CHAPTER 19
Laila
I go back to staying at the hotel, telling myself I have control of the assignment and my life. I even sleep alone some nights, not that I actually sleep. I miss him when he’s not next to me.
It’s been months since I started this job, and I haven’t seen any sign of Noah—dead or alive. If I don’t get something soon, I’m going to get pulled from the assignment. Henry believes I’m stalling on purpose. “I know you, Laila. You should have this job figured out and done by now. What is going on with you? You seem—happy, to be working for him? I can’t imagine why that would be, considering what you know about him.”
“It’s not that easy. Titus doesn’t just trust anyone with important information, only a select few. I am not one of those yet. If it makes you happy, I have a feeling there is something up with Nathan. I would be willing to bet he’s the one that is behind Noah’s disappearance. If he’s alive, Nathan knows where.”
“Well, do whatever you can to find out. I’ll see what I can do on my end. I want you to complete your assignment and get out as soon as possible. The longer you stay in, the more I worry about you ever coming out,” Henry warns one last time before I leave him with mixed emotions. Henry believes I am going to fall into a trap, that Ben is going to leave me to die, the first moment I show any sign of disloyalty. Maybe that’s true. Maybe. It doesn’t change how I feel. I can’t hate him. I can’t hurt him, no matter what end he may be setting me up for. I can try and find answers, without anyone knowing. If I can control the answers, then I can control how this ends. There is only one person I know that can thread that needle, slip in between the police and the criminals without anyone noticing. Mika. He can help me find Noah, and find the facts of what happened so I can tear away what I don’t want anyone else to know and thread the information back to setup the one, and only one that I want —Nathan.
The walk back to the hotel is a somber one, but I talk myself into getting back on track, back to my goals and back to doing what I need to for my father. Then, a car pulls up beside me.
“Hey, Tiger. Are you hungry?” I turn to look inside the car as a bright smile emerges. “Come on, get in. I bought everything needed to make the perfect meal.”
“I have to work early tomorrow, Ben. You have a tendency to keep me up all night.”
“I promise I’ll behave. I’ll even bring you back to your hotel room at the end of the night. No sleeping over. You snore anyway.”
“I …” I start to argue until he laughs. “You’re not going to leave me alone until I say yes are you?” Sigh. “Fine. But it’s going to be an early night.” I jump into his car and laugh at the fool as he sings every song on the radio with vigor. My mind wanders, and he notices. He doesn’t ask. Maybe he’s afraid to know, but he takes my hand and holds it with a gentle brush of his thumb. The moment I walk into his place, I feel at home, which makes it all the more frustrating. Ben sets out bags of food, laying everything on the counter just as he likes it before calling me over. “What do you want me to do?”
“Hey, I paid for it. The least you can do is help me make it.”
“I can’t cook, Ben, unless you like microwave dinners or meals that only require adding water?”
“I’ll show you.” He kisses me with encouragement. Music goes on, and he instantly acts a fool, taking my hand to spin me in front of him. Forget the “just add water” meals. Just add music and Ben turns into a one man circus. He has me dancing with him as he shows me how to cut, chop, and mix. I do my best to pay attention and help out, but the dancing and singing gets the best of me, and I can do nothing more than laugh at the mess we are creating. I am not sure anything is edible, but Ben, as always, is optimistic. “Yeah, see. It’s going to be great. It’s a little off from the picture, but it will still taste good.” He points to the disaster in the oven that looks like some kind of autopsy rather than a meal. I burst out laughing so hard I can’t stop. He looks up at me in shock, and I laugh harder.
“Ben, it looks like something a pack of wild dogs have been chewing on.”
“That’s not what you were going for?”
“No, I was trying to match the picture.”
“Oh. Huh. Well that’s unfortunate,” I laugh, falling into his chest as he holds me, kissing my cheek and laughing with me. “We have to at least try this thing before we give up and order food.”
“Okay, if you say so,” I agree, trying to clean up the kitchen while we wait, but I am distracted by him and his wanting eyes. We spend our wait time curled up together on his sofa, reading articles on the internet. It all feels so unreal, a dream I never dared to allow myself to have. When the food is done, Ben takes it out and sits it down in front of us with a determined expression. I hold my mouth as he sticks a fork in and prepares to take a bite.
I watch him chew and start to nod. “It looks awful, no doubt, but it actually tastes pretty good.”
“No!” He gets another fork full and feeds me a bite. To my surprise, it actually is good.
I’m shocked while Ben smiles, kissing me. “You’re amazing.” Suddenly, my heart sinks, and I ache inside. I want time to stop, for my life to change or for me to be someone else, for him—only for him. It’s not fair, and he instantly recognizes the turmoil written all over my face. “What’s wrong?” I shake my head and force a smile. “Laila, what’s wrong? You’re upset for some reason, and I don’t understand why.”
“It’s nothing, just a memory you reminded me of,” I say, allowing him to assume anything but what it is.
“I tell you what. Our next day off, we are going to get up early and go to the outdoor market and get some fresh food. I want to see what you can do with even better ingredients.”
“Ugh. Do they sell any frozen meals?” I ask, enjoying making him laugh for once.