The sheer joy in Mackenzie’s face when she saw her father I together in the car was absolutely priceless. Whatever else we may face in the future—moments like this made it seem like it would be okay, like it was worthwhile.

There was so much left unsaid between Gabriel and I. His phone call had consumed the remaining time we’d had before needing to leave to pick up Mackenzie. I worried at all that was left unsaid between us.

Mackenzie begged to go to the ice cream parlor, and neither of us had the heart to deny her. I thought about sending a quick text to a few of the mom’s letting them know where they were headed if they wanted to join them. But just as quickly decided I didn’t want to share this moment with anyone.

Gabriel found a parking spot, and the three of us walked together to the store, Mackenzie holding her father’s hand on one side, and mine on the other. She skipped the entire way there, and as always, I found her joy infectious. I laughed as Mackenzie dropped our hands and raced to the parlor door. It was good to see her happy.

I glanced at Gabriel with eyes dancing, only to find him staring at me. My eyes widened; his blue eyes were dark, like a lake on a stormy day, and filled with desire. My heart nearly stopped as my breath hitched, warmth spreading from the top of my head to the very tips of my toes. He took a step toward me when Mackenzie called out from the doorway. “Come on you guys! The ice cream’s melting!”

I turned from Gabriel toward the little girl I’d grown to love as though she were my own. “I’ll race you!” I challenged Gabriel over my shoulder as I took off running at top speed.

How he beat me, I have no idea. I was fit, and I ran almost daily, and I thought I was fast—until today, but clearly, Gabriel was faster.

Mackenzie squealed as her dad reached her first, picking her up and swinging her around in the air, hugging her close.

A motion to the right caught my attention. And I thought I caught a glimpse of a blonde bun disappearing behind the darkened window of a Mercedes—the window scrolled to the top. The car took off from the curb at a screech. Was that Daisy?

Another screech from Zee drew my attention back to the parlor, and I laughed, running the final steps to join Zee and her dad as they walked inside.

“I’ll take a Rum-Infused-Pirate, please,” I ordered, the moment I reached the counter, well aware of a several second stare from Gabriel. Clearly he was out of the loop. I bit my lip to keep from smiling.

“Umm. I’ll take a root beer float, please.” He turned to give me a lifted eyebrow glance.

“I would like a jacked-up carrot cake, please,” Zee ordered with all the innocence of a five-year-old.

This time I did laugh when Gabriel shot me a what are you teaching my daughter look.

I shot him an oh you haven’t seen anything yet response as I pulled my wallet from my purse. Gabriel started to protest, but I stopped him short with a don’t even try it look.

Amusement filtered through his eyes, and then Mackenzie demanded his attention. She had missed him. We both had missed him.

I struggled to enjoy the moment and not give any space to the doubts and concerns that threatened to crowd my mind regarding all the things we’d left unsaid as I watched Gabriel walk toward the arcade game with Zee.

I was more than just a nanny, dammit; I had a master’s degree from Penn for God’s sake and had applied for the Ph.D. program there. I was working secretly for a Senator in the U.S. government on an assignment that was slated “need to know.”

I’d turned down a job from the CIA because I was quite certain I couldn’t perform even a fraction of the things the agency typically required from their agents.

Before falling in love with Gabriel and Mackenzie, I’d thought I could potentially juggle the world of back-seat espionage while keeping it low profile in my life. Boy, had I been wrong. I’d fallen in love…

The faint throb of a headache threatened, and I massaged my temples with my fingertips.

In the back of my mind, I thought I heard my name, but I was lost in my thoughts. Then Mackenzie shook my arm. “Thea, your ice cream is ready! Didn’t you hear him?” she asked.

“I’ve got it, Zee, thanks!” I replied with a sideways glance at Gabriel.

His eyes raked over my face, filled with questions. There would be no escape from his questions, interrogation—demands for answers once we returned home. He’d made that clear before we’d left to pick Mackenzie up from school, and it was doubly clear now.

As we finished the final licks of their ice cream, Mackenzie jumped from her chair and declared, “I’ll be right back.” Her happiness was infectious, and Gabriel and I shared a smiled as she raced toward her friends as fast as her legs could take her.

As wonderful as the last thirty minutes had been, there was a boulder sitting in the pit of my stomach as I considered what I should, could, and could not tell Gabriel.

My body and heart affirmed that I wanted a permanent relationship with him, but my mind told a different story.

Could we even trust each other? Could a family endure two people involved with government agencies? Would we destine Mackenzie to a life without parents if we did? All of these thoughts streamed through my head with the full knowledge that Gabriel had absolutely no idea what I did on the side—or at least I didn’t think he did.

My mind briefly flashed back to a vision of me as an eleven-year-old, religiously watching news coverage of crime scenes. I’d been absolutely certain I wanted to be an FBI agent or a spy someday, and go out into the world to make a difference in a significant way.

It was that feeling I was experiencing again with respect to my side job. I knew that the gritty stuff that agents did every day was not something I wanted to do. I wasn’t sure I could. It was really hard to imagine killing anyone—regardless of how bad or evil they were. My side gig seemed perfect in light of that.

I had a pressing need to address something much larger than myself, which is exactly why I had decided a year ago that I would never marry or have children. Yet here I was, wanting both. Wanting it with every fiber of my being.

Gabriel’s eyes sought mine, I could feel it, and I knew he could feel the weight on my shoulders, but I didn’t dare to meet his eyes. Not here. Not in an ice cream parlor with Mackenzie just steps away.

Was I just being dramatic, or was there merit to my angst? In my heart I knew the stakes, the stuff that stories were made of as I battled the tug between career and family—if indeed this family was even an option any more.

I had no idea what Gabriel was thinking, and despite the fact that Mackenzie was in bed by 7:30 p.m. every week night, there just never seemed to be enough time, especially when you added in the fact that he’d been away for work all but one week since I’d come to Yarmouth.

Nausea flooded my stomach, and my head began to throb. I hoped that I could keep the migraine at bay—that I’d be capable of talking through the issues I was quite sure were at the forefront of both of our minds.