’d had a loving father, a happy marriage...
Wishing was useless. She pulled herself up. Adversity was like the tempering of steel. It would make her stronger, better. She kept telling herself that, repeating it like a mantra while she worried about the threats to her poor unborn child. She wanted it so much. Please, God, she thought silently, don’t punish my child for what I’ve done.
* * *
They were going to send Emma to a doctor to be checked after Bess realized that she was showing the symptoms of pregnancy. They assured her that they weren’t going to do anything to harm her or the child, but Emma was worried.
She wasn’t paying attention when she started back to her detention cell, or she might have noticed that Jackie had gotten up from the table with an odd smile and was following her.
Halfway down the hall, with guards all around, Jackie jumped at her. There was the flash of a small, metallic object, and Emma felt the impact of the blade in her stomach.
“No!” she screamed.
“Pregnant, are you, Peggy?” Jackie raged. “Well, you’re not bringing a child in the world to be as evil as you are! I told you I’d get you, I told you!”
Emma tried to defend herself, but the older woman was uncannily strong. She kept striking at Emma’s stomach with the small homemade shiv. Emma felt blood and hoped it was from her poor hands, which she’d used to help ward off the attack, and not her stomach. Please, she pleaded silently, please, don’t let her hurt my baby!
Bess came running with another guard. They wrestled Jackie down to the floor and handcuffed her. She was still yelling threats and curses when they dragged her away.
Emma didn’t hear her. She was on the floor, bleeding, sobbing.
“Get an ambulance!” Bess said frantically.
* * *
Connor had stayed drunk for the better part of a month. He’d moved the whole household to Nice, where he went from one business meeting to another when he was sober enough. When he wasn’t, he delegated his responsibilities, talked on the phone and filled the house with people. He made sure there was enough noise to drown out his conscience.
Emma had tricked him. She’d run over him with the boat and blinded him, then she’d lured him into marriage by withholding her body until he was so besotted that he’d have done anything to get her into bed.
He hated her. She’d made herself so necessary that he still missed her. Well, she was paying for it now, he assured himself angrily. She’d be under threat of prosecution until he decided whether or not he wanted to withdraw the charges.
He wondered if she thought about him at all, now that he’d discovered her secret. Probably she was back at her father’s ranch, leeching off him. He recalled that her father hated her, and rationalized that he’d forgiven her in her time of trouble and taken her back in. She might have gone back to work for Mamie van Dyke, which was why he was in Nice. He didn’t want to take any chance of seeing her again, even from a distance.
He hadn’t phoned Mamie. He heard through mutual friends that she was at some inaccessible spot in the Middle East now, still researching a book. She would have bailed Emma out, even if her father hadn’t. Lucky Emma. So many people who would give a damn. He didn’t. He hated her guts. She’d taken away his vision. He’d never forgive her for it!
* * *
He’d just come back from an organizational meeting for a new plant in France when he took a wrong step and fell down the stairs.
He heard gasps around him. It didn’t hurt, really. He was very fit, despite his disability. He worked out in his private gym at his ocean property every day to make sure of it. He caught himself, even though his head took a sharp blow.
He sat up, laughing. “I’m all right,” he said. And then, suddenly, light burst in front of his face.
He shivered. Light. Then blue ocean. Then sand. Then Barnes, with a shocked expression on his face.
“Mr. Sinclair?” he asked worriedly.
“I can see!” Connor exclaimed. He fought a mist in his eyes. “My God, Barnes, I can see!”
“Oh, thank God!” Barnes helped him up. “Are you all right, sir?”
“Just shaken.” He ignored the bystanders. “Take me to Dr. Fouget’s office, will you?”
“Right away! Sir, what wonderful news!”
“It is, isn’t it?” He blinked. “The light is blinding. I can’t quite focus.”
“Because it’s so sudden, I imagine. I’ll get there in a flash, sir.”
* * *
The doctor, whom Connor had known for many years, examined him and grinned. “No ill effects from the blow to the head. Except returned vision.” He pursed his lips. “I told you it was hysterical blindness. You saw something coming toward your eyes, felt a blow and assumed you were blinded. I’ve seen several cases of it over the years. Not one of the victims was emotionally compromised or mentally unstable,” he added drily.
“I still can’t believe it,” Connor said, his heart lifting. “I thought I’d go through the rest of my life blind as a bat.”
“Just take it slow. Don’t try to do too much,” the doctor advised. “It may be difficult for a few days. You’ll have to adjust to returned vision. It may take a little time.”
“I don’t care. I’ll do anything. Thanks,” he added huskily, and shook the physician’s hand.
“I didn’t do anything. Thank the staircase that tripped you,” he mused. “Let me know if there are any complications. And avoid sunlight for a couple of days, just until you adjust.”
“I’ll do that.”
* * *
Marie burst into tears. “Sir, it’s like a miracle,” she wailed. “I’m so happy for you!”
“As are we all,” Edward agreed, grinning. “I will make a special dish in honor of the occasion.”
