CHAPTER SIX

AJ moved behind her desk and took a seat, watching as the ghost from her past took one of the chairs. Her eyes moved over his face. He was even more attractive now than he’d been fifteen years ago, and AJ thought not for the first time how unfair it was that men often aged so much better than women. There were squint lines fanning out from the corners of his eyes. His face was tan except for those lines, which meant he spent a lot of time outside, and he did it happy, smiling, or laughing. He ran a hand down his beard, one that was well shaped along his strong jawline, not too long, but a good length.

“You wanted to see me, Doc?” His brow rose, his words breaking her from her scrutiny.

“Holly tells me you’ve become her savior. She’s developed quite an attachment to you.”

He nodded. “I’m aware.”

“Do you think that’s healthy for her?”

“I know it’s hard to believe—the rabbit and the wolf. But I’ve been good to her.”

“May I be frank with you?”

“Sure.”

“Have you slept with her?”

He obviously hadn’t been expecting that question. Good, she liked seeing him off balance, like he’d done to her all those years ago. It was nice that the tables had turned.

He shifted in his chair. “Nope.”

“Do you plan to?”

“And how is that relevant again?”

“What the hell are you doing with this girl?” she asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that girl is half in love with you.”

He blew out a slow breath. “I know.”

“She’s vulnerable, and I won’t have you taking advantage of that fact.”

“I’m not taking advantage of a damn thing.”

She leaned back in her chair. “Perhaps we should address the elephant in the room. I remember you, you know.”

His eyes bore into hers. “I remember you, too, Allison.”

She lifted her chin. “I go by AJ now.” Her eyes dropped to his MC vest. “I’m surprised to see how you ended up.”

He huffed out a breath with a smirk. “Are you, really?”

She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I suppose not. I suppose it should be no surprise at all. Maybe the surprise is that you’re not back in prison.”

His eyes narrowed, and there was a steely edge to his voice. “I don’t plan to ever go back.”

“That’s good to know.”

“We done with the snarky attitude yet?” he snapped, irritation plain on his face.

She chuckled. If he thought he could bully her, he had another thing coming. “I’m not the same person I was back then.”

“I doubt either of us is.”

“Don’t think you can manipulate me. I’m not so easily played by men like you any longer.”

“Played? When did I play you?” He actually had the nerve to draw his brows together, like he honestly didn’t remember.

“You know exactly what I’m referring to.” She hadn’t forgotten. She hadn’t forgotten a second of their time together, especially the last meeting, the last time she’d ever laid eyes on him. Fifteen years ago, and it felt like yesterday. He sat before her now with no clue to the impact he’d had on her. He was one of the two biggest influences who had shaped her life, her character, even her very substance right down to her core.

Fourteen years ago—

“Allison, please. I’m begging you, for the sake of my baby,” he growled in that low sexy voice that always got to her.

She sat across a table from him, like she’d done so many times over the past year, trying to get through to him, to make some type of difference in his life, as small as her part could be. She cared about all the men and women who came through the community center trying to get their lives back. But perhaps none had touched her like he had.

She was required to sign off on his paperwork, to make sure he’d fulfilled the counseling requirements of his parole. She had to be truthful no matter what hardship tales the parolees told her. And she’d been doing well, until this man had come through. He used every tactic and advantage he had against her. He had years of experience, and he used it. He cajoled her, flirted with her, and said anything he needed to in order to get what he wanted—her to sign off on the sessions. He needed a total of forty. He had only thirty-two, which meant another eight weeks of sessions were required of him, which meant his parole would continue on past the twelve months for another two months until he completed every requirement.

Of course he had excuses why he’d missed the sessions. They all did. They couldn’t get off work, they couldn’t get a ride, they didn’t have bus fare; hell, she’d heard them all.

Somehow, over the last twelve months, this man had gotten past what little defenses she had.

He’d begun with just mere brushes of his fingers against hers as she passed him paperwork. Then there was that soft, low voice of his that caressed her with its seductive quality. The smiles, the winks, the subtle looks that all sent a message…

Before she knew it, she was infatuated with him.

And now he needed her to lie for him.

“All right,” she’d finally whispered, giving in to his pleading. She’d signed off with the promise that he would come back for more sessions even when he got released from parole. She trusted him. He wouldn’t look at her like that and lie to her, would he?

Not that she ever expected anything to come of it. She knew there were a child and a baby momma he’d been trying to locate since he’d been released. She felt for him. She knew how much it tore at him that he couldn’t find them. As long as he was on parole, he wasn’t free to leave the state to search for them.

