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Undercover: Secrets & Lies by Jennifer Loren (18)

CHAPTER 18

Laila

I leave him standing behind me, looking as if he actually cares what I think of him. He’s just shocked that I survived. I sit my ass down outside my hotel and wait until a car pulls up.

I look up as the window rolls down. “You have the same expression on your face now as you did the last time you ran away from your foster home. Have you had enough?”

I get up and get into the car. “I’m so stupid, Henry.”

“Ah, sounds like it’s a taco kind of night. That’s good. I was kind of in the mood anyway.” I sit quietly, not knowing what to say. “I would ask how’s it going, but from the look on your face and the bruise on your cheek, I think I can guess.”

“He set me up. He set me up to be the target, and I fell for it.”

“Who’s he?”

“I thought—I thought he was someone I …” I look over at Henry who sighs deeply. “He seemed different.”

“I am not going to remind you what your goal is here. I am also not going to remind you that getting involved with anyone at this time would be a very bad idea. Whoever he is, I would suggest getting over your issues with him and quick. Otherwise, this mission you’re on will end badly for all involved.” Henry pulls into the parking lot of our favorite Mexican place, a place he would take me to whenever I was too upset to talk. Henry knows enough about me to grab my hand and hold it while I stare silently out the window. I have to regain control over the insanity running through my head.

`Ben had my bags sent to my hotel before I made it back from dinner with Henry. I packed one to take with me to the airport, and I was the last one to show up. “Good morning, Laila,” Nathan says, happier than usual. I assume it’s only because I appear so miserable. I meet Ben’s eyes and quickly divert in another direction. I get on the plane last so I can choose a seat by myself, not that it does any good. Ben changes seats mid-air and sits beside me. He’s silent while I stare out the window, ignoring him.

“Laila, I’m sorry about yesterday. I did my best to stay with you and protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection, Ben. I don’t need your jokes, your charm, your smile, or anything else you want to use on me. I don’t need you, period.” He stays for a few seconds, looking at me as if he wants to say something to make it better somehow. It’s no use. I hold my anger on him until he finally gets up and moves back to his original seat. I watch him closely until he sits down, making sure he understands. I fall back in my seat to look across the aisle at Luca who, for once, doesn’t smile back. “What’s your problem?”

“You. If you want to know the truth, you stubborn ass. You didn’t even give him a chance to explain. It wasn’t his idea you know? It was Nathan’s. Ben planned something completely different, something to keep you safe, and Nathan jumped the plan to look good in front of Titus. Why the hell would he make you a target and keep you at his own home? Ben had located Kian’s hideout. He was going to get him, easily, and Nathan knew it. He set you both up and got his way. He made Ben look foolish and you look like the weak woman he had to rescue. He couldn’t be happier, and your attitude towards Ben is just making him even more so.” Luca stares at me hard as I realize I was wrong. “Yeah, that feeling you have right now, it’s called being a jackass.”

Titus is enjoying his island getaway immensely. He’s got Jolie spending time shopping while he screws everything that moves near him. I make sure to keep my distance and try to wish the time away since my partner is not the most exciting person to stand with. Ben made sure we didn’t work together, and no one else even halfway interesting would volunteer to take his place. Josiah drew the short straw apparently, and he’s pretending I don’t exist. We are supposed to be here in paradise for seven days, and I’m miserable already. I am more than ready to leave my shift and go to my room to sleep, handing over the reins to the next shift of Gus and Ben. As Ben discusses with Josiah the transition, I look him over and wait for him to look my way, which is only brief and cold. I go to my room, open the sliding glass door, and crash into bed, falling asleep instantly. I don’t wake up until pebbles begin to hit my bed. I jump up and run to the balcony, ready to fire back into the dark night, when I see Ben wet from swimming.

“You were dreaming again,” he says, turning his back to me and jumping back into the water. I watch as he swims several laps before stopping to look up at me again. “Want to swim?”

“I don’t swim.”

“What do you mean you don’t swim? You grew up near the beach.”

“My parents drowned, so I don’t swim. Thanks for the wake up. Enjoy your swim.” I walk back inside, and within seconds, he’s climbed up and walked in behind me. “What are you? Some sort of freak monkey man? What’s with you climbing in my room all the time?”

“I’m sorry about the other day. I didn’t want it to go down like that.”