“If it contains creamed chicken, you’ll feature in a dish yourself,” Barnes threatened.
“No chicken. I swear.”
Connor chuckled. He drew in a long breath and went to the patio to look out on the ocean. He’d never realized how much color there was in the world, how much beauty. The transition from black to color was shocking. He felt a little dizzy and the colors were too vivid, but he knew he’d adjust.
As for being quiet...
He got on the phone and called everyone he knew, inviting them over for a huge celebration party. He instructed Edward to hire a caterer to help him with food, and he called in a party planner to manage things. He felt ten years younger. He could see. He was going to be fine.
He spared one cold thought for Emma, with the charges still hanging over her head. He might drop them. But she needed to live with them for a while longer. After all, his vision returning was a fluke. For all she knew, she’d blinded him for life. There was one thing he did have to do, though.
He phoned Alistair and had him draw up divorce papers. “Get her signature on them,” he added. “You’ll have to track her down. She lives in a town somewhere south of San Antonio. And find out if she’s pregnant,” he added, feeling a twinge of guilt because he hadn’t done a thing to prevent a child. He’d been so besotted with her that, for a few days, he’d even longed to get her pregnant.
“If she is?” Alistair asked worriedly.
“Tell her we’ll drop the charges if she gets rid of it, and I won’t argue the point,” he said icily.
Alistair sighed. “Yes, sir. Shall I send the papers overnight to you for your signature?”
“No,” Connor said. “I’ll be coming back to the lake house in a couple of days. I’ll sign them then. Meanwhile, we’re having the party to end all parties here tonight.”
“I wish I was there.”
“I could send the jet.” Connor chuckled.
“I was kidding. I’m not much of a party person. I’ll get the papers arranged and find out where to send them for Emma’s signature. It may take a few days.”
“No rush. Just do it.”
“Yes, sir.”
* * *
It was a night full of fun and frivolity. Connor flirted with the ravishing women present, kissed one or two of them, ate exquisite gourmet food and filled his glass over and over with the most expensive champagne.
But despite the joy, he still felt empty. He kept remembering Emma’s comment about casinos and crickets.
He didn’t want to miss her. But he did. She’d become so much a part of his life that it was like having a limb removed to be without her. He had to keep in mind that she’d lied to him. She’d hit him with the boat deliberately. She might have even meant to kill him.
As soon as that thought presented itself, he remembered Emma in the bathroom with him, holding a wet washcloth to his face after he’d thrown his guts up. She was tender with him. She couldn’t have pretended that. She had a soft heart. She worried about total strangers. He remembered seeing her walking along the lake with the lost child, and it was like a knife through his guts. She’d given five thousand dollars to a church in Nassau, when she hardly had a dime of her own.
He blamed her for blinding him. But had she seen him when she came around the bend in the lake? The sun had been behind him. It might have blinded her, just in those few seconds, and he’d been too far out in the lake. He hadn’t been paying attention. Was it just an accident? Had he been looking for a way out, for an end to the hunger that kept him on the rack day and night? Had he blamed her so that he had an excuse to throw her out of his life, before he was unable to let her go at all?
He hated his own thoughts. He poured himself another glass of champagne and went back to the live band. He was divorcing her. Nothing else mattered. He hooked his arm around the first pretty woman he saw and drew her onto the dance floor.
* * *
Alistair Sims was absolutely shell-shocked by what he saw when he was allowed into Emma’s hospital room.
She was crying. Absolutely sobbing.
“My God,” he said softly. “What happened to you?”
She swallowed. Her eyes were swollen and red. “This woman... She thought I was her sister. She said she was going to make sure I didn’t bring a baby into the world who’d be just like me. I lost my baby.” Her eyes were tragic.
“I’m so sorry,” he managed. His throat was tight.
She lowered her eyes. “She stabbed me, over and over and over. They said the shiv had a small blade or I might have developed peritonitis and died.” She hiccuped. “I wish I’d died! My baby!” She sobbed. “My baby!”
The nurse who’d checked her when she came in said they’d run tests but it was pretty certain that the baby wouldn’t have survived the attack. Everyone was sorry. Emma had that effect on people, even though it was known that she’d been in jail.
Alistair didn’t know what to say. “I thought you’d made bail and gone to Texas,” he began.
She bit her lip. “I don’t have any money, Mr. Sims,” she said simply. “And I couldn’t get in touch with Mamie. My father disowned me. So I had to stay in jail until my case came up. It hasn’t yet.”
“It’s been two months.” He groaned.
She drew in a shaky breath. “I know. This woman thought I was her sister. But I made friends inside. They’ve looked out for me. But they were transferred to another facility two days ago, and there was nobody to watch my back.” Tears fell hotly down her cheeks. “I guess she’ll kill me when I go back,” she said with quiet resignation. She lay back in her hospital bed and closed her eyes. “I don’t care anymore. Life is just too horrible. If it ends, it will be all right. Maybe I’ll find peace.”
Alistair was livid.