So she gave him what he needed, believing that somehow she was doing the right thing, perhaps helping along the reunion of his little family.

He’d stood, taking the paper she’d held out to him, and gave her a big smile and a hug. “I owe you one, Allison. I won’t let you down. Thank you.”

***

She stared at the man sitting in her office now. Every word back then had been a lie. She’d never seen him again, and as far as she knew, there probably never was a woman or baby. He’d just played her, used her tender heart against her for his own purposes.

Back then she’d been unguarded and unaware of the way men would manipulate her. That changed the moment he’d walked out of that room. She swore she’d never fall for another sob story again, and she hadn’t. She’d toughened her skin and hardened her heart, and it had served her purposes well. She’d eventually gotten out of counseling on the non-profit level and built her own practice, often testifying before the bench on court-ordered mental evaluations of defendants and also on behalf of traumatized victims of spousal abuse.

Usually she worked for the prosecution, but lately, she’d worked more and more in the field of abusive relationships and abused women.

“Look, maybe I did play you back then—”

“Maybe?” Her brows shot up.

“But I had a good reason.”

“Of course you did. They all do. Every felon has some bullshit justification for what they do.” She pushed her papers aside. “I didn’t bring you in here to discuss the past. Holly told me everything that happened to her, including how you rescued her. She has nothing but good things to say about you.”

“Great.”

“But I can’t help but warn you, as I did her, that this relationship could be toxic.”

“Toxic? I’d never hurt her, if that’s what you mean.”

She watched his eyes stray to the flyer for the Abused Woman’s Center fundraiser that lay on her desk. “She needs to return to her regular routine. She can’t continue to hide out in that… that clubhouse.” His chin came up at the umbrage in her voice, but she didn’t care as she stated the obvious. “She told me she was attending University of New Orleans. She needs to re-enroll in classes as soon as UNO lets her. She needs to get back with people her own age.”

“Don’t you think I know all that? She won’t go. She’s terrified… has a breakdown if I even suggest it.”

“There are some techniques I can give you, some steps you can take slowly but firmly to steer her toward moving on with her life. But I need to reiterate, she’s vulnerable and—I believe—half in love with you. You’ll have to let her down easy.”

He ran his hand down his jaw and beard. “Any suggestions on how to do that?”

“If you really have her best interests at heart, then I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I want what’s best for her. That’s why I brought her here.”

“I hope you’re sincere.” She could see she’d gotten under his skin. Too bad, it was true—he and Holly both had to hear some cold hard facts. “This isn’t going to be easy.”

“No shit.”

“Are you willing to do what it takes?”

“I’m here aren’t I?”

“That means no more kissing or anything else. And before you give me another one of those denials, she told me.”

“That’s as far as it’s gone. I swear.”

“Yes, well, I remember how much your word is worth.”

His jaw tightened. “I deserve that. All right? I know. But I’m being straight with you now. So, can you lay off the jabs?”

She tapped a stack of papers on the desk that didn’t need straightening. “Maintain some distance from her as much as possible. You have to build some emotional space between the two of you. She’s going to push. You’re going to have to stand firm.”

“Got it. What about the depression?”

“I could prescribe something for her, but I’d rather not unless it becomes too severe. I believe the best way to overcome what’s happened is for her to continue the sessions with me where she’s safe to talk about everything, and we can work on skills for her to apply in her day-to-day life. In the meantime, here’s a list of things that are important for her to do.” She handed him a flyer. As he scanned it, she recited the steps. “Routine is important; it gives her structure. You or she needs to set goals. Daily goals. They can start small like making the bed or doing the dishes. As she begins to feel better, add more challenging ones.

“She also needs to take on daily responsibilities. They will ground her and give her a sense of accomplishment. If she’s not up to full time school, that’s fine, but think about part-time.

“It’s also good for her to do something new and different. Perhaps a new craft or hobby or a visit to somewhere she’s never been. It’s important for her to make time for things she enjoys and that make her happy and that are fun.”

Undertaker nodded. “Okay. What else?”

“She needs to eat right, get enough sleep, and I can’t stress enough the importance of exercise. It temporarily boosts the feel-good chemicals called endorphins. Regular exercise also seems to encourage the brain to rewire itself in a positive way. You may have to take up jogging if she won’t do it alone.”

“Great.” The sarcasm in his voice was undeniable.

“Eventually, you’re going to need to find someone to begin taking the place of looking after her, someone who can also make her feel safe, especially if she’s to break her infatuation with you. Can you think of anyone suitable?”

“Anyone? Yeah. Suitable? No.”

“Well, I’ll leave that to you and her sister.”