Babbles…
I was doing my final proofread of Undeniably Asher and decided to completely blow up this section. This is off the cuff and unedited, so forgive any missing or misspelled words, or punctuation errors. I suck at commas.
This is my fifth full-length novel released, but I’ve actually penned seven now, and have already started on my eighth and ninth (which will all be releasing in 2016). The thing that’s different about this book, though, is it’s personal for many reasons.
There is a lot of me between these pages. A lot of truth mixed in with fiction. I leave a little bit of myself behind in every novel I write. For example, the bike story Alyse told Asher in Chapter 18? True story. It happened. As was the lie that my sister and I told our mother about crashing into each other on swings. Uninventive, but we were like ten, so cut me some slack. And last year, our family went bowling and played laser tag on Thanksgiving Day. It was my first time (not bowling, but I do suck at that, too) and I had no idea how to put on the vest or work the gun. And yes I hid in the corner for a while because I was getting smoked by my son and husband anytime I moved. It was a complete blast so guess what we’ll be doing next Thanksgiving?
I put a little of myself in all my female characters. My sass. My independence. My strength. My humor. But the thing about this book in particular is that Alyse is probably the closest character to myself that I’ve written so far. Alyse’s mother abandoned her. My father did. Alyse has a hard time letting people in. Really in. Ditto. Not many people see my damaged murky depths, because I show them only what I want them to see. Just like Alyse. But unlike Alyse, I loathe math. I’m more of an English gal myself. I didn’t have a Magic 8 ball growing up, my daughter did. I loved that thing. But the feelings of wanting to be loved unconditionally by someone? Needing your gravity? Those were mine. I was lucky enough to find an Asher. Oh, he’s not overly possessive and we don’t frequent sex clubs (exhibitionism isn’t my thang), but he’s my gravity. And I’m his.
Why are you telling me this? you’re asking yourself. Because until I started writing, I never really thought about these things when I read. I never understood how much of themselves an author leaves behind on each page. I’m not talking about their blood, sweat, tears, frustrations, Cheetos and wine stains. I’m taking about how many real tidbits they tell us if we’d only listen. And sometimes how shallow the well is they need to dig into to capture the right emotions for their story. We show little glimpses into our soul. You just need to look hard enough to find them. I read every book with a different set of lenses now (okay, so they’re readers. Don’t judge).
Finally, I need to address the dedication of this book in case you missed it. My brother, Rodney, committed suicide several years ago. It devastated our family and that never goes away, no matter how much time passes. If my mother is reading this, she’ll probably not make it through to the end. He left behind a wife, a child, shattered parents, siblings and countless other friends and family. In the book I talk about Alyse struggling with severe depression and attempting suicide not once but twice. I haven’t personally hit this low but I will admit to thinking about it a long time ago when I was also young and didn’t understand life better, so that’s where I pulled those emotions from (if you’ve made it this far, you have a glimpse into me most people do not). There are a lot of people that struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide. They affect so many people, not just the victim. It’s a shame this isn’t discussed more. It’s something that should be talked about, needs to be talked about, not held inside. If you’re at this low, or you know someone who is, there is help. In the U.S. please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. I’m sure there are similar other resources in other countries that can be found through a quick Google search.
Now onto my thanks and gratitude. This time I’m not going to name every person who’s had a hand in this book, because, let’s face it, this section has already gotten waaaay out of hand. Friends, family, bloggers, authors, editors, formatters, proofreaders, pimpers, etc: if you had a hand in this, you know who you are and you know I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am nothing but grateful for your belief in me.
I loved writing this story. It turned out better than I thought it would when I started. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I love these brothers more and more with each book I write. Thanks for taking this journey with me, for buying my book and supporting an author you love. Whether that’s me or not, your support of your favorite authors cannot be overstated.
If you like this book, please tell your friends, your neighbors, shout it from the rooftops. Hell, tell people you don’t even like! The best thing you can do to support an author you love is word of mouth and LEAVE A REVIEW on Goodreads, Amazon or wherever. Even one or two sentences or simply rating the book is helpful for other readers. Reviews are critical to getting a book exposure.