Emma opened her eyes. “Why were you trying to find me?” she asked suddenly. She knew it wasn’t because Connor cared. He’d made that crystal clear.
He gnawed his lower lip. “Mr. Sinclair sent me with divorce papers...”
“Oh. That.” She managed a wan smile. “If you’ve got a pen, show me where to sign them. It’s okay, Mr. Sims. I never wanted anything from him, you know.”
He was fighting some strong emotions of his own. Poor little thing. He indicated the flags that marked places for her signature.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked when she handed the papers back.
She smiled sadly. “No. But thank you for asking.”
He hardly recognized this wan, tired woman. The Emma he knew from Connor’s lake house had been alive, full of fun and joy. This Emma had been to hell and looked as if she never expected to get out.
“I’m so sorry...for what’s happened to you,” he said inadequately.
“I got what I deserved, Mr. Sims,” she said simply. “I blinded Connor. I did a stupid thing. We have to pay for our sins. This is my payment. It’s all right. I don’t blame him for hating me.”
He started to tell her that Connor’s sight had returned, but she closed her eyes with a weary sigh and turned her head away.
“I think I’ll try to sleep now,” she said drowsily. She drifted off. He stood by her bedside for a moment before he let himself out and drove back to his office.
He tried to call Connor, but he couldn’t get through. Just as well, he thought irritably. If he’d said what he felt, it wouldn’t help their professional relationship. Not a bit.
So two days later, Connor asked him to come out to the lake house to talk about the divorce.
“I’ve only been home a day,” Connor remarked. He looked years younger, fit and spry. He was smiling. “It’s like a miracle, having my sight back. I’d forgotten how to move. I had to learn to do things all over again. But it’s great, being able to see.” He grimaced. “I guess maybe they were right about the cause of it. I assumed I’d be blind, so my mind tricked me into thinking I was.”
“I see.”
“Okay. About the divorce. Did you find Emma? Is she back in Texas?”
Alistair clasped his hands behind his back. “No.”
Connor frowned. “Why not?”
“She didn’t have any money for bail.”
“I didn’t think about that. All her things are still here, including her purse. Well, you can take them to her... What is it?” he asked, because Alistair’s face was a study in tragedy.
“Without money or property, you can’t make bail,” Alistair explained.
Connor’s expression went taut. “You don’t mean to tell me that she’s still in jail?” he exploded. “Good God, it’s been almost two months!”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t Mamie bail her out? Or her father?” he demanded.
“Her father disowned her because she’d been arrested,” Alistair said. “She couldn’t get in touch with Mamie. There wasn’t anybody else.”
Connor shouldn’t have felt guilty, but he did. Emma, gentle Emma, in the company of criminals every day for weeks, with nobody to help her. Emma, who would have helped the whole world, who had a heart as big as all outdoors.
“She wasn’t looking,” he said. “Neither was I. It was an accident. I was blinded, or thought I was, and I overreacted. I should have thought things through. Emma wouldn’t deliberately hurt anyone.” He remembered her voice, choked with emotion, as she whispered how much she loved him. His teeth ground together. He turned. “Get her out of there. Get her out today!”
“It may not be that easy...”
“We’ll drop the charges. I’m the one who was hurt. If I don’t prosecute, they can’t,” Connor argued. “Find a legal precedent. Hire experts. Do whatever you have to do. Just get her out of there right now!”
“I know all that,” Alistair interrupted with exaggerated patience. “What I meant was, I’m not sure they’ll let her out of the hospital right now...”
“Hospital?” He moved closer. “What hospital? What happened?”
It was harder than Alistair had thought it was going to be. He took a steadying breath. “Emma made an enemy, a woman who was mentally ill and thought Emma was the sister who’d had her arrested. She had a homemade shiv. She...stabbed Emma, several times...”
“Oh, dear God!” Connor leaned over his desk, his hands white where they gripped.
“She’ll live. The wounds weren’t that bad. It’s just...well, she lost her baby in the attack.”
Connor’s reaction was immediate, violent, totally unexpected. He kept a loaded .45 auto in his desk drawer. He had the drawer open and his hand on it almost before Alistair realized what he was going to do.
“Barnes!” Alistair screamed.
The older man came running. Marie heard scuffling sounds and then a gunshot. Muffled conversation followed. She went running, her heart racing, toward the office.
She got a glimpse of her employer, almost collapsed in Alistair Sims’s arms. “No! Oh, God, no!” Connor sobbed. His voice was deep with torment. It was almost a sob of rage, of pain so deep that words weren’t enough to express it.
“Here. Get it out of here. Hide it. And close that door!” Alistair shouted. “I’ll call the doctor. He’s going to have to be sedated.”
Barnes came out holding the pistol. He looked at Marie, his face contorted.
“What happened?” she mouthed.
He moved closer. “Emma was still in jail. She didn’t have any way to make bail. She was stabbed by another inmate. She lost her baby.”
Marie didn’t even try to stop the hot tears from tumbling down her cheeks. Barnes put the safety on the pistol and walked out toward the patio, fighting the mist in his own eyes.