“I know—now anyway. Just forget it, okay? I overreacted, and …” I stop as he walks up on me. “Ben, you’re all wet, and you’re getting me wet.”

“Your cheek is healing nicely.” The moment he touches me, that wonderful sensation of him rushes through me, but an even better one follows when his lips touch mine. “I said I was sorry.” His eyes hold me until I can’t resist.

“I forgive you,” I murmur, unsure if I want him to hear me or not.

He leans in and whispers, “Thank you. I would feel better, though, if you prove it.” He takes one step back before I jump into his arms and take hold of his lips. It shouldn’t feel this good to be with him. I keep hoping I will get tired of him somehow, but with every touch, I only want him more. I can feel him hardening between my legs. I push him into a chair and straddle his legs. Ben grips my ass, encouraging my movement against him. Grabbing hold of the edges of my shirt, Ben stops me again from going any further. “Damn it. Stop, not because I am not incredibly turned on right now, but because ...” He puts his finger to his mouth and has me listen. There is someone outside, below my balcony, listening and paying close attention. I shake my head, not understanding. “Nathan. I heard the clacking of his stupid boots.” Nathan’s boots are his pride and joy and even in a tropical paradise that would make Satan himself sweat, he chooses them over something more practical. His specialty made boots, with a labyrinth on their heel are a fashion statement I have long known about him. It’s the first thing I noticed. “Laila?” I shake off my memories and return to Ben with a smile.

“I can shut the door,” I suggest, feeling closed in at the sheer mention of the idea.

“You’re shaking already, Laila. I’m not going to ask you to do that, although I’m now regretting giving you the worst and smallest room,” he says with a culpable smile. “I was mad at you for not listening to me, not mad enough to put you on the first floor without a balcony though.” I shake my head and rest on top of him as he avoids touching me too much. “I can make it better.”

“Better how? Just fuck me already. Damn, Ben, what is wrong with you? I am ready. Who cares about Nathan? Screw him, let him hear us. It doesn’t matter to me.” I look down at his hardened excitement. “Looks like you’re ready too.”

His eyes fall over me as he tries to keep his hands under control. “I just want …”

“What? You want what?”

“I don’t want it to be a mistake for you. I still feel like you don’t trust me, and if you don’t trust me, then I’m just another guy who fucked you. I want to be something more.” I close my eyes, hating every emotion running through me. “Hey, we both work tomorrow, but then I can make sure we are both off for two days. Spend the day with me? And the night?”

“What are you trying to do to me?” I shake my head, not understanding who this man is.

He runs his hand over my body. “I’m trying to respect you. Having sex while Nathan listens in is not exactly respectable.” He lifts my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “I don’t want this feeling to end, this feeling I have when I’m with you. It’s addictive.”

“And you’re afraid you won’t feel the same if we have sex?”

“No. I’m afraid you won’t feel the same.”

“How do you know I feel anything for you?” I ask, watching him smile knowingly. “Fine.” I adjust my body to rub against him one more time to hear him groan. “But just so you know, I don’t fall in love.” I give him a quick kiss and get up to walk away. He reaches around and pulls me back.

“Hey Laila, you want to make a bet?”

“On what?”

“That you’re already falling in love with me?” he says confidently. I fear his confidence is warranted and my mission will only become impossible.

On our first day off, Ben meets me right after breakfast at the pool. “Where’s your swimsuit?”

“I told you, I don’t swim.”

“It’s an island, a tropical island.”

I shrug. “Well, I don’t have one. Shorts and a t-shirt will have to do.”

He rolls his eyes. “Come with me.” Taking my hand, he leads me to an open jeep and drives to a small town. “We are going to get you a swimsuit.” He drags me into a place where I am pushed into a changing room and given nothing but the tiny bikinis he selects for me.

“You know, I think I am more of a one piece type.” Ben laughs hysterically. “I don’t think that’s funny.”

“Pick one, take the tags off, and give them to me so we can go. Or we can go nude, whichever you prefer. I’m good either way.”

“I’ll pick one.”

“That’s what I thought.” I walk out with a tiny bathing suit underneath my clothes, covering as much of it as possible. “Oh you look great. So glad I picked that one, which I can’t see at all.” I roll my eyes as the lady behind the counter laughs and gushes over his charm. The slut even finds a way to touch him multiple times and shove her breasts in his face. No matter the language, women still want him, and it’s really irritating.

“I go with you. If you want? Naked?” She asks, smiling all over him.

“No. We’re good,” I say, grabbing his hand and dragging him back out to the car. Ben glances my way with a huge grin before putting the car in gear. “Just go, Romeo.”

He drives us to a remote part of the island, singing to me the whole way. He makes me laugh even when I don’t want to. We park the car so it’s hidden. He takes out two large backpacks before taking my hand and leading me to the edge of the water. “I told you Ben, I don’t swim.”

“I know, but we need to get into the water to get where we are going. It will be worth it, I promise.” I look at the water as he takes his shirt off and packs it into the backpack. “Give me your clothes.” I take off my shorts and shirt and hand them to him as he looks me over, dumbfounded. “Wow.”

“Don’t push it,” I say, secretly smiling at his compliment. We load up our backpacks, and he takes my hand to lead me into the water. I immediately begin to shake my head. “Ben, what are we doing? Going into water with heavy backpacks? We’ll drown.”

“No, we won’t. These will float. I promise. Come on. The backpack will actually help you.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. Just look at me.” He takes both of my hands as I try to focus on his face. “It’s okay.” The water washing up around me makes it harder to breathe. Ben stops. “Hey, Tiger, look at me. Look at me. It’s okay. Trust me. You’re okay.” We sink into the water, and he pulls me to him. “Hold onto me. I got you. Close your eyes if you want.” I hold my head against his, keeping my eyes closed as we float in the water. Ben begins singing in my ear, taking my mind off the water around us. “Layla!” he sings, making me laugh at his ridiculous energy for the song. He kisses my cheek. “We are almost there. All we need to do is go under the water.”

I open my eyes wide and shake my head. “Ben, no! I can’t! I can’t!” I look back, noticing how far we are from the shore. “Ben!”

“Laila, look at me. It’s okay. Kiss me, and everything will be alright. All you have to do is kiss me, and it’ll be over.” Once my lips meet his, a calming sensation comes over me. He strokes my back and holds me close, keeping me protected from the water creeping up around us. His lips are so wonderful, so enticing and full of desire, as they take me over. I could kiss him all day, every day. “There you go. We’re here.” I open my eyes and look around at the dazzling cave. “Sorry, but we could only get here the way we came. The difficulty, especially once the tide rises, makes it certain we will be alone.” Ben pulls me to the side, helping me out of the water. I look back, not believing I actually went under the water and came out fine for the first time since my parents died.

I wander the twinkling cave. The deep blue water makes it feel as though we have stepped inside a prism. “It’s beautiful.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet. Come with me.” He takes my hand, and I follow him out of the sunlit cavern to a perch overlooking endless miles of ocean. “There’s an inlet over here where the dolphins play. It’s clear water if you want to try it?” His eyes ignite something inside of me, inspiring a smile and a nod. Ben didn’t lie. The inlet water is clear to the bottom, and dolphins play as if they are in a school yard. “There is no easy way in. We have to jump. The tide will rise soon, and we can walk right out. Until then, we have to jump in and climb out. We will do it together.” I place my hand within his and face the water, taking in a deep breath. “Jump.” I leap, holding tight to his hand, feeling freer than I have ever felt. The water rushes over me while a hand reaches out and pulls me to the surface. I open my eyes to his smiling face. He radiates happiness in a way I’ve never seen. “You did it!”

“Is it really that big of a deal to you that I jumped into a pool of water?”

“No, it’s that you trusted me enough to jump.” Letting go of all my fears, I wrap my body around him, pressing my lips to his and trusting him to take care of me. The dolphins playfully interrupt our intimate nuzzling. We return the favor with a great amount of laughter. Ben cradles me back to him. “Do you hear them, Laila, the dolphins? They are excited you’re here. They have a lot to tell you, and they want to know all about you too.”

Feeling over his chest, his arms, I smile at his flattering eyes. “I don’t think they care what I have to say.”

“No?” I shake my head. “Well, I do.”

“Who are you, Benjamin Ryder?”

“The man who is all wrong for you, Laila Lowell.” His wrong embraces my body with a desire that reaches all the right places.

When the tide rises, we move back to the cave and rest with food and drinks. Ben doesn’t push for anything more than to hold me. He gives me the opportunity to come to him. The yearning comes naturally when the moonlight glistens across the ocean and the night air blows us closer. I encourage him for more. No words, just a simple pull of the string on my top, and he takes over. Ben pulls the last string around my neck, exposing my breasts. His hands are warm and tender as he massages each one. One more kiss and his lips trail down to my breasts, indulging in the taste of my nipples. I sink deeper into the plush bed he made for us, gripping his hand that stretches out long over my head. He takes his time moving down my body, gripping the edge of what is left of my bikini and sliding the bottoms down my legs, his eyes following. A slow hand up my leg, followed by his mouth, meet at my center. I gasp at the touch of his tongue on my clit, the rhythmic hum of his enjoyment, a prelude to my ecstasy. I have never been so wet and wanting. I cry out to him, squeezing his hand as the intensity surges. His hand holds me in place when my body starts to quiver.

My eyes close with a frenzied exhale. “Ben.” I open my eyes again to find him sitting up tall and bare. Looking over his naked body, I begin exploring and finding the places I have dreamed of touching. I take great pleasure in handling his body as I want. Kissing, licking, and rubbing until I can wait no longer. Ben lays me down with him, taking hold of my lips with his and making his place between my legs.

Our eyes meet as I feel his tip brush against me.

“Breathe,” he whispers against my lips. The pressure of him follows soon. Penetrating deep inside of me, he holds my body and moves it to the rhythm of his hardened cock. Sliding in and out from his tip to the depth of his shaft, I feel him, scream out for him, until his sweet lips find their way back to me. We move, and I find myself on top of him, sitting up and letting my head drop back as I cradle his head to my breasts. I let go and enjoy the blissful harmony we are in. Ben watches me as I reach my peak, encouraging me to come on him. The moment I do, he groans in my ear, “Damn, you feel good.” In an instant, I am off the ground and leaning against the wall of the cave with him thrusting inside of me. Cradling him, I press my lips against his cheek as he releases and breathes easily. Ben’s smiling eyes gaze back at me. “Are you falling in love with me yet?” I laugh, kissing him without a care in the world.

Our bed is warm and comforting to our weary bodies, but nothing feels better than being in his arms as I close my eyes and fall asleep. When morning comes, I wake in his embrace, and he immediately caresses my face. “You didn’t cry out all night, Laila.” I have no idea why my nightmares didn’t find me, but I’m glad. “Let’s get some breakfast and go swimming. No need for swimsuits today?” I nod at his request, just as eager to spend more time with him—naked.

I have never been so free, swimming nude with him and knowing, with a simple bite of my bottom lip, he knows what I want. “I don’t want to go back,” I say holding, tight to him. “Please Ben, let's stay.”

“I wish we could, Tiger, but we both have to get back. What if I promise to bring you back though? Just the two of us?” he asks, waiting for me to nod before he smiles.

It feels strange to have clothes on again and even stranger to be walking through the hotel, holding his hand and smiling so wide my face hurts. The first person to greet us as we round the corner is Jolie. She saw us leave together yesterday morning, and it looks as though she’s been waiting for us ever since. She’s been drinking and is boldly facing off with us.

“So, where have you two been? Having fun, I hope?” she asks, looking me over with vengeance in her eyes.

Ben takes a noticeable step in front of me. “We did, on our day off. Have a nice day, Jolie.” He grips my hand as he stares her down.

“Oh, you two are so cute together. You really are.” Ben keeps moving, ignoring her. “Ben. Ben!” She runs up on us and grabs his arm, making things worse between them. “Can I talk to you please? For just a second, I promise.” I stare hard at her, wondering if we shouldn’t do something other than walk away.

“No.”

“But we are having a party, and I wanted to see if you both wanted to come. It’s going to be fun.”

Ben holds tight to my hand. “No, thank you. Laila and I have dinner plans.”

“You know, I could force you to come, make you have fun with me. This is a working trip for you both.”

“You don’t want to mess with me, Jolie, and you know it.” We walk away from her glare.

The way she looks at him, her eyes filling with tears, I feel sorry for her, and for the first time, I wonder if she truly loves him. When we crawl into bed for the night, I have to ask. “Can I ask you something and you be honest with me?”

“I’m afraid of the question, considering the look on your face, but, yes, I will be honest.”

“If Jolie hadn’t gotten involved with Titus, do you think you would be with her now?”

“I can’t answer ‘what ifs’, Laila. All I know is that everything has worked out the way it has. Everything happens for a reason, and you were my reason. Don’t you believe in destiny